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A person just might as well die,
As to give up cake, candy, and pie.
For if those you've shunned
Because you're ROTUND,
Your reason for living's a lie!
--- Observer

Though self-knowledge, I have a fund;
I think I was recently stunned,
When the mirror showed
How much I had growed,
Into a retiree ROTUND.
--- Chris Papa

A ROVER BOY's clean, brave and strong;
Naive as the pure dove of song.
Until he meets "her,"
As male hormones stir,
Then he won't be naive for long.
--- Chris Papa

The goading you feel from the ROWEL
Of politicos disavowal,
Should spur you on, Son,
To elect some one
Who stretches not his every vowel.

(no southeners please)
--- Daniel Ford

Rube Goldberg's contraptions most curious
Save labor through efforts laborious.
Which I think is why
He could be the guy
Who built my computer; I'm sure he is
--- Gary Hallock

A soprano from Colorado Springs
I enjoy. in one of Wagner's Rings.
But her figure is RUBENESQUE,
Bordering on the grotesque,
So close my eyes when the fat lady sings.
--- Norm Brust

In days when maids round, were desireable,
A form, RUBENESQUE was admirable.
Plump models today
Know surely that they
By Jenny Craig only are hireable.
--- Gary Hallock

Think apostles and sandwiches hot,
Since he thought girls who packed quite a lot,
More lusty and sexier
Than those anorexier;
His niche in the language he got.
--- David Finely

Her humor was awfully wry.
Built beefy, jokes corny, so why
Not laugh at her? Jeezy!
Her lines were so cheesy,
A true RUBENNESQUE was Chin Lai.
--- Bob Dvorak

Chin Lai was a siamese twin;
Her sister, Chin Lee was not thin.
This RUBENESQUE pair
Caused many to stare;
Jaws dropped wwhen they saw "double Chin."
--- Gary Hallock

Irreversible path, RUBICON,
Means we have cast the die cubic on,
Abandoned lost hope,
Fastened on new scope,
And are trying a new rubic on.
--- Daniel Ford

RUBICUND, reddened, dear friends,
A discription of "Slick Willy" tends,
As color suggestions,
The hue of projections,
He shows us at both of his ends.
--- Chris Papa

Reddish tendency, RUBICUND,
May indicate one furicund, (one filled with fury)
But in life's paces
Such ruddy face is
Cynosure one's not moribund. (at death's door)
--- Daniel Ford

In limerick, the RUBRIC is rhyme,
With scansion in ordered good time.
The result is great fun
For most very one,
And includes some salacious slime.
--- Chris Papa

Camille wore a white flower each day,
Except when red was on display.
This RUBRIC told boys
To find other toys,
Till she disposed of internal decay.
--- Norm Brust

Well now, you've done yourself proud,
With good lit citation allowed.
But no need to say
"Internal decay",
Will displease the fem PC crowd!
--- Chris Papa

Internal decay deciduous
Is accurate and assiduous,
For discharge of lining,
Sets stage for refining
The still fertile ground residuous.
--- Daniel Ford

An apple-cheeked youth, bright and ruddy,
Neglected his schooling and sutey.
No work could he master;
Result a disaster.
He's now poor old fuddy-duddy.
--- Chris Papa

The roseate cheeks of the RUDDY
Displayed on the face McGillicuddy
Will often belie
The rosacea tie
Of Celtic generations muddy.
--- Daniel Ford

RUMBUSTIOUS folks, I really think
Had better watch out what they drink.
If rum it may be,
Or beer and "church key,"
Most folks don't like their boozy stink.
--- Chris Papa

The rowdy and wild, RUMBUSTIOUS
Celebrants' behavior combustious,
Both damages cars
And their repute tars.
A judge may not think it "rambunctious."
--- Daniel Ford

A stocky guy would RUMINATE,
About all the food that he ate.
"Those Calories grand
Are more than I planned.
The weight loss will just have to wait!"
--- Chris Papa

