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I don't mean to sound like a Scrooge, If SCHNORRERS your hardened heart thaws, The advantage taken by SCHNORRERS, A word like this one "schwarmerei" The sweet French know how to enthuse, The sparkling diamond does SCINTILLATE, SCIOLISM, which fool employs, I'm a dedicated SCIOLIST, I fear. A SCIOLIST, I knew one such; Now you may think that I'm kind of daft Though any family has SCION, A guy meets a gal; His heart's flyin' An elderly lecher named Ryan, "Forgiveness is great," it is said, Dividing or cutting by scission To divide and conquer's the rule The SCOP is an old English bard, Though life's clamber's quite a SCRABBLE, I can't help but think of the game There are those who use psychobabble For hard work they simply don't thirst. If SCRUMPTIOUS should be delicious, He told me my meals were "scrumptious", If men might ladies SCRUTINIZE, Examine closely and SCRUTINIZE In crystals, seers the future SCRY, The shamans had no need to SCRY, For her portrait she wore a large ring. The dulling effect of the SCUMBLE How does your servant most humble, A head-bashing killing did SCUPPER When poor prophets are put upon, Go to the theater today; The Limerick, SCURRILOUS verse, All politicians, more or less, Vulgarity of the SCURRILOUS Sal was a shooter so SCURRILOUS, That Dave in a cave, not a hut, A young pup did have his tail cut; Dave lives in a cave, not a hut, CHARYBDIS' whirlpool, down the drain, Ancient sailors knew risk of SCYLLA, If SCYLLA-CHARYBDIS you face, A fate worse than death is in store Not only sheets of stamps SE-TENANT, SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER Have SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER? The winter does reward this hoarder Without SECOND FIDDLE, you see, But in ways of life, don't pretend. There was burka'd gal from Iraq Passover celebration, SEDER, For Jews Seder is a big deal, Aging leads to aged, SENESCENCE, The cycle of human efflorescence As we age, beholding SENESCENCE Descending in gentle SENESCENCE What hair they have is all white. Up here in Alaska's long dark, In olde days the new bride would speak, An old saying that the folks speak, A week of nights does make a SENNIGHT; So maybe the rabbis were right And this is the reason, you see, In English, some phrases revealing My lover was nothing if not SENTIENT. For sex every guy has a penchant,
But the number of SCHNORRERs is huge.
They're seldom discrete;
They're on every street.
It seems there has been a deluge!
--- Observer
Before giving, better take pause.
They're very adept
At what they accept.
What's "theirs" is for them, as is "yours".
--- Chris Papa
Like that of the slimy corn borers,
Takes sweetness from hearts,
But no good imparts,
And produces a mess of horrors.
--- Daniel Ford
Kind of makes me want to cry.
An little boo hoo
I'll punt it to you.
And it can put tears in your eye!
--- Maggie
Expressing those strong Euro views.
Like their neighbors nigh,
Who show SCHWARMEREI,
When sharing their immigrant blues.
--- Chris Papa
Like sun from the dew drop pistillate.
When rain-drenched daffodils
Seem to be laughing still,
Beaming from atop stems pencillate.
--- Daniel Ford
Showing off smarts for the boys,
Is greeted with dread
And better unsaid.
"Empty barrels make the most noise."
--- Chris Papa
It's an occupation which I hold dear.
I show off my trivia
To all Oscars and Livia --
Do you know why ale is different from beer?
--- Norm Brust
On most any subject he'd touch.
An idea he'd hatch;
A surface he'd scratch
While imparting nothing of much.
--- Chris Papa
But a botanist showed me his shaft.
I asked "Is there power
In that added flower?"
He said, "YOu'll be SCION with my graft!"
--- Kitten
Prominent ones with frequent flyin'
Are so often named
When scion is tamed
Or tapped with patriarch's dyin'.
--- Daniel Ford
And after some heavin' and sighin',
Some love is engendered
And soon she's surrendered
And branching off with a young scion.
--- Gary Hallock
To make pretty starlets kept tryin',
But his favorite son
Had the girls on the run.
For Ryan's young scion they're sighin'!
--- Win Robins
But when she found mate in the bed
With his old best friend,
She'd to lawyer wend,
And sue for a SCISSION, instead.
--- Chris Papa
Is meant to make a clean division.
But in politics
The whole process sticks,
Giving splitting headaches and derision.
--- Daniel Ford
For victory, we learned late in school.
To creat a SCISSION,
A disparate vision
Is a fine way to take down a fool.
--- Eric Seaberg
Who has been by poetry tarred.
His verses of rhyme,
A Pentatette crime,
Can be viewed as only canard.
--- Daniel Ford
In psycho there's no need to dabble.
Just study language
To relieve anguish
And escape the Tower of Babel.
--- Daniel Ford
Because SCRABBLE is indeed its name.
I don't play any more
Because I always get sore
When a missing letter frustrates my aim.
--- Norm Brust
To describe life a constant SCRABBLE,
Which mainly is true
For less fortunate few,
Most would dismiss as poor rabble.
--- Chris Papa
They stay there on welfare, well nursed.
Where they quickly learn
Advancement to spurn
And let the illegals go first.
--- Chris Papa
So tasty and even nutricious,
Why then, oh why,
When that word is nigh,
Are my taste buds quite so suspicious?
--- Daniel Ford
And my car and apartment were "sumptious"!
But oh, my dear,
The outlook was drear,
When I heard that he said I was "frump"-tious.
--- Barb
They'd better quick divert their eyes,
Or lady might bag
With "harassment" tag.
And run to a lawyer, suit-wise.
--- Chris Papa
All you want, but still those Chinese eyes
Are inscrutable.
Quite immutable.
