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When we GYP with gypsies connect, Dear people, please heed my advice, A GYROVAGUE, wandered into the cave (wandering monk)
The GYROVAGUE to folks will wave, Professional clothes, HABILIMENT, In the tale of "The Emperor's New Clothes", Godiva registered dissent While horse had a blanket on board, The triteness that comprises HACKNEY A HACKNEY / a pony /a horse A HACKNEY ride is tour de force, Oceanic trenches HADAL HADAL, an adjective weird, Hadrian sent his Roman legion HAGIARCHY with priests is a-brimmin'. The Haiku's not lewd or perverse (you say) Although I'd be tempted to try it, They seem to be weird, fragile things, Our Willy's HAIL-FELLOW-WELL-MET, HALCYON always is seen It's easy to sit and lament The peaceful, joyful times HALCYON Idyllic were the days HALCYON, We know HALCYON days of summer Hurrah for the poor aging male, When one is hearty, healthy, and HALE, New horizons ahead for old Dave, Maturing is not always fun, Keep you body and mind up to par, Distinguishing stamp makes a HALLMARK, Gay dress can be flamboyant or stark, Standard of excellence, HALLMARK, The HALLMARK of lying, one knows, For character flaws, HAMARTIA, The first business gain saved as HANDSEL, Of HANDSELS I'd surely be fond, The HAPTIC hand he had, made Harry It's touching to feel some strokes HAPTIC For Harry to marry his goose (Cape Town slang -
girlfriend) He starts each speech with a bang, Vociferous speechified HARANGUE In Senate, HARANGUES every day, A HARBINGER, father of teen, Spring's HARBINGER, Robin Red Breast, St Patrick's Day, Sean does his thing; A judo expert named Ginger Young folks won't often harken Young bucks are unlikely to HARKEN Listen up, laddies, do HARKEN! The ill-tempered scold, a HARRIDAN, The HARRIDAN having tart tongue, Many a mere man's been stung The entrails reading from HARUSPEX A HARUSPEX of Roman type, "You'll never find such a diviner, The practice of HARUSPICATION, Picadores still play HASTILUDE, HASTILUDE's considered great sport More astounding is such a HAT TRICK. Such triple success of the HAT TRICK, The Mad Monk, in his bragging, tells Three wins in a row make a HAT TRICK; A monk with no moral criteria Sex drive will diminish, we know. The vacillation we call HAVER While I might an older word savor,
It's politically incorret.
But language has lost
At uncounted cost,
Some color and now has defect.
--- Daniel Ford
Don't use the word "GYP", it ain't nice;
From "Gypsy" derived,
These days it's contrived,
As P.C. offense in a trice.
--- Chris Papa
Of an anchorite whose name was Dave.
Repelled by the smell
In this monastic cell,
He said, "It's less like a cave than a grave."
--- Norm Brust
As he travels on roads with his stave.
While Dave we espy
As a one-place guy,
Who gyros with stuff from the grave.
--- Chris Papa
May not engender a compliment.
Unless it's perhaps
From streetwalking chaps,
Out fishing hookers filaments.
--- Daniel Ford
He's naked from his head to his toes.
Yet this silly gent
Lacking HABILIMENT,
Takes pride in his buttons and bows.
--- Norm Brust
In unusual HABILIMENT.
When at times she dresses,
Just covered by tresses,
Her rides are a rising event.
--- Chris Papa
She rode for the ogling horde,
Of all types and class
In style called "bare ass",
And was a first "hippie" adored.
--- Chris Papa
Is as bad as all the cures for acne.
As much as one tries,
The most are just lies
On sale for high prices by Acme.
--- Daniel Ford
An animal Godiva'd endorse.
And bare on it's back
She placed her cute rack;
To watch her, men came out in force.
--- Garrie Eksteen
And is quite romantic, of course.
For two on the town,
Though may draw a frown,
From PETA. who pities the horse.
