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With residents starting to frown, A North Dakota town, Cannonball, Should we call this great state DAKOTA? A student could not understand That he loved Cincinnati, it's true. (OH) A Hoosier from tiny Gnaw Bone In Ohio, the town of Blue Ball, There is a state called Oklahoma Daylight Savings Time puts me to the test; After two days my wife said, "I'm leery, Said two randy young people named Day, This friend that I knew would guffaw A Pennsylvania town, Intercourse, An itchy-hipped hussy named Jane I've a neat little place, a retreat There was an old man from North Platte I'm really glad I don't live here, On Tuesday July twenty seven, She sold seashells, down by the seashore, There was an old woman from Babbitt There's a town in West V -- Pickle Street. In the West Virginia village, Alloy, A town in West Virginia's called Mud; A mountaineer lassie named Scudder A young Mountaineer christened Todd, A West Virginia village called War, In Wisconsin, there's cheese and pigs, It's so cold in Wisconsin, they say, To live in the U S of A In that fun-loving state, California, Said two withered old maids of Columbus, In California locals hate An old beggar in Twentynine Palms California's energy crisis' is sick, Some attribute Cal's energy crisis Many Golden State folks are suspicious, A gymnast related some things An ad in the Hollywood Hills I got a job on Treasure Island The next job was on Angel Island, Finally I did Alcatraz; I, to the whole world resonate, Anaheim's magical spot A New Yorker who moved To L.A. Said a girl from L.A., California, A whiz-kid who worked at Los Gatos Los Gatos translates as 'The Cats'-- The town that's named Spanish for "cats," I hope you won't think me perverse (on limerick motto for city of Los Gatos, California)
A computer dork in Mountain View A young girl named Phyllis from Oroville A writer who fled Sacramento San Diego, I gather, you rate, San Fran is a city that's fair; A tech whiz in San Jose, A programmer of San Jose South central LA, I have heard, A tech-head from South Saratoga, In Santa Cruz most of the dudes A technician in Sunnyvale A technician in old Sunnyvale California outpaces the nation There's an Accident in Maryland, My mobile home, 'twas made of wood, The beaches of 'Bama are best, Alabamians talk like we's poor; Your limerick has caused me to gawk,
It's become quite a place of renown.
Incontinent folk,
Whose plight is no joke,
Say Leaksville sounds like their kind of town!
--- John Slim Lim Gazet P0608
Where they hardly have summer at all.
In the winter there's sleet,
And snow-frozen feet,
Plus a very short spring and brief fall.
--- William K Alsop Jr
I'm sure I don't care one iota.
For removing the NORTH
Will not bring summer forth.
Of warmth, we don't have a big quota!
--- John Dohner P8911
Why the Back Bay is nothing but land.
Why the North End is down
To the south of Charlestown,
Or the East End's above Mattapan.
--- Bad Boy Beacon St P0608
Most folks from that prim city do.
But his reason was that he
Esteemed Cincinnati
Was best place to sin sin that he knew.
--- Laurence Perrine P8805
Was heard to bitch and to moan:
"I hate it out here
In this atmosphere,
And I can tell you, I'm not alone."
--- William K Alsop Jr
Was always so terribly small.
But it did survive
Until I-75, (federal highway)
When it became no town at all.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Where comes such a distinct aroma;
What could it be
Is totally beyond me,
But it could be buffalo bologna.
--- Anon
To recite that old rhyme is my quest.
Fall short, spring ahead,
Turn back, well instead
I'll just move one time zone to the west!
--- Turnberry
I've not seen a city more dreary --
All the ore piled in heaps --
This place gives me the creeps."
"I know," I said, "Sweetheart, it's Erie." (PA)
--- Bob Giandomenico P8805
"Pennsylvania's where we've gone to play.
'Virginia's for Lovers'
Say the travel book covers,
But they've got Intercourse in PA," (PA)
--- Bob Giandomenico P8805
When his aunts and his sisters and Ma
Would evasively say
"We're from Lancaster way --"
(They were really from Intercourse, Pa.)
