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Many a bed-time story Mean and stingy gives us MINGY A MINGY old miser I knew There was a young virgin, who When the perp says word "lawyer" at all, MIRANDIZE those poor felons all, It should come as no great surprise Today's cops will find it is wise He MIRANDIZED the lass of her right The classic MISANDRY of Kate, Miss Andrea is hater of men. When MISCIBLE cedes way to missable, When couples are no longer MISCIBLE, The hodge-podge collection, MISH-MASH, (Ernie Kovacs 1950's-60's comedian)
I dropped into eatery posh, His MISOCAINEA was such, Hatred of marriage, MISOGAMY, (endogamy - marriage within specific group)
MISOGAMY can't be much fun, Since the Garden of Eden's fall, MISONEISM says things should be Resisting change, MISONEISM, She thought she knew just what he meant, Malfeasance, cover-up, MISPRISON, Though drunk to excess, even rude, On Monopoly board freely hop, His dreams to have ladies cheering, There once was a pimpled youth, MITTY, The daydreaming of Walter MITTY, Clever med students, in a trice, Many hope to get through their life If you ask the folks over here, But our leaders, may they rot in hell, MOGIGRAPHIA, what can you do? There was an old mohel named Stiers As any good mohel will vouch, Male member of tribe will begin Our papa at cookout did moil, Though drudgery be a sense of MOIL, Well, I moil for gold in the North, Therefore I brush and I brush MOMISM's a nefarious plan, MOMISM, if you see it up close, When bio time fair lady bids, A MONDEGREEN? Oh, how you bait me! To construct a neat MONDEGREEN, Those words from mishearing, MONDEGREEN, The enourmous worlds of MONDO Oh, to be rich a Croesus! One of my favorite foods is the eel, A PETMONGER thought she might do well, Our dear Congress which barely works, Molly Malone was a FISHMONGER; Purveyor of things is a MONGER; "I'm screwing a MONODY, dear." (man a day?) Lamenting a death in MONODY A MONODY brings on the blues, Geniuses oft have a common fate If it's debatable, it's MOOT, Once something is said to be MOOT, With MOPERY charges deserving, When a man makes a pass at a lass When you live in a house made of glass, The Great White, famously MORDACIOUS, When royalty marries "downstairs," A commoner's love MORGANATIC The strictures on nobility are many.
Tells a tale that is MINATORY.
Why do we stuff
Our kids with this guff,
When the real world is sufficiently gory?
--- Norm Brust
Which causes many to feel cringy.
We're glad we're not
Stuck in that pot,
All depressed, dark, dirty, and dingy.
--- Daniel Ford
Squeezed pennies until they were blue.
Then he met merry maid,
Who skillfully played,
Then his paupery did ensue.
--- Chris Papa
Met a young swain, set to woo.
He made his advance;
She took down her pants,
And found love, MIRABILE DICTU!
--- Chris Papa
Then the cops, at once, must mouthpiece call.
The MIRANDIZE rule
Is a two-edged tool,
Protects rights but may make Justice bawl.
--- Elois
Lest in legal limbo you fall,
And before you are done,
Guy with smoking gun,
Will from any charge safely crawl.
--- Chris Papa
Parents will often MIRANDIZE
Their teen age offspring,
Who go off on a fling,
Straining patience and old family ties.
--- Barb
To every perp MIRANDIZE.
Lest funky old judge
Their best efforts fudge
And charges dismiss, I surmise.
--- Chris Papa
To let him use her bod for delight.
"Oh, be of good cheer."
She said, "Have no fear.
If you're good, I won't seek to indict."
--- Elois
Who tells all of how she does hate,
Our species mad males,
Then right off she sails,
And with one will become a mate.
--- Chris Papa
Had no lovers since God-know-when.
She swears that a child
Can by test tube be styled.
To tube then she makes love again.
--- Bob Dvorak
Things may then proceed soon to mis'rable,
When husband finds wife
Bane, not boon, of his life,
And she finds him no longer kissable.
--- Cyn
The result is often quite risible.
They each moan and bitch,
As lawyers get rich,
And organ use is only pissable.
--- Chris Papa
Dancing in puddles, splish-splash,
Lines willy-nilly,
Verses so silly
I should wear a Kovacs moustache.
--- Daniel Ford
In hopes of a delicious nosh.
Got bagels and lox,
Fried greens and ham hocks,
Complete multi-ethnic MISH-MASH!
--- Chris Papa
That only old things he would touch.
Though, seek amour,
He sought out a young whore,
Whose freshness erected him much.
--- Chris Papa
Perhaps from too much endogamy,
Too much inbreeding,
To gene pool kneading
Or harmonious monogamy.
--- Chris Papa
Because after all's said and done,
There are things to do,
In the marriage stew,
Where two is much better than one.
--- Chris Papa
This has been the loud Luddite call:
"Since my baptism,
Don't MISONEISM;
If you've seen one ism, you've seen all.
--- Daniel Ford
Exactly as in 10 B.C.,
Without fret or stew,
Do as Romans do,
As in todays sweet Italy.
--- Chris Papa
Leads many a group into schism,
Contrasting Luddite
With those who would fight
For dreams against old fogeyism.
--- Daniel Ford
But instead, she wound up with lament!
He was only short term!
A cad and a worm:
Betraying MISPRISON intent.
--- Barb
Cannot be defined with precision.
It may be the act,
Sedition, in fact,
Or may be the judge's decision.
--- Daniel Ford
The lady was never seen nude.
Come-ons, she'd ignore 'em,
For proper decorum
Was say of this MISSISH stewed prude.
--- Chris Papa
But watch out wherever you stop
On MITTIMUS slot,
'Cause then you have got
"In Jail" to go and set up shop.
