MORE
The violence which mankind has hurled, A hot-blooded GRANDEE of Spain (PID - pelvic inflammatory disease, usually gonorrhea)
Elevated to the rank of GRANDEE, There once was a GRANDEE named Fletcher, GRATUITOUS, "free as the larks", GRATUITOUS violence and sex? Superfluous is GRATUITOUS, The GRAVAMEN of suing spouse, GRAVAMEN, to court we travel, She doesn't quite live in a hovel, A trogdolyte monk of depravity, A heavenly body's GRAVITY The GRAVITY here on the ground Some poor ladies suffer the fate, Financial piracy of GREENMAIL The gaggle of geese GREGARIOUS The Archer's sign, Sagittarius, Young ladies by nature GREGARIOUS, One's health is always precarious, A young lad with manner GREGARIOUS, I think it is so hilarious Couples hot, unable to wait, The quickie marriage on GRETNA GREEN It's really a comical scene, I am here today to confide, Like some say, we'll treat those who GRIFT, Let us hope that justice is swift The ease with which grifters gain GRIFT The con man who engages in GRIFT As lively and bright as a GRIG, But now that you have a big rump, Grimalkins are cats old and grey, I'm sure to the Toms it makes sense, A sparky and profligate welder When it comes to amassing of shoes, Sand in Vaseline isn't pretty. The persistent ones seen as GRITTY, When Brittania did rule the waves, Diluted rum was quickly called GROG, A new word I learn now and then, The reinforced eyelet is GROMMET, A GROMMET to pull the lace through, The GROTESQUE limerick unreasonable, In Greenland there was GROTESQUE guy, In Alaska, never you fear, The GROUNDLING of ignoble birth The GROUNDLING life's often the pits; Sometimes small investment we make, Investors' seed money, GRUBSTAKE, Entrepreneurs jump at the chance, To be GUDGEON, with senses dulled, The term "guinea pig" is abused, There was a guy in every sex gig, There are those who think Guinea Pigs cute The under-chin skin folds are GULAR, Our President, a gifted tooler, Though lust with gust some prudes would dis, Over limericks some have fumed and fussed, An oenophile takes keen delight, GUST, "Consume" is a nice way to say "eat". Potatoes, the staple of Mick, Voracious, onmivirous, devouring, The guzzling gourmand does oft GUTTLE Guys from den to kitchen shuttle, The honeymoon bride would perplex There certainly wouldn't be anarchy Women govern -- GYNOCRACY,
In massacres which have unfurled,
In many a far place,
Is the brutal face
Of our GRAND GUIGNOL of the world.
--- Chris Papa
Bedded his wife, once again.
She said, "It is true
That your blood is blue,
But with PID, I have great pain.
--- Chris Papa
He chuckled with internal glee.
"To demonstrate my might,
Today, from great height,
On my inferiors I will pee."
--- Norm Brust
Who had an idea to catch her!
He was doomed from the start;
He had a faint heart.
They carried him out on a stretcher.
--- Barb
Like passes at old baseball parks,
Is something too grand;
On the other hand,
When GRATUITOUS precedes "remarks".
--- Chris Papa
Don't go to local cineplex;
What's seen on TV,
Here or across sea --
What most we abhore, news reflects.
--- Darryl
As slimy gobs are pituitous.
When in spitting war,
The cad evens score,
With bombs and tries to spit two at us.
--- Daniel Ford
In shedding her hubby, the louse,
Was "sex on the side",
To help judge decide
That she should keep more than the house.
--- Chris Papa
And in Halls of Justice unravel,
Mid conflicting pleas,
Why Monica's knees,
Look like abrasions from gravel.
--- Chris Papa
Or work with a long-handled shovel,
So one might surmise,
What's seen with our eyes,
Is not from some gravel, but grovel.
--- Chris Papa
Lured lass to iniquitous cavity.
She liked to play there,
And soon his dark lair,
Became her new center of GRAVITY.
