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Umbrella is a BUMBERSHOOT? Junk mail and spam that arrive as BUMF, To flourish and bloom is to BURGEON, Quietly bypassing is BURKE; When misdeeds in government lurk, The president opted to BURKE Real dangers in Justice do lurk, Now what's a poor fellow to do To stand up to gravity's force, Boy friend was a full fanny nut. My Mom was obsessed with my rear. Controlling intriguers, CABAL, CABAL is a group that will plot, A faulty taxi meter can cost, In New Jersey, the FBI lurks, Whenever I travel I stay The rich and powerful gain CACHET (something giving status or prestige)
I CACHINNATE, that is a fact. A heart attack out in the car? I'm sorry to tell all you folks When husband told funny tale, great, With long life this pairing was blessed, Trouble with CACOETHES concealed Explaining the Birds And The Bees It sometimes is hard on gal's knees, I think that we all know a few Ever listen to words of rap? Most times when young kids are at play, The CACOPHONY of children's cheers For the sin of reaching too high, In my town, we've had an influx Self-decimating wins, CADMEAN, A CADMEAN victory, I fear, CADUCEUS, staff of Greek God; (mercury was old treatment for syphilis)
You CAITIFF cad, you're the worst. CALCED you must be, without doubt, Oh, what pain and suffering falls, When young, family Doc was disaster. Our friend in CALIGINOUS cave, They claim the end is nigh, That foggy dark cloud CALIGINOUS The halls of congress, so CALIGINOUS Of corporate CAMORRAS, the worst, There's a story that I love to tell Quasimodo was ugly as hell, As a word, I am very compact, I find it remarkably hard All candidates should be barred The misleading hoax is a CANARD, The CANARD is a small forward wing; When a Bantam cock serviced a duck, I'd call it a canard, unduly, Palindromic procession CANCRINE Hermit Dave, from love in a ditch, Out there where the buffalo roam, What can a CANCRINE phrase do? In glowing, impassioned speech CANDENT, The candidate gave CANDENT speech; I'll sometimes lift a rhyme In taking parts we CANNIBALIZE Two brothers were locked in tight fray, If "canny" means "careful and shrewd", That Cambridge prof CANTABRIGIAN, The sight of such beauteous bum For ladies, old hermit was hankerous, Many a CANTANKEROUS guy Most women want gentle and kind;
A wacky word! Now that's a hoot.
Guess that explains
Why, when it rains,
A smile is such good substitute.
--- Gary Hallock
Cause many an old man to harrumph.
To careen and dodder
On way to bum fodder.
And on throne to deliver with oomph.
--- Daniel Ford
Which lim writers do with no urgin'.
But limerick lame
(Notorious flame)
Bring threats of soon sleeping with sturgeon.
--- Daniel Ford
Such a muaneuver drives me berserk.
If I should catch 'em,
Quickly dispatch 'em;
There'll be no more behind-the-back smirk.
--- Daniel Ford
The insiders are then quick to BURKE,
To calm all the strife;
Denials are rife,
Though culprit is caught with crook's perk.
--- Chris Papa
All the inquiries into his work.
While applying his screws,
The press got the news,
And the editors' views went berserk.
--- Bob Dvorak
Whilst Reno is there to do work,
"Bill Gates I'll destroy,
But for Billy Boy,
I'll put on my blinders and BURKE."
--- Chris Papa
When BUSKIN is a heavy shoe,
Or a tragic play,
Although I might say
I've seen shows where either might do.
--- Chris Papa
A BUTTRESS is fine, but of course
If you build your wall
Too tall, it will fall,
When you, rules of Physics, ignores.
--- Gary Hallock
And she didn't quite make the cut.
So with pads, a few,
To enhance the view,
She'd BUTTRESS her belittled butt.
--- Chris Papa
"Too big. Men won't want you, my Dear."
But one I did find
Who liked my behind,
And BUTTRESSED my ego, it's clear.