--- Chris Papa
Surface at Judge Thomas' hearing.
New fame put upon
The cited "Long John",
Was in porno flicks soon appearing.
--- Chris Papa
Who dreamed of a babe with big titty.
Who'd only get calm
By working his palm,
And was object of the maidens' pity.
--- Chris Papa
Did take him through parts of the city
That held great danger
For that Lone Ranger,
And often produced naught but pity.
--- Daniel Ford
Create objects that work very nice.
And often again
To solve their chagrin,
Will create a MNEMONIC device.
--- Daniel Ford
With some mere MODICUM of strife.
But parenting needs,
From children one breeds,
Will get to each poor man and wife.
--- Chris Papa
From most you would hear the words clear:
A MODICUM of peace,
All killings to cease,
Is what we want; just say it's near.
--- Esther
Have ideas that they think are swell.
So we kill and we maim;
"The other side is to blame,"
As we rush to disaster pell mell.
--- Esther
When new thoughts won't come to you.
It can ego trample,
This word's an example
That puts my poor brain in a stew.
--- Chris Papa
This is file jgl
Who often drank too many beers.
He covered his slips
With a few well-aimed snips
From an old rusty pinking shears.
--- Bob L Moers
The bris kit contains a pouch
Where he puts his tips
(The ones he snips),
While witnesses all mutter "Ouch!"
--- Norm Brust
His life with a penile foreskin.
But mohel will MOIL,
Mid some sighs and roil,
To harvest the sheath sans chagrin.
--- Chris Papa
The burgers and steaks to charbroil.
But pigeons from park
Were out on a lark,
And all his good work did despoil.
--- Elois
There is also turbulance of roil,
To stir up fluids
In pots from druids,
Whose senses may come to boil.
--- Daniel Ford
But none of it seems to come forth!
There's just not enough
Of this wonderful stuff
To pay the "odontist" called "orth."
--- Barb
Each day in the dawn's early hush.
Keeping gums in the pink;
It's better, I think,
That eating three meals of mush.
--- Barb
To give all the tit that one can,
Insuring that child
Will grow up beguiled,
By big breasts throughout its life span.
--- Chris Papa
Is really a very large dose
Of selfish possession,
Bordering on obsession,
Which ultimately proves otiose.
--- Norm Brust
With urge to have and raise kids,
Alas and alack,
It's the MOMMY TRACK,
Advancement's then slow, or on skids.
--- Chris Papa
I asked a girl once, "Would you date me?"
You'll understand why
I missread reply:
"I think, sir, you undress to mate me."
--- Gary Hallock
Twisting what words really mean,
Need skill fantastic,
Paronomastic,
As cooked a la Dan Ford's cuisine.
--- Chris Papa
As soup bowl prize is wintergreen,
Are best understood
As tree falls in woods,
Unheard by Vermont Army's gangrene.
--- Daniel Ford
Remind us of Jean Paul Belmondo,
Where chills, thrills and bliss
With slip sliding miss,
Are matched with trumpet glissando.
--- Daniel Ford
That inspires our NISUS.
So we give our cash,
To the Wall Street trash,
And then they proceed to fleece us.
--- Norm
Though I've never had one in my creel.
So if a fish MONGER
Offers me a conger,
I consider that a good deal.
--- Norm Brust
In strange beasts like ocelot and petrel.
But no one'd believe her,
Her golden retriever
Looked just like a normal mongrel.
--- Bob Dvorak
Comprised of political jerks,
With agenda clear,
Great MONGERS of fear,
Who mainly agree on great perks.
--- Chris Papa
Her parents trade made her much stronger.
But she died of a fever
Which never did leave her;
She is a fishmonger no longer.
--- Daniel Ford
As one who taps barrels is a bunger.
If they collaborate
To prepare buyer's fate,
They never should suffer from hunger.
--- Daniel Ford
These words from my friend I did hear.
Her West Indies lilt
As confession she spilt,
Gave me cause my own sex life to jeer.
--- Cyn
Often involves a great psalmody, (hymn singing)
As when saying goodbye
To our Camelot guy,
The young John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
--- Daniel Ford
Whether one or two you might choose,
To death devoted
Or tune that's one-noted,
Best heard with a head full of booze.
--- Chris Papa
With MOONCALF as a quite common trait:
Disruptive while schooling,
Labeled dunces while fooling,
But with accomplishments truly great.
--- Gene
Commanding no rooty-toot-toot.
No one would care if
Defensive tariff
Came from Mr. Hawly or Smoot.
--- Daniel Ford
The lawyers then won't give a hoot,
To facts as they are,
Might otherwise mar
The pleadings of each worthless suit.
--- Chris Papa
Is action or lack of, unnerving.
And should bring arrest,
Where it's practised best,
By those now in our Senate, serving.
--- Chris Papa
And he's wed, it's a moral MORASS.
But to keep disinterring
The flaws of the erring,
Strikes me as equally crass.
--- Eva Amata
It is wise to not be very crass.
As the Prez can attest,
It is most often best
To avoid situation MORASS!
--- Observer
Has a maw that is endlessly capacious.
A dory's just dish
For this vicious fish.
And the passenger's his meal. He's voracious.
--- Norm Brust
After having successive affairs,
The plebian state,
MORGANATIC fate,
Awaits them, if anyone cares.
--- Chris Papa
Has consequences quite emphatic:
By marrying down
And losing the crown,
Nobles gain comeuppance traumatic.
--- Daniel Ford
So when milord marries plain Jenny,
Here comes the fanatic
Who labels it MORGANATIC,
So that Jenny does not get a penny.
--- Norm Brust
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