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When merry maid contrives to mate him, For limericks to be EFFICACIOUS, With effect desired, EFFICACIOUS, They say Viagra is EFFICACIOUS, EFFRONTERY decency checks, EFFRONTERY, shameless and bold So don't be affronted, you guys, Katrina begged for indulgence The blonde clothed in gold chains aplenty; With radiant, splendid EFFULGENCE To make sure he'd not seem a dull gent, EGREGIOUS, meaning horrid, flagrant, I once met a man from Bere Regis, Bombs under cruel NATO aegis, We're mired in bad Balkan bog, He was hardly what you'd call athletic, The ingenue suffered through nights; As a teen-aged fountain clerk, The bartender may drunks EIGHTY-SIX, To be EIGHTY-SEXED is all right, Poor smokers now get EIGHTY-SIXED, He bartended paying for school, The pyramids, monuments grand! With chances for wealth, EL DORADO EL DORADO, for which many scheme, Supported, ELEEMOSYNARY, ELEEMOSYNARY's a word, Penultimate spot, ELEVENTH HOUR, I file my tax at the ELEVENTH HOUR, A suspenseful plot really hums; He gazed at church relic triptychal, Those ovide figures ELLIPTICAL I just bought a trainer elliptical. He wooed her with ELOQUENT pitch, An EMBONPOINT figure like pillow There once was a fellow named Juan A senorita from San Juan, Soft EMBONPOINT's much preferred form, EMBONPOINT with excessive poundage When trans-sexual folks EMBRANGLE, I'm sorry to have to embrangle The folks who have an empty plate, My grankfolks from Sicily came, They wern't illegal wetbacks; So that is the story, my friend; EMINENCE GRISE, if you please, Osama does as he would please, In politics, the EMINENCE GRISE The power that's behind the throne Her chastity's chains to unshackle, The daring chivalry of EMPRISE It may come as no small surprise, He was more foolhardy than wise, Because he had the two bucks paid, Celestial heights EMPYREAL, He soared towards EMPYREAL heights, Mother's side relatives are ENATE. ENCAUSTIC is work done with care, Pigmented wax painting ENCAUSTIC Those boos comprise no ENCOMIUM, Lavishing praise, ENCOMIUM, The speaker up at the podium, Comes that state of love that we're in, ENDOGENOUS drives from within Ernie would ENERVATE Edie, He oft became ENERVATED There nothing to me that's feebler
But later as wife, will berate him,
From history we learn;
From wedded bliss yearn,
Comes, if she'll EDULCORATE him.
--- Chris Papa
They need be a wee bit salacious,
With nothing too tame
So others exclaim,
"Did he write that? Oh, gracious!"
--- Chris Papa
It seems that action's not fellatious.
Though high blood pressure
May wipe smile Cheshire.
From some old guys feeling flirtatious.
--- Daniel Ford
But I, for one, am tenacious
In avoiding drugs.
I much prefer hugs,
And stimulation unabashedly fellatious.
--- Norm Brust
When our CEO all reasons vex.
Fellatio ain't
Despite notions quaint,
Equivalent to having sex!
--- Chris Papa
Is needed in leaders, I'm told.
The supression of shame
Is the name of the game --
They're all of them pressed from one mould.
--- Eva Amata
If your leaders are shameless, not wise.
Politics in your country
Requires EFFRONTERY:
The way to the top is through lies.
--- Eva Amata
By moon's radiant effulgence.
Her unrequited love
From Heaven above
And G&S with Mikado made sound sense.
--- Barb
Hung on her neck ten or twenty.
She begged no indulgence
For jeweled EFFULGENCE
Garnered from rich cognoscenti.
--- Chris Papa
The happy mushroom in divulgence,
Belies its position
To hunters on mission
To harvest forest floor, emulgence. (extraction)
--- Daniel Ford
In paintings an aura EFFULGENT
Surrounds those hallowed,
As artists explode
In bright excess self-indulgent.
