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It does not take any Brainiac A KLEPTOMANIAC steals, A KLELPTOMANIAC once fell in love; What fancy tales they can conceive, MYTHOMANIA filigree tells MYTHOMANIA, lies all assemble, (goddamned liars is what they are)
In defense of MYTHOMANIACS, That yearning for home, NOSTOMANIA, So Lassie was really big deal, Curious thoughts crowd the crania, The overwrought desire in female NYMPHOMANIA plagued Snow White; Urge to buy, ONIOMANIA, "The Devil made me buy that dress!" An ONIOMANIAC's wife An ONIOMANIC maid might test PYROMANIAC songsmith strung lyre THEOMANIA, as far as I see, THEOMANIC good reasoning lacks, The pull of TRICHOTILLOMANIA, Folks who practice TRICHOTILLOMANIA (second prize - two weeks in Philadelphia)
TRICHOTILLOMANIA's oft seen To ABDICATE, oh such despair! (Abdicate - to give up hope of ever having a flat stomach)
If you have ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT, (frantic dance after walking through spider web)
For Rogaine I'll pay good, cold cash; (balderdash - rapidly receding hairlne)
Not fair when a loud BEELZEBUG, (mosquito buzzing in bedroom in middle of the night)
The densest of dense-heads I've known, (dense stuff about stupid people's heads to stop ideas)
I can't stand the guy on this route, (Bustard - ill-mannered bus driver)
You may search the wide world over, (Carcinoma - valley in California, notable for heavy smog)
You've bought a new house, now furstration, (lack of money causes financial impotence)
CATERPALLOR, like feeling you're messed, (color you turn upon finding half a worm in fruit)
Hypo-chondriac Hall shunned all; (Coffee - person who is coughed upon)
Archie, I know I am thick, I totally agree Tid. Well said; For words I am truly esurient; [greedy] This epideictic little Miss, I've given up big words, I swear; Don't sing my death song just yet; When Jayne was just one and not two, When heavenly bodies collide, I drool from my mouth like I oughter, Triskaidekaphobia sucks; So Tony waxed nosopoetic; Inviting you girls for a ride, Though Travis has foreplay loquacious The loss of my favorite playmate Your absquatulation's been noted; Your schneckelpost's not in my hands; To avoid leaving much to bad chance, (stupid ideas seem smarter when they come at you rapidly)
When eating wherever one wishes, (eating place for abduction and experiment upon you)
To bean eaters there's no defense, (emergency vehicle for you after run over by steamroller)
"I don't need a condom, my dear; (lies about yourself which will lead to sex)
Said Popeye, "Your fun I won't spoil, (Gargoyle - olive-flavored mouthwash)
When Adam delighted in Eve, (bloody state of the world)
The citizens of our great nation, (euphoria at getting a tax refund)
Short visits from relatives win, (inability to get relatives to leave)
A knobble is kin to a knubble; Why thank you for taking the trouble If I knubble all night in the stubble If fathers aren't bursting my bubble, When my current affair turns to rubble I gather from your queried babble To knabble, you'll notice a grab'll Far be it from me, sir, to quibble, For catching the mess when you knibble, Any girl I can get to disrobe'll While pausing to check every pebble,
To understand a KLEPTOMANIAC.
But resulting trouble
Will always be double
For perpetrating such a zany act.
--- Daniel Ford
Usually not in need of meals,
Or basics just so,
But it's way to go,
Mainly for how good it feels.
--- Chris Papa
With his gal he was "hand-in-glove".
But when he stole her heart,
She would not do her part.
She became like a shrike, not a dove.
--- Barb
Now hoping that others believe,
A "little white lie",
"Cross heart, hope to die",
Such tangled webs they do weave.
--- Chris Papa
Of extra detail, which story sells.
Not seen as truthless
By salesman ruthless,
But considered as whistles and bells.
--- Daniel Ford
So there's no truth to resemble.
It describes in nice terms,
Despicable worms,
Those who are wont to dissemble.
--- Chris Papa
They simply refuse to let facts
Interfere in part
With the yarnspinner's art;
They're just switches for many odd tracks.
