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Cacaphonius revel, SHIVAREE, On honeymoon with his adored, The winsome young bride and groom pup, Why does "schm---" always mean a jerky Jew? The shamus was given the boot. For reconciliation we SHRIVE; In olden days, with cash enow, In the old days, 'twas important to be shriven, A SHUNPIKE can be the cheap way, A SIAMESE fellow, a Thai, I know of a Siamese guy I know about Russian Siberia; Tale of eponymic bad luck, If you would, for a long time, endure Most of the Public's not sure, He thinks his wife is SIMON-PURE, As man tramples over the flowers, Old 'Frenchie' the Lake George Canuck, The new television to come, A pol is at best SIMULACRUM, When it comes to matrimony, If true wedded bliss, do not jest! Here's what I have to say, When country is in a bad way, A monk with a taste for sex fun, A SINECURE is cool position, A monk with a soul that was pure In an oval SINGULARITY, The tight-fisted who eschew charity, Willy's a SINGULARITY, Abhoring food, SITOPHOBIA The Nordic Noah's boat of bark, The tail in the snow leaves a SITZMARK, When wind and storm force SKEIN to gaggle, In the Fall, flying geese in a SKEIN I'll tell you what's wrong with this scene, (flying geese)
Pronounce it as "skaash" like the whiskey? One of life's great paradoxes, (PETA - People for Ethical Treatment of Animals)
When we give the SKUNKWORKS free rein, Reasearch often fields some "Young Turks", I've a friend who's a bit of a flake. If you find that you're too wide awake, The pols think it very uncouth, Changing in a telephone booth, Detectives discover through the SLEUTH Regarding the term SLICE-OF-LIFE, When playwright pens SLICE-OF-LIFE, The Tennessee Williams SLICE-OF-LIFE Most SLICE-OF-LIFE isn't pretty. SLIPSHOD, the context is tough; Language dies as we watch on blimp buns, Well if "sluggard" means SLUGABED, A SLUGABED is chronic shirker, For Jack Point please shed a small tear; Rhett said, "I don't give a damn, dear!" Most all social chatter I hear, A Russian spent over a year American beer is mere Pursuits trivial seen as SMALL BEER, Most of the things that we fear Tom Thumb, who'd with Barnum appear So small beer means nothing much, I'll take that nice word, you can't bar me, I'm busy as busy can be; "The Mikado" is fun, it's a whee! A short, sharp sword is the SNICKERSNEE, Gilbert's take on the penal cold,
Comes not from a sense of chivalry,
But rather sniggles
And little giggles
And anticipation shivvery.
--- Daniel Ford
Tradition one groom has ignored;
He said this to me,
"Don't want SHIVAREE;
I'd rather drive Chrysler or Ford."
--- Gary Hallock
Were wined and dined in nuptial sup.
Then tried to make whee
Save for SHIVAREE,
When the groom could not quite keep it up.
--- Chris Papa
Remember Al Capp and his shmoo?
Al (nee Kaplan) was MOT (member of tribe)
And on his family tree
I'm sure there hung a jerky Jew or two.
--- Norm Brust
Told to follow another pursuit,
'Cause when he blew the SHOFAR
He performed below par;
His blast was no more than a toot.
--- Norm Brust
To find the right words, we will strive
To assuage the guilt,
That long years have built,
For there's no reason love to deprive.
--- Daniel Ford
One might escape all sin somehow.
Church willing to SHRIVE
Most any alive,
If they'd give up gold or a cow.
--- Chris Papa
Which provided for many priests a good livin',
The flock they would euchre,
Separating them from lucre,
With a cheerful, "My son, you're forgiven".
--- Norm Brust
Avoiding what turnpikers pay.
With some extras, too,
A bucolic view
That well may be worth the delay.
--- Chris Papa
Said, "I'm a great stud of a guy;
My tool will amaze ya',
As well as East Asia,
Which I will all bed, by and by."
--- Chris Papa
Who always would hit the hay high.
"I work hard," he said,
"So just before bed
I do like to loosen mai-Thai!" (fruity cocktail)
--- Gary Hallock
It's colder than Alaskan interior.