And unmoved by thrusts rooted in thighs.
--- Daniel Ford
Though often what's known's from a spy.
To facilitate
The secrets of state
And others' subterfuges decry.
--- Daniel Ford
Nor gaze at the stars in the sky.
The method they picked
To future predict,
Oft involved offal and newt's eye.
--- Chris Papa
The artist thought it a bit too bling-bling.
So he tried to SCUMBLE;
The result was a bumble.
And now you can't see the damn thing.
--- Norm Brust
May result from an artist's fumble.
When varnish can falls,
The painter recalls
That Titian on ladder took tumble.
--- Daniel Ford
Soften his limerick jumble?
His wife goes "Tsk tsk!"
And rather than risk
His rhyme alters with writers SCUMBLE.
--- Chris Papa
The captain as he ate his supper.
The mutineers rushed
To watch body flushed
Through scupper, as watched from deck upper.
--- Daniel Ford
With immoral goals woe begone,
Poor prophet may dread
The loss of his head,
As Salome SCUPPERED sweet John.
--- Chris Papa
SCURRILOUS phrases they say.
Kids think it is cool.
They use it at school.
Glamour and sex, lead the way!
--- Chris Papa
This is file jnl
Is often obscene or perverse.
It can be as bent
As the fellow from Kent,
Although it's remarkably terse.
--- Eva Amata
Are demagogs quite SCURRILOUS,
With egos all huge,
"Apres mois le deluge,"
Embarking on policies perilous.
--- Chris Papa
Is worse when found in the garrulous.
If they were just nicer,
Seeming social splicer,
Conversation mates would scurry less.
--- Daniel Ford
Life for the fauna was perilous.
His small backyard lot,
He peppered with shot,
And now his property is squirrel-less.
--- Chris Papa
A famed necrophilious SCUT,
All day wandered randy,
Enjoying eye candy,
But nightly returned to his slut.
--- Bob Dvorak
All that's left is a stubby SCUT.
Due to owner's passion
For canine fashion,
You can now see all of his butt.
--- Norm Brust
Ignoring all daily chores SCUT.
It's not clean or jolly
But, in all, by golly,
It's his tiny heaven, all but.
--- Chris Papa
Could assure the sailors' pain.
Even missing the rocks,
Searching Siren's locks,
Ere regaining the bounding main.
--- Daniel Ford
Odysseus passed Priscilla;
Rocky hell to be
From Penelope,
And Sirens give not a scintilla.
--- Daniel Ford
It's definitely not the right space,
Because I do ween,
It's somewhere between,
A rock and a very hard place.
--- Chris Papa
For those who'd this warning ignore.
'Cause if you crack up,
You'll run right smack up,
Hundreds of Wops on the shore.
--- Chris Papa
Those of us in some age getting on,
Must hold together
Through all the weather,
Till we're paid for what we're setting on.
--- Daniel Ford
Known by old history recorder.
When Druids held sway,
Would cure with wild lay,
Rather than trip to Spain's border.
--- Chris Papa
Then go to country south of the border.
The sun shines all day,
To shouts of ole,
And margaritas are made to order.
--- Norm Brust
Though packrats run afoul the warder,
Who suffers a tad
From what is called SAD:
SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER.
--- Daniel Ford
But "First Violinist" there'd be;
With harmony gone,
We'd then look upon
Bland solo, as dull as could be.
--- Chris Papa
Though aid SECOND FIDDLERS may lend,
While support they preach,
The real goal of each
Is "Top Banana" in the end.
--- Chris Papa
With open legs, e'er on her back.
From position SECUND
She was quite fecund,
And had many kids by the stack.
--- Chris Papa
Is high point preceding the nadir
To Christ's life on earth,
From awaited birth,
Through rise via baptismal wader.
--- Daniel Ford
Reminder of hardships quite real.
For Christians as well,
As good book does tell,
It was Jesus' very last meal.
--- Chris Papa
Far from one's callow adolescence,
When ambitious dreams
Yielded secretion streams,
And life goals had less evanescence.
--- Daniel Ford
Peaks during adolescence.
As the acne blooms
And adulthood looms,
Only to end in grey SENESCENCE.
--- Norm Brust
And understanding youth's evanescence,
There can be no doubt
The wily will out,
And wit becomes rejuvenescence.
--- Daniel Ford
Deprives some of their very essence.
They facilities lack,
Of time they lose track,
No longer gain organ tumescence.
--- Chris Papa
They haven't the teeth to steak bite.
But most will agree
With philosophy,
To "not go gently into night."
--- Chris Papa
A winter's SENNIGHT can be stark.
When when all's done and said,
And your snuggled in bed,
Undercover life can be a lark!
--- Barb
When honeymoon questions would tweak,
That after love plays
For the seven days,
"A SENNIGHT sure makes a whole week!"
--- Chris Papa
If SENNIGHT of sex you would seek,
Though it odes inspire,
Result can be dire.
For seven nights does make one week!
--- Chris Papa
It takes that long learning to sin right;
Which constant practice,
Even a cactus
Can fare pretty well in a cockfight.
--- Daniel Ford
In setting aside a sennight
And then one more
Just before
Indulging in sex for a fortnight.
--- Esther
In Jerusalem, the Holy City,
Religious folks
With rabbinical strokes,
Have 7.6 kids per family.
--- Esther
Their actual sense no concealing.
But only when thought of
At length is there got of
The actual sense and the feeling.
--- Anon
She had this unfortunate penchant
Of playing with knives.
Many beaux lost their lives.
Sensitive she was, but so trenchant.
--- Norm Brust
If he is alive and half sentient;
It's always been true
And if you doubt you do,
You're probably not paying attentient.
--- Gary Hallock
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