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Heidi Fleiss, the procurer has made Heidi Fleiss, the procurer has made A gigolo hailing from Rome Opined a male hooker named Paige: I know of a woman named Crumbs I also need practice to stand; I just have been waiting to hear The rich resort widow told Vance I'm weary and my ass just drags, You girls won't be too much affected Old Gertrude is Timothy's honey; Though Timothy can't get a rise There was a young fellow named Newt, A ruthless young man from B.C. When younger my Pa said, "Go out. When younger my Pa said, "No slobbin'; A greedy male hooker named Vern My God! but my job is so boring. If your wife is the type to get jealous, He used to be awfully coy Sounded good when she gave me her pitch, A madam of East Middlesex But when the old harlot fucked Ben, If indeed you must shop till you drop, I went down to make an inspection The solution I felt was quite clear; There's an ass kisser here in Des Moines Said a sexual athlete named Snell: I'll share what I earned gigoloing; A wealthy young squaw, a Piute, In the outback of Oz lies a digger To pay the net price makes no sense And I, when my deposit was due, There was an old man from L.A. In Scotland, a wee, bonny lass A midnight cowboy named Jervis Said an offspring-rich beggar from Quoi, (Truk Islands) Her face was as red as the light The Hardy Boys, on an adventure, "All I have is yours for the asking," Although her dear husband's adoring, Of the madam, a fellow named Prentice There once was a lady from Rio, Sally-Ann combines lust and aggression A hot little twat name of Lillian It pays to play Sex-in-a-Bed, What happened to Tillie May Moore In the moral defense of Miss Black, A prudish young beauty named Gail A novice young harlot of Flushing Enterprising young Katy from Kent, A young Danish lady named Mona, An at-home wife she is no more. Though this story has some people booing, She laughed sweetly and shut the door. It really sounds like a bummer, If the hubby has spirits to work off, While she tries hard to stifle her hiccup, An importunate frail from Scarsdale A woman whose name is Yvette A dumb high school drop-out named Crouse, An eighteen year old girl, a real raver, To earn money she took to the street, He was looking for nooky in Dallas A distinguished professor was Gluck; There was a young lady in Exeter
A brothel where girls can get laid.
Overuse by the male
Makes his hydraulics fail;
Unlike hookers, his action must fade.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
A brothel where girls can get laid.
A stud able to lay
Twelve girls in a day,
Deserves a bronze star and parade.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Could fill up a very large tome
With names of the clients,
Who craved his appliance;
They paid him to deeply push home.
--- Randog
"If annual net is your gauge,
The profits from sin
And shoving it in,
Are way above minimum wage."
--- Armand E Singer 800
Who will pay you for each time she comes;
And depending on skill,
And degree of her thrill,
The amount is in varying sums.
--- Cap'n Bean
It's on my poor back that I land.
I'm just a male slut
In permanent rut,
For a mouth or a cunt or a hand.
--- Anon
If your virtues cost was so dear,
If you garnered enough
To pay for your stuff,
Or you're still in hock to your rear.
--- Marlene
As she snatched off her pretty pink pants,
"I've been saying all day
I would NOT buy a lay...
But I reckoned without my damned ants!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 126
But I, too, must go pack my bags
All frumpy and worn
And tattered and torn;
Another night stuffing those hags!
--- Anon
I swear you chicks won't be neglected
I will take a short rest
And this vow you can test
I snuffed out with my penis erected
--- Anon
She's 90 and smells kinda funny.
She promises Tim
If he sees to her quim,
That she'll leave him with oodles of money.
--- Peter Wilkins
At the sight of her stringy old thighs,
A million bucks
For a couple of fucks,
Every week does the trick, I surmise.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who wished to be a prostitute.
He did very much vex
That he was the wrong sex,
And that all he could be was a fruit.
--- Albin Chaplin a
Would only perform for a fee.
"See it this way," he said,
"They just lie on the bed;
But think what it takes out of me."
--- Hugh Oliver 96c
Be a man; get a life; be a scout.
It will cure you of knobbin'
Your sister and Dobbin
(Our donkey) I haven't a doubt."
--- Anon
Go scouting and try bob-a-jobbin'."
I did. And guess what?
I found plenty of twat
And I did 'em for two bob-a-knobbin'.
--- Anon
Paints very lewd scenes on his stern.
The johns as they screw him
Pay more just to view him --
It doubles the dough he can earn.
--- Armand E Singer 120
Do you think I should quit and try whoring?
Should I peddle my ass,
To lady's with cash,
Who need to receive a good coring?
--- Anon
She should find the house marked "Serra Bellas".
And while you have your whores,
She can keep her own scores
With a gang of us hung Red-Neck fellas.
--- Anon
When the sailors would shout out, "Ahoy!"
These days he enlarges
The whole of his charges;
By dockside, he's known as "Bent Roy."
--- Doug Harris
So I ran out and porked me the bitch.
I then checked me pockets;
No signs of sex profits;
The only residual is this danm itch.
--- Anon
Was sued by an old man named Tex,
For her hindrance to scores
Of young men to be whores,
And he ended her bias towards sex.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1501
She cried out, "Oh Lord!" and "Amen!"
For this man was so learned,
That the tables were turned,
And she paid him to do it again.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1538
How about a nice shiny smooth cock?
It's definitly free;
A nice price, indeed!
And will stay hard until you beg, stop!
--- Anon
Queued for an hour. On reflection
Discovered it short,
I am shocked to report,
And confess I needed my specs on.
--- Anon
A refund of monies, I fear.
But he whipped out another,
From somewhere or other,
And stuck the damn thing in my ear!