--- Chris Papa
Attracts some others of suavity.
But if their joint motion
Ain't slowed by devotion,
It may lead to some concavity.
--- Daniel Ford
Is bound to surround you, I've found.
But in space there's no weight
And no diets; that's great!
And no further I'll need to expound.
--- Gary Hallock
Selecting some guy for a mate,
Who says that he will
While he has his fill,
With GREEK CALENDS as nuptual date.
--- Chris Papa
In the face of Enron does seem pale.
Hijacking the states'
Right to set the rates
Is at odds with the judge who would deem bail.
--- Daniel Ford
Were hopping and honking hilarious,
As barking dogs raced
Through droppings that graced
The lakefront lawns so nefarious.
--- Daniel Ford
And Water-Bearer Aquarius,
At once cantankerous
And a wee rancorous;
Nonetheless, both are GREGARIOUS.
--- Larry McGrath
Who hope to remain nulliparous,
The hermits in these
Rhymes should not tease,
Lest rectitude become precarious.
--- J'Carlin
Exposed to germs, many and various.
So it makes good sense
To practice self-defense
By avoiding activities GREGARIOUS.
--- Norm Brust
Sought girls in new ways various,
But all he could find
Were men of like mind,
Seeking action nefarious.
--- Chris Papa
That some gals are so GREGARIOUS;
But often thought bold
With charms to be sold,
By guys who are really nefarious!
--- Barb
All eager to rush wedding date,
To GRETNA GREEN run
To jump start the fun,
And honeymoon really first-rate.
--- Chris Papa
May not be soon smashed to smithereens,
But note at parkside,
That less cautious bride
Who was known as Lady Mondegreen.
--- Daniel Ford
Those quicky nups in GRETNA GREEN.
A hurried "I do";
Forget "I love you."
Life is simple when you're seventeen.
--- Norm Brust
That K-Y with bort on inside,
Won't lubricate much,
Is painful to touch,
And will make most moist organs GRIDE.
--- Chris Papa
When they have our decency miffed,
With sublime objects,
Like stretching their necks,
Using the just hangman's lift.
--- Chris Papa
For those who would perpetrate GRIFT,
So they may join flocks
Of those pounding rocks,
That's jail-time, if you catch my drift.
--- Chris Papa
Often has me feeling quite miffed.
It's just not enough
To complain of such stuff,
'Cause now I'm the one who's been stiffed.
--- Daniel Ford
In society's fabric makes rift.
Losing public trust,
Civilities rust,
And rough justice, hanging, should come swift.
--- Daniel Ford
Who dances so sprightly a jig.
I never have been
Since when I was thin
And people then called me a sprig.
--- Daniel Ford
With waistline in which fat rolls clump,
Too bad that you're taller,
Since if you were smaller,
I'd certainly call you a stump.
--- Chris Papa
All dozing their way through the day.
Except when a mouse
Runs right through the house,
And gets caught, much to its dismay.
--- Barb
To love our GRIMALKIN, instense.
Except I don't care
To know they are there;
Serenading our puss on the fence.
--- Chris Papa
This is file ivl
Seduced a young girl called GRISELDA.
She, meek while he welded,
Was swiftly Zeigfelded --
No wiser, but certainly elder.
--- Nick Lanyon
The champ we are certain to choose
Is Marco's Imelda,
Who was no GRISELDA
And still hardly has paid her dues.
--- Chris Papa
We, the unwiting users, pity.
Expecting smooth glide
Along with the ride,
But greeted with plowing GRITTY.
--- Chris Papa
Are not often thought of as witty.
While they are plucky,
We hope they're not schmucky
Or nebbishes like Walter Mitty.
--- Daniel Ford
Which kept tars from too early graves,
And scurvy's dark fog,
Was lime with their GROG,
A pleasant elixir for saves.
--- Chris Papa
Which sailors throught more suited to frog.
But French did not whine
For any but wine,
Leaving those tars aground in the bog.