--- Elois
Must remain secret, or a pall
Will fall on the group.
They'll be in the soup,
And their schemes become a pratfall.
--- Daniel Ford
To obtain a something they've not.
In secret they meet
To hatch a plan neat,
That never quite gets off the spot.
--- Chris Papa
Especially if the cabbie gets "lost".
Part of big city life,
Such CABBAGE is rife,
And adds to its aura of frost.
--- Norm Brust
Arresting some elected jerks
Who CABBAGED a stash,
Sold contracts for cash.
That's just how the Garden State works.
--- Chris Papa
At hotels that lack CACHET.
If the plumbing works,
I can skip the perks
And use the money to play.
--- Norm Brust
From wealth, status, and fragrant sachet,
But it all can be gone,
Like the day of the fawn,
When death sends a truck in mid-sashay.
--- Daniel Ford
Like one who with self-control lacked.
Which makes me feel good,
As most old folks would,
Since it clears the respiratory tract.
--- Chris Papa
CACHINNATE. It stimulates CPR.
Then tighten your ass
And step on the gas.
Keep laughing till you reach the ER.
--- Norm Brust
That trying a near dead heart to coax,
Or one that is flagging,
By coughing or gagging,
Is simply a very bad hoax.
--- Chris Papa
And spouse began to CACHINNATE,
She clucked like hen proud,
In decibels loud,
And collapsed in convulsive state
--- Chris Papa
Which would this stark moral suggest,
"That if you'd stay wed,
The connubial bed
Needs laughter as a constant guest!"
--- Chris Papa
Is that they are never revealed
Until momentum
Deigns to present 'em,
But by then, the maid's fate is sealed.
--- Daniel Ford
To daughters, one tell them to please
Beware, as young maids,
Of pregnancy, AIDS,
And men with concealed CACOETHES.
--- Nick
When exec has odd CACOETHES.
For oral sex stars,
And unlit cigars,
In places that don't smoke, "Pull-eese!"
--- Chris Papa
Folks, who when spelling is due,
Are very remiss
In CACOGRAPHY bliss,
There coining some usages new.
--- Chris Papa
Me thinks it denotes a trap
For catching the kinds
Of unthinking minds
By repetitious CACOPHONIC crap.
--- Luana Nemaste
Determined to get their own way,
The din that they make
Can cause an earthquake.
Pure CACOPHONY rules the day.
--- Chris Papa
Is sometimes music to parent's ears,
But oft it unnerves
And causes car swerves
And the need for some tippling of beers.
--- Daniel Ford
Babel's builders under the sky
Brought to the world
With tongues unfurled,
CACOPHONY and confusion's cry.
--- Esther
Of schnorrers, and that really sucks.
One woman named Madge
Taught her dog how to CADGE,
And that mongrel came home with ten bucks.
--- Observer
May bring nobles to ways plebian.
As meat-grinding nymph
Causes great loss of lymph,
To suitor with lance Priapean.
--- Daniel Ford
Which to Pyrrhic one is so near,
Both close to ones lost,
Because final cost
Is prohibitively quite dear.
--- Chris Papa
This is file hrl
Mercury, applied to man's bod,
An ointment to treat
Disease caught "In heat";
Placed unctuous salve on wicked rod.
--- Chris Papa
With friends like you, I am cursed.
Now follow my plan
And defy the Tax Man.
What's that? Me? Hell no; you go first!
--- Phil Kinay
If in life you would get about
With unblemished soles,
Or walk on hot coles,
And for all of your kicks to have clout.
--- Chris Papa
When use of CALEFACIENT calls
To be applied to a notch
Or two, near the crotch,
And lands instead on your balls!
--- Chris Papa
He always prescribed mustard plaster.
He gave each patient
This CALEFACIENT
'Cause the pharmacopeia he could not master.
--- Norm Brust
That miser we know of as Dave,
Can see what he might,
By dim candlelight,
When out to debauch or deprave.