--- Steve O
Or youth spent in erotomania,
May reach fruition
In superstition
Or clerical sebastomania. (religious insanity)
--- Daniel Ford
Canine exploits quite unreal.
Could refrain-ia
From NOSTOMANIA,
Returning to home for a meal.
--- Chris Papa
When males must think on NYMPHOMANIA;
Think blessing or curse?
For better or worse,
Look up Oberon and Titania.
--- Chris Papa
Incites equal passion in free male,
For NYMPHOMANIA,
Like dipsomania,
Yields hope in the proimise of free tail.
--- Daniel Ford
Those dwarves suffered both day and night.
When Disney heard this,
He wrote in the kiss;
Saved the prince from a terrible plight.
--- Kitten
Like that which struck Queen Titania,
May make the payer
A nervous frayer
With bad trichotillomania. (urge to pull one's hair out)
--- Daniel Ford
No, 'twas ONIOMANIA, I confess.
When I pass a store,
I want more and still more,
While my savings become less and less.
--- Norm Brust
Sought some satisfaction in life
From running up bills,
Which brought her real thrills,
But made for much marital strife.
--- Chris Papa
Economic laws without rest,
But 'tis said the poor thing
Never had wedded fling,
For having an empty "Hope Chest".
--- Chris Papa
And thought of a tune to inspire.
He settled on this,
Midst great joy and bliss,
"Baby, won't you light my fire!"
--- Chris Papa
Is alive and thrives on TV.
Whether guy or gal,
They think they're God's pal;
And you can be too, for money!
--- Barb
Will not garner awards or plaques.
There are few around
And generally found
In psych wards in untidy stacks.
--- Chris Papa
Hairy as teeth from bruxomania,
Is outlet for nerves
And for many serves
As steel will against kleptomania.
--- Daniel Ford
Like to show the shape of their crania,
But viewing a skull
For me is as dull
As two weeks in Pennsylvania.
--- Norm Brust
As shaggy bald spots on the bean.
And no loose hairs found.
With kids, I'll be bound,
They swallow them just like cats preen.
--- Chris Papa
To fellow who loves lady fair,
Won't satisfy raunch,
With large flabby paunch.
Too bad he ate more than his share.
--- Arline Zatz
When spider's web has been hit,
Take my advice, please,
And stay right at ease,
It's sticky, but won't hurt a bit.
--- Chris Papa
I'm ready with my BALDERDASH.
With fuzz sprouting fine,
Great growth will be mine,
Now out for the big orgy bash!
--- Arline Zatz
Causes you pillow to hug.
But should you still hear,
That buzz in your ear,
You need to crawl under the rug.
--- Chris Papa
Are haloed by fog of Bozone.
You'll never get through,
Whatever you do,
They're inbred, as well as ingrown.
--- Chris Papa
Who gives me third finger salute,
That ill-mannered BUSTARD,
Just can't "cut the mustard",
And thinks that his crude ways are cute.
--- Arline Zatz
To find places healthy as clover,
Escape smog's aroma,
Flee from CARCINOMA,
And black lungs of old Smoky Stover.
--- Arline Zatz
Is replaced by a feel of CASHTRATION,
The place may be tempty,
But bank account empty,
Isn't a cause for elation.
--- Chris Papa
Is when you find a crawling guest,
In nice piece of fruit,
And though quite astute,
Have already begun to ingest.
--- Chris Papa
Eschewing what could cause his fall.
Much better off, he,
Avoided COFFEE,
And escaped the Grim Reaper's call.
--- Arline Zatz
But is it a liquidized dic-
Tionary your drinking,
Or are you just thinking
Up new words to make us all sick?
This is file kvl
Nonsensical words do my head.
As off I go lookin'
For another fuckin'
Word that's not there, I'll lose the thread!
--- Duke Dillon
The desire is practically prurient. [lustful]
I'm acataleptic; [incomprehensible]
I'm so epideictic; [showing off]
All of my friends think I'm abderiant. [foolish]
--- Kiss Karen
Who I could so pruriently kiss
Cunnilingually;
Her reciprocity
Fellation! Oh Heavens! What bliss!
--- Duke Dillon
That tongue though, well what could compare.
Kiss me my dear,
Here, here and here,
And kiss me again way up there.
