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I am still quite able to spend!
Then those vendors see me--They VEND!
When it comes to money,
Let me tell you, honey,
The bankers assure me, they'll lend!
--- Barb

Those teens who seek dark FILEMOT skin,
At beach or tan parlors can't win.
They'd better seek shade,
Or dermis degrade,
And look like "Ma Kettle" and kin.
--- Chris Papa

the weather today makes me frown,
'Cause our filemot leaves are all brown.
And those still on the trees,
I know will all freeze;
Till Mother Nature dons Winter's gown!
--- Barb

Chelsea Clinton knows more than she'll say
About White House games, risque.
So we know that Willy's
Count on loyalty FILIAL
To keep all those newshounds at bay.
--- Norm Brust

For filial love we all care,
And are very willing to share
With our offspring dear,
Though it should be clear,
Support stops when our cupboard's bare.
--- Chris Papa

Of sons and daughters is filial,
Descriptor of rites familial,
Including the times
In all of our climes,
When we gather flowers lilial.
--- Daniel Ford

The verbal highjack, FILIBUSTER,
Fills legislature with much bluster,
As those Congressional
Pirates obsessional
Kill public will with upthruster.
--- Daniel Ford

Instead of this dumb FILIBUSTER,
His intentions might have passed muster,
If he hid them within
A limerick on sin,
With sly words that would surely enluster.
--- J'Carlin

FIN DE SIECLE ends the century.
The last one led to indentury.
With far greater gaps
'Twixt poor and rich chaps,
Though latter now oft find censury.
--- Daniel Ford

A Frenchman from far Saint Denis,
Unlike sane folks (that's you and me),
Oft dined on frogs' legs,
Left no skinnier dregs,
And burped as he shouted, "FINIS!"
--- Chris Papa

Yon Frenchman who shouted "FINIS!"
Ate frogs legs -- thigh, shin, and knee.
But hold all the phones,
Did he also eat the bones?
No Frog would consume such debris.
--- Norm Brust

To possess a wide and deep FIRTH,
Where many large vessels may berth,
Enhances a land,
'Tis real estate grand,
Increasing locality's worth.
--- Chris Papa

Great headlands bound watery FIRTH,
Found in Scotland -- Norway's no dearth,
Connects to the sea
For transport of tree
To far off Australia's Perth.
--- Daniel Ford

The Scots do often put forth FIRTH
As subject of bright gaelic mirth,
Amid dance frisky
And glass of whiskey
And arm about fair lady's girth.
--- Daniel Ford

Small FISSURE is crab's anal verge,
Crustacean who's wont to submerge,
Needs watertight spot
To discharge a lot,
Or fill up till it must regurge.
--- Chris Papa

When Jesus called Peter to his side,
Creating philosophic divide,
It was watershed,
Like parting Sea Red,
A FISSURE of men we cannot hide.
--- Daniel Ford

The press cognescenti attacked
A colleague, who in print had FLACKED
A soap of some kind,
To wash his behind,
Which was only seldom cleaned, in fact.
--- Chris Papa

The FLACKER whose tush isn't clean,
Can show just what needs to be seen;
He can demonstrate
The soap is first rate,
Improving his rear end hygiene.
--- Elois

But when I might add jalapeno,
Result is like a bomb neutrino,
Quite foul and sinister.
Wife will administer
Antidote quick they call 'Beano'.
--- Chris Papa

FLAGEOLET is a musical tool,
That's usually played, as a rule,
But I do aver
I use it to stir
Flageolets in the 'pasta fazool".
--- Chris Papa

9/11 crimes FLAGITIOUS,
Calls for action against forces, pernicious.
Though just our cause,
We must apply our laws,
To assure our response is judicious.
--- Norm Brust

Of FLAGITIOUS actions accused,
The bold youth seemed rather amused.
And in reply, curt,
Said no one was hurt,
If he chose to become self-abused.
--- Chris Papa

A hobo who lived the life vagrant,
Of infrequent bathing, was fragrant.
Then duly accused
Of nostrils abused,
And charged with bad B.O., FLAGRANT.
--- Chris Papa

FLAGRANTE DELICTO, they were --
The star and her handsome chauffeur.
Her legs, long and slim,
Were wrapped around him --
I tiptoed away, I aver.
--- Nick

With long-lens intrusive, the press
Has photographed oral caress
To nail-painted toe
By swim-suited beau.
FLAGRANTE delicto, Duchess!