--- Chris Papa
Apt for foreign policy vagrant,
Who reacts ad hoc,
With eyes on the clock,
Leaving egg on face foully fragrant.
--- Daniel Ford
And asked "What the devil's "egregious"?"
He said, "It's too boring
To tell," started snoring,
Considering the whole thing to teejus.
--- Tiddy Ogg
For Bill, legacy prestigious,
To help us forget,
How blue dress got wet,
And moral lapses EGREGIOUS.
--- Chris Papa
But if we'd our memories jog,
We'd see once again,
The inflicted pain,
Is just new case of "Wag the Dog!"
--- Chris Papa
But his sports-stats memory was EIDETIC.
He was one of those bores
Who knew all the scores,
And his friends all thought him pathetic.
--- Norm Brust
His promise ending in "mights".
While producer slept,
No promises kept,
With dreams of EIDETIC delights.
--- Chris Papa
(I hate the term "soda jerk")
One of my tricks
Was to yell "86"
When the time came for me to quit work.
--- Norm Brust
Though latter may think it dirty tricks,
And sling a bottle
At bartender's wattle;
No thought to resulting cicatrix.
--- Daniel Ford
For age to go into the night.
That's more than four-score,
And if we get more,
We sure look a terrible sight.
--- Chris Papa
Since the law says that cafes must nix
The lighting up butts,
So nicotine nuts
Must amble outside for their fix.
--- Chris Papa
Till state changed the who's at fault rule:
If customer's lit,
The server gets hit.
He EIGHTY-SIXED JOB; he's no fool.
--- Elois
Garbage dumps on the ohter hand,
Seen in EKISTICS,
No need for mystics,
Memorial sorely unplanned.
--- Chris Papa
Prompts many to act with bravado.
The get their cumeuppance
Which is not worth tuppence,
Executioner for The Mikado.
--- Daniel Ford
Though worthy goal it may oft seem,
With wealth all around
As conquistadors found,
May only be some foolish pipe dream.
--- Chris Papa
Are church, abbey, and seminary,
Though often the most
They get is the host
For their efforts to keep in airy.
--- Daniel Ford
Whose use is a bit of absurd,
To keep us confused,
But lawyers it's used,
When charity's "party of third".
--- Chris Papa
May produce results a little sour,
When procrastination
Has been the temptation,
That robbed any planning of power.
--- Daniel Ford
Hoping others will also shower
The IRS with their forms
And in these paper storms,
My deductions will smell like a flower.
--- Norm Brust
Of hope there is just a few crumbs.
Yet one has belief
There will be relief;
A ELEVENTH HOUR cavalry comes.
--- Chris Papa
Whose meaning was ELLIPTICAL,
Unable to see
What symbols might be,
Except to a medievalist cryptical.
--- Chris Papa
Presage messages quite mystical,
Though how Easter Bunny
Got involved is funny,
And perhaps apocalyptical.
--- Daniel Ford
Because of the fat rolls that are typical
Of any new mom,
Who once was a bomb,
But now might not pass a physical.
--- Sheryl A Lemma
This is file ifl
And later when groin began to itch,
Used more forceful terms
'Cause she had some germs
That came from resisitant drug, niche.
--- Chris Papa
Won't fly away quick when sails billow
And won't harm a thingy
As do women springy,
Those slender young wisps of the willow.
--- Daniel Ford
Who only loved gals EMBONPOINT.
If you were slim
You were not for him!
Just the thought of a tryst made him yawn!
--- Barb
Was inclined to soft EMBONPOINT;
All flesh, nothing phoney,
No prominence bony,
To jab you while getting it on.
--- Chris Papa
No concave depressions to gorm. (daub with sticky matter)
So when having sex
A shape that's convex
Makes it neater and nice to perform.
--- Fran
Makes people look biggage and roundage.
Without diet care,
It's unlikely or rare,
He or she will live on to a sound age.