--- Chris Papa
And hope their tracts we will buy.
With tales CALIGINOUS
They try to religion us,
As final dates keep passing by.
--- Norm Brust
May produce feelings vertiginous,
With no silver lining,
Despite our faint pining,
For some lucky find perliginous,
--- Daniel Ford
Do propagate folks litiginous,
Because they're lawyers.
But were they sawyers,
Trees falling men sun lentiginous.
--- Daniel Ford
Whose crooked seams finally burst,
Enron's tops the list;
Their shred records missed,
Done by slick accountants accursed.
--- Chris Papa
Of MCI the CAMPANOLOGIST from hell,
Who back in the eighties,
With McGowan's maties,
Wrung the neck of the invidious Ma Bell.
--- Norm Brust
And had a large humpback as well.
CAMPANOLOGIST he,
And as we would see,
His face was said to "ring the bell."
--- Chris Papa
Just three little letters intact!
I'm a homonym, yes!
Now CAN you guess?
Thrice a verb, once a noun, that's a fact.
--- Tutta Gioia
To believe your insulting Canard,
"You cannot get preggers
If we consume keggers."
Of truth, there is barely a shard.
--- Antigone
From playing the "ad hominem" card.
I think it's critical
To keep it political
And avoid the personal CANARD.
--- Norm Brust
Oft perpetuated without regard
For the damage done,
To the suckered one,
Or the breach in society's guard.
--- Daniel Ford
By God, it's a wierd looking thing.
They said it won't fly,
But it does, my oh my!
And does with panache and great zing!
--- Eric S
The latter, feeling hit by a truck,
Said "Sir, I'm a drake;
There's been a mistake!
Would you kindly stop running amok!"
--- Daniel Ford
To equate a CANARY with stoolie;
The former sings sweet,
The latter bird's feat
Betrays former fellow quite cruelly.
--- Chris Papa
Provides great fun, unless you can't grin
Because of the hurt
That comes from wide blurt,
When mouth's inner lip has canker in.
--- Daniel Ford
Awoke with a terrible itch,
And groin all a-scratch,
With life in his thatch,
Transmitted by a CANCRINE witch.
--- Chris Papa
You won't find a palindrome.
So if you're hankerin'
For a clever CANCRINE,
You'd do better to stay at home.
--- Norm Brust
In Japan, do they dart fro and to.
Or do the words flit
In vertical slit
Which is better kept 'twixt me and you.
--- Chris Papa
Mounting to climax, like vines scandent,
The preacher exhorted
The ones who'd oft sported
To join the flock -- stop frolic lambent.
--- Daniel Ford
He's like those convicted to preach,
Who dote on each word,
In manner absurd,
Their I.Q. about 60 each.
--- Chris Papa
From something written at an earlier time.
My rationalization
For such CANNIBALIZATION,
Stealing from yourself is not a crime.
--- Norm Brust
For recycling not animalize.
That eating another
Is for Lector, brother,
Following lambs to Hannibalize.
--- daniel Ford
Competed in every which way.
But both realized
If CANNIBALIZED,
He might pass his brother one day.
--- Chris Papa
Then "uncanny" the antonym, should
Mean "careless and daft,"
(And the dictionary laughed
At its eerie un-natural mood).
--- Doug Harris P0507
Studied artifacts called Phrygian,
But soon lost his nerve,
Undone by the curve
Referred to as callipygian.
--- Daniel Ford
Raised issues which he would escape from,
But such action
Countered attraction,
So that he could neither go nor come.
--- Daniel Ford
But being a wee bit CANTANKEROUS,
Stayed 'way from the tub,
And never would scrub,
So now he is lonely and rankerous.
--- Chris Papa
Walks away from his mate asking "WHY"
Her shoulder is cold,
When he's feeling quite bold!
With his ego as big as the sky.
--- Maggie
Respect for their body and mind.
Someone who will know
That to make love grow,
It takes two, to keep up the grind!
--- Maggie
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