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One sunny day, Jack said to Jill, Jack and Jill climbed that hill as they oughter; Jack and Jill went up the hill, Jack and Jill sought out their thrill, Jill thought, "Now that hill is a SCHLEP. I then fought with Jill for her Jack; Jill said to Jack, "Understand A young couple by name Jack and Jill There is water, of course, in a rill, Old Jack chased young Jill, a friend's daughter, "Jack and Jill," many cynics here say, Little Jack was a close friend of Jill. It's been nine months since Jack visited Jill, Poor Jill and her daughter now weep; Jack didn't get far with Bo Peep, When Jack ran his tongue over Jill, Jack and Jill went up the hill; Young Jack had a SOCKDOLAGER day, At the lake's edge they stood hand in hand; She bends down, and up her skirt flies, That first verse was full of romance, He's seen it and now wants to fuck it; From his head now the blood was a-leaking; Now Jill, as such young ladies often All afternoon he was up her; That vinegar Jill also used, So children, that must fill the bill. The story is old, but don't chuck it; Jack and Jill went up the hill A woman named Jill, who was pretty, Old Dame Dob had put Jill in a huff. A woebegone maiden named Jill, Jack and Jill went up the hill (in Ellery Queen Magazine)
Fellating her workman was very Well planted, her gardener grew Soon those pretty maids had his head ringing, There is this small man, short and hairy; We treat Mary (of unknown locality) Mary once had had a little lamb, Mary, she had a lamb little; Mary's pet was a lamb that was white. Sweet Mary likes to be the boss, When her father arrived from East Surrey, So how does your garden grow, Mary? Mistress Mary, who was very contrary, All else Mistress Mary forsook Mary, Mary, quite contrary, We know now why Mary's contrary; There once was a cockroach named archy, I also attest and do tell Archie's my buddy the roach. Paul Bunyan, Babe's owner of lore, Bugs Bunny no longer says, "What's up doc?" When Bugs Bunny refers to MAROON, The incomparable rabbit Bugs Bunny In the land of the Bumbley Boo In the land of the Bumbley Boo In the land of the Bumbley Boo Oh! The Bumbley Boo! The Bumbley Boo! There once was a little old Rat; The Bat, who was slightly insane, When tipsy, the rattle-brained Rat Right when the Bat staggered next door, You must try to forget the Cat; Something snapped in Bat's brain that day; These rats and bats and voles,
"Hey, let's get a pail we can fill."
"Then", Jill said, "When done,
We can both have some fun,
And take a quick roll down the hill."
--- Evyln Bogen
They each had a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with a laugh,
And two and a half;
They didn't go up there for water!
--- John Miller 0047
And in the air there was a chill.
Her nips stood firm,
And she did squirm,
Then Jack her iron will did kill.
--- Ogni Gioia
As Jill said, "Jack! You fit the bill!
But please confirm...
Conserve your sperm.
I'll love you for your pacing skill"
--- Ogni Gioia
But I know young Jack has the pep
To help me with pail,
If he thinks that tail
Is reward for his gallant step."
--- Chris Papa
With her pail I gave her a sound smack.
She rolled down the hill,
While we had our fill
Of sweet loving till she stumbled back.
--- Jeanie
This safety device I have planned.
When we're on that hill trip,
And you start to slip,
Remember -- let go of my hand!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Walked quickly up a steep hill.
When they got to the peak
They were both feeling weak,
They had to have a bloody big pill.
--- Etio and Physio Lim P0206
But I doubt at the top of a hill;
There was some kind of rumble
When Jack took a tumble,
And he probably tumbled for Jill.
--- Lims Unlimited
Way up on the hill, where he caught her.
She put down the pail
And wiggled her tail.
He pumped her instead of the water.
--- David Miller
"Climbed the hill for a roll in the hay."
But that isn't true;
There wasn't a screw.
Jill said, "Let's," but dear Jack is quite gay.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0208
She told him she was taking the pill.
It was then he taught her
To forget the water;
Spread her legs and then gave her a thrill.
--- Tom Patton P0208
Who lives way over the hill.
Jill did spill her water,
And birthed a daughter.
She's now on the birth control pill.
--- Jillian
Jack's nowhere around now, that creep!
I've heard around town,
He's out running around
With that hussy, Little Bo Peep!
--- Kaylin
Once in bed there she went straight to sleep.
So in his frustration
To his ministrations,
He went out and buggered her sheep.
--- Tiddy Ogg
As she lay on her back, on the hill,
Abandoning shame,
She shrieked when she came;
Her bold exclamations were shrill.
--- Cap'n Bean P0208
Both wanted a great big thrill.
Jack fell down
And broke Jill's crown.
Who will pay her dental bill.
--- Gearhart
When he and Jill climbed up to play,
And once at the top,
With no one to stop
Them, had a good roll in the hay.
--- Chris Papa
From the hill-top the view it was grand.
The girl took the pail,
From her escorting male,
Dipped it into the water as planned.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And Jack can't believe his young eyes.
That secret delight
Brings his dick to it's height,
And his hand reaches out for her thighs.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But now randy Jack takes his chance.
Without more ado,
Really wanting a screw,
That fellow pulls down Jilly's pants.
--- Tiddy Ogg
He gropes at his zip but it's stuck; it
Won't free his pants,
And Jill takes her chance,
And hits the poor sap with the bucket.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Dumbfounded, he lay without speaking.
He just got a fumble,
And then had a tumble,
But not quite the kind he'd been seeking.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Do, at his hard-on did soften.
She soon loosed his zip,
And on it did slip,
And soon they were happily boffin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Then they went to the chippie for supper.
Bought cod and french fries,
With vinegar, twice,
All tied in a brown paper wrapper.
