For romansk a miss from Gdansk, There once was a man from Gdansk But wasn't that out in Slovenia; The city was really Smolensk Perhaps you're remembering Kharkov? We went north to old Archangelsk; There was a huge girl from Yakutsk, Raquel, from the Argentine pampas, Mariachis for the local cantina; There was a young girl from Belize, A cracker who lived in Brazil, Just say, "Gem of the Ocean," they snigger, I know a loose fellow named Leo, A serape from Mexico calls, I'm just back from Texas today, In Mexico, I dropped a few dimes And did you like cattleman Lorne? It's amazing. They grow up so soon. The Washington Post wins a prize A lovely young girl offered sex "We're shooting a magazine spread I kissed her sweet innocent face Now weak with desire I said, "Sister, A native Executive Sec Panama is no longer our pal Then I landed a girl from Patagonia, One ought not to go to Peruvia; A circus lion in poor fettle There was a young man from Peru -- There was a young man from Peru The end of the world is at hand. Jump off point to Antarctica bleak, Round the Horn on a day that is rough;
This is file kxm
Beyond here, be dragons tenacious; Fin Del Mundo, Ushuaia of old; I have strayed very far from my home. I blew all my dough, like E. Flynn. Took a trip down Mexico way, Returning from a foreign trip, It truly is breaking my heart, The film will be ready on Monday. Some people would think it insane, A smart Hong Kong guy name of Cisco, Circumnavigation Our lovely brunette was no sneak A vacation at sea is a cruise, Old Erm's on vacation again, I once to a trip to NYC; One weekend I drove to San Fran So I thought I'd head down to L.A. Now I'm sailing to good old Barbados So I guess I'll just turn right around I was travelling deep into Europe, In Vienna, I met at the Prater, In the festival beerhalls of Munich, In a farmyard just outside Dachau, I've packed in my shirts and my jocks, Advice you'll not find in a poem I'm rushing around like a mad A neighbor I knew was a drunk, The hoteliers are down in their trade, A globe-trotting man from St Paul A globe-trotting man from Twin Cities Bon voyage to my good matey Gary, A well-traveled fellow named Greer We are off to good old Natal, There was a Manhattan Tycoon (Schroon Lake, New York, USA)
Took a chansk on a trip to Murmansk.
But she didn't screwski
A single young Rooski;
She longed for a Pole in her pantsk.
--- Pierce Evans
Who stole Tiddy Ogg's velvet pantsk.
When we asked Tids to dansk,
He replied with a glansk,
"I would if I could but I can'tsk."
--- Ericka
I know you were there 'cause I seen ya.
That horizontal tango
You did with old Django,
Was great, though he's ten years your senior.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Where Django's prick, quite swollensk,
Young Ericka humped
And ground as they bumped,
Before Django filled Ogg's colonsk.
--- Randog
I stripped to the skin in the darkov
A cold winter's night?
We dance in firelight,
Till we got too close and caught a sparkov.
--- Ericka
You ate cockles, winkles and welksk.
And then got so hot
From misuse of your twat,
It caused half the ice-cap to meltsk.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who had an enormous big buttsk.
She tried sixteen pair
Of huge underwear,
But finally gave up in disgutsk.
--- Ericka
Attends an American campus.
"You guys ride like a gaucho,
When we're spread on the couch. Oh,
We love the rough way that you tamp us!"
--- Hugh Clary
Party guests dancing the Macarena.
Chile rellenos divine,
Tears flowing like wine;
"Don't cry for me, Arch and Tina!"
--- Ron sartain
With the boys could not feel at her ease.
She was good with a lens,
Shooting all her friends:
"Please sit down with my mum, and say cheese."
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Found the nuts there, were making her ill.
She flew off by airplane
Never went back again;
Told the doctor to send her his bill.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Since "Columbia" has gotten bigger.
Her new growth transcends brawn.
We trust she'll later on
Regain her allegorical figure.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0105
Who spends every weekend in Rio,
Where it's easy to find
Young girls who don't mind
His sticking his prick where they pee-o.