--- Anon
Who spreads his loins for coin.
He said he would miss her,
As he sat in the pisser,
Sorting his coins from his loins.
--- Anon
"These girls do not satisfy well.
I'm happy that passion
Is still all the fashion,
But I'd like to stop buying, and sell."
--- Grand Prix Lim 540 G1868
My bank book ain't even worth showing.
The ladies I met
Whose pussies I wet,
Stiffed ME and they still are all owing!
--- Anon
Thought cocksucking utterly cute.
And if you lacked succor,
She'd laugh while you'd fuck her,
And tip you a dollar, to boot!
--- G0895
Who suffers from terminal rigor;
A tourist attraction
Who give satisfaction
To sheilas who ride him with vigor.
--- Peter Wilkins
When I'll, seeking no recompense,
Deliver my goo
Directly to you,
And only charge travel expense.
--- John Miller
Saw a girl standing there in the queue,
Said I, "How, gentle maid,
Have you come here to trade?"
She said, showing her mouth, "Uumph eurgh uuooo."
--- Jester Jon
This is file hym
Required all the ladies to pay.
He plied them with gin
But, it was no sin,
He just made his living that way.
--- Anon
Once hired me to fill 'er crevasse;
The job was fulfillin',
But too close to killin';
She nigh worked my bone to 'er ass!
--- Anon
Said, "Long-peckered guys make me nervous.
With a shit-eating grin
They shove it all in,
And my asshole's a wreck giving service!"
--- G0987
"O great sire, this plump little boy
Is a bargain for sure;
I can vouch that he's pure;
For a ten spot you get him -- Enjoy!"
--- Armand E Singer 116
That shows in her window at night.
This poor working girl
Was new at the whirl,
Though eager to please and excite.
--- Charlotte
Both wanted to land in her center.
They opened her legs,
Inserted their pegs,
And debauched the young lass magenta!
--- Charlotte
Said a beauty I met down at Basking.
"Oh, really?" said I,
She replied very shy,
"Yes and fifty is all that I'm asking."
--- Clarence E Boyle P8407
Her homemaker's life is too boring.
So, to give her some thrills
(And to help pay the bills),
She now does a sideline in whoring.
--- Lucas Hulp P9402
Requested one non compos mentis.
"They're all busy," she said,
"Sucking cocks that are dead.
Would you care to select an apprentice?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1638
Who got tired of screwing for free, so
She made up a list
Of prices for this
And for that -- now my bank account's zero!
--- Joe Long
In each passionate sexual session.
She is such a good lay
That her boyfriends all say,
She should take it up as a profession!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Said her pussy was worth a cool million.
A fellow named Rand
Who tried it, said, "Bland --
I will stick with my sexy Sicilian."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0242
For those peckers so turgidly red
Bring Gash Cash to a honey,
(A fun way to make money)
With just bugs and bastards to dread!
--- G1865
When she hung a red light by her door?
Well, the clients all came
Like moths to a flame
And by midnight her cash box was sore.
--- Grand Prix Lim 366
There would come into view a small crack.
So she swallowed her pride
And made cash on the side
Every time that she lay on her back.
--- Albin Chaplin
Claimed her morals would never prove frail.
But a coxswain named Xavier
So changed her behavior,
That she now spends her nights selling tail!
--- Grand Prix Lim 96
Enjoyed all the rushing and mushing,
Till the wear and the tear
Gave her naught but despair,
And she found that the work load was crushing.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1515
Who lived down the road in a tent;
Plagued with financial trouble,
Saw her income double,
When she hung up the sign "cunt for rent".
--- Anon
Distributed her favours for kroner!
Her dad twirled his moustache,
Finding her source of cash.
She's now locked in her room. She's a loner.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
She's taken a job as a whore.
In her underwear,
She spanks him right there;
Then she shows her hubby the door.
--- Anon
The wife here might know what she's doing.
The thought of a spanking,
Can get some folks wanking,
And wanking could lead on to screwing.
--- Anon
She wanted him begging for more.
Describe: rip and strip;
The crack of a whip.
He pleads for in-person encore.
--- Bonnie
That hubby endures this from her.
Since she's selling her gash,
He should show up with cash,
And prove that he's still a "comer."
--- Anon
He just may start her out with a jerk-off.
If he aims down her throat,
'Twill her tonsils coat,
And to clean them will soon inspire her cough.
--- Ward Hardman
Saying, "Long as you still have your dick up,
If you'll come on my tits,
And attack like the blitz,
Then at least I'll have something to lick up."
--- Ward Hardman
Felt the men were neglecting her tail.
By deliberate design
She wore a big sign
Which stated, "I'VE GOT IT FOR SALE."
--- Grand Prix Lim 358
Was as poor as a person could get,
Till her hooker friend, Sue,
Showed her what she could do,
Now she's fucking herself out of debt.
--- Cap'n Bean
Whose ma threw her out of the house,
Is good enough looking,
To make plenty hooking,
While flaunting what's under her blouse.
--- Armand Singer
Patrolled the beach as a lifesaver.
Her boss deeply frowning,
Saw more men were drowning;
And asked her to move on, as a favour.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Like a cop, she's a regular beat.
After a busy session
She made a confession,
That her work's very hard on her feet.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
And walked till his feet were all calloused...
He discovered no madam,
But a barkeep named Adam
Said, "Try our new waitress...Hey, Alice!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 325
He never a bad word had spuck.
But when faced with the bore
Of a comely young whore,
He said, "What do you charge by the hour?"
--- Al Chaplin P9409
Whose parents threw books about sex at her,
And before very long
She knew about wrong,
And others were waving big checks at her.
--- Lims Unlimited
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