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The flames grew higher and higher, Dave, hermit who tippled too much. A MOUNTEBACK deals in cures fake, Your common sense has gone in the tank, It almost requires a scoff, There once was a man of Biloxi, A virile young man with much MOXIE, With undaunted courage, MOXIE, In my youth, it took a deal of MOXIE Who cared about salary carp In Washington, we'll find, one day, When I go to the movies today, Just listen to young people talk, Ruth Reichel, as was wont to do, (food critic New York Times)
MUCKETY-MUCK, misbehavin', High MUCKY-MUCK, that boastful man With salacious new catalogue pitch, I've know many a high MUCKY-MUCK The Fugawi elite in Nantucket I once knew a bimbo named Buffy In mufti, a macho G.I. MULIEBRITY, legs and arms bare MULIEBRITY, feminine state, Womanhood, MULIEBRITY, There once was a famous drag queen Which one is the fairer sex? Thank God for MULIEBRITY, MULIEBRITY is what I like most MULIEBRITY may be the tool Some MULLIONS, in windows, I've had, MULTITUDINOUS blessings for all, In great numbers, MULTITUDINOUS, I confess to my sins MULTITUDINOUS, MUMBO JUMBO of our politicians; Lavish, generous, MUNIFICENT, Look, see our pols MUNIFICENT, It surely will stick in your craw, A MYOPIC man merkin made, There's a MYRIAD of excuses As cool breezes stir in Autumn, MYRMIDONs together like ants, (loyal follower)
"Lead on!" the MYRMIDON cries, A MYRMIDON's sweet as a fruit, (loyal follower)
The prophets and seers of old, Ralph Nader of Greenies did score The lowest point, cultural NADIR, The King and pied piper went charging, The bane of olfactory fairies, The doors to the nose are the NARES, There was a young lady from Paris Some people think I am a nark, At newspaper, one would remark,
As the brimstone fed Hell's hot fire.
I'd rather be MORPHEUS
Than poor old Orpheus
Searching for Iphigenia.
--- Norm Brust
One night went for Venus' soft touch.
But lost lover's charms
In MORPHEUS' arms,
And spent session snoring and such.
--- Chris Papa
And will filthy lucre in rake.
It ain't that he's smart,
He just knows the art
Of wheedling the fools who partake.
--- Chris Papa
If you buy stuff from a MOUNTEBANK.
His miracle elixir
(Alcohol and a mixer)
Will make your mind quickly go blank.
--- Norm Brust
To know MOXIE was a soft quaff.
But now means a thing
Of which poets sing,
And proper gents would their hats doff.
--- Chris Papa
Who drank forty bottles of MOXIE.
It emboldened him so,
That he just had to go,
But he missed. Now quite soggy his socksi.
--- Gary Hallock
Said, "I'm to be wed now, by proxy.
My stand-in will vow,
But better not now,
Bed down with my hot lady foxy."
--- Chris Papa
Unless he's dumb, stubborn, oxy,
That virile man must
Have an equal trust
That hot lady's not a doxy.
--- Townmouse
To become an usher at the Roxy.
Which brought little pay
But hope for a lay
From a loose young lady foxy.
--- Chris Papa
When you wore a uniform sharp.
That could be undone
For some instant fun
In corner, beneath an old tarp.
--- Daniel Ford
Reminder from all who would play,
"This is the White House,
Please think of your spouse,
And what Mrs. Grundy might say!"
--- Chris Papa
Mrs. Grundy's the role that I play!
That four-letter word
Is constantly heard,
So much, that it gets in the way.
--- Maggie
Foul words used so often, I balk!
It is sad but true,
They will cuss at you,
Thinking this is a cool way to squawk!
--- Maggie
Taste tested at restaurant new;
Food MUCKETY-MUCK,
Said "Yuckety-yuck!"
And gave it an awful review.
--- Chris Papa
Was undone because of stain-savin'
By gal who wiped lip,
Then listened to Tripp,
Avoidin' the dry cleanin' maven.
--- Chris Papa
With ego as large as his fan.
"Pooh-Bah" is just so
In the "Mikado",
Who dwells in old pseudo-Japan.
--- Chris Papa
Former staid Abercrombie and Fitch,
Did not make the cut
With group you-know-what,
Or with blondes wearing nary a stitch.
--- Elois
Whose position was the result of good luck.
But deprived of his props,
He has no real "chops"
And is simply a pompous schmuck.
--- Norm Brust
Race each year (They're high mucky-mucket.)
Through the fog off the coast,
In vessels they boast
Is a helluva seaworthy bucket.