But warm is a state
We both can relate,
By covering our collective posterior.
--- Barb
With SIDEBURNS, now we're all stuck.
If Elvis had led,
That Army instead,
Immortalized then is TAIL-DUCK.
--- Chris Papa
As a virginal maid, SIMON-PURE,
Keeped zipped up your pants,
Rejecting each chance
To give any man a hymen tour.
--- Gary Hallock
If the clergy is now SIMON-PURE.
Sad duckling or swan?
Their virtue seems gone,
Whether booze or a babe is the lure.
--- Chris Papa
Modest and exceedingly demure.
But when he's out of town,
She really gets down,
Her inhibitions fewer and fewer.
--- Norm Brust
One trait just pours forth in showers;
Each believes for sure,
He is SIMON-PURE,
A hypocrite till his last hours.
--- Chris Papa
Did not leave his fishing to luck,
"You use ze live bait,
Ze fish tink it's great."
With that bit of wisdom we're stuck.
--- Chris Papa
Will send holographs, and then some,
So that we will see
New reality:
Electronic SIMULACRUM.
--- Chris Papa
Designed for voters to succumb
To vision ideal.
But under this peel,
One finds yet another rum bum.
--- Chris Papa
I'm afraid some guys are phoney.
They pretend to be
A man, but you see,
They really are full of baloney.
--- Maggie
Be sure that your guy is the best!
Don't let him fool you
Or you will be blue.
A SIMULACRUM fails the test!
--- Maggie
About the good words SINE DIE:
Use it on a first date
Who appears at your gate,
Expecting a quick roll in the hay.
--- Barb
From congressmen, all on display,
Just gumming the works,
Behaving like jerks,
One wishes they'd adjourn SINE DIE.
--- Chris Papa
A sultry, sweet Sister's heart won,
And one fateful day,
They rolled in the hay,
So now she's a sinner QUA nun.
--- Chris Papa
Works best likened to leisure fishin'.
And at the top rank,
With key to the bank,
Is son of chief of U.N. mission.
--- Chris Papa
Had a job you'd call SINECURE.
His task was to spread
On the abbott's head
Old Spice when he shaved his tonsure.
--- Norm Brust
That is, with no regularity,
The cigar roller
Met the Belle toller
It tit-for-tat jocularity.
--- Daniel Ford
Might contribute a buck as a rarity,
But there are a few
Won't part with a sou;
Misers of great SINGULARITY.
--- Chris Papa
And friendly, as friendly can be.
He snookers the Dems,
While lifting skirt hems,
To find where his cigar might be.
--- Chris Papa
Afflicted skinny Zenobia.
Her husband's remarks
Made her think of sharks
And big remora or cobia.
--- Chris Papa
Is blown ashore on seaside park.
Says snowshoer, "Heck,
What's that ugly wreck?"
And Noah replies "IT'S M'ARK".
--- Elois
And you must surely know that it's mark
Of skiing tyro,
With an untrained gyro,
Oft falling, bruising, making pits dark.
--- Daniel Ford
This is file jll
Silly geese dance and tail all waggle;
In the park we're hopping
To avoid goose dropping
And dance all the more raggle-taggle.
--- Daniel Ford
O'er much of our land do honking reign.
And when they do stop
To rest, eat and plop,
Green lawns and patience they do strain.
--- Daniel Ford
It's legal to shoot at a SKEIN,
But not worth a braggle
To shoot at a gaggle,
Unsporting, effeective, but mean.
--- Chris Papa
Or like Nova Scotia, more frisky?
Mispronunciation
Can lead to elation
In listeners who laugh. Rather rusky.
--- Cyn
In PETA gal's clothes closet boxes.
If one looks, he'll find
Results there, unkind;
Wraps made from fine SKULK of foxes.
--- Chris Papa
The results may never be plain,
But results there will be,
In homberg or trilby;
Once again, Golaith is slain.