--- Keith MacMillan A101D
Where buggies are drawn by a horse,
The men grow a beard;
Their clothing is weird;
And there's no make-up on women, of course!
--- William K Alsop Jr
Hitchhiked from Vancouver to Maine.
The whole Santa Fe Trail,
She paid for in tail,
Before resting her messy membrane!
--- Grand Prix Lim 943 G0660
Where we all can come talk, play and eat.
It's only twelve hills,
Quite simple, no frills.
But there's room enough there for ten fleets.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8604
Who never knew where he was at;
When asked where he was,
He made a loud buzz,
And a hornet flew out of his hat.
--- Lims Unlimited
I think all the men folk are queer.
There's more than the quota
In cold South Dakota;
I will not be known as their Pierre.
--- Anon
Just two pages after eleven,
"Let your meat stop your mouth"
Never heard in the south;
Are northerners really that heathen?
--- Anon
Burgers, fries and a little bit more.
She raked in the loot,
And a husband to boot.
So they went to the mountains for more.
--- Silva S Crockett P0102
Who had a peculiar habit:
When she ran out of coal,
She dug a big hole
And lived underground like a rabbit.
--- Lims Unlimited
When the villagers there chance to meet,
They say, "Good morning sour puss,"
And "Good morning you wuss,"
And that makes their day quite complete.
--- Arthur Deex
Lived a boy his parents called Roy.
This family had means;
They never wore jeans.
They were not of the hoi-polloi.
--- William K Alsop Jr
As a name for a town, it's a dud.
One could do better,
And stick to the letter;
For instance, you could call it Rosebud.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Equipped her behind with a rudder;
"It isn't just trimming,"
She said, "or for swimming.
I have to steer clear of my brudder."
--- Lims Unlimited
Who lived in the small town of Sod;
Population 50 and countin'
At the foot of a mountain,
Sod's nearest neighbor is Odd. (WV)
--- William K Alsop Jr
Population four hundred and four;
They rattle their sabers
And fight with their neighbors,
As they attempt to even the score.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Tractors and trailers and rigs,
Green grass galore,
And bars by the score,
Where you can find beer and pigs.
--- Jeff Kurfess
That words will freeze on their way,
From the lips to the ear,
In the air, crisp and clear,
To be heard when they thaw out in May.
--- William D. Jenkins P9202
Is a wonderful privilige today.
But examples are legion
Of a less pleasant region,
Where the good old U S holds its sway!
--- Beelzebub
All the folks are undoubtedly hornia.
Not even the dead
Can be trusted in bed --
Which is simply to say that I'm warnia.
--- Hugh Oliver A019A
"We find ourselves here on this dumb bus,
Moving toward California
Where the men are much hornier
And where surely somebody will plumb us."
--- Isaac Asimov
How tourists mispronounce their State.
Califhornier
Caliphonier
And sometimes Californicate.
--- Irving Superior P8709
Reclined in their shade, begging alms;
When a cocoanut fell
On his head, he said, "Hell!"
And then he sang twenty-nine psalms.
--- Lims Unlimited
This is file ktm
Air conditioning is not too slick,
Soak up sweat with a blotter,
'Cause it's gonna get hotter
Than a bride on a down feather tick!
--- Anon
To deregulation of prices.
But industry rooters
Blame all those computers,
And other newfangled devices.
--- Dr Limerick
That computers with hunger voracious
For everyone's voltage,
Caused the big power shortage,
Which might make Intel's timing propitious.
--- Dr Limerick
From the West Coast to show how it swings --
First going to a disco
Up in San Francisco,
And afterward doing Palm Springs. (CA)
--- Bob Giandomenico P8805
Touted a cure for all ills.
The city's reply
Was in letters sky-high,
On their own sign that read Boast No Pills
--- Arthur Deex P0007
Reclaiming the bay, sinking pylons
The bottom,s foul brine
Affected my mind
So I have a permanent smile on
--- Anon
Building a house upon the steep sand.
