These words from the Nizam of Tyre,
Who put his dear wife out for hire;
Said he, "Don't begrudge it,
This way the state budget
Will come in just under the wire."
--- Armand E Singer 601

A pimp toured his whore through ten nations,
Selling various and sundry sexations.
When asked his position,
He said, "Pushing coition--
I handle her pubic relations!"
--- G1841

And then there's the guy named Morello
Who opened a lively bordello;
Its success is amazing;
The income it's raising
Has made him a rich fucking fellow!
--- Cap'n Bean P0106

Hey Psst! Dirty pictures, your Grace?
"Well .." Nice souvenirs of this place?
"Well .." ten cents a dozen,
Or come screw my cousin?
"OK then; same price?" Yes, she's ace.
--- Anon

"Oh fuck it! I knew they'd appear;
Those damn papparazzi, I fear."
Don't panic, your Grace,
They won't notice your face...
"But I'm wearing my usual gear."
--- Anon

A bone-tired young wastrel named Hale
Said, "For sex there is always a sale...
Which is all for the best...
I can stay home and rest
Since I have my wife out selling tail."
--- Grand Prix Lim 424

There was an old pander from Perth
Who thought it's a source of great mirth,
Selling sister to brother,
And twice his own mother,
And freaks from all over the Earth.
--- John Miller

My mind is just fading away,
Can't think of anything to say.
My brain's turned to mush;
I can hear it slush;
Somebody tell me...what's today?
--- Anon

Today is the day that you swore
You'd come here and act like a whore
To all of my neighbors,
And out of your labors,
I'll take ten per cent, nothing more.
--- Anon

Today is the day that you need
A good fine hard fucking, indeed.
I'll start from the front
And I'll plunder your cunt,
And flush out the mush with my seed!
--- Anon

Rumor has it, a satyr named Ben
Keeps twenty fat whores in a pen.
"They're real handy," he'll say,
"When I want a quick lay,
Or for loaning to friends now and then."
--- G1740

Said a whoremonger, mongering whores:
"When mongering whores, nothing bores.
I love testing tails
In a batch of new frails,
Before they get loose on the floors."
--- G1888

Said a pander who lived in Saskatchewan,
"You haven't a hope if it's snatchewan.
'Cause the ladies 'round here
Can run fleeter than deer;
But for twenty-five bucks I will catchewan."
--- Hugh Oliver 82c

In need of a man, widow Cotter
Went to bed with a fellow named Potter.
She was no good in bed
So she said to him, "Fred,
You can finish the fuck with my daughter."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0095

There was an old pander from Perth
With a phallus of thumping great girth.
His whores would look on
As he stroked his hard-on,
Then greedily lap his quart's worth.
--- TuttaGioia

A wealthy whoremonger named Paul
Disclosed how he managed it all.
He began it in Thrace,
And his very first place
Was at best just a hole in the wall.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1625

To overaged harlot named Weiss,
Retirement was not paradise.
As her funds did decrease,
She paraded for piece,
And she'd take it at any old price.
--- Albin Chaplin

A hapless young lady named Black,
In poverty lived in a shack.
So she took to the street,
To be back on her feet,
But she found herself back on her back.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1448

Would you like to play skittles or darts;
Or bar-billiards, poker or hearts?
Or be terribly gallant
And eye up the talent.
Oh look, there's a couple of tarts.
--- Peter

Bar-billiards or skittles are fine.
(How about a glass of red wine?)
And those two bits of fluff?
Yours looks a bit rough.
The blond with big knockers is mine.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Your welcome to her, if you like;
But be warned, she's the neighborhood dike.
And the other old bag
Is a regular slag;
She likes threesomes; she's know as the Trike.
--- Peter

A hungry young lady was Krupp;
She often had nothing to sup.
So she took to the street
And established a beat,
And her business is now picking up.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1572

