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Though SPA is a watering place Those warm rushing waters of SPA With SPAGHETTI-WESTERNS, methinks, Spavined by lifetime of tillage, There was a young lady exquisite, Control of message by SPIN DOCTOR SPIN DOCTORS are out, never doubt 'em; Some DOCTORS are experts at SPIN. Some words can be recommended, The bluish new pill, in a jifferous, Long-needled trees SPLENDIFEROUS, When "laid back" is the name of the game, The Vikings were good at SPOLIATION; The items we label "miscellaneous" SPONTANEOUS combustion yields Some murders occured near the borders-- Reverend Spooner, who never lacked words, In tracking animals by their SPOOR, It's bad enough TV ads spruik, Told to beat until it was SPUMESCENT, Think of what has no tumescence? Frothy, foamy, even SPUMESCENT, What's a poor guy gonna do, A lady with less sense than SPUNK, There once was a SPURIOUS spy, A youth whose origins were SPURIOUS, On their first date, she got very curious She was false, deceitful, and SPURIOUS, Ted was a tightwad, not SPURIOUS; Discarded, rejected or SPURNED, Old adage indelibly burned, What's happened to old Woman's Lib? The fellow who was to adjudicate, Deprived of a lush piece of tail-mate, A husband once tempted his fate, Brought to a standstill is STALEMATE, STALEMATE's also negotiation Boxed in a corner in STALEMATE, And if sometimes she is wrong, think you, Pornography makes up most of my spam, The bloggers helped STANCH the stuff from With rigid world view STANDPATISM, STANDPATISM, poker game stuff, STAR CHAMBER legality waives, Teen's innocent date with a friend The set of sneezing, STERNUTATION, Explosive sneezing, STERNUTATION, His fetish caused much consternation Reviewing with pencil of red, it Writ STET, is an ancient conceit, To "let it stand," editors write STET, Copyreaders are prone to fret A printer a lady had met, If your nose is stuffed, you can pick it. DWI's STICKY WICKET, (driving while intoxicated) A STIGMA of Chevy van, red, Branded forever with STIGMA, A STIGMA is not a nice thing, Though obviously not the first To those with distinct taste to roam, The stony demeanor so STOLID When facts will offend, just STONEWALL. A STOOL PIGEON in mob talk is "rat". A STOOL PIGEON once spilled the beans, Now STRAKE maybe side of a ship, Be assure that I have no need If you smoke locoweed the cops come,
Where one can take leisure with grace.
There are some, I hear,
With habits quite queer,
Like layering mud on the face.
--- Chris Papa
Help many a damsel to thaw
In winter's deep cold,
Or so we are told;
Is it just slick salesman's chutzpah?
--- Daniel Ford
I might as well get forty winks,
Forgetting the horse hips
And those actors slack lips,
Which seem to have missed all the synchs!
--- Chris Papa
Of years Father Time took at pillage,
He said to his wife,
"Enough of this strife.
It's time for retirement village."
--- Chris Papa
Who said she had a SPECTRAL visit.
She was treated with scorn
Till her child was born.
If not then the ghost's, whose is it?
--- Chris Papa
Is often done without a proctor.
To check on the lies
Being fed by spies,
Who ought to be labeled concocter.
--- Daniel Ford
Sans shame, their slick slogans, they shout 'em.
I fear there's no cure;
Of this I am sure.
We'd all be better off, without 'em.
--- Chris Papa
And others are experts on skin.
The latter need appointments
Before they give ointments.
The former are happy to take you in.
--- Norm Brust
But others not comprehended,
Like SPLENDIFEROUS,
Quite vociferous.
Coiner should be apprehended.
--- Darryl
Has a result that's SPLENDIFEROUS.
That Viagra thing,
Will cause instant Spring,
And help make an organ quite stifferous.
--- Chris Papa
Mugo pines are coniferous,
Through which winds swish,
While we're catching fish,
Cleaning air most odiferous.
