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I've hundreds of cousins and nieces; A trusting young woman named Treadwell There was an Old Man in a pew, "Get off of my daughter! Please cease! Said Norman, "I do love my niece! There was an old fellow named Reese, There once was a Master of Jesus There was a young man from Berlin, With Christmas Feast over, I stole We strolled past the mill where my grits When Valorie walks, her tits bounce But though the temptation is great, We reached the north gate where we rested I pulled, squeezed, grabbed, pummeled and mashed With clothing disheveled and mussed, I sucked on her boobs right to left, We turned down a path seldom travelled, Cried Valorie, "Damn, oh, what luck! Said I, "No, I'd never disgrace "Oh, hon, that's the least I could do!" Well, after a fine bout of oral Each year our stroll ends to our sorrow, If you think this yarn is too long, Uncle Tom like his poontang real tender A young man from Peloponnesus, A long-winded writer named Dunn It'th Friday today, the thirteenth. It seems Uncle Ogg is a maven; "Since my nieces are darlings", said Sid, There once was a man from Erie, In college, my sex-studies prof I've heard a perverted old broker, A festive young lady of Wick, An eccentric young man of Penzance (canopy? - No, that was under the bed - McW)
'Cause her dad thought that he was a felon, A nasty young offspring named Doakes There was a young soldier named Tucker "Good God!" cried the Duke of Buckloo, The mother was chastising Hammer There are arcane genetic defects, I am not reknowned for my lurkin'; When pa checked the bedroom at nine, "You've gone done the business, eh lad? "So who's the old slapper, eh lad?" "Gor blimey! The best that she'd had? Said Silas to Sue: "May I borrow There once was a girl from Galahad There was a young fellow named Tucker, There was a young man named McGraw A prostitute earning a buck, There's horny young Kate from Combe Bisset A writer on incest, surmises, Donated his sperm at 18; It sounds like his daughter's a teaser, Timmy was small, but real mad An incestuous Roman, Anonymous, As her twentty-third kid wiggled out, When Mary's new baby was due, A stableman's daughter named Prentiss, There once was a man from Teeswater, Old Angus McKiltup was burstin' Yes, incest is hard to resist, But yes, I know well that kid Kirsten, 'Cause though he is old, in his kilt, 'Tis a scandal now heard 'round the glen, And there Angus learned of the joys
All girlies with interesting creases,
Who visit me Sundays
And leave me on Mondays.
Exhausted, I love them to pieces.
--- Peter Wilkins
Believed that she knew Uncle Fred well,
But he tossed her in bed
On top of the spread,
And it seems that this maid was misled well.
--- William K Alsop P8910
Who waistcoat was covered with glue;
When he tore off a piece
With his nubile young niece,
He found he'd been nailed in the screw.
--- Edwardian Leer 009
Or brother, I'll call the police.
You asked how to pray,
And I didn't say:
First brother, go down on your niece."
--- Anon
But so far she hasn't much fleece.
And Eunice, my ewe,
Has always been true
And her mom doesn't call the police."
--- John Miller
Who longed to make love to his niece.
Don't accuse him of gall,
He did not expect all,
But just an occasional piece.
--- Isaac Asimov
Who slept with two of his nieces.
To the first he gave twints,
To the second one quints,
And to both of them, frightful diseases.
--- G1922
A patron of sexual sin.
He crammed the small crease
'Twixt the legs of his niece
With a foot of his old rolling pin.
--- L0996
Away, as my custom, to stroll
And burn up a calorie
Or two with niece Valery,
Whose buttocks resembles a knoll.
--- Travis Brasell
Are ground from white corn, and past pits
Where rattlesnakes coiled,
Until my blood boiled
With lust for young Valorie's tits.
--- Travis Brasell
In quick metronomical counts
Of two beats per measure;
A rhythmical treasure
On which I am tempted to pounce.
--- Travis Brasell
I bridle my lust and just wait
Until we both top
The mountain and stop
To rest at the upper north gate.