--- Daniel Ford
GROK is Martian way to say "ken",
Or "dig it", you see,
And obviously,
A usage for teen denizen.
--- Chris Papa
Through which goes the aglet as comet,
Zipping thus right through
To lace up your shoe;
Any more cute stuff and I'll vomit.
--- Daniel Ford
Works best when you're tying your shoe.
First left, then the right,
You pull it real tight.
Then start it all over anew.
--- Observer
With such lax morals treasonable,
Is but brought to mind
With weather, the kind
That makes such bad thought only seasonable.
--- Chris Papa
Who thought native girls he might try.
But none of them "poked"
And so he then yoked
With reindeer who were grazing by.
--- Chris Papa
Yens sexual for any reindeer
Are never quite sought,
Or GROTESQUELY thought,
With Musk Oxen conveniently near.
--- Barb
Finds in his farts unbidled mirth;
Though poor and despised
And in rags disguised,
'Tis said he'll "inherit the Earth."
--- Chris Papa
For in the mud is where he sits.
He's seeing the play,
But that's not to say,
He avoids where the upper crust spits.
--- Daniel Ford
By offering up a GRUBSTAKE.
Don't know if return
Will be enough to earn,
Or simply the grubbing of fake.
--- Chris Papa
Is proffered in hope they can take
Ten to hundred fold
Investment in gold,
Then do it again for greed's sake.
--- Daniel Ford
With hardly any backward glance,
For building coffers
With other's proffers,
And slipping the gold in their pants.
--- Daniel Ford
Like widgeon, an odd bird, thick skulled.
One waits for a crook,
To set out his hook,
Then, Wham!, a new sucker is gulled.
--- Chris Papa
Since in lay terms it's often used
To describe what I fear
Was once called "volunteer",
Which may keep some doctors confused.
--- Harold
Great handfuls of garlic would swig.
Till Rosina said,
As he hopped into bed,
"Geddout, you dumba "GUINEA PIG!"
--- Chris Papa
But they are certainly not mute.
In plastic houses they zoom
Inside your classroom,
And you get to clean them, to boot.
--- Barb
Evidence of an aged ruler,
Whose table setting
Wattle is getting,
Like man, a rakish old schooler.
--- Daniel Ford
With ladies, more hot than cooler,
Regardless of votes,
Has yen for "Deep Throats",
Beats "oral" sex, when it is "GULAR".
--- Chris Papa
Its vitalness we must not miss.
The practice, it's clear,
Is how come we're here;
As source of pure humor, it's bliss.
--- Elois
Because verse is of sex and lust.
To those few I'd say,
'Tis better to play
And hail with lascivious GUST.
--- Chris Papa
In varieties coming from must,
When flavors golden
Hint of molds olden,
Have escaped the most killing leaf rust.
--- Daniel Ford
As euphemism, "ingest" is neat.
But we stop being subtle
When we use the word GUTTLE,
To describe how men inhale meat.
--- Norm Brust
Gave him a pot belly thick.
The spuds he'd guttle;
There's no rebuttal --
He's now diabetic and sick.
--- Chris Papa
Gourmandise, Falstaffian, empowering;
There's nothing subtle
About the verb "To GUTTLE."
It conjures up an appetite that's towering.
--- Norm Brust
His food in such a shuffling shuttle,
That one must take care
He takes not your share,
As he strives starvation to scuttle.
--- Daniel Ford
Getting beer and chips to GUTTLE.
Then with big head,
Go off to bed,
Leaving mess for wife to buttle.
--- Elois
And with some bladder problems, there vex.
But still, all in all,
Was held in great thrall
By the regular GYMKHANA of sex.
--- Chris Papa
If editing limericks were a GYNARCHY,
Monks would be flailed,
And hermits all jailed,
And pols all chided just for malarkey.
--- J'Carlin
As subtle form of democracy,
Wherein GYNOCRACY
Starts at menarche,
And men discover autocracy.
--- Daniel Ford
MORE