On things gustatory, I RUMINATE,
My interest in food to illuminate.
But thinking of worms
In dieting terms,
I marvel at all that a human ate.
--- Win

A RUNNING DOG, subservient soul,
Will dig when told "Make a hole!".
And might even please,
By scratching at fleas,
As long as he's kept on the dole.
--- Chris Papa

While their government still runs big con,
Chinese people are chasing the yuan.
That old running dog
Now lives high on the hog,
With nary a thought of Taiwan.
--- Norm Brust

"Capitalist RUNNING DOG", A Chinese curse,
That could land you in Mao's prison or worse.
But now capitalists thrive
In the Chinese beehive,
And the dog is running in reverse.
--- Norm Brust

When running dogs run in reverse
To put many coins in the purse,
The must be wary
Of prospect scary,
Of backing in the fan's perverse.
--- Daniel Ford

A wonderful place RURITANIA,
Where folks have ideas in their crania,
Of how life might be
Quite ideally,
For those with the same sort of mania.
--- Chris Papa

She dreamed of RURITANIAN life,
Full free of all tension and strife.
But her genes were such,
Without the royal touch,
So she became the fishmonger's wife.
--- Chris Papa

Her prim bodice never was ripped;
Between hairy legs she was gripped.
And yet she tingled,
As fish odors mingled,
When into their warm bed they slipped.
--- Chris Papa

RUSSELL'S PARADOX makes suggestion
Presenting logical congestion:
That what we define
As is, may be fine,
Which we know is begging the question.
--- Daniel Ford

RUSSELL'S PARADOX, logic defies;
Concept may not mean what it implies,
Thus, I therefore maintain
It could give you head pain,
Which could lead to an early demise.
--- Observer

RUSSELL'S PARODOX is worth knowing,
Its use seems a neat way of showing,
That you just can't win,
With dumb reasonin',
Which gets you both coming and going.
--- Chris Papa

This is file jpl

Her cheeks had a RUTILANT glow
When he asked to see "What's below."
Her merkin espied,
"You hussy," he cried,
"I'll bet it's a win place to show."
--- Chris Papa

The reddish glow of lips RUTILANT
Signals joy of feelings jubilant.
As when titilation
Raises expectation
Of tantalizing trysts tutelant.
--- Daniel Ford

For a long happy life, the Rx
Is oodles of good and safe sex.
But close kin eschew;
They're no good for you,
'Cause they starve the gene pool index.
--- Chris Papa

It's not just close kin who eschew
Rx for safe sex for the two;
Liturgic hysterics
From silver-haired clerics:
No good family planning for you.
--- Elois

The winter disorder call SAD,
Leaves sufferers feeling so bad,
They'll hop on a plane,
Or take bus or train,
To where more of sun can be had.

(Seasonal Affectuve Disorder)
--- Chris Papa

People eschew Pacific Northwest,
Where only the summer is best.
The rest of the year,
Dark, rainy and drear,
Puts many mere mortals to test.

SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER
--- Chris Papa

SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER
Afflicts many North of the border,
Who must escape grey
For a sunbelt stay,
Until sunny return is in order.
--- Daniel Ford

A gritty and sandy SABULOUS
Is not always quite so fabulous.
Making love in sand
Is never so grand;
For meticulous, it's so crapulous.
--- Daniel Ford

Who put the sand in Vaseline?
A person undoubtedly mean.
Such SABULOUS sex
Will surely perplex
And hurt in a fashion obscene.
--- Chris Papa

The twitching eye sequence of SACCADE
May sometimes show a break in facade.
As face belies faults
In reading assaults;
Otherwise seduction we'd applaud.
--- Daniel Ford

Godiva's equestrian bod'
Caused many a shocking SACCADE,
And eyeballs to bounce
As her hair would flounce,
And elevate many a piece-cod.
--- Chris Papa

In Roman Rites' rules SACERDOTAL,
Besides doings described devotal,
In "belly of beast",
That forbids a priest
To tarry in delights deemed scrotal.
--- Chris Papa