--- Daniel Ford
Each, authority and well-worn paths shirks,
They're productive sorts,
All scruffy in shorts,
And found in a a place called SKUNKWORKS.
--- Chris Papa
When it's time for his hunger to SLAKE,
He goes and heats a
Frozen stick of pizza,
And puts it on top of a steak.
--- Norm Brust
In need of a good torpor break,
You'd better hop in
Some vermouth and gin.
Like Theresa, your thirst it will SLAKE.
--- Chris Papa
When citizens their accounts SLEUTH
To find a nice stash
Of washable cash,
Set aside for the days of long-tooth.
--- Chris Papa
Getting ready to SLEUTH,
Was that handsome gent,
Reporter Clark Kent,
The hero of my youth.
--- Norm Brust
Just what they hope is the truth;
And thereby do fix
A crime charge that sticks,
So prosecutors will cheer, "Forsooth!"
--- Daniel Ford
Where cruel fate can stab like a knife,
Or play funny tricks
When the Gods get their kicks --
Maybe send you a shrew for a wife.
--- Barb
It frequently evokes the strife
Of hero doing his chores,
While dreaming of whores,
And ending in bed with his wife.
--- Norm Brust
Includes much screaming and icy strife.
The put upon mouse
Puts up with the spouse,
Figuring that is the price-of-wife.
--- Daniel Ford
There's little that's charming or witty.
When sex is shown sweaty,
'Midst all those things petty,
That make up each day's nitty-gritty.
--- Chris Papa
Something left half-baked and rough.
It's relative praise,
For relative phrase.
"For government work, close enough."
--- Chris Papa
Our kids use weak rhymes and limp puns.
SLIPSHOD education
Threatens our nation;
If this keeps up, who'll write "The Simpsons"?
--- Phil Kinay
Then "dolt" equates to dumb in the head!
And both of these,
If you do please,
Are not winners of daily bread!
--- Barb
An all-day-in-bed lazy lurker.
He keeps himself whole
Through the welfare dole,
Leaving jobs for the Mexican worker.
--- Chris Papa
For goodness sake, don't taunt or jeer.
His loves gone away
With a vain popinjay.
A broken heart ain't no SMALL BEER.
--- Rachel Bruce
Her troubles were only SMALL BEER.
And of Scarlet's making,
His leave he'd be taking,
While she'd get her new act in gear.
--- Chris Papa
Are rumors, and tales of SMALL BEER.
I listen, eyes glazed,
Remain quite unphased,
Goes in, and right out of each ear.
--- Chris Papa
All alone on the space station Mir,
With nothing to eat
But putrid Spam meat.
His problems since then seem SMALL BEER.
--- Keith Petersen
Small servings of very SMALL BEER.
Budweiser and Miller, examples of this,
Are popular, though they're tasting of piss,
And naught like the beer you get here.
--- Adam Cuerden
Are not the ones that make us all cheer.
But with persistence
And some insistence,
The result may be a pat on the rear.
--- Daniel Ford
Turn out to be just SMALL BEER.
So pull up your socks
And walk on the rocks,
And try to be of good cheer.
--- Norm Brust
At circus sideshows lived in fear
His funeral might not
Be viewed as it ought,
If P.T. bought him a small bier.
--- Gary Hallock
Like trivia, nit picking and such.
Todays conversation
Causes me consternation,
With phrases like "Let's keep in touch."
--- Barb
A delightful adjuective, SMARMY,
Reserved for the few,
If ever I knew,
Enlisted in the "Smart-Ass Army".
--- Chris Papa
With barely enough time from me
To dicker in rhyme.
Still I use the time
For limerical SNICKERSNEE.
--- Chris Papa
And even the dread SNICKERSNEE,
To which Ko-ko alludes
In show never intrudes,
Nor "boiling in oil" there to see.
--- Chris Papa
Enabling the pirates quicker spree
To remove all the goods
Including maidenhoods(?)
Ere gendarmes come from Cri-de-coeur quay.
--- Daniel Ford
Victorian style a la mode,
Would offend ACLU,
But not me nor you,
And lighten our criminal load.
--- Chris Papa
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