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A limerick's a very low verse form; On a poetic soap-box I climb Well that one I've flushed down the pan; Of scansion, and meter, and feet, My boss, said a lady domestic, I admit that my scansion was shit, Of all the games under the sun, To scan is to keep to the meter Just checking, I'm new to the site; Alas, though, your meter, young man, I tend to be quite a repeater, A wonderous thing is the Limerick. Christina, while you're on the floor, "I WONDER WHO'S KISSING HER NOW". Anapestical verse is like leaven -- We may find it's not rhyme that bewitches When down and tongue-tied in fast mode, These limericks are easy, I think; Your over-syllabic excess At risk of an outlook punctilious, Whenever a limerick you've done, Absurdly, as day turns to night Meter is not just that bit What is it about this meter If a man writes a limerick that's "dirty," No malice in this brief critique, In backward rhymes he would immerse While 8.8.5.5.8. can be scanned, I'm really not here to make waves; I sat at the table domestic, These limericks take me so long, A poet efficient, perplexed A thing that left many perplexed, And somewhat perplexed.
Just five lines a tale you compress, A limerick of five lines will do A foreshortened limerick's not pure; A poet who lived in Verdun Whatever you don't do or do do, O
The man who writes six lines, I'll bet, A meeting I'll always regret.
It is simple to write limericks new; .front to back lines wrote poet One So, take it from Archie and me, A limerick is something quite vicious; The first, second, and last lines should rhyme There once was a limerick purist Of all the verse forms I know, The limerick which brings most hilarity How to write limericks, they all asked me, Limericks are written for fun; There are rules that you have to obey -- A limerick must follow some rules; We'll give you a welcoming cheer But should you depart from the norm Take care of the pattern of rhyming, And finally maybe you've seen What's this that we hear at the door? A lim has five lines in its length The older type lims were quite dirty But lims are supposed to be funny If you will engage all your power, I'll have to construct a limerick, AspacesavingpoetnamedBliss This here is a rule you can't bend: A muddled young poet named Clyde (upside down mirror writing but screw it - McW)
The limerick should give you a chuckle, And whats with this "Don't need to rhyme"?
Some have better, while some have far worse form.
So try if you can
To make every line scan,
Or upon my lips you'll hear a curse form.
--- Don Boen P8112
For a limerick isn't just a rhyme.
It has rhythm in threes,
Which should come if you squeeze,
But to add dirty meanings takes time.
--- Virge
It's simply too awful, young man;
But not because Cat
Ate whatever was shat,
But because of its dubious scan.
--- Anon
My knowledge is quite incomplete.
From you I will learn
And respect I will earn
From you all, the rhyming Elite!
--- Beowulf
Writes limericks and they are majestic.
But his rhythm in bed
Is a thing that I dread;
There is no way to fuck anapestic.
--- Albin Chaplin
Just trying variations a bit;
And like it or not,
I'll not stop this rot,
But if John gets his gun then I'll quit.
--- David Miller
Writing limericks must be the most fun.
To really get whythm,
You need just one rhythm:
A one-two-three, one-two-three, ONE.
--- Norm Storer
(The limerick can't stand a cheater);
If your beat's out of sync,
Your verses will stink,
And all of your fame will out-peter.
--- Norm Storer
Didn't know what I get in tonight.
These limericks are fun,
Though perverted by some.
They are just a kinky delight.
--- Mimi
(Or lady,) is rough; if you can,
Try fitting each word
To that rhythm absurd:
"I'm Popeye, the sa-i-lor man."
--- Anon
Though rarely I'll falter or teeter.
But I'll say it once more,
What I love and adore
Are limericks that have the right metre.
--- Bob Birch P0204
Writing a new one is a hard schtick.
It has a twist, do you see;
Brings you down to your knee,
And making it scan is the real trick.
--- Tobias
And rolling in laughter, explore
The limerick fashion,
For which we've a passion,
And write one with scan we'd adore.
--- Anon
In writing a limerick -- that's how.
As you write along,
Keep singing this song.
This beat's what the purists allow.
--- Irving Superior
It raises girls passions toward heaven.
And it's even sweeter,
When I beat the meter
(My meter is three-nine three-seven).
--- Martin Wellborn P8808
Or causes libidinous twitches.-
What sets her a-tingle
Is not a guy's jingle,
But the meter he's got in his britches.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9106
My vocal chords can overload.
And though I can't talk,
I can still take my cock
And bang out a rhyme in morse code.
--- Anon
Just a Mexican hatdance (with drink).
But to my amazement
Such rhythic abasement
Is frequent, and most attempts stink.
--- Nevile Genie
Has spoilt what is nevertheless,
A good line in rhyming;
It's just that your timing
Needs practice for future success.
--- Anon
Or being a tad supercilious,
I gotta point out,
Without any doubt
This scansion, quite frankly, is bilious.
--- Anon
Please scan all the lines, one by one.
You'll know they are wrong,
If too short or too long,
Then unfocused meter you'll shun.
--- Chris Papa
Or night turns to day, who is right?
As long as the meter
Enjoins cunt and peter,
Bad sense must give way to good shite!
--- Anon
About making the syllables fit.
The rhythm is needed
So when it's repeated,
It sounds like the meter's legit.
--- LadyJ
That brings to mind a man's peter?
A woman's big boobs,
Lust, dildos and lubes?
Do we all need some salt peter?