--- Kiss Karen
I'm feeling much better. I've set
My big dictonary
Way way and very
Out of reach (don't make a bet...)
--- Kiss karen
And Lucy, as always--whew!
On a main Glasgow street
They happened to meet,
And gave a synodical view.
--- Archie
Archie gets all starry eyed.
His knees deliquesce
He drools. It's a mess
(Oh horrid man!... Makes me backslide!)
--- Kiss Karen
But see you? My knees go to water.
But this lim's otoise
Shouldn't be making this noise.
You'll be in St Croix till the autu(mn).
--- Archie
I've counted up all of my fucks.
A dozen I've reached.
There's a wall I've not breached;
On one after twelve, terror struck!
--- Anthony G Simmons
With five lines he wrote down his epic.
Though Ericka is nice,
Sis Chris in a trice,
May force down his throat an emetic!
--- Archie
What do Trav and Pete try to hide?
When they offer lasses
Carnality classes--
They only commit barmecide.
--- Archie
And hands out some bouquets herbaceous,
The truth is not sung
Of the way he is hung,
And the fact that his member's limaceous.
--- Archie
Caused all my brain cells to stagnate.
I once thought quite fast,
But that time is past.
No play made poor Arch hebetate.
--- Archie
Just where in the world have you floated?
Some place in the sun?
With plenty of fun--
And your bank balance is now ungroated?
--- Archie
I left the Westralian sands.
I have ambulated;
I'm now other-Stated;
And live where the opera house stands.
--- Archie
When you're an idea to advance,
It may soon be wrecked
By DOPELAR EFFECT;
You must basic reason enhance.
--- Chris Papa
Avoid ET-ry and its dishes. (also called extraterrestaurant)
And home try to phone,
From inside of spaceship's knishes.
--- Chris Papa
To escape the sadness immense,
Of being well sated,
And quite well inflated,
Then squashed, and fit for FLATULENCE.
--- Arline Zatz
It feels good, there's nothing to fear."
That FOREPLOY at work,
Which good girls must shirk,
If from deadly AIDS they'd stay clear.
--- Chris Papa
As down on your knees, there, you toil.
The President's next,
Make sure he's not vexed.
Just rinse well with that there GARGOYLE."
--- Arline Zatz
Although he was led to believe
He'd always be happy,
He soon felt quite sappy;
Hemaglobe, each month he'd receive.
--- Chris Papa
If lucky, get INTAXICATION,
San's interest of course,
The Feds have the force,
To theft, no exaggeration.
--- Chris Papa
Approval, from those who would spin,
And move them right out,
If they stay about,
Then bad KINSTIRPATION's set in.
--- Chris Papa
In Dixie where guys who're called Bub'll
Commence a quick diddle
Just south of the middle
On chicks who have twattle-fuzz stubble.
--- Travis Brasell
To enlighten on knobble and knubble.
Will a featherbed do
For a knobble or two,
Or maybe a table or tub'll.
--- John Miller
With girls that I do on the double,
Will fathers come by
And just wink their eye,
Or get my ass into more trouble.
--- John Miller
Then creatures we find in the shrub'll.
If a tick on my prick
Cannot make me sick,
Then eating that damn Dixie grub'll.
--- John Miller
And I'm searching for ladies to knubble,
Will a simple spy-glass
Find a suitable lass,
Or must I get some time on the Hubble?
--- John Miller
That your knubble will link to a knablle;
Well, if this is the case,
And she sits on your face,
Then a tongue dip will do or a dab'll.
--- Travis Brasell
Be needed because when you dabble
The twat of a lass,
You must grab her ass,
Or she'll speed away just like a cab'll.
--- Travis Brasell
But shouldn't that knabble be knibble?
A knabble is fine
For a ewe or a swine,
But for girls? The mere thought makes me dribble!
--- John Miller
A towel will do, or a bib'll;
But the mess from a knabble
Stops even the rabble
Who'll lynch you (or else women's lib'll!)
--- John Miller
Be good for at least a quick knoble,
For once in the nude,
The snootiest prude
That you find anywhere on the globe'll.
--- John Miller
I note we have not addressed knebble.
So vile and depraved,
My minister raved,
"Dat's surely de work of de Debble!"
--- John Miller
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