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I once knew a girl named AJ 'Twas with glee and amusement I found, It's true life is often a bitch; The limerick goes on with a swing; I hereby am publicly thanking I once was the stuff of folklore As a limerick theme, human tail I remember consulting a Buddhist I can't for the life of me see, They say that a limerick a day Let's build a house of laughter I've often tried having a bash So maybe it wasn't that late, The limerick's a verse, light and free; Daily limericks keep Alzheimer's at bay; The Limericks lived down the hall The poets who grace these fair pages, No oldies in here, if you please. What's wrong with the classics? Indeed! There were two old rhymsters from Croom Turning old jokes in to rhymes At work or at school or at play, But I am no chicken, not me. The limerick, as you all can see, There are many websites that implore us The wife of a young limericks writer A limerick can be read, said, or sung; We pick on the posters of prose You limerick smiths are all crazy; Limerickers constantly strive When things get as dull as can be, I've been hanging around here for a while, Like a limerick, a pun costs a dime, And the critics have called it a miracle Your rhyming is pretty damn good! The limericks you write are top rated. The springs sing a merry tune, when It seems rhyming for you is no test; When perused I this verse...My God! There's ether here, there's ether there, (uses seven letters only)
A cantor can rant at a cat, (uses six letter only)
I see as I sit at tea A tot at a too-too tea, O! A furtively fanatical female Some folk turn to joke books or funny There's a limerick that I call "alitter". AND THEN THERE'S THOSE SICKENING CHAPS The censor keeps letters you've missed -- Anapests are a pain in the bum Oh damn, dere's a swip of duh pen. When my brain's in a state, catatonic, (boustrophedonic - as the ox plows)
The use of a comma or bracket A limrick's writtn to plas, A limerick's alliteration Atypical marks like the schwa, Analogy's hard to explain When writing these verse of mine, I find here a note of dissension, Mud-slinging is really such fun. How quickly the truth is revealed! Matilda I seem to recall MA~ I MEES My puns sometimes fall on deaf ears; Merkin I speak fairly well. Ah! English! It's somehow besot us On reading this frivolous verse I agree at first blush, but although
Who was here, but then went away.
Her rhymes were a hit
'Cause they're chock full of shit.
For a Yankee, I think she's OK.
--- Anon
On your fertile and shamrocked ground,
A limerick tribe
Of sexual vibe,
And deliciously potent with sound!
--- Nathalie F
Sometimes you get stuck in a ditch!
But life must move on;
Your bad times are gone;
With limericks, your life will enrich.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Each foot is equipped with a spring.
It bounces and dances
On puns and romances,
And gives every foible a fling.
--- Alsops Foibles
All posters. You know I am banking
On yards more of verse,
Some better, some worse,
With rhythm just perfect for wanking.
--- John Miller
And now every lim is a chore.
But you I must thank;
Line two made me wank,
Then pasted my wad by line four.
--- SFA
Is a topic that simply can't fail...
For a rhyme's inspiration,
NOTHING beats fornication
And the antics of male and female.
--- Grand Prix Lim 6
About limericks that he thought the lewdest.
He replied as he leered,
"I like them quite weird:
They must deal with a fully dressed nudist."
--- Laurence U
Why no one writes limericks like me.
They all nicely rhyme,
And are really sublime;
Please give me the prize of the fee.
--- Herber Ward
Will chase the blues far, far away;
But if you're a prude
And the limerick's lewd,
Forget what the connoisseurs say.
--- Norm Storer P9812
Where joy sounds from every rafter.
And all there extol,
"Joy's good for the soul!"
For saints here and in the hereafter.
--- Cal & Rose Samra P0409
At writing that stuff, but alash,
I've not got a clue,
So I'll leave it to Hugh
To gain fame, recognition, and cash.
--- Anon
Since now I feel more like a mate!
Be thanked for your praise
For the rhymes were a maze
Through which I only just escaped.
--- Anon
Particularly attactive to me.
Its poetic vituperence,
Creates such exuberance,
That sometimes I just want to pee!"
--- Frank Ward P9309
Nimble neurons halt mental decay.
Skiers, readers and writers,
Blood kin, ankle biters --
Keep your wits with some five line word play.
--- Esther Koch P0302
With six strapping sons, we recall.
Neighbor gal laid each one;
Don't bad mouth what she's done;
She loved limericks - Don't we all.
--- Esther Koch P0900
Write lims which are oh-so contagious;
Some subtle, some rude,
And some downright crude,
I haven't laughed so much in ages!
--- Andrew Walker
They're worse than a social disease.
But we can't get enough
Of original stuff,
And girls that go down on their knees.
--- HMMWV
Asimov and Ciardi decreed,
That anything went,
Even shit in a tent,
And the Farter From Sparta agreed.
--- Heekster
Who started a literary boom
With a five lined verse,
That was bawdy and terse--
Limerick lace, but from no convent loom.
--- Archie
Can be entertaining at times.
Puns into verses,
And couplets from curses,
Is more fun than eating limes.
--- Anon
Limericks brighten my day.
Can't help but laugh
At such marvelous craft;
More fun than Haiku, I say.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I'll toss out some poems to see
If I can compete
With you few elite,
And my ditties be called poetry.
--- Curt
Needs no aid from Hyperbole.
In form and in grace
It takes the top place;
To praise it is redundancy!
--- Jim Drew
To view what mostly will bore us.
But Partners-in-Rhyme
Is simply sublime.
All you need is a smile and thesaurus.
--- Limerick Savant
Said limericks would surely excite 'er.