--- Travis Brasell
A moment before I molested
My niece on this annual
Occasion with manual
Jug jerks (which she's never protested!).
--- Travis Brasell
Her tits with my hands while she thrashed
And begged my indulgence
To do to my bulgence
The same, which she did unabashed.
--- Travis Brasell
We strolled a bit further till lust
Again got the better
Of me, and the sweater
Off Valorie's bountiful bust.
--- Travis Brasell
Then centered my slurps in her cleft;
With Valorie braless,
Her hooters were flawless,
But, damn, in one year, they'd gained heft!
--- Travis Brasell
And muddy (It used to be gravelled),
Where [ouch!] some sharp stickers
Snagged Valorie's knickers
And managed to get 'em unravelled.
--- Travis Brasell
I'm standing here nude in the muck!
Since I've got no sweater
Or breeches, I'd better,
Dear Uncle, lie down for a fuck!"
--- Travis Brasell
You; screwing would be out of place
For me with my kin."
She quipped, with a grin,
"At least put your cock in my face!"
--- Travis Brasell
Said I, "And I'll shoot quarts of goo
All over your tongue,
And, since you're still young,
All over your chin and hair, too!"
--- Travis Brasell
Sex, Valorie asked for a floral
Arrangement and candy,
And I thought, "Just dandy!
My niece will soon charge -- like a whore'll!"
--- Travis Brasell
And Valorie always must borrow
My hanky to wipe
Her tears; then she'll pipe,
"I wish Christmas Day was tomorrow!"
--- Travis Brasell
You may be more right than more wrong.
The length of this tale,
However, will pale
Compared to the length of my dong!
--- Travis Brasell
(Though he paid small attention to gender).
He loved all his nieces
And nephews to pieces --
In fact he put two through the blender.
--- John Miller a
Seduced all his nephews amd nieces.
At the point of a sword,
He married his ward,
And was the father of triplets, by Jesus.
--- L1508
Was told by his editor, "Son,
You should try shorter pieces."
So he laid his two nieces
Both of whom stand 5 foot 1.
--- P8503
My niethe who isth jutht in her teenth,
Hath called: "Hey there unc,
You remember that bunk
Up you gave? Now I'm splitting my jeanth."
--- Tiddy Ogg
At spawning a gestating haven,
Inside easy teens.
His genes in her jeans,
Make it plain the young pussy he's cravin'.
--- Randog
"I oblige them - I do what I'm bid."
As he tucked them in bed,
He asked, "What's to be read?"
"Uncle Remus", they cried, so he did.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Who always was so very cheery.
They found out just why:
It seem that the guy
Was fucking his niece, the sweet dearie!
--- MrMalo
Dismissed college girls with a cough.
"There's no coed piece
Beats my little niece,
Successfully winking you off.
--- John Miller
While daughter slept, though he would poke her.
But the wimp found his shrimp
Was simply too limp,
So he tossed himself off; never woke her.
--- Tiddy Ogg
While sucking her grandfather's prick,
Exclaimed, "I don't funk
The taste of your spunk,
It's the smell of your arse makes me sick."
--- Cremorne 1882
This is file hsm
Madly tore down his grandmother's pants.
He knocked her up properly,
Broke the bed and the crockery,
And now must be called "Dad" by his aunts.
--- G1703
She said, "No, He's a ripe watermelon!"
She said, "Honey, I dew!"
He said, "Pumpkin, me too!"
What they did with the seeds they ain't tellin'.
--- Cheryl
Took pleasure in screwing his folks;
Said he, "It's okay
To treat `em that way,
So long as you use different strokes."
--- Armand Singer
Who invited his granny to supper.
After beans and a tart,
He started to fart.
By God, after pudding, 'twas up her!
--- Anon
"I've been struck out of this year's "Who's Who"!
All because of that day
I rolled in the hay
With my grandmother -- very nice too!"
--- G2280
For getting behind in his grammar.