Sue Ellen sold sex from her trailer.
For fifty, a fellow could nail her.
The judge allowed no bail;
Gave sixty days in jail;
She did thirty by fucking the jailer.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408

There was a young fellow name Bart
Who picked up a flatulent tart.
Though she lacked fucking skill,
Yet she gave him a thrill,
By producing an exquisite fart.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1437

There was a young woman from Charlotte
Who didn't start out as a harlot,
But she mortgaged her tail
To a banker at Yale,
And was promptly foreclosed by the varlet.
--- Limber Limericks

There was a young girl from Madrid
Whose fucking was worth but a quid.
When her cunt was ajar
You could go just as far
As Byrd on his polar trip did.
--- G1830

An old harlot inept named McClure,
Sold five thousand fucks that were poor.
But complaints did her in
And she paid for her sin,
Since a recall she had to endure.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1603

There was a young fellow named Schiller;
The harlot he screwed was a thriller.
'Twas an overmatched flop
For she came out on top,
Which left Schiller no choice but to bill her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1656

An old hoar had her business embossed
On a card, and a man did accost.
He exclaimed, "What the hell,
You can't even spell!"
Said the hoar, "It's because of the frost."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1503

A raunchy old hooker from Norway
Would peddle her ass in the doorway.
She always said, "Honey,
Ya gotta have money,
Cause I only fuck in the whore way."
--- Lims For Year - 01

A harlot with crotch muscles pliant
Was asked by a promising client,
Could he pay her the fees
In fresh carrots and peas;
He was jolly and green and a giant.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1633

An aged old whore from the West
Could still give a fuck with great zest.
Though her ashole was loose
And her cunt had no juice,
She still managed by keeping abreast.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1694

A hard-pressed young lady was Bounting;
Her debts were beyond all accounting.
She thought pay for coition
Would improve her position,
But she found that her problems were mounting.
--- Albin Chaplin 3-24-1455a

This is file hvm

A destitute prostitute, Star,
Is willing to go pretty far.
For the price of a blow,
She also will mow
Your front yard and wash off your car.
--- Norm Storer P9611

An overaged hooker named Scot
Is patently still hot to trot.
But what seals the whore's doom
Is a prolapsing womb;
She needs Chapter 7, like as not.
--- Armand Singer

The club for the social elite
Is where crumbs from the upper crust meet.
But their lust they don't fetter;
Their behavior's no better
Than the hookers picked up on the street.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503

Said a tired old trollop named Bryant,
After ten days with nary a client:
"Can it be that the men
Hereabouts lack the yen?
Or perhaps my equipment's gone pliant."
--- G1749

There was a young madam named Schickel,
Who found that she was in a pickle.
She had customers pay
As to what they did weigh,
And some days she could not make a nickel.
--- Albin Chaplin

A whore who turned nun, felt a lack
And sought out her old madam's shack.
Said the madam, Miss Hood,
"Have you come back for good?"
She said, "No, it's for evil I'm back."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1574

A poor Aussie gal named Miss Dunder
Had so many debts, it's a wonder.
She divulged in confession
That she tried the profession,
But could not work her way from down under.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1498

A bulgy old harlot was Bassett;
Her derriere was her finest asset.
She was fucking old Pierre
Who explored everywhere,
But he failed to exploit every facet.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1438

There once was a girl named Tess
Had herself in a terrible mess.
She offered a fuck
For a fresh U.S. buck,
But found she was worth even less.
--- Anon

A destitute prostitute, Lou,
Is willing to travel with you.
If you pay for her ass,
She'll cover the gas,
And all of the tunnel tolls too.
--- Norm Storer P9611

Promised well-oiled old barfly, Ms Kate,
"If you pay off my tab, wipe the slate,
Then give me a call
And I'll fuck you all,
Under half of the whores' union rate."
--- Armand Singer

A thrifty old harlot discerned
Small savings were not to be spurned.
From her callers, so many,
She'd request one more penny,
For penny she saved was one earned.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1489