--- Michael Horgan
To mind Montezuma's famed walls,
Where Cortez and cronies,
Met men of cojones,
And were awed by their great baggy shawls.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0302
At the border town, Eagle Pass way.
Not much of a town,
By day flat and brown,
But at night Mexicans sure can play.
--- Tom Allen
On tequila with salt and some limes.
With the call of "Hey Meester,
Wanna play with my seester?
She now been a virgin twelve times."
--- Tom Allen
He said that he met you one morn,
And fill up with lust,
He told me I must
Give Carol a Texas long-horn."
--- Tiddy Ogg
To the tourist trade though they're a boon.
Kindergarteners, yet
Throngs of them board a jet,
To enjoy their Spring Break in Cancun.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0105
For the most creative of lies.
"A corrupt Mexico?"
How could we all know.
It comes as a total surprise.
--- David Martin
And companionship last year in Mex-
ico. "Why what's the catch?"
I said, fondling her snatch,
As my love-muscle started to flex.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And I hear from the editor, Ped-
ro, you're good; so I plead --
Please help us -- we need
You Aztec-nical expert", she said.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And she gave me a loving embrace
And she whispered, "Remember
My love this December;
Tijuana come back to my place?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I'd love to", and once again kissed her.
Chihuahua so good
As she fondled my wood;
Not surprising, I couldn't resist her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Of a Fund at Nahualt Toltec
Has denied that his needs
Are for Mexican beads.
Hualt please him? Nahuatl? A chec!
--- Clifton Fadiman P9804
Now that China commands the canal.
There is no doubt
That we've been sold out,
And our ships confined to one locale.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
She seemed to get bonier and bonier,
Then we tried aural sex,
It her hearing did vex
(She only had one - 'twas a lone ear).
--- Anon
The experience wouldn't behoove ya'.
When sliding some meat
At twelve thousand feet,
It takes two extra people to move ya'.
--- MrMalo
Rode a bike that was made of metal.
His coat was all shaggy;
His eyes were both baggy;
Pity the Popocatepetl.
--- Tom Patton P0207
But what does it matter to you
Where he's from, or the same
For the young fellow's name?
The question is, What did he do?
--- Laurence Perrine P8805
Whose bride came from Kalamazoo;
They were wed in Medina
By a bishop from China,
Who had come there from far Timbuktu.
--- Laurence Perrine P8805P
Tierra Del Fuego, grand land;
Not a true paradise,
Here withstand wind and ice.
Not so nice, daily weather not bland.
--- Joel D Ash P0504
Cruise ships sometimes venture a peek;
To seek penguins and seals,
Total whiteness conceals,
The South Pole midst thick ice so unique.
--- Joel D Ash P0504
Monstrous waves, roiling sea that is tough;
Stuff of legend and lore,
Awful thoughts, dream of shore,
Only once to explore, that's enough.
--- Joel D Ash P0504
Sea monsters with hunger voracious;
Fallacious assumption,
By sailors with gumption,
Brave captains who were so audacious.
--- Joel D Ash P0504
Chilly town where the bold all grow cold;
Manifold sights here found;
Patagonia bound;
A threshold for adventure untold.
--- Joel D Ash P0504
I have traveled from Moscow to Rome.
I have eaten pommes frites,
And I tried a French teat,
But the best are the girls from Stockholm.
--- Al Willis P9702
Oh my, what a spot that I'm in.
From Bonn to Bombay
I was carefree and gay,
And I haven't a pot to piss in.
--- Al Willis P9702
On my way back over today,
The border patrol
Fingered my hole;
Think I'll cross over each day!
--- Gearhart
The customs men told me to strip.
My ass they were feeling,
In case I was concealing
More shit that my cheeks could grip.
--- Funny Bone
'Cause from Texas I'm forced to depart.
But I will not grieve
'Cause us Texans believe
Such a move makes both places more smart.
--- John Miller 0165
We'll kick back with Scotch and Burgundy.