--- Tiddy Ogg
To clean up Jack's head - so contused.
'Twas a good antiseptic,
And quite contraceptic;
So with it her pussy she sluiced.
--- Tiddy Ogg
That's the true tale of Jack and of Jill;
Thus pleasure and pain,
Are combined once again,
But they'll always remember the thrill.
--- Tiddy Ogg
At least it's a tale 'bout a bucket
That's managed to go,
Nine verses or so,
Without that damned man from Nantucket.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass,
And now two of his front teeth are missing.
--- Anon
Took her boyfriend named Jack, from the city,
To the top of the hill
In the cool evening's chill,
Where she warmed him up with some titty.
--- Cap'n Bean P0208
And so Jill told her Jack, "That's enough!
When I smell that old vinegar
I can tell that you've been with her.
The broad douches all day with the stuff."
--- Don Moore P0208
Sat with overturned pail on a hill.
Alas and alack,
She lost partner Jack,
So VISA then sent her a "BILL".
--- Barb
To smoke a bit of leaf.
Jack got high,
Unzipped his fly,
And Jill yelled, "Where's the beef?"
--- Mark Grenier P9108
This is file kkm
Distasteful for squeamish Miss Mary.
He switched the agenda
And poked her pudenda,
Which made her not quite so contrary.
--- Randog
And she told him, "I've great news for you:
If that big cock'll shell
Out sweet nectar, as well,
You can feed those maids all in a queue."
--- Randog
Like silver bells as he was flinging
His seed down their throats,
While he sewed his wild oats,
Doing what? Horticultural swinging!
--- Randog
We will just call him Larry.
When he sees his maw,
He lets out a BAAAAA;
This is proof that the lamb had Mary.
--- Debnric
And her lamb without proper formality.
Let me ask: Do we view
A young ram or a ewe?
Just pure Love? Or a budding bestiality?
--- Isaac Asimov
About which she did not give a damn.
Following her to school;
She beat it with her rule,
And cried out: "I want you to scram!"
--- William K Alsop Jr
Its bones were quite fragile and brittle.
Except at the rear,
The one she loved dear;
She'd stroke it until it would spittle.
--- Rick Limer T9711
It was with her all day and all night.
It went with her to school
And was good, as a rule.
The children like this unusual sight.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
But lambsey did not give a toss.
Soon he'll be in
The nice roasting tin,
Served up in a tray with mint sauce.
--- Jayne
Mary thought that she'd make a lamb currey;
But her cooking's so bad
That it made dad feel bad,
And he barfed up the lot in a hurry.
--- Tiddy Ogg
It certainly seems you're contrary;
Your pussy-lips sweet
Are now naked and neat,
But by Saturday night they'll be hairy.
--- Anon
Once lusted for a huckleberry.
Her wish had no reason;
'Twas not berry season,
So she watched some Curly, Moe, and Larry.
--- William K Alsop Jr
To find how her garden did look;
Lovely maidens were there,
Silver bells to compare.
And shells crammed into corner nook.
--- Hilde na Beag
How does your waistline grow.
It is no joke,
But a persuasive bloke
Wouldn't let me to say no.
--- Al Lichtman
Her waistline is starting to vary.
It's no longer a joke;
Some persuasive old bloke
Was too deaf to hear her say "Nary!"
--- David Miller
Whose manner was frightfully starchy.
He gave much advice
To the cats and the mice,
When he let them come in his hierarchy.
--- Joan
How difficult it is to lim well.
Befalling the spell
Of the limerick cartel:
Archie, where is Mehitabel.
--- Res Ipsa
Mehitabel's my pussy coach.
One catches mice.
One gives advice.
They're old friends I'll never reproach.
--- Res Ipsa
Was arrested when he crapped on the floor.
In defense, swung his axe,
But found his aim lax.
Now you guess just who's ox has been gored!
--- J Rath
For now he has a very hard cock.
Viagra he took; He
Can't get enough nooky;
His cock is hard as a rock.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He means an idiot and buffoon,
The kind of moron
He closes the door on;
Sometimes Bugs Bunny was a poltroon.
--- Daniel Ford
Made a vow that seemed strangely funny:
"I'm swearing off carrots
And instead eating ferrets,
So my pellets won't be quite so runny."
--- Ystap
The people are red, white, and blue,
They never blow noses,
Or ever wear closes,
What a sensible thing to do!
--- Archie
You can buy lemon pie at the Zoo;
They give away Foxes
In little Pink Boxes,
And bottles of Dandylion Stew.
--- Archie
You never will see a Gnu,
But thousands of cats
Wearing trousers and hats
Made of Pumkins and Pelican Glue!
--- Archie
That's the place for me and you!
So hurry. Let's run!
The train leaves at one!
For the Land of the Bumbley Boo!
--- Spike Milligan
Built his house next door to a Cat.
Compassionate soul;
Adopted a Mole,
And rented to rooms to a Bat.
--- Marlene
Refused to go out in the rain.
Just for pity's sake,
Rat hired a snake,
To ply the Bat with good champagne.
--- Marlene
Declared her mad love for the Cat.
The Snake and the Mole
Called her a clodpole,
Blind to the good care of the Rat.
--- Marlene
The soft rain became a downpour.
She quivered in fear
Until Rat ventured near.
Just getting back home was a chore.
--- Marlene
Obsession's not healthy, dear Bat.
Besides that, you're drunk,
The Cat is a Skunk;
He's stepping out with the Muskrat.
--- Marlele
She now runs in the rain to play.
She forgot the Cat,
Is happy with Rat.
It the "ever after" cliche.
--- Marlene
Going in each others' holes.
Such mad procreation
And miscegenation
Disturb my peaceful repose.
--- Tiddy Ogg
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