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Yes, the answer is clear as a sieve,
And credit to Ward I must give,
But Tiddy's odd clue
Was awarded it's due:
Ms Leigh was an actress named Viv.
(Tom Stearns Eliot's wife also)
I've sails but I ply not the seas; I sat in my chair, poured a drink, The stones are for grinding and such; I hoped I would sow some confusion; With five, I'll be known to a hound; Like that little old hound, I'm on the SCENT Ab, ad, aa, ag, ah, ae, am, ai, I'm with letters of seven, a word All REGULAR words I did mull, On a scaur sat an ivory herring gull From his roost way up in the sky I do hope that skiff's not on fire, That word was a bit too obscure. Though some may think him a rock star, My Ermintrude, though I adore her, I'd be gentle, if only I knew Contemplation has brought me, too, woe. I, too, have come up undone. But then, OTOH, thinkin', (on the other hand) The answer's discovered, no doubt, See my first when the scalpel's applied, Contortionless brainpower involved; A canner, exceedingly canny, This was heard by his candid girl, Fanny, Bishop Tutu toot-tooted, at Crewe, As Bostonian say, in 'Calcutter', A canner's can-canny son, Danny, Candy sugar be good for me. Diddy tell us we can suck his prick; There was a young fellow named Fisher, A foolhardy midget named Fisher There once was a bonnie Scots laddie, Hattie told us that he'd been sinnin', This gramophone needle won't move; Kitty's boyfriend, Bill, knocked up the cat A keeper who worked at the zoo, A certain young chap named Bill Beebee, An elderly psychic was sick, There's a lady I knew in Calcutta, A tutor who tooted the flute, A gangster who also taught flute, Wendy cold winter nights now grow long, Willie lie? Will the Senate see red? No woodsman would cut a wood, would he, Whatever will rhyme with Summer? My mind's getting glummer and glummer. Ah! If the bee hums, it's a hummer; The cuckooo's a goer and comer. A fellow from Grantham called Titus, Maybe Mayor Mabel made money in May While farty old Marty had joked A duncy old man with a comb A visual poet was suave A Mexican family whose I find that I'm rolling in mirth Pray search this wide land with a glimmer stick As my hair turns from silver to white, Twin sisters, named Coral and Carol, We've got a new maid called Chrysanthemum There was an old lady named Bryde, A commodities man and insider, Now "clerk", so said Webster, the berk, This pronunciational hunt I asked a young lady in Dallas I don't care for cigars, a jet-setter, a A few flue-fleas fleeing a flue
--- Hugh Clary
I've stones, but in no kidneys these.
What am I then, hey?
As Dylan might say,
"The answer is blowin' in the breeze."
--- Tiddy Ogg
And got all my brainwaves in sync.
While engaged in swill,
I thought of a "mill",
Which must be the answer, I think.
--- Observer
The sails provide wind power, much?
Fits that Dylan song,
So Tid, if I'm wrong,
Then let's blame it all on the Dutch.
--- Observer
Observer though, reached a conclusion,
That grinders of flour
With natural power
Is right -- and that's the solution.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Beheaded, the very same sound;
If my first then is switched
With the letter just ditched,
The identical sound still is found.
--- Hugh Clary
And though it won't earn me a CENT,
The answer came quick
To this old country hick,
Which, I hope, I'm the first to have SENT.
--- Hugh Clary
Al, an, ar, as, at, aw, ax and ay
Is the list of the two
Letter A-words that you
Better know if at Scrabble you vie.
--- Anon
That often with standard is heard;
Beheaded: the rear;
Again: I'm severe;
And with four, I'm a kind of a bird.
--- Hugh Clary
Which left me near out of my skull,
For clues left me muddled
And clearly befuddled,
Till yonder, I spotted a Gull!
--- Observer
And scanned the bright sight with eye clinical...
What did she see,
From her post by the sea?
It rhymes with her windswept rock "pinnacle".
--- Tutta Gioia
Just what did our seagull descry?