(Fergie scandal)
--- Nick

An old podiatrist that I knew,
Preferred good foot sex to a screw.
To save "Going South",
He put foot in his mouth,
And while at it, trimmed her toenails too.
--- Chris Papa

A beautiful girl, gorgeous migrant,
FLAGRANTLY parked by a hydrant.
She said, "Oh I'm lost.
What's this ticket cost?"
"It's free for a tourist so vibrant."
--- Elois

FLAVOR OF THE MONTH you will find
Are fads of the fast fading kind,
Which after acquired,
Then quickly tired,
Are lagging and soon left behind.
--- Chris Papa

Do things in FLEET STREET run apace?
The name even sounds like a race.
But right at its core
Are the press -- what a bore --
With those crappy news items they place.
--- Barrie Eksteen

In FLEET STREET where dwells British press,
We find stuff about Royal's mess.
I really don't care
About what they bare,
It bores me to tears, I confess.
--- Chris Papa

On FLEET STREET, where fevered newsies
Report on princes and their floozies.
Rising circulation
Results in elation
And baby get a new pair of shoesies.
--- Norm Brust

FLENSE, after all's done and said,
I keep getting from certain fat head,
He steadily regales
About skinning whales,
Rich diet of blubber we're fed.
--- Chris Papa

The Thanksgiving homage payer
Owes much to FLETCHER, deer slayer,
Who does meat proffer,
To match fruit coffer,
In feast that's fit for the mayor.

(arrow maker)
--- Daniel Ford

This is file ial

The straight arrow maker is FLETCHER,
Who may leave battlefield on a stretcher.
With firm grip on haft,
She makes the smooth shaft
For targeting right by the lecher.
--- Daniel Ford

A horny young Christian named Fletcher
Was sent as a breadfruit fetcher.
Bounteous Bly said, "No dice."
So he put him on ice,
And became the first Pitcairn lecher.

(arrow maker)
--- Steve O

Young Cupid, of myth, was a FLETCHER,
Could turn any man to a lecher.
With darts of amore,
He'd rack up a score,
Of turgid bull rams, you betcher...!

(arrow maker)
--- Chris Papa

The arrowsmith is a FLETCHER,
Though when Natty was a retcher,
From poison abuzz,
Friend Chingachgook was
J. F Cooper's medicine fetcher.

(arrow maker)
--- Daniel Ford

Choose any old dog breed you please,
From Doberman to Pekinese.
When it come to a pet,
Give me muzzle wet,
'Cause I'd rather have FLEWS than fleas.
--- Norm Brust

When upper lips droop as do FLEWS,
I think of Winston on the news;
With bulldog jowls
And bullfrog howls
And speaking in manifold hues.
--- Daniel Ford

My fondness for dogs, I won't stop,
But certain breeds aren't near the top.
I'd just never choose
Those with droopy FLEWS,
The kind you must follow with mop.
--- Chris Papa

The FLORESCENCE of flesh in the teens,
When breast's bud are of size of beans,
With new crop of hair,
Both here and both there,
Brings thought of what this "love" thing means.
--- Chris Papa

With blooming success, one's FLORESCENCE
Seems to flourish with incandescence.
Yet beware tempting
The fate's preempting,
Let they deflate ego's tumescence.
--- Daniel Ford

Collected writings, FLORILEGIUM,
Gathered by members of collegium,
Are meant to attest
To fame of the best,
In hope of Nobel prize Norwegium.
--- Daniel Ford

The noun FLORILEGIUM tells
Of writings collected o'er spells,
Word floribunda,
Just makes me wonder
However each collection smells.
--- Chris Papa