Of priestly doings SACERDOTAL
And rigid thoughts, often scrotal,
There are only few
That we can review,
Hoping to find some antidotal.
--- Daniel Ford

When priests imbibe wine SACERDOTAL,
They lose sight of sins in their total!
Their morals get loose
Like grease through a goose,
Behaving in ways that are scrotal.
--- Barb

Our bishop, to wax anecdotal,
Is not well-behaved or teetotal --
What the bishop enjoys
Is whiskey and boys.
He says, "Bugger the damned SACERDOTAL!"
--- Eva Amata

Priest liked best of work SACERDOTAL,
The handling of the wine devotal.
Tastes would preempt, he,
Until cask was empty,
And padre devoid of sense total.
--- Chris Papa

That nice sacramental, sweet wine
Is to tipsy priest, a source divine,
Where he might splurge in
SACERDOTAL sin,
That leads to cirrhotic decline.
--- Chris Papa

Dead voters, they knew how to snatch 'em;
How to collect names and then batch 'em,
So rotting old bones
From beneath the stones
Would help re-elect the SACHEM.
--- Norm Brust

There once was a sour-faced SACHEM,
Who had plans and worked hard to hatch 'em;
Absconded with fund
Which left most folks stunned,
So sherrif is now out to catch him.
--- Chris Papa

Sacrilegious, a mild word to use,
Among epithets that I would choose,
For desccribing the pap
That's passed off as "rap",
Wherein words and music both lose.
--- Chris Papa

It's time to SAC RELIGIOUS leeches,
For deeds ignominy beseeches.
Let them dwell
Forever in Hell,
Wearing mittens, peeling peaches.
--- Elois

A SACRELIGIOUS young Turk,
Who thinks his wise mentor a jerk,
Ignores moral ways;
Decides that crime pays;
Will in Dante's Hell duly perc (olate).
--- Chris Papa

The great things in life must be ranked,
To have sex in place SACROSANCT,
But just to be fair,
It may not be rare,
How many young ladies were thanked?
--- Chris Papa

A SAGACIOUS savant named Sy,
A highly intelligent guy,
Found that he could rate
In our welfare state,
And chose not to work to get by.
--- Chris Papa

The employment office he'd face
And history of stars he would trace.
On nuclear fusion
He'd sow confusion;
So he, in asylum, they'd place.
--- Chris Papa

But finding he'd take up a bed,
They got him apartment instead.
Though his style it cramps,
He lives off food stamps,
With ocassional trips to club Med.
--- Chris Papa

In fostering sex-life SALACIOUS,
And doing some deed most ungracious,
Is part of the mold,
An arrogance bold,
From one who is venal, mendacious.
--- Chris Papa

The youthful joys of one's SALAD DAYS,
The excesses of those ballad ways,
Are often described
As elders imbibed,
Working through some painful maladaise.
--- Daniel Ford

People are wont to confessing
About SALAD DAYS, but I'm guessing
That Youth's kings and queens
Served up wilted greens,
Topped with plain vinegar dressing.
--- Chris Papa

Durante's SALIENT feature
That made him unique human creature,
Satisfactory
Work olfactory,
So even in the dark, he could reach her.
--- Chris Papa

Prodigious proboscis was seen
By fate of some foolhardy gene.
As admired trait,
That led him to bait,
And lusty lass LADY MONDEGREEN.
--- Chris Papa

A sickly young Devonshire fellow
Thought that his manner, quite mellow,
Would land him a dame,
But none ever came,
For his mein was all sickly and SALLOW.
--- Wayne Moore Jr

Not quite jaundiced but yellowed, SALLOW,
Pale complexion in New York Hallow,
Could be the result
Of liver insult,
From eating too much fried in tallow.
--- Daniel Ford

Small mouth bass, a very fine dish.
Trout and salmon are also a wish.
To snag on my line,
A challenge divine,
Such SALTANT, sweet water, swift fish.
--- Chris Pap


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