And perched on his cliff,
It was just a skiff
He spied with his seagully eye!
--- Archie
'Cause what the gull saw was a pyre...
Spied from his pinnacle
A glowing bright shinicle,
A bonfire that lit up the shire.
--- Archie
In OED? I'm not sure...
Same root as "shine",
So it worked out just fine,
And in olden days had allure.
--- Archie
To others, that notion's bizarre,
And though he came forth,
In a place south and north,
There he's still above most folks, by far!
--- Observer
Of riddles is quite an abhorer.
And flummoxed we be
By this thing set by thee.
Perhaps some old polar explorer?
--- Tiddy Ogg
The answer, but woe! And boo-hoo!
Though long I have pondered,
My efforts were squandered,
Since really, I haven't a clue.
--- Hugh Clary
And no seed of an answer will sow;
I'm going to come clean
And then say what I mean --
That, really, I'm fooled if I know.
--- Jester Jon
You've posed us a good one, old son!
Unless you encode a
Trip to South Dakota,
And the answer is Geo. Washington.
--- Cyber Wizard
The answer I've given is stinkin'.
The fourth in that place
Some thought a disgrace,
Though he's given humanity linkin'.
--- Cyber Wizard
And Cyber deservs a big shout...
Kudos to the rest,
But he was the best,
'Cause he went and figured it out!
--- Observer
In my final, a pronoun is spied;
My middle is meant
To be readily bent;
And my all, like a serpent, can slide.
--- Anon
At last here is one I have solved.
I won't answer here
For others to cheer,
But flaming was also devolved.
--- Anon
One morning remarked to his granny,
"A canner can can
Anything that he can,
But a canner can't can a can, can he?"
--- Carolyn Wells
Who said, "Do you refer to my cranny?
No can-can for a man
Who can't can my can,
His perfromance would be too uncanny."
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8503
His own two o'clock Tutu To-do.
Aware he loved trains,
Bemused drivers took pains
To toot-toot Tutu, too to 2:02.
--- David A Brooks
Lives a man with a terrible stutter.
When he asks for the bread,
They will pass him instead:
Beer, broccoli, beans, and the butter.
--- Anon
Annoyingly announced to his Granny,
No canner can can,
No can-canner can,
For no canner can can a can, can he?
--- David A Brooks
Candy sweets be enough for three.
Candy doctor say
Candy be a way
Randy lab tests so doc could see.
--- Marty
Diddy tell us some lims make him sick;
Diddy tell us much more;
Diddy show he's a bore;
Diddy show he's worth given a kick?
--- MrMalo
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure.
Then a cod with a grin
Pulled the fisherman in,
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
--- Anon
Stuck his digit in the Fat Lady's fissure.
But her labial snap
Caught him in a trap;
And they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who said as he put on his plaidie:
"I've just had a dish,
O' unco' guid fish."
What had he had? Had he had haddie?
--- Anon
This is file kpl
Hattie 'fessed up, he would be winnin'.
Hattie told us she blows;
Hattie lied? Who knows.
Hattie wiped off her dress, he'd be grinnin'!
--- MrMalo
It appears to be stuck in a groove -
In a groove - in a groove -
In a groove - in a groove -
In a groove - in a groove - in a groove -
--- Anon
Of her daughter, a six-year-old brat,
Who sold tickets to see
What the offspring would be.
Kitty's kiddy's kiddy-kitty kitty quickly grew fat.
--- John Miller
Received a new gnu to see to.
He said, "That's the gnu
That I knew in Bellevue.
I knew that I knew that new gnu."
--- Frank Richards
Was in love with a lady named Phoebe.
"But," said he, "I must see
What the clerical fee
Be before Phoebe be Phoebe B. Beebee."
--- Anon
So she hired an assistant called Rick,
Who was good with his feet.
Nobody could beat
That sick psychic's sidekick's side kick.
--- Anon
Who spoke with a very slight stutter.
Her impediment
Was delightful, it lent
Such charm when she'd utter "B-butter."