A shepherdress, pretty but poor,
Found sheeptending largely a bore.
Till a shepherd stopped by
And -- this is no lie --
By day's end she was richer, but sore.
--- Macsam

Said a glamor-puss in Pecan Gap,
"My bank account's here in my lap...
When I run short of kale
I just peddle my tail...
Man, am I glad I've got a mantrap!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 717

A girl short of cash was Miss Kitty;
She drove a sand truck for the city,
And at night she would work
For old madam McGirk,
But the clients complained she was gritty.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1567

A Bohemian painter named Starrett
Kept some wine-sodden whores in his garret,
Which occasioned much static
In the poor fellow's attic
As to who'd get the screw or the claret.
--- Armand E Singer 395

There was an old harlot named Post
Who was, by a man so engrossed,
That she paid him the fee,
For undoubtedly he
Was the master and therefore the host.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1635

A gloomy old whore of St. Claire
Was fucked by a man debonair.
She told sad tales of woe
Which depressed the man so,
That he plunged in a slough of despair
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1649

I once wandered out to L.A.
In search of a wench who would lay;
Well, the smog made me choke
And foul up my stroke --
But still she insisted I pay.
--- Norm Storer P0011

In the fog, a young man of Cologne
Took a walk in the park all alone.
From out of the fog
Came a slut, a real dog,
And he figured he'd throw her a bone.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2000

A Scot from Rossdunphy Named Sandy
Said, "Tail in this town isn't handy.
In Dundee there's stores
Where it's sold by fat whores,
But it's too far to go when you're randy..."
--- Grand Prix Lim 440

A scrupulous whore name of Koppers
Would cater to opulent shoppers.
But she said, "I confess
That in times of distress,
My asshole's for tradesmen and paupers."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1570

There was a young lady from Rhyll
Who tried to run out on her bill.
A meal on the house?
Well, take off your blouse!
You'll work off what's owed to the till!"
--- TuttaGioia

"You're the crook! You light-fingered my purse!
It's a trap! I will not reimburse
With a strip, or a lick
Of your stale old breadstick.
So get lost or you'll leave in a hearse!"
--- Lucy

You coarse little squirt of a vamp!
You're known far and wide as a tramp!
You work on your back!
You live off your crack!
Go ply your trade...'neath the street lamp!
--- TuttaGioia

And when you have earned what you owe,
(At your rate that's two bucks a blow)
You can pay your small tab,
Then get into a cab,
And go home to your sap of a beau!
--- TuttaGioia

There was a smart tart named Felicity,
Who well knew the worth of publicity.
Her big ad on TV
For the 'haute bourgeoisie'
Made much of the joys of lubricity.
--- Armand E Singer 254

There was an old whore name of Gail,
Who bailed an old man out of jail.
By a strange stroke of fate,
He became Head Of State,
So he made her the Head Of All Tail.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1525

Said a happy young harlot named Prue,
As her bank account mushroomed and grew:
"Milking prick's a delight
When the customer's right--
It's a business doing pleasure with you!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 597 G1855

There once was a whore from West Loring
Who was so incredibly boring,
She'd net piles of cash
Without spreading gash,
Yet leave them contented and snoring.
--- Anon

The richest old whore in Bengal,
For Rajahs was ready on call.
But a Hindu from Delhi
Claimed he laid on her belly,
When her house was a hole in the wall.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1440

A call girl who trafficked in Randall
Remarked, as she blew out a candle,
"A fresh blown hot wick
Is as good as a trick,
And it's twice as convenient to handle."
--- Grand Prix Lim 883

The call girls call daily next door,
And counting them all makes me sore.
I could break down and cry
At the guy's lush supply,
For I drive twenty miles to a whore.
--- Grand Prix Lim 396

There was a young lady in Reno,
Who lost all her dough playing keeno.
But she lay on her back
And opened her crack,
And now she owns the casino.
--- L1050