Though 'twasn't the metre,
But rather his peter
That seemed to be what would delight 'er.
--- Bob Birch
Entertain brain, trip off any tongue.
Often sex episodic
And voyeur hypnotic;
Preferred verse when coarse slang's being sung.
--- Esther Koch P0304
And like to get right up their nose.
But you have the style
And do not defile
The way that a limerick goes.
--- Archie
You make my brain fuzzy and hazy.
If this keeps up I guess
My whip will be at rest.
And my slaves will be getting real lazy.
--- Anon
To keep this pure art form alive.
We don't hold with free verse,
Because there is nothing worse,
Unless it's that rock and roll jive.
--- Don Tidwell
I think of the plumber named Lee,
Of the young man from Ghent
And the lady from Kent,
And the horrible youth from Dundee.
--- Alsops Foibles
And these limericks are making me smile,
But some people, it's true,
Just haven't a clue,
And getting the joke takes a while.
--- Anon
Although it don't generally rhyme.
And when we immerse
The pun in some verse,
The ideas expressed seem sublime.
--- Anon
This is file jsm
That my verse can be gentle and lyrical.
But they all like it best
When I swat at that pest,
And unload with barrages satirical.
So welcome to our neighborhood.
Be it brilliant or lame,
So long it's not tame,
Or spamming, like anyone would!
--- Arden
It's masterful what you've created.
You have meter and rhyme
Most all of the time,
And the two are quite well conjugated.
--- Vie
Nellie lays turgid men now and then.
Springs creaking from poking
Prompt endless joking...
The kind you find bounding herein...
--- Grand Prix Lim 914
You're always so quick with a jest.
I'd like to emote
The rhymes that I wrote,
But I fear that your worst is my best.
--- Curt
Use of **** so clever I'm awed.
Estimation so high.
That I doth hereby
Declare thee the Wizard Of Ogg
--- Anon
There's either ether there or here,
There's ether either here or hither,
There's ether either there or thither;
The ether here or there is sere. (dried up)
--- Sam Goldstein P8411
An actor can trot on a rat,
A cannon can toot a tattoo
To a rat or a cat or a roo,
A cannon can rat-a-tat-tat!
--- Sam Goldstein P8411
A stasis state at sea.
I test, as I eat,
A East Asia seat;
I assess a siesta setee.
--- Arthur Deex P8411
Ate a tattoo, a teat, ate a toe,
A tot of tea, ate --
To a 'T', tete-a tete --
O tot! Tattoo, eat, toe, too, toto.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8412
Fried a flat furry fibrous fantail,
For feeding five flocks
From farms forcing flintlocks
Forlornly forgetting force fails.
--- Archie
Cartoons about mice and Bugs Bunny.
But we here use rhyme;
Yes, all of the time;
Except while we're humping on cunny.
--- Anon
To alliterate's the goal of the submitter.
But to sound to contrived has
Its probs. I'm described as
A smash-hit twit witty bullshitter!
--- Andrew Purdam
WHO DO ALL THEIR RHYMING IN CAPS.
I GUESS THERE'S NO TELLING
AT WHOM THEY ARE YELLING;
I WISH THEY'D GO LIVE WITH THE JAPS.
He swaps one for each *.
1 &
He puts 'tween the banned,
Appending them onto a list.
--- H Welchel
And as limericks go, they're no fun.
I don't like them at all
And they make my skin crawl,
So I try not to write even one.
--- David Morin
I noticed when weading again,
On wine five I choked,
As my pen qwickwy stwoked,
'Stead of WE'D, it shoulda wed when.
--- Anon
,cinori etiuq mees seod yllaer tI
That I can write verse
.esrever in sraeppa hcihW
In lines that are boustrophedonic.
--- Murphy
Will put word or phrase in a packet,
But the comma, it's known,
Can get by all alone,
Where the bracket needs one more to back it.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2462
Lik a man on a flying trapz.
I rgrt that this sampl
Sts no good xampl,
But you may rdm it with as.
--- Laurence Perrine P9002
Applied with some lip lubrication
And a light rolling lick
Or a rough, flirting flick,
Will likely result in elation.
--- Virge
Sound routine and somewhat bourgeois.
But here in this joint,
Is nearly the word of the law!!!
--- H Welchel
In only a five line refrain.
It's like trying to
Describe what you do
In three quarters of a quatrain.
--- David Morin
I start with a clever last line,
There work backwards from there
Toward the opening pair,
With the hope it'll work out just fine.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Or merely a misapprehension.
This cunning device
I employ once or twice,
As a means of increasing the tension.
--- Anon
We should throw shit at everyone.
Pedophiles and priests,
Those who prefer beasts,
And all Texans not packing a gun.
--- John Miller
The blood has just barely congealed
On the last guy I shot...
The world's gone to pot,
'Cause now I must carry CONCEALED!
--- David Miller
Quotes bracketed commas as small, "" [,,] as
Less than two braces, < {}
Unequal to spaces, !=
But greater than nothing at all. BUT >
--- PeterW
My rhyming can turn some to tears.
But lims tend to fish
For language English,
Which Merkins have not used for years.
--- Archie
British I speak but can't spell.
AustRAHlian I can't
Although I can rant
In Texan and say, "Go to Hell!"
--- John Miller
And works from the inside to rot us.
It muddles our thinking
As if we were drinking...
And UNITS. Just see where that's got us!
--- John Miller
My demenour reverted to terse.
In their dash to be clever
They decided they'd never
Use capitals ...and that's even worse!
True now, it was not always so --
One of the best
In the AJL nest
Was a chap who signed "mr malo"
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