--- Elois
So called for her near-naked mufti
With naught but large shirt
Worn lose like short skirt,
Her muff covered by not enough tee.
--- Gary Hallock
Would pass for a nice, quiet guy.
Which belied his taste
For laying folks waste,
Protecting such as you and I.
--- Chris Papa
To eliminate unsightly hair.
But men aren't brave
To blindly shave
With razor in underarm snare.
--- Bob S
Which most men consider as great,
When it comes to bedding
But not when they're heading
To spend dough at "Barrel & Crate".
--- Chris Papa
May stand against celebrity.
An action, I think,
Which drives one to drink
And much pubic inebri'ty.
--- Daniel Ford
Who'd recite Shakespeare, scene after scene.
But the source of his celebrity,
Was his fab MULIEBRITY.
It turned all the other queens green.
--- Norm Brust
Answer can't be too complex.
What soothes mens' soul
Or stiffen pole,
MULIEBRITY, mine erects.
--- Gary Hallock
Our maternal celebrity,
Does love our small quirks
Even when we're jerks,
And still clean us up when we're gritty.
--- Darryl
About the wonam's body as host.
And though I'm quite mild
I love to drive them wild,
But then I am not one to boast.
--- Barrie Eksteen
By which men grade the available pool.
My wife has the standard
To carry the banner,
But by her standards, I am the mule.
--- Bob Dvorak
Their loss isn't specially sad,
It's better they flee,
That wouldn't hurt me,
But bye-bye to MILLIONS is bad.
--- Chris Papa
On this special day in the Fall,
With life, food, and love,
And friendship above,
The great gifts that are at our call.
--- Chris Papa
Feelings of guilt do intrude in us.
When we're giving thanks,
Might be at food banks --
Mea culpa's platitudinous.
--- Daniel Ford
Sad example of crass and the lewd in us.
For it's inside I think
When I hear "in the pink",
I envision young maids pulchritudinous.
--- Phil Kinay
This is file jfl
Useful tool for life's varied conditions.
Give congrats or condole,
Pols can change role to role.
Kiss the babies, shake hands at morticians.
--- Elois
Are the donor most beneficent,
Until you deny
That for which they cry;
Then indeed they turn maleficent.
--- Daniel Ford
Quite ready to help pay the rent
For contributors
And other 'cash whores',
Who campaign laws will circumvent.
--- Chris Papa
If you expect Justice sans flaw,
Since, when on life's journeys,
You'll find most attorneys,
Most sadly practice MURPHY'S LAW!
--- Chris Papa
To help his bad aim whilst he played.
Or else he'd miss spot,
And fear that his shot
Might on her blue dress never fade.
--- Chris Papa
For gastro-nomical abuses.
"I've not a big ass,
It's all muscle mass.
I jog but it never reduces."
--- Frank
Before long there'll be noses numb,
Sere leaves, painted all,
And ready to fall,
With MYRIAD more yet to come.
--- Chris Papa
Praise their Lord in monotone chants,
Think only of goal;
That's good on the whole,
But ethics get shot in the pants.
--- Daniel Ford
With ardor that reaches to skies.
Then wrong or right,
Is willing to fight,
Until the last one of them dies.
--- Chris Papa
Supports his guy, goes the whole route.
In Washington rare,
He just isn't there,
Just Willy Clinton or Newt.
--- Chris Papa
Are described in tall tales quite bold,
MYTHOPOEIC tome,
The Bible's at home,
As place where good morals are told. (Bullshit - McW)
--- Chris Papa
The NADIR of votes, nary more.
Though Democrats roil,
And say he did spoil,
The chances of their guy, Al Gore.
--- Chris Papa
Might have been King Richard Crusader,
Who read Roman screed
And felt a great need
To become mid-east blockader.
--- Daniel Ford
Intent on Christiandom enlarging.
Chased Moslems and Jews
Through alleys and mews,
Every night Knights Templar discharging.
--- Daniel Ford
Worse that bad dental caries,
Though taste buds does please,
Is Limburger cheese,
Once it passes by your NARES.
--- Chris Papa
Keeping guard like some janissaries,
To alert our senses
Of need for defenses,
Ere we be found in ossuaries.
--- Daniel Ford
Who had just a singular NARIS.
For two she'd no need;
She was a half-breed.
No stranger face, I'm thinking there is.
--- Gary Hallock
Though my bite's not as bad as my bark.
But while it's a minor crime,
I can't stand a false rhyme,
So abusers get a pointed remark.
--- Norm Brust
Reporter was mild-mannered NARK.
But was, otherwise,
"Superman" in disguise,
Masquerading as Kent (first name Clark).
--- Chris Papa