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Young Chastity's rather a cutie; She said, "I've been somewhat remiss, "Oh that," Ma adivsed, "Is okay, There once was a wife who was sure A courtesan working in Cairo Bill Jones is a lad who will pluck some A hooker near Cairo's foul dumps, There was a young miss from Johore, There was an old whore from Warsaw, A call-girl who came from St. Paul There was a young lady from Delhi A retired Irish swimmer from Ennis, There was a young whore from Tashkent, It's the whore with the swivel-hip action There was an incensed prostitute A woman from old Monterey, There once was a versatile whore, A hooker cruised by in a Ford. "I guess", mused a callgirl named Carole, She was a master of contortion; There was an old whore named of Dawes A prostitute out in Belle Plaine A professional lady named Kropps A call-girl who works out of Singapore On the street in a hurry walked Clyde, There was a young trollop called Prue, There once was a whore from Biloxi. A non-union harlot named Furze An intelligent whore from Albania, A charitable harlot from China There was a young harlot of Crete, When the Nazis landed in Crete, Our subversive young harlot of Crete, Then here was this harlot of Crete, And at last this fine harlot of Crete, There was a young hooker from Bali, A sailor, ashore in Peru, There is a youn woman named Charlotte There was an old whore of Algiers, "Dos pesos," the whore told Dubose, A shapely young maid in Algiers A seductive mam'selle from Calais To play in a young French whore's thicket, In Paris a famed courtesan Said a charming young lady from Padua, A French Hooker married Jake Drew, Soho, a Latvian strumpet When a whore from Australia, Sheila, From journeys today I came back Oh dear, here's another who's flip I'm serious only in June, That 'Mitch' has a sister named Adam An American hooker named Dinah Ask the China dolls who make pushee, An old British harlot named Spence, The trollop who calls Polynesia They say than in Paris, the whores There was a young lady from Worthing Said a certain young girl of Madrid, A Rotterdam hooker's young daughter beds There was a young fellow named Souter I once met a young Scottish 'goosey;' A colleen from Limerick town, Myfanwy ap Gwillam ap Dylan A cute London feminist, Dee, There was a young lady from Foynes,
If only she'd share out her booty.
"If not for the fun,
Then the money, dear one,"
Said her Ma, "It's your feminine duty."
--- Peter Wilkins
In not before telling you this.
It's not men I desire,
For I truly aspire
To be having it off with my sis!"
--- Murphy
But in a responsible way,
Make sure that your sis,
Knows well that the bliss
Is something for which she must pay."
--- Travis Brasell
She was right. And she was. Till a whore
Who was glad to be wrong,
Sang the old boy a song,
And they ran off to Cannes. Vive l'amour!
--- John Ciardi
In a cathouse was surely no tyro.
She made men estatic
Because acrobatic,
She could rotate her hips like a gyro.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9206
Fast tail from the slim or the buxom.
But when he met Bunnie,
And tried out her cunny,
He swore that no whore was so fucksome.
--- G2720
Excites men with grinds and with bumps.
She purchased a camel
From a dealer named Gamal,
Which she rides into town between humps.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0401
Who'd lie on a mat on the floor.
In a manner uncanny,
She'd wobble her fanny
And drain your nuts dry to the core.
--- L0312
Who fucked all her customers raw.
She would thump with her rump,
And punt with her cunt,
And lick every prick that she saw.
--- L1066
Described how she made a good haul.
"Follow through in the grind,
Stay in front, not behind,
And be sure that your eye's on the ball."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1651
Who had a remarkable belly:
She could hold it as stiff
As the face of a cliff,
Or cause it to quiver like jelly.
--- Limber Limericks
Once thought about switching to tennis,
Though streetwalking, too,
Seemed a good thing to do,
So she's cruising canals now in Venice.
--- David A Brooks
Who managed an immoral tent.
Day out and day in
She lay writhing in sin,
Giving thanks it was ten months to Lent.
--- L1063
That gives a man real satisfaction;
Who knows what she's doing
All the time that you're screwing,
And leaves you limp with reaction!
--- G1731
Who, one statement would always refute.
'Cause she wiggled her ass
In style and with class,
Resented the phrase 'Ill Repute'.
--- Jane D Hughes P9205
Decided to try a new way.
She got into bed
And stood on her head
And found the men eager to pay.
--- Isaac Asimov
As expert behind as before.
For a quid you could view her,
And bugger and screw her,
As she stood on her head on the floor.
--- L1068
I thought to myself, "I am bored."
So I got her to stop,
And she showed me her shop.
A hand-job was all I could afford.
--- Anon
One night as she doffed her apparel,
"That kinks are no fewer;
My next trick's a brewer;
When he has me, it's over a barrel."
--- Albin Chaplin
Bent all ways to take in my portion.
She wrapped herself round
And got me all bound,
And then made me pay her extortion.
--- Anon
Who put on a show for a cause.
She went into a frenzy
With a man named Mackenzie,
Then she paused for a while for applause.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1484a
Does a trick that I'll have to explain:
To begin with, she'll pee
In your hat from a tree--
And from there on, it's really insane!
--- Norm Storer
Was an expert in pulling all stops.
When Dunn slipped a disc
He called her a risk,
But Bradstreet still rated her tops.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1571
Is known to her clients as "Ring-a-whore";
But after a whirl
With this talented girl,
You're likely to find your poor thing-a-sore.
--- Norm Storer P9212
And he noticed a whore by his side.
When he said, "I can't stay."
She replied, "If you pay,
I believe I can take this in stride."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0668
Who ran a tea shop down at Kew.
When I ordered cream tea,
She sat down on my knee,
And taught me a trick that she knew!