Said Hammer, "I'd rather
Get it into Grandfather,
And if Grammer don't like it, why damn her."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0923
Which at present no testing detects.
These cause some folks to pause,
For most others it's laws
Which admonish that "Oedipus Wrecks."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0007
I am more well known with my gherkin.
Its been in my poppa;
My mom I can't stoppa
From telling me that she is hurtin'.
--- Anon
He saw son fucking grandma real fine,
So he said to him, "Chuck,
That's my mother you fuck."
"So what," said the son, "you fuck mine."
--- Albin Chaplin
About bloody time that you had!
Your mother and me...
We've been worried, you see."
"Well you don't need to worry now, dad."
--- Peter Wilkins
"She said not to tell you that, dad."
"Oh come now, my son;
Was she horny and fun?"
"Well, she said I'm the best that she'd had."
--- Peter Wilkins
She must have been desperate, my lad."
"She was, 'cause she said
You were useless in bed,
And tomorrow we're leaving you, dad."
--- Peter Wilkins
Your daughter to rid me of sorrow?"
"Why, yes, you poor dear,"
Said Sue, with a tear,
"You're her daddy -- return her tomorrow."
--- Anon
Who fancied her father--too bad!
She then caught her brother
Going down on her mother,
Who remarked, "Not in the same class as Dad.'
--- G0598
Who rushed at his mother to fuck her.
His mother said, "Damn!
Don't you know who I am?
You act like a regular mucker!"
--- Anon
Who had an affair with his ma.
She said, "Give me another,
You are better than brother."
He said, "No, I must save one for pa."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0732
Was just laying down for a fuck,
When in strolled her dad,
Who said, "I've been had!"
But he still gave her his penis to suck.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With an ass miles across, you can't miss it.
With feminine wiles
Her poor dad she beguiles,
Then she sits on his face and says, "Kiss it."
--- Anon
His book won't be mentioned for prizes;
But he thinks it will sell,
And do rather well,
With the title "The Son Also Rises".
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Now 40 he's screwing Eileen,
A mere 22;
And if only he knew
(What we've guessed) he'd be ever more keen.
--- Anon
And that he's just trying to please 'er;
They have a good time.
Can that be a crime?
So what, if she came from a freezer?
--- Anon
With lust for the daughter he had.
He climbed up the ladder
Each time that he had her,
And that's why she called him "Step-dad."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Called each of his children Eponymous.
No one knew who was who,
What to which each could do,
As the hers and the hims were synonymous.
--- Professor
Ma Diddleflop gave a big shout
And sighed, "Well, that's done,
Pa, from me you get none...
Ain't we got a teen daughter about?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 286
She confessed to her mother she knew
That the chef was to blame,
And her mother said, "Shame,
I'm afraid that he's your father, too."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8212
Is morally non compos mentis:
She seduces her Dad,
And when Dad can't be had,
Uses horses in loco parentis.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Who jumped into bed with his daughter.
Well, you know the rest,
It was just incest;
The result was a three-footed otter.
--- Teeswater Tom
With lust for his daughter, young Kirsten,
Who'd tickle the tilt
In his kilt 'til he spilt
Within inches of thrustin' his wurst in.
--- Peter Wilkins
With tender young quim to be kissed
Between creamy thighs...
But the law thinks elsewise,
So perhaps it was all for the bist... er best.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And wished as the tub she's immersed in,
That I were the soap.
Alas there's no hope,
And daddy I'm sure'll be the first in....
--- Tiddy Ogg
It's plain just how well he is built.
He'll make Kirsten squeal
When she gets a feel,
And he buries it up to the hilt.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And retold from the moors to the fen;
Kirsten's squeals, though so dear,
Caught the dour Sheriff's ear
And he hauled Angus off to the pen.
--- Joe Long
More commonly saved for young boys.
Since Angus had piles,
His squeals carried miles,
And the Sheriff went deaf from the noise.
--- John Miller
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