--- Daniel Ford
I'll quick opt and accept the blame,
Though others may vex
To prefer one sex,
And hope laid-back one is a dame!
--- Chris Papa
Their pillage was quite a sensation..
The lived by the sword,
And got final reward
Ablaze on a long ship cremation.
--- Chris Papa
Are often merely extraneous.
Though they'd not be missed,
We put them on the list --
An act that is more or less SPONTANEOUS.
--- Norm Brust
To those in the detective fields.
And arson is found
From ash on the ground,
Some started by those that wear shields.
--- Chris Papa
They picked up a spy in his quarters.
'Twas not all SPONTANEOUS;
They found subcutaneous,
A radio chip giving him orders.
--- Bob Dvorak
Would, none the less, always hack words,
With certain shifts slight;
He'd bring forth delight,
Phrasing his fragments bass-ackwards.
--- Chris Papa
I confess my record's rather poor.
I see the droppings,
Footprints and floppings,
But I would rather savor liqueur.
--- Daniel Ford
Employing a badly dressed kook,
But worst of all,
Which on my ears fall,
The music which might make you puke.
--- Chris Papa
His batter to make her a present.
He tried very hard
But quickly got tard
Before it was even tumescent.
--- J'Carlin
Decidedly lacking nascence!
Yes, cold feet on back
Makes ardor quite slack
And results in no SPUMESCENT!
--- Barb
The head on beer is evanescent
And disappears soon
In the local saloon,
Like souffle 'mid dancers incessant.
--- Daniel Ford
Who asks for a SPUMESCENT brew
At his favorite bar?
The real chances are
They'd add penile discharge, or two.
--- Chris Papa
Inquired of the muscular hunk
If his well-defined pecks
Were better than sex,
Since his jock strap had visibly shrunk.
--- J'Carlin
A boastful incompetent guy.
He let the gals know,
He was so macho,
But once hung, his neck was awry.
--- Chris Papa
Said to his mother, "I'm curious.
Is my dad the baker
Or the candlestick maker?"
"It's the butcher," she said, "I'm quite sure he is."
--- Norm Brust
And then found out he was so SPURIOUS.
He feigned great affection;
Results? An infection!
She was, how you say it, quite furious!
--- Barb
And her charges were very injurious.
But what hurt the most:
Her trip to the Gold Coast,
Which left me feeling penurious.
--- Daniel Ford
Born to be super penurious;
On date the dumb bloke
Said, "You pay. I am broke."
Friend glared a message injurious.
--- Elois
Scorned woman has her fury earned,
But I'm surmising,
Current downsizing
Leaves many similarly burned.
--- Daniel Ford
That is for all time to be learned,
Advice from the jury,
"Hell hath no fury,
Like that of a woman who's SPURNED!"
--- Chris Papa
It's fizzled just like a wet SQUIB.
Rhetorical hoo-hah;
The burning of bra;
Have we gone back to old Adam's rib?
--- Norm Brust
Asked why we wanted to separate.
I said, "It's plain to see,
Could it any simpler be;
What we have her is a stale-mate."
--- Gunjan Saraf
This is file jjl
Crushed convict confided with jail-mate
That he'd do in a pinch.
Reply, "It's a cinch,
Cell-sharing is at a STALEMATE."
--- Chris Papa
Got hit on the head, wife irate,
Had caused a bad feel,
To feminist zeal,
Now there's a STALEMATE, from fresh mate.
--- Chris Papa
Placed in check by bars on the gate,
With no place to go,
Just pace to and fro,
Like lion who's become inmate.
--- Chris Papa
Locked in one place by an oration;
Needs arbitrator,
Hurry and waiter,
Who'll jumpstart a new mediation.
--- Daniel Ford
Husbands who argue with female mate,
Note Rule Number One:
"She's always right, son!"
Especially when your love sails late.