Fine photos we'll view.
Kate will give us a clue,
If we think they were shot in Burundi.
--- H Welchel
To fly in a jet aeroplane.
It's better, they've found,
To remain on the ground,
And travel by bus, car, or train.
--- Anon
Phoned a friend in a Honk Kong Disco.
"I'm sorry to state
I've broken our date;
This call's from a number in Frisco."
--- Tom Patton P9708
Is homeward transportation
From where you start
To where you part
With global circulation.
--- Lims Unlimited
When prowling around Martinique.
She cornered some guy,
Who'd caught her wide eye;
Now he's flying to see her next week.
--- Dick Hull
With enjoyment, good food and good booze.
For you, as a single,
Most times you will mingle.
If this is your joy, you can't lose.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
She's not off to Iceland or Spain,
But parts Indonesian,
For some crazy reason.
"Djakarta?" "No, she went by plane."
--- Tiddy Ogg
A storm settled in, cold and icy.
I spent four long days
In a hotel-bound haze,
And not one famous sight did I see.
--- Scott Oliver
To watch some young girls do the Can-Can.
But the fog was so thick,
That the girls couldn't kick,
For fear of assaulting a man-fan.
--- Scott Oliver
For some real sunny weather--no way.
'Cause the mud, it did slide
So I hunkered inside
Watching half of the coast melt away.
--- Scott Oliver
For a well-earned employment hiatus.
But it's cold on the deck;
Rain and wind sure as heck
And there' hail big as cherry tomatoes.
--- Scott Oliver
And go back to my home. I have found
You can run, but can't hide
From the storms or the tide.
We've got four feet of snow on the ground.
--- Scott Oliver
Just to see what misdeeds I could stir up.
"Know Jim Smith?" I was asked,
And in glory I basked,
"I've poetically beaten that cur up!"
--- Ward Hardman
An pervert who had plumbed old Jim's crater.
He complained, "It's so loose,
I damn near lost my shoes.
He's among all my conquests the nadir!"
--- Ward Hardman
I encountered a very fat eunuch.
He smiled at me wanly,
Lisped "Jim's much less manly,
Sprinkling women's cologne on his tunic."
--- Ward Hardman
We were all introduced to a sow.
Said the guide, "Jim Smith's Mum!
His old Dad was a bum,
But poor Jim is much lower, I'd vow."
--- Ward Hardman
A toothbrush, a comb for my locks
And a razor; OK,
Now I'm well on my way
And ... oh damn, I've forgotten my socks.
--- Anon
Should be heeded when tempted to roam.
Pay attention to it,
It's for your benefit:
Go first class or keep your ass home.
--- Warrick Elrod
Man; in underpants only I'm clad,
Chucking shirts in my case
And still shaving my face;
I'll be gone soon enough to Baghdad.
--- Anon
Who would wander around in a funk.
When I found him in Rome,
I sent him on home,
Packed up in an old steamer trunk.
--- Bob Birch P0302
As their guests stayed away. They're afraid.
From U.K. and the states
They're now making new dates;
The staffs hope now that they will be paid.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Made a trip to Japan in the fall.
One thing he found out,
As he rambled about,
Was that Japanese ladies St. Taul.
--- Ferdinand Christgau P9707a
Made a trip to seek Oriental pretties.
One thing he found out,
As he rambled about,
Was that Japanese broads have small titties.
--- Arthur Deex P9707
To the States by taxi, then ferry.
Then a ship and a train,
Plus a bus and a plane,
For a vacation on which he'll make Mary.
--- Anon
Said, "I've been to Hong Kong and Zaire,
To Queensland and Spain
And the Uruguay Plain,
But my favorite spot's Wigan Pier!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Where the women are built rather well
And the fish like to bite
In the morn and the night,
And they all enjoy a good swell.
--- Anon
Who took his vacation in June;
When asked, "Are you bound
For The Lake or The Sound?"
He answered unfailingly, "Schroon."
--- Limber Limericks