One day it gave way
And slid into the bay,
Where the wreckage and bay's hand-in-hand.
--- Anon
The results were no better than last.
They called me a jerk
I said "Screw this work",
And went back to improvised jazz.
--- Anon
From Americas United States,
From far in the West,
The place it's the best;
California's where I locate.
--- Anon
Is the masterpiece Walt Disney wrought.
It's got pirates and ghosts
And some mouse-costumed hosts,
But the Berry Farm's much better -- Knott!
--- Larry Hollister
On occasion was prompted to say
That if he had guessed
How debauched was the West,
He would not be committed to stay.
--- JB A020D
"Yes the family really was bornia,
'Cause our mum, being shrewd,
Went a lot in the nude,
Making Daddy unsettled and hornia."
--- Keith MacMillan A022A
Would woo girls with more than just pathos.
Though to please he was eager,
Trouser portion was meagre,
So he lives like the monks on Mount Athos.
--- Ulla
It's a town full of cools, heps, and fats.
Limericks need permission
From a Los Gatos Commission?
Then a pox on those vile bureaucrats.
--- James M Menger P9310
Los Gatos, with no caveats,
Has it made in the shade,
When all factors are weighed,
As the best of the world's habitats.
--- John Sandler P9311
To suggest that the town could do worse
Than be touted in rhyme
In a limerick, sublime,
Since its benefit would be ad/verse.
--- John Sandler P9311
Had a girlfriend he wanted to screw.
He said, "I am torn
Twixt your fine nubile form
And the latest in Gaming Review.
--- CM
Used oodles of breath mints and chlorophyll.
But her boyfriend was fickle,
Just one garlic pickle
Convinced him he wouldn't see more of Phyl.
--- John E Mayhood P9805a
Escaped with an author-signed cento.
And that valuable book
Was the sole thing he took
As his lone California memento.
--- Cap'n bean P0202
As city that is really GREAT.
A quite modest boast
From one on Left Coast;
I've heard same about Golden Gate.
--- Chris Papa
I'd move, for the bread that is there.
Except that its folks
Are weird beyond jokes,
I'd think I'll stay in Jersey lair.
--- Chris Papa
Would scan the screen every day,
Reading personal ads,
To find lasses and lads
Who with love could show him the way!
--- CM
Would coat screen with porn and then say
"A real live lass
Is a pain in the ass.
I'll make love in the virtual way."
--- Pat Powers
Is a place where your loins you must gird.
A place that's so tough,
That one gun ain't enough,
And mother is just half a word.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508
Had sex with himself doing yoga.
Said he: "These contortions
Avail to me portions
That are normally under my toga."
--- Murphy
Thrive on organicly grown foods.
But the booze that they've got,
Not to mention the pot,
That explains their strange attitudes.
--- Lynn Mostafa
Thought he would always prevail;
With tech was a shiz,
But he flopped with the Ms.;
At lovemaking he'd always fail.
--- CM
Could seduce as he wished without fail.
He said, "My pay sucks;
I could go for big bucks."
And now he's the VP of sales.
--- Pat Powers
In adopting cool new innovation.
But now rolling brownouts
Are raising some doubts,
'Bout utility deregulation.
--- Election 2000
I'm sure you do not understand.
Not an aeroplane crash,
Or a two auto bash,
It's a place name that should have been banned.
--- Thomas Ratliff P0308
And inhabitable, and therefore no good.
The water got in,
Rotted it from within,
And I took care of wherever I stood.
--- Anon
Much more beautiful than all the rest.
Miles of sand, silky white,
Under skies blue and bright,
And the women expose their fine breast.
--- Travis Brasell
We is eatin' each crumb from the floor.
When pot bellies thunder,
We all starts to wonder
If Mom'n them's gone to the store.
--- Jodi B
'Cause I thought you were upper New Yawk.
Brasell is the foreigner
Who lives down a corner
Of 'Bama, with drawls in his tawk.
--- Travis Brasell
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