--- Pruman T9801
Who had bedroom manners most foxy.
When she started to tup,
A hoist lifted her up,
And tricks were completed by proxy.
--- Warren
Would urge union men on with spurs.
And she speeded seduction
With her in-line production,
While ignoring the jibes and the slurs.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8608
Read books and grew steadily brainier.
Yet it wasn't her science,
That brought her male clients,
But her quite uncontrolled nymphomania.
--- Isaac Asimov
Declared, "I never felt finer.
And so poor men won't holler,
I'll just charge a dollar,
And twenty-five cents for each minor."
--- G1758
Whose fucking was far, far too fleet.
So they tied down her ass
With a long ton of brass,
To give them a much longer treat.
--- L1003
This young harlot had to compete
With the many Storm Troopers,
Who were using their poopers,
For other things than to excrete.
--- L1004
Was led to fifth-column deceit.
When the paratroops landed,
Her trade was expanded,
By at once going down on their meat.
--- L1005
This is file him
She decided to be very neat.
She said, "I'm too high class
To ream common ass,
And I'll wash every prick that I eat."
--- L1006
Was hawking her meat in the street.
Ambling out one fine day,
In a casual way,
She clapped up the whole British fleet.
--- L1007
With Punter was getting quite pally.
When the car bomb it blew.
"Did the earth move for you?
I think it has blown us to Mali."
--- Anon
Said, "Senora, quanto por la screw?"
"For only one peso
I will, if you say so,
Be buggered and nibble it too."
--- VOL 11 P0102
Whose wardrobe is nothing but scarlet.
From her head to her toes,
She's a true English rose,
Better known as the Devonshire Harlot.
--- Chris Young
Who had bushels of dirt in her ears.
The tip of her titty
Was also quite shitty,
She never had washed it in years.
--- L0991
"Eez what eet weel cost to get close."
The pesos she got
For renting her twat,
And he went back home with a dose.
--- David Miller
Threw curves at the Arabs for years;
She got from each Arab
A gold-plated scarab,
And sometimes a couple of beers.
--- Lims Unlimited
Remarked as she did it for paix,
"Free love's overrated
And somewhat outdated.
I only for money chalet."
--- Brandy Brandon P9407a
A guy needs to first have a ticket;
These tickets are sold
For cash, hard and cold,
At windows in France called a 'guichet'.
--- Anon
Had a trick to revive any man
Who was not up to snuff.
She would cry, "Fair enough!
You can't, but Mon Dieu, I Can-Can!"
--- Roger Morris
"A peso? Why sir, what a cadua!"
He said, lifting his hat,
"You aren't really worth that,
However, I'm glad to have hadua!"
--- Anon
And nightly did what hookers do.
Jake died in a year
Thereby proving, I fear:
Can't have your Jake and eat him, too.
--- Theo Heller P9401
Got hot hearing men play the trumpet.
She jumped on Don's back
While rubbing her crack,
And decided she'd rather play humpit.
--- Anon
Went to bed with a big city dealer,
As she gave him a gob,
They were caught on the job;
"Christ," he said, "not another Chris Keeler!"
--- Anna Pest P9005
And learned of attack on Iraq.
And Whoa! I am praying
Our bombs don't start straying
And land in that Muslim whore's crack.
--- Travis Brasell
And thinks it quite clever to quip
With remarks deleterious
On matters most serious.
So please on your tip, get a grip.
--- Hugh Clary
When Muslim whores stretch out at noon,
To read the Koran
Sans burka to tan,
While giving gratuitous poon!
--- Travis Brasell
Joy Twitchell (they both worked for Saddam,
Until he discovered
Those sisters uncovered,
And knew that those geezers had had 'em.)
--- Anon
Pursued her profession in China.
Said the minor shoe shiner
Whom she screwed on her recliner,
"In China is no finer vagina!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0506
"You know what take to get in bushee?
Wisdom of ages
Handed down from sages,
Say 'Got no tickee? Get no tushee!'"
--- Jane D Hughes P9301
Would lie down for shillings and pence.
But the coinage was changed
And it left her deranged;
For in decimals, she was too dense.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1666
Her home, will both squeeze ya' and tease ya'.
But if you're only fond
Of girls who are blond,
I doubt that she'll totally please ya'.
--- Norm Storer P9212
Prefer to be fucked on all fours.
And for the same price,
If you treat them real nice,
They perform lots of clever encores.
--- Michael Horgan
Who'd do any thing for a farthing.
For a penny or shilling,
She was totally willing
And all with a smile quite disarming!
--- Chris Clack
Who kept her vagina well hid,
"For a lousy peseta,
I am no fornicata,
But I'll spread for an adequate bid."
--- Isaac Asimov
Her landlubber clients on shorter beds,
So mom can cavort
With the sailors in port,
On the bigger and bouncier water beds.
--- Anon
Who could not understand the valuta;
He tendered one mark
To a girl in the park,
And went home sadder, wiser, but neuter.
--- Charles Scott-MoncriP0209
That lassie was so much like you, see?
She walked 'two-way' streets
To peddle her sweets,
Of scrumptious large mounds and pink poosey.
--- Anon
A girl of enormous renown,
Was always quite willing
For only a shilling,
Much more so if paid half-a-crown.
--- Frank Bohan
Of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll is willin'
Like Bronwen and Penny
Of Abergavenny,
To screw all Dai long for a shillin'.
--- Peter Wilkins
Declared it was no longer free.
First, she got a whole crown,
Then her prices went down.
So did she.
--- Anon
Who collected pounds, shillings, and coins.
The tuppeny bits
She earned with her tits,
But the shillings she earned with her loins.
--- G1790
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