--- Fran
They fight to decided who wil dangle,
Or who will receive,
In game of deceive,
But work out a mutual angle.
--- Chris Papa
My friend Chris in hissy-fit wrangle.
But he shouldn't make jokes
About trans-sexual folks
Whose crotches have been put through a mangle.
--- Norm Brust
Seek to U.S. to EMIGRATE.
It's all right with me,
If patient they'd be,
And in the long legal line wait.
--- Chris Papa
Seeking their fortune or fame.
Quit poverty deep
To climb the hill steep,
But they played by the rules of the game.
--- Chris Papa
They waited; filed papers in stacks.
Our laws they obeyed;
Worked hard at their trade;
Thrived and were quick to pay tax.
--- Chris Papa
The thought that I wish to send.
If we have more room
For those in deep gloom,
We never should fairness suspend.
--- Chris Papa
Is the power behind what we sees.
As with Bush and Cheney
Though I'm not complainy,
Which guy has more college degrees?
--- Peter Wilkins
A sort of EMINENCE GRISE.
Wrapped, it is said,
In a nice diapered head,
And flowing beard down to his knees.
--- Chris Papa
Has more power than boss, the big cheese.
He calls the shots
And hatches the plots
With far fewer people to please.
--- Norm Brust
By EMINENCE GRISE is well known.
When the coup comes with guns,
He flees, flies and runs
When he knows that his cover is blown.
--- Peter Wilkins
She planned an EMPRISE she could tackle.
She chose a guy who
Was virginal, too.
And venture turned into debacle.
--- Elois
Should make a romantic enterprise,
A great adventure
Without debenture,
Yet the bills do come due, I surmise.
--- Daniel Ford
To dwell in Alaska is EMPRISE!
This winter, the snow
That we shoveled, you know,
Was opportunity for exercise!
--- Barb
So when he sought a sexual EMPRISE,
For lady love svelt,
With delta of smelt,
He got the worst that two bucks buys.
--- Chris Papa
I thought he had hired a mermaid;
Part fish though she be,
No delta had she,
But she knew all the tricks of the trade.
--- Elois
Achieved majesty imperial.
These won't come to pass
If you release gas,
From eating way too much cereal.
--- Daniel Ford
With Wifie on Saturday nights,
When instead of hopin',
He found she was open
To what he thought was his by rights.
--- Chris Papa
Some of the worst are characters innate,
That love to argue
'Bout facts and our view
Of world as corrupting on in eight.
--- Daniel Ford
To add something for world to share.
Though others wax use,
In attempt to lose,
What they feel is unlovely hair.
--- Chris Papa
Appeals e'en to viewers agnostic.
For they too, can see
The technique's beauty
And texture's feeling diagnostic.
--- Daniel Ford
But only some sort of a phony one,
That might havoc play
With usual way,
Those boos are more likely opprobrium
--- Daniel Ford
When all about's pandemonium,
Itself is worthy
Of praise quite earthy
And prizes plated with chromium.
--- Daniel Ford
Lethal as deadly Plasmodium, (malaria - McW)
Droned on to excess
And as you might guess,
Received only boos as ENCOMIUM.
--- Chris Papa
Which helps our old world take its spin.
From hormones ENDOGENOUS
Brings feelings erogenous
At place that's three spans from the chin.
--- Chris Papa
We reject, since they may lead to sin.
These restraints, exogenous,
Tend to lodge in us,
Causing thoughts of what might have been.
--- Norm Brust
Revealing some perversions seedy,
That they might indulge
'Cept for her pregnant bulge,
Left him in satyr's state needy.
--- Chris Papa
Before his desire was sated.
Says Doc, "Here' blue pill,
So go get your fill."
His nights are now triple X-rated.
--- Norm Brust
Than an aging ENFANT TERRIBLE,
Like this nut, Le Pen,
Who gets jollies when
He makes Frenchmen shout, "Horrible!"
--- Norm Brust
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