FLORILEGIUM is a shelf full
Of books, where you might a tome pull,
Except that TV,
Where folks seem to be,
Keeps them stupid, and that is no bull.
--- Chris Papa

Britishers famous for angling touch
On pronunciation arts and such,
Do cause me clenched teeth,
But sword I ensheath,
For fear of cry "Doth protest too much!"
--- Daniel Ford

The beaches all over the world,
Have FLOTSAM of condoms unfurled,
And vials of used "crack",
Used needles, a stack,
And anything man-ape has hurled.
--- Chris Papa

Our beaches all over the world,
Are ugly and sorrowfully spoiled
With FLOTSAM, like vials,
Old needles in piles,
And condoms, both use and tin-foiled.
--- Chris Papa

Floating debris is call FLOTSAM,
Unless it is you who has got some,
For then the measure
Is sea-born treasure,
Which jetsam inspires to jot some.
--- Daniel Ford

The FLOTSAM asea, more and more,
Resembles a tawdry drug store:
Used condoms enough,
Syringes and stuff
That ends up defiling the shore.
--- Chris Papa

Avoiding the high entrance fee,
Lass watched from the branch of a tree.
She FLOUNCED on descent,
And tight skirt was rent.
Her legs a fine freebie to see.
--- Elois

With each juicy jiggle and FLOUNCE,
The buxom blonde's bosom would bounce;
Engaging the guys
Who fixed widened eyes
On her frame, all ready to pounce.
--- Chris Papa

Exaggerated bouncing of FLOUNCE
Expends great energy for each ounce.
So guys be forewarned,
If you'd not be scorned,
Or perhaps worse, find yourself trounced.
--- Daniel Ford

Confusion arising as FLUMMOX
May come from what's put in the stomachs.
Do please take heed
With what you would feed,
Or else ingesters become hummocks.
--- Daniel Ford

They have all their symbols, OK?
The far right, and in their own way,
They're loyal to friends
(Not means but the ends).
Soft John hoists the Fylfot each day!

Archie
--- Archie

What in blue Hell is a "Flyfot?"
A fly passing gas in a dry spot?
Was this meant to demean
Mr Clinton, so keen,
Who possibly suffers from flyrot?
--- Kiss Karen

Oh, "Fylfot's" the word that you meant!
A cross, so artistically bent,
That it made people shiver,
Just emotionally quiver,
As off to the workcamps they went.
--- John Miller

A FOGRAM, grey beard on the wing,
Just thought that he knew everything.
But his knowledge was dated
And quite overrated.
He thought Herbert Hoover's still King.
--- Chris Papa

Frail fuddy-duddy known as FOGRAM
Does refuse to get with the program.
Exceeding pedantic,
He drives youngsters frantic,
And even to thoughts of a pogram.
--- Daniel Ford

I guess I am just an old fogy;
I like b-movies that star old Bogey.
You know I'm a FOGRAM
'Cause my morning program
Is the crossword and smoking a stogy.
--- Norm Brust

If you'd like relations enjoyable,
Ignore any friend's minor FOIBLE.
Don't try to mince words,
And never cross swords;
It could render you unemployable.
--- Gary Hallock

At a type of party called bawd-for-all,
Clothing's considered just FOLDEROL.
But thoughts of safe sex
Cause many to vex
And to party instead at a staider ball.
--- J'Carlin

Committees are okay, I guess,
But most are an untidy mess;
A squabbling cabal
With much FOLDEROL
And someone who just can't say "yes".
--- Chris Papa

Opposed as he is to FOLDEROL, he
Rejects anything that seems jolly.
He once had intercourse
But was so fill with remorse,
That he sleeps with a nice rubber dolly.
--- Norm Brust

FOMENT is rousing to action,
Most done by the "have nothing" faction.
With little to lose,
It's easy to choose,
But often a "fatal attraction".
--- Chris Papa

Fred, firebrand from Satan sent,
Would daily dissension FOMENT.
He'd head for the rallies
With pretty press tallies,
And find great fun in discontent.
--- Chris Papa


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