--- Chris Papa
To few life forms are craadle:
Unpigmented fish,
A jettisoned dish,
And tubeworms that spin like dreidel.
--- Daniel Ford
Not place of Hell that we feared,
But ocean's deep floor,
So far from a shore,
No fear your rear end will be seared.
--- Chris Papa
North into blue depicted region,
Where he built a wall,
And then served them all
Not haggis but sweetbreads parmegian.
--- Daniel Ford
The holy, profane win mixed swimmin',
But I, like a fool,
Thought that it mean rule,
By post menopausal old women.
--- Chris Papa
Yet I found a terse Japanese verse (today)
Which limned in some detail
Anatomy (female)
Then did it again in reverse. (Oy vey!)
--- Eva Amata
It's sort of like going on diet.
Less than the eye meets,
But I like my sweets,
And am not just ready to buy it.
--- Chris Papa
Borne on a butterfly's wings;
Devoid of the bang
And sonorous clang
That each scripted limerick brings.
--- Chris Papa
As red-neck, as red-neck can get,
Won't mind telling lies,
And making chicks tries,
A macho-man, hanging-in yet!
--- Chris Papa
As time that's surreal and serene;
A piece of mind's eye,
A memory long bye,
At fond backward glance ever keen.
--- Chris Papa
'Bout youth that was carelessly spent.
Then I was bolder,
Now I'm much older,
The HALCYON days have all went!
--- Observer
Do grow in stature as all see yon
Dimming horizon,
That we have our eyes on,
We would recall lims chance to carry on.
--- Daniel Ford
Bygone now for almost an eon,
When we were so young,
Around bandstand hung,
And knew not that I was a peon.
--- Daniel Ford
That make you feel like a lyre strummer,
Though there, without doubt,
We find heat and drought,
And enough bugs to make it a bummer.
--- Chris Papa
Who tries to stay hardy and HALE.
When vigor will fade,
There's chemical aid
With Viagra, no need to fail.
--- Chris Papa
Full of broccoli, cabbage and kale,
Even Brussels sprouts
Won't relieve your doubts
About gases, which such plants entail.
--- Daniel Ford
Who, by doing dead ho's, did cash save.
After riding a rail,
He's shown that he's hale,
And now hopes to find date for a rave.
--- Elois
And your engine may not always run!
But there is no recourse.
The alternative's worse;
Six feet under, you might miss the sun!
--- Maggie
And you may find that they take you far.
With a bit of HALE,
You really won't fail,
And your organs won't be in a jar.
--- Maggie
Much like stationery's watermark,
This makes it unique
So the curious peek
To see whether it's in the ball park.
--- Daniel Ford
Nonetheless, there's a distinctive HALLMARK.
A ring in the left ear
Is the sign, very clear,
That one's available for a stroll through the park.
--- Norm Brust
Has match in word play of Petrach,
Though English sonnets
May have burned bonnets
And called down wrath of the monarch.
--- Daniel Ford
Is the size of Pinocchio's nose.
Slick Willy's fat rig,
Is not only big,
Like neon, it rubrently glows.
--- Chris Papa
This is file iul
There's nothing in pharmacopoeia;
Drugs don't override
Over weening pride,
For which there is no panacea.
--- Daniel Ford
Hangs on the shop wall or standsill,
Surrounded by petals,
Just waiting for Gretels
To come shopping for their small Hansel.
--- Daniel Ford
But guess that I'd need magic wand,
Or use plane or ship
To take a long trip
Across the wide Atlantic pond.
--- Chris Papa
The kind of guy girl's love to marry.
He'd never leaver her,
Since stroking her beaver,
Was enough to get harry to tarry.
--- Chris Papa
And pleasing to nerve ends synaptic.
When with Miss or Mrs,
You share a few kisses,
So keep things well moistened with Chapstick.
--- Daniel Ford
A girl's HAPTIC hand
Will get things to stand
And make us lie down if we choose.
