There once was a hooker named Alice, A fastidious queer in Manila, "The wide world of Love is immense," A thrifty old whore was Miss Lynch, An ingenious old harlot named Mallory An elderly Madame was frank She strolls up the street with a sway, The town's lushest hooker, Elise, Said a canny young lady named Faye, Did you hear of the lady named Charlotte, Tail's selling, my cute little friend... A haggared old bitch name of Gleek Given over to immoral ways, The old traveling salesman named Otter The hooker from near River Vale There was an old whore of Orleans, A toothsome young dolly named Bess On a sofa sat hard-working Mabel, There was a young woman named Mabel A fallen young lady of fashion, To tour the town's cribs was his goal, Ten reasons I never got sex There was an old harlot named Swincombe, A hooker who hooked in Cohasset, There was a young lady named Pitt, A thinking man's trollop, Miss Scott, A wily old harlot was Ewing; A lovely young lady of leisure, A hustler told Buster McGunny, Old hooker, with sagging parts, very, Those pyramid schemes are just fine -- A canny young hooker named Flo There was a young lady who knew,
This is file hum
The town's leading trollop, Miss Barkus, An eager young hooker named Sally She likes her men horny as hell, At ten secs a hand-job, she rakes There was this business woman from Staines A harlot who came from the Nile There's a pretty young girl from Wynoochee, She likes to hang out by the dock; As sure as the chimes on the clock, At first she gave free to her flock, For her I once went into hock, There is a young whore from Twin Cities A harlot who came from St. Claire The story is told of young Bess A greedy old hooker named Taft A certain rich hooker named Hatch A timer was used by Miss Fitch; An ex-teenager delinquent, Corine, There was a young lady named Elsie; A poor dyke decided to whore, In sick bay lay whore Winifred, A shapely young lady named Fern, I read in a newspapaer ad: You get the old whores, me the young There was a young woman named Brandi, There once live a young lass named Nash, A saintly young whore, quite contrite, A randy old codger from Crewe "Who're you to call the kettle black?" A young lady depressed was Miss Blick, World War II and a chocolate could buy I know a girl named Jude, She'd lay with her legs in the air,
Who charged by the length of the phallus.
Sometimes in a pinch,
She cheated an inch,
And lived like a queen in a palace.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose panties were lined with Chinchilla,
Said, "One thing money brings
Is a chance for nice things,
Like a flock of young boys and a villa."
--- Grand Prix Lim 785
Said the hooker, "And in recompense,
We've a singular role,
For the more in the hole,
The more it makes dollars and sense!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 944
Who never from business would flinch.
But one day she said, "Shit!
I am rich. I will quit!
I no longer can feel any pinch."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1590
Had managed to earn a fine salary.
She got nothing from screwers,
But she did charge the viewers,
And she daily would fill up the gallery.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1596
When asked of her years in the tank.
"I've memories," she said,
"Of adventures in bed
And four hundred Gee's in the bank!"
--- Elliot Schilling P0205
Intent upon making some hay.
Before the shun shines.
Men's pockets she mines
From silk tumbled sheets where they lay.
--- Anon
Gladly services free the police...
She prefers the free lay
To their jail...any day...
And thus plies her profession in peace.
--- Grand Prix Lim 397
"Only stupid girls give sex away."
So she charged a fair fee,
Fucked industriously,
And funded her own IRA.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0502
Went to Hollywood to be a starlet.
Men gave her a ring
Wanting only one thing,
And now she is gets rich as a harlot.
--- Chairman Steve
There are fellows just panting to spend.
Derrieres, viewed financially
Pay off quite substantially...
You are bound to get rich, in the end.
--- Grand Prix Lim 844
Was forty-five years past her peak,
But her profits did soar
And she made more and more,
For the thing that she sold was antique.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8509
A sought-after nooky named Hayes
Said, "I find it fun doing
Commercialed screwing...
And on top of that, Man, how it pays!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 565
Said, "I once laid the famed farmer's daughter.
A cute little twitch
Who later got rich
From the short course in tail that I taught her.
--- Grand Prix Lim 464
Says, "Every hole sale is retail...
The cash when I swing
Is to send my offspring
Through grammar school, high school and Yale.
--- Grand Prix Lim 408
Who knew well how to pull in the greens.
She screwed a flotilla
Which was based in Manila,
While she still was a girl in her teens.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1623
Work's her tail in a way you can guess.
She has so many clients
For her little appliance,
She has peddled her way to success...
--- Grand Prix Lim 620
Caressing her mink and her sable.
They had come the hard way
For the size of her pay,
And she had the receipts on the table.
--- Lims Unlimited
Who tossed her old mink on a table,
Then laid her blonde head
On a pillow in bed,
And started to work on a sable.
--- Limber Limericks
Gave vents to all sorts of base passion.
Was she scorned? She was not,
For her ways brought a lot
Of highly respectable cash in.
--- John Ciardi
But a studsman from Sydney named Dole,
Took a passionate fancy
To a harlot named Nancy,
And blew his whole wad on her hole!
--- G1826a
From my girlfriend Marie (she's my ex);
Numbers one way past nine,
Standing tenth in the line
Of rich suitors who plied her with checks.
--- Armand Singer
So good that she even made kin come.
On the income she made,
There were no taxes paid,
For the income she made was all sincome.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1675
Said, "My under yonder's my asset...
I like both what I do
And the dough I accure,
So for hobbies there's naught to surpasset.
--- Grand Prix Lim 942
Who did what she thought right and fit,
And great wealth did amass
From her saleable ass,
For it's no use on a gold mine to sit.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1632
Said, "Sure, I'm a sex honey pot!