--- Daniel Ford
For all other cases see Rule Two.
Which is, just for fun,
"Refer to Rule One!"
Future situations you'll eschew.
--- Daniel Ford
Those guys with the 'hidden' videocam.
My filter tries to stanch,
Most of this raunch,
Though some does spill over the dam.
--- Norm Brust
Dan Rather, now perceived a bum,
Who, without remorse,
Became biased source,
And to Democrats would then succumb.
--- Chris Papa
Proponents play like priapism.
They're always upright
But rather uptight;
Dyfunctional stiff rheumatism.
--- Daniel Ford
For players is position tough.
May hearald win call
Or simply be gall
Of someone who can really bluff.
--- Chris Papa
In sending some rogues to their graves.
But attorneys weep,
At what they can't keep,
For all of the fees that it saves.
--- Chris Papa
Meant parent's STAR CHAMBER at end.
Professed lack of trust,
Accuings unjust,
Do seem to rebellion portend.
--- Elois
Can be a source of consternation.
When in concert halls,
The performance stalls,
As an act of strong confutation.
--- Daniel Ford
Is oft companion of flexation.
Be careful when bending,
For at table ending,
Your forehead may gain indentation.
--- Daniel Ford
With very intense concentration.
He'd fill up her muff
With pepper and snuff,
For a climactic STERNUTATION.
--- J'Carlin
Should oft give the writer the credit.
A non-flaw detected
Should not be corrected,
And STET does undo any edit.
--- Bob Dvorak
That editors think really neat,
Since it gives permission
To fix a condition,
That was there and couln't be beat.
--- Chris Papa
Overcoming some previous fret.
But there's also a sense
Of implied return tense,
To "as it was" before edit set.
--- Daniel Ford
When writing standards are not met.
So they correct the proof,
But they even can goof;
So they go back and mark it STET.
--- Norm Brust
And, printing, his font had soon set.
But finding no fun
In so short a run,
The lady, correcting, cried "STET".
--- Nick
If your lip is sticky, you can lick it.
But if partner you lack
When you've an itchy back,
Man, that is a STICKY WICKET.
--- Norm Brust
As cop will issue a ticket,
And you'll go to jail,
If then you will rail,
And tell the gendarme to "Stick it!"
--- Chris Papa
Of peace signs and food for the head,
A victim of time,
And bongs and cheap wine,
A follower of the Greatful Dead.
--- Karen
Jean D'Arc became an enigma;
All passion spurning,
Her heart was burning.
At stake was soul of kerygma.
--- Anon
A mark that new troubles will bring.
It sets one apart,
So others can start
To darker convictions then cling.
--- Chris Papa
Such victim to be so coerced;
She delayed going home,
Due to STOCKHOLM SYNDROME.
Dear sweet, rich, confused Patty Hearst.
--- Observer
To avoid a STOCKHOLM SYNDROME,
No captor you'll face
In any straight place,
If you just decide to stay home.
--- Chris Papa
Reflects those people with a doll id,
Who can't imagine
Sex without bad gin,
In a bedroom they see as squalid.
--- Daniel Ford
You'll fine it a effective stall;
They'll be mad at you,
But when it's all through,
Forget just what started it all.
--- Chris Papa
You can't get any lower than that.
If you talk to cops,
Look out for two wops,
One just might have a baseball bat.
--- Norm Brust
'Bout stuff from the Maria's scenes.
Result of this folly,
He gone, and by golly,
Is quite busy pushing up greens.
--- Chris Papa
Or way to say "stretch" that is hip.
Or else it means streak,
Just like a nude freak,
At Princeton mid-winter's cold nip.
--- Chris Papa
Of STRAMONIUM or any other weed.
A martini or two
The trick will do.
I don't need another habit to feed.
--- Norm Brust
Or else EMT's, you'll get some.
For a few weird sensations
And hallucinations,
Taking the poison's just dumb.
--- Chris Papa
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