--- Barrie Eksteen
Then launches a pointless HARANGUE.
That's our Reverend Al (Al Sharpton, Rev bullshitter)
The unfailing pal,
Of a scruffy, victimized gang.
--- Norm Brust
Becomes comic from mouth of orang.
But such monkeyshines
Raise hackles on spines
Of fundamentalist baring fangs.
--- Daniel Ford
To inflated large egos give play,
Extreme and drastic
Always bombastic,
With nothing constructive to say.
--- Chris Papa
Said "Son, I should not come between,
But when girl you date
Always makes you wait,
You're training for post-marriage scene!"
--- Observer
With whose timing I'm not impressed,
Is hopping around,
'Mid snow on the ground,
With wormless stomach, hard pressed.
--- Chris Papa
A fine beer after fine beer thing.
For three days he's sogger
On Harp's finest lager,
A reliable Harp bringer of Spring.
--- Bob Dvorak
So wanteed to become a ninja,
But when up she would sneak,
One detected a reek.
Her flop-sweat was her HARBINGER.
--- Norm Brust
To rules by parents re: sparkin'.
So if my chance
They both drop their pants,
Maybe baby in crib they'll be parkin'.
--- Barb
To ready advice about larkin'.
In puruit of catch,
They then meet their match,
When told they're up wrong tree a-barkin'.
--- Chris Papa
The good news has come about sparkin'.
If you but believe,
You'll find safe reprieve,
And evil will ne'er your door darken.
--- Daniel Ford
Enjoys a sex life quite arid an'
You can surely bet
She will not get wet,
Appealing to spouse, a harried man.
--- Daniel Ford
By which she spreads harsh words among
Her friends and her foes,
As everyone knows
With joy-killing hang-ups is strung.
--- Elois
By HARRIDAN's loud and barbed tongue.
And is ever glum
'Cause when he wants "some,"
Gets only a limp organ, hung.
--- Chris Papa
Were oft contorted and quite complex.
Liver-shaped Rosetta
Predicted vendetta
In three tongues, as a woman expects.
--- Daniel Ford
Was known to have one constant gripe.
"No ifs, ands, or butts,
I read the best guts,
Yet still just get paid for the tripe!"
--- Chris Papa
And augur more major than minor.
In truth, best of all,
Crowds come, one and all,
For chitterlings in my sleek diner.
--- Chris Papa
Disgusting form of divination,
Is best left to those
Who suck on their toes,
And use liver for masturbation.
--- Norm Brust
Before Matador does intrude.
Only bull must die
On the final try,
Then he becomes Mexican food.
--- Larry
At many a medieval court.
But sometimes, by chance,
A guy caught a lance,
With quite grievous wounds to report.
--- Chris Papa
And greater the gains psychiatric.
When we consider
That old men and widder
No longer enjoy such a fat prick.
--- Daniel Ford
For romance coupling geriatric,
Brings great psychic boon,
More desire to spoon,
And many salutes to St Patrick.
--- Daniel Ford
How he into nuns cloistered cells,
And with persuasion slick,
Performed a HAT TRICK,
By scoring with three lonely belles.
--- Chris Papa
As do three goals by hockey's Patrick.
But deflowering belles
Flight of fancy spells,
Since that Mad Monk is geriatric.
--- Daniel Ford
Met three nuns in the parish cafeteria.
Always thinking of his wick,
He set up a HAT TRICK.
Now the convent is close to hysteria.
--- Norm Brust
So when over eighty we grow,
It is no surprise
We get scoring prize,
With HAT TRICKS three years in a row.
--- Chris Papa
May be desired in tuneful flavor,
Where soulful vibrato
In subtle legato
Of hemidemisemiquaver.
--- Daniel Ford
When it comes to use the verb HAVER,
Though it may be clever
I'm sure that I'll never
Use it, or maybe I'll waver.
--- Chris Papa
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