--- Kevin Hale Q
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor.
"Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?"
--- Carolyn Wells
Once tutored a tooter to shot.
Said the shooter to tutor,
It's, tutor, astuter
To tutor toot-tooters to toot.
--- David A Brooks
Wendy north winds are blowing so strong,
Wendy icicles grow,
Wendy air's fill with snow,
Thendy robin goes bobbin' along.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Willie alter the case that he's pled?
Willie temper his mien?
Willie ever come clean?
Betty curries our favor instead.
--- Mike
If woods would be woodless nor should he.
Yet no woodsman would
Cut a woody-wood wood,
If no woodsman cut woody woods, would he.
--- David A Brooks
There is only 'plumber' and 'drummer'.
Why! The cleverest bard
Would find it quite hard
To connect with the Summer -- a plumber!
--- John Betjeman
Hooray! There's a word besides drummer;
Oh, I will think of some
Ere the prep's end has come,
But the rhymes will get rummer and rummer.
--- John Betjeman
And the bee showeth signs of the Summer;
Also holiday babels
Make the porter gum labels,
And whatever he gums, he's a gummer!
--- John Betjeman
He goes in the hot days of Summer;
But he cucks every day
Till you plead and you pray
That his voice will get dumber and dumber.
--- John Betjeman
A boon to all limerick writers;
The number of times
His name could make rhymes,
Was practically ad infinitus.
--- Michael Palin P8603
By marrying mangy monkeys in Marseilles.
Matrimony, then cheese macaroni,
Macrame cake with Chinese spumoni,
Maybe Mabel the Mayor danced a ballet.
--- Lynn Mostafa
To Artie how Bertie had croaked
From gagging on soup
And raw canteloupe,
Poor Artie on artichokes choked.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Wrote visual rhymes that did bomb.
He believed hard that Lord
Was a good rhyme for word,
And he carried that faith to his tomb.
--- Anon
And ignored all the flows his rhymes have.
He believed hard that come
Really sounded like home,
And he carried that faith to his grave.
--- Anon
Rhymes were more visual that those,
Even though they were rough,
They still made lots of dough
Of the poems what were penned by Jose.
--- Anon
To think that there might be on Earth
A word that is worth
My rhyming with birth.
Except maybe pregnancy's girth.
--- Naomi J Kahn
For there must be some lad at his primer quick,
Who when pressed can supply
A lot better than I
An acceptable rhyme scheme for 'LIMERICK'
--- Elmo Calkins
There's one rhyme I do not have, quite.
This hoary old bard
Is finding it hard
Rhyming "silver" and getting it right.
--- Anon
Were laid out in their finest apparel.
Their life had been moral;
For Carol a chorale
Was sung, and for Coral, a carol.
--- Verbatim, Lang Quart 1990A
Who said, "I have just come from Grantham, mum.
I lost my last place
In the sorriest disgrace,
When I snored through the National Anthem, mum."
--- Anon
Who ate a green apple and died.
The apple fermented
Inside the lamented,
And made cider inside her inside.
--- Anon
Chose to learn from this gal, not deride her.
'Stead of formaldehyde
He juiced those who died,
Gaining wealth as a cider provider
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Should be, by the Yanks spoken "clurk."
But Brits call it "clark",
To rhyme well with "shark",
So I'll say the word just as I lurk.
--- Anon
Is boring, so let me be blunt.
If you say it "clurk",
The name of that jerk
Called Superman's really Clurk Kunt.
--- Anon
To give me a new rhyme for Alice,
And showing a dimple,
She said, "It's so simple!
Just separate digi from talis."
--- Lims Unlimited
Cheat, a perpetual fretter, a
Pen that won't work,
A bigoted jerk,
A laugh track, a suffed shirt, et cetera.
--- Cyd
Met a blue food-fly fleeing it too.
The few fleeing flue-fleas
Said, "Foo! Food-fly, shoo please!"
Which few foo'd blue food-flies will do.
--- Lims Unlimited
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