--- SKUMBUNNY
My wrath is not to overly stirred: he
Will ne'er gross me out --
But you can, without doubt --
If your scansion is overly wordy.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8505
But I flinch when one's metre is weak.
Some obviously miss
A limerist's bliss,
Not knowing of that which I speak.
--- Bob Birch P0204
Himself and would keep his style terse.
His scheme anapestic
Was not quite majestic
But, like Bob's Spoonericks, was inverse.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0402
9.9.6.6.9. is more grand.
Thirteen feet, beating three,
Anapestically,
With each syllable carefully planned.
--- Scott
It's meter and scanning I crave.
But lately this hole
Is out of control --
I think there are too many Daves.
--- David Miller
And pondered a session incestic.
What rhythm to try
With young cousin Di,
Trochaic or maybe anapestic.
--- Archie
Because rhythm for me is no song;
But I'll labor and sweat
Till proficient I get --
I'll just climb there wrong by wrong.
--- Gunjan Saraf
Many folks, and it seems they were vexed,
For his theme, we deplore
Would end at line four.
The fifth line was first of the next,
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0022
For shortly his theme
Would run out of steam.
Since this line must rhyme with "the next",
It soon left the poor poet vexed
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0022
This is file ism
But compressing too much is a mess.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0017
But never with four, three, or two.
For three is too short --
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0018
Its need to exist is obscure.
It is very important
That it not be foreshortened.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0020
Wrote limericks that stopped at line one.
Since that's how it is,
This limerick's not his.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0019
The fifth line is always a hoodoo,
It is gotten by pluck
And remarkable luck
And a generous helping of voodoo.
--- Limber Limericks
Has not been located as yet.
But I sense now and then,
He's still weilding his pen,
And he's someone that one time I met,
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0021
You first write line one, then line two.
Line three is no chore,
And neither is four.
When you get to line five you are through.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0016
.brunt the took ,abuse to exposed And
track the on remain To
;back to front write must One
.dunt say I ,perverse verse write who Those
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0025
Absurdity is the right key.
For songs to be sung
With rhythm, when young,
But oldsters drink limericks with tea!
--- Anon
When done right, it can be quite delicious.
But it seems, Oh so sad,
That with pencil and pad,
I just can't seem to get with this.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With the third and fourth, too, in their time.
And if a limerick purist
Thinks yours is the poorest,
You just might be charged with a crime.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who was also an Internet tourist.
He cited the rules
For posting these jewels,
Like we needed a poetry jurist.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
There's one which gives me a glow.
So I do my best trick
And wax anapestic.
Dee Doe Doe Dee Doe Doe Dee Doe.
--- Bill Munsil P9009
Is brewed with ingenious dexterity.
It contains an event
With improbable bent
And a dash of erotic vulgarity.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9106
So I answered them all with much glee:
"Take five phrases that rhyme,
Put each on a line,
And insert the two between three."
--- Tom Campbell
Lines two and five rhyme with line one.
Then you rhyme some more --
Rhyme three and line four --
And that is how limericks are done.
--- Al Bienstock
Like the rhyme scheme A-A-B-B-A.
A lines have nine beats;
B lines -- six repeats.
Write limericks -- you must do that way.
--- Al Bienstock
A writer can find helpful tools;
With instructions galore,
Examples and more,
Tutorials, lessons and schools.
--- Bob Birch P0204
If you follow the rule which is clear;
You must post only rhyme
In a limerick time
As is shown by these verses just here.
--- Dick Hull
We'll consider it very bad form;
We'll flame you and roast
You if prose you must post
And if spam we will kick up a storm.
--- Dick Hull
As well as the meter and timing;
Just give it a try;
There's no need to be shy;
Soon that limerick bell you'll be chiming.
--- Dick Hull
That a lot of our verse isn't clean;
But we can and do vary
The themes, but be wary;
Of old ones we're never too keen.
--- Dick Hull
A new limmer, there's one, maybe more.
You're here just on time
But make sure you rhyme --
Ensure that your lim'ricks don't bore.
--- Dick Hull
Its rhythm is much of its strength
Its subjects are crude
(And can be quite rude) -
Some rhymes can be made up, like brength!
--- Dick Hull
So here we are often limflirty
But subjects obscure
Like a Politic cure
Can sometimes be seen to be purty!
--- Dick Hull
Like, when you are screwing your honey
And up in the air
A bee sees you there -
And stings you right there on your bummy!
--- Dick Hull
And let your poetic sense flower,
The chances are slim
That writing a lim
Consumes even a tenth of an hour!
--- Ward Hardman
Some time when I can learn the trick.
For now as it is,
I have no time to whiz,
Or to play with my very limp dick.
--- Anon
Thoughtnothingatallwasamiss,
Formuchpaperhesaved,
Buttheyjudgedhimdepraved
Whenhetriedtojamletterslikethis.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0023
Rhyme line one and line two with the end.
The third and the fourth
Must rhyme also, of course,
And please mind the meter, my friend.
--- Phil T
In upside-down writing took pride.
The strain of this work
Snapped his brain with a jerk.
He was hung by the heels when he died.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0024
Perhaps even make your knees buckle;
To this end, it must hang
On everyday slang
(Coitus won't do it, but fuck'll).
--- Norm Storer
You started off doing just fine!
If you do it half-hearted,
You just sound retarded.
Your rhythm sucks too! Keep in time!
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