But I get highest prices
For all amoral vices,
And that pads my bank balance a lot."
--- Grand Prix Lim 515
The cash in her bank kept accruing.
No taxes were paid
On the money she maid,
And she gave Uncle Sam a big screwing.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1505
Had more men than many could measure.
She found far flung fame,
Engaged in the game
Pursuing such passionate pleasure.
--- Chris Papa
As he slowly withdrew from her honey,
"While some enjoy pushing,
I find it quite bushing,
Except for the payoff in money..."
--- Grand Prix Lim 575
Had smile extraordinary.
"Though there's no delight
In sex every night,
On the whole, it's PECUNIARY."
--- Chris Papa
Though you may put your ass on the line,
With no sleight of hand,
I made fifty grand
Just last year from peddling mine.
--- Ericka
Converted her charms into dough.
Displaying a body,
A far cry from shoddy,
She traded her great quim, pro quo.
--- Armand E Singer 413
She had chosen the wrong thing to do.
But she did it so well,
She owned the hotel
In Miami before she was through.
--- John Ciardi
Rents the genital parts of her carcass.
To lust she must thank
Daily trips to the bank
And a sable fur coat (Nieman-Marcus).
--- Grand Prix Lim 686 G1736
Worked the docks on the Island of Bali.
She would fuck like a rabbit,
Though not out of habit;
At two bucks a pop, you don't dally.
--- Anon
For she knows from experience well,
That a year out at sea
Causes premature e-
Jaculation as soon as they swell.
--- Anon
In twelve dollars a minute and makes
About five grand I'd say,
Working eight hours a day
And allowing for natural breaks.
--- Anon
Who by hard work, made capital gains.
At night she'd report
For work at the airport
Where she'd service the crews of the planes.
--- Anna Pest P9005
Had patents for fucking, worthwhile,
And no whore could get laid
Until premiums were paid,
For she sued if they copied her style.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1618
Who excels at the lewd hootchy-kootchy;
What she does with her hips
Earns such fabulous tips,
That her handbags and shoes are by Gucci.
--- Ed Potts P8606
At least once a month; it's no shock
That she'd show up more
If she could be sure
The fleet had come back to Bangkok.
--- Gearhart
She'll take in some young naval cock,
Perhaps in her mouth,
Though further down south,
She'll insist that he's wearing a sock.
--- John Miller
Then consulted with H & R Block.
And now, don't you know,
She's gone IPO
And making a killing in stock.
--- John Miller
But, also, I cherish my cock.
And now that her twat
Is starting to rot,
I'd rather have sex with a croc.
--- John Miller
Whom none of the other whores pities.
Her enormous breasts
Get her endless requests --
Some call it the tail of two titties.
--- Armand E Singer 282
Had a booth at the Montreal Fair.
She then worked the Pavilion
Where she cleared a cool million,
And she still had three more months to spare.
--- Albin Chaplin
Which is one of great trial and duress.
She lay flat on her back
And she peddled her crack
To achieve the top rung of success.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1444
Grew wealthy in plying her craft.
Thought the rarest of feats
She would double receipts
With two at a time, fore and aft.
--- Armand E Singer 378
Could boast a most well-bejeweled snatch.
Huge two-carat rubies
Displayed on both boobies
As large as those guarding her thatch.
--- Armand E Singer 355
She timed all the men and got rich.
An old-timer named Joe
Fucked her ten in a row
When he found her asleep at the switch.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1512
Is well paid for the tricks she takes in.
Now she owns her own plane
And a villa in Spain,
All procured with the wages of sin.
--- William N Nesbit P9601
In Chelsea she got rather wealthy.
Now Elsie is quaint,
But being quaint ain't
How Elsie got wealthy in Chelsea.
--- Warrick Elrod a
And use her charms as God meant them for.
Now men suck her dairy,
Her accountant is merry,
But she thinks to herself, "What a bore!"
--- Bruce Thompson
Quite weak from a blow on the head,
And she soon got around
But before long she found
She made more while confined to her bed.
--- Albin Chaplin
Puts out and is paid in return;
"And my earnings", she said,
"I conceal in my bed,
Since the ads say to save where you earn."
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
"Now wanted: one horsey-hung dad,
To do what he oughter
With his sexy daughter,
Who's fiesty and horny and bad."
--- Travis Brasell
Ones I'll bed and then lick with my tongue,
Until they all cream
And scream while they dream
Of having what makes me well hung.
--- Archie
Who'd take off her dress for some candy,
Or for money for rent,
Or for just fifty cents,
Aor for anything else you had handy!
--- Stark
Who rented herself out for cash.
Out of folly or boredom,
I appealed to her whoredom;
Next morning I woke with a rash.
--- Phil T
Acutely aware of her plight,
Had felt very strong
That her morals were wrong,
But she solved it by dousing the light.
--- Al Willis P9610
Decided he needed a screw,
So he knocked on the door
Of a nearby young whore,
And proceeded to fill her with goo.
--- Anon
Said the young whore, while there on her back.
"My slow exertion
Enables insertion,
Which thus keeps you in fine fettle, Jack."
--- Chris Papa
For her paycheck so small made her sick.
Till she found a good way
To mix pleasure with pay,
And a fly-by-night job did the trick.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2971
A girl who'd unzipper your fly.
With one little Hershey,
You could purchase her. She
Would nestle till Hersheys ran dry.
--- Irving Superior P9205
Who like to sleep in the nude.
She was lewd and rude
And often quite crude
And always hot to get screwed.
--- Gearhart
Waiting without a care,
On her front lawn,
For her next john
To come 'round and stick his in there.
--- Gearhart