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When the newly-found restaurant I doubted,
"I think we should go there," she pouted.
"Though I can't say it's shoddy,"
I told her, "Nobody
Ever goes there -- it's always too crowded."
--- Hugh Clary

It's true that it's easy to hire
A salesman who'll lie to a buyer.
They all do it willfully,
And some do it skillfully,
But this man is TRULY a LIAR.
--- Laurence Perrine P8809

While climbing the Matterhorn, Bart,
Had chest pains just after the start.
Still, up up he climbs.
Reported The Times,
"He had an UNBEATABLE HEART."
--- Irving Superior P8809

To spell a word right -- more or less.
When short on the facts -- just to guess.
Some are just third-rate,
This grand fourth-estate.
So, should you call WORKING PRESS?
--- Larry Davis P8809

PALINDROMES, no way to converse;
They may leave minds addled or worse,
When in rhymes appear
Abundantly clear,
They are the "69's of verse."
--- Chris Papa

Those lyrical words sure pain us;
Gal racked in the front and in anus.
As PALINDROME, hell,
It's name might as well,
Be after the Roman God Janus.
--- Chris Papa

That's what comes of having two heads;
The guy was a demon in beds.
One aft and one fore,
The poor girls were sore,
With perinina left in shreds.
--- Chris Papa

For those who would PALINDROMES shop,
The short one I place at the top,
Are those that describe
The head of the tribe,
That fellow we call "Dad" or Pop".
--- Chris Papa

There are those who think Dubya's a dud,
And consider his name to be mud.
Symmetrically they talk
But sputter and squawk
When they say. "Dubya won? No way, bud!"
--- Kirk Miller

On a hill in the woods near Paw Paw
Eliot enjoyed life in the raw.
That hole, his creation
Was it sanitation?
WAS IT ELIOTS TOILET I SAW?

(palindromericks)
--- Tom Patton P0201

Now palindromes I do perceive,
A challenge could be, I believe:
The first one who had 'em
Said, "Madam, I'm Adam,"
Her respone was to simply say "Eve."
--- Anon

PALINDROME: variation of amagram
From backward to forward: a clever scam.
I found one in time
To include in this rhyme:
Marge lets Norah see Sharon's telegram.
--- Fran

Two brothers were Jason and Jack:
And Hannah had both in the sack.
This troilist syndrome
She called PALINDROME --
"I'm getting the same front and back."
--- Nick

For those who would PALINDROMES plumb,
Remember there are also some
Of those that describe
The head of the tribe
As that person we call "Mom" or "Mum".
--- Fran

Surely it was Mom whose position
Suggested the mission coition.
And though she protest,
Outcome did attest:
She contained serious emission.
--- Daniel Ford

A cleverly wrought decision --
I must now rethink my submission.
Looks like POP, feeling hot,
Attained the TOP SPOT
For precision emission transmission.
--- Fran

There once was a writer from Rome,
Who spent his days on palindromes.
Soon he got writers cramp;
His approach he'd revamp.
He writes limericks now to his home.
--- David J Stein P0109

Tango-noter, a disc I peek at
In a temple: hot sin, a mad rat;
Ere we retard, a man
Is to help me tan;
I take epics, I dare, to no gnat.

(Palindromericks, very rare)
--- Will Thomas P0202

When skipping a lunch planned at Maxes,
I opted for love that relaxes.
I called my friend Micky;
Arranged for a quicky.
I was wrong, SEX AT NOON TAXES.

(palindromericks)
--- Tom Patton P0201

To some they'll bring a happy yuck,
Or even a sympathetic cluck,
But as told above,
When push comes to shove,
Others just think that "they suck."
--- Chris Papa

A PALINDROME always departs
Returning back from whence it starts.
Symmetrical fashion,
Inspiring passion,
In all of us word-players' hearts.
--- Gary Hallock

My wordplay is quite embryonic,
So it would prove a useful memnumonic
If the experienced pros
Did somehow compose
A limerick most palindromic!
--- John Vernon

I think, sir, a genius 'twould take
To such a monstrosity make.
I pondered it, yet,
But like Marie Antoinette,
I failed, so I'll go and eat cake.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Would it be wrong to devise
A marginal compromise?
By ditching the fetters
Of dastardly letters --
Considering matters wordwise?
--- John Vernon

Close neighbors, Matilda and Bart,
When first met, had talks heart to heart.
Then, as farmers do,
In time, they both grew
Potatoes, and old, and apart.
--- Observer

Matilda was highly chagrined,
And hoped that her Bart was thick-skinned,
Since, leaving the bloke,
She wretchedly broke,
It off, and her promise, and wind.
--- Hugh Clary

Hugh Clary went fishing for trout,
With Joe Zeugma's wife who is stout;
She screamed and then flipped
The boat when Hugh whipped
Around, her fat ass, and his worm out.
--- Travis Brasell

Though she cooked all her meals hard as rocks,
Joe Zeugma's new girl was a fox.
So when offered a plate,
He triumphantly ate
Humble pie, like a pig, and her box.
--- Anon

Joe Zeugma loves girls that are quick,
Like Betty, a dextrous chick,
Who makes breakfast completing
Her chores, while she's beating
The clock, scrambled eggs, and his dick.
--- Hugh Clary

A nervous old codger named Boyce
Couldn't control his sphincter by choice.
So he splendidly strode
To his favorite commode,
Blew his nose, and his ass, and rejoiced.
--- Anon

As they left their room to depart,
Thought Piper, "I've won the boy's heart."
Though her thought was bold,
She neglected to hold
Her breath, and the door, and a fart.
--- Observer

Joe Zeugma's vexations are myriad,
Since his girlfriend, a cutie named Kyriad,
Has gotten him pissed
By saying she missed
The bus, a day's work, and her period.
--- Hugh Clary

Dancer Joe can avoid such misfortunes
And make money in generous portions,
By performing, for Kyrie,
(Until she grows weary)
Cunnilingus, Swan Lake, and abortions.
--- Scott C

This is file hgl

Joe Zeugma's vexations grew rifer
Since Kyriad played on his fifer;
Because this teen played,
Joe Zeugma was made
A father, a pauper, a 'lifer.'
--- Travis Brasell

Joe Zeugma's new paramour, Piper,
Is so wildly frenetic and hyper,
That she oft rearranges
A room while she changes
Her clothes, and her mind, and a diaper.
--- Hugh Clary

Poor Betty has several woes,
'Cause her mother's announced that she knows
How last night she got smashed,
And later had crashed
Her computer, her car, and at Joe's.
--- Anon

The sangria sipped with sanguinity,
Her senses soon slipped to infinity;
Next day, to her cost,
She found she had lost
Control, and her drawers, her virginity.
--- Tiddy Ogg

As the judge at Joe's trial was a she,
Mr. Zeugma was pleased, because he,
Having turned on the charm
Her concerns to disarm,
Copped himself both a feel and a plea.
--- Scott

I once met a man with a stash
Of stuff, and he sold me some hash.
Effect: much like boozing,
A sure way of losing
Consciousness, freedom, and cash.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Joe Zeugma's new girl, Nancy Todd,
Likes basketball, dice, and his bod.
So each weekend's a hoot,
When he's able to shoot
Some craps and some hoops and his wad.
--- Anon

Back in high school, Joe Zeugma, got D's,
And enjoyed fatty foods, dripping grease.
He'd be found, now and then,
In a gambling den
Cutting class, and cards, and the cheese.
--- Hugh Clary

ZEUGMA's dual modification
Leaves an ambiguous sensation,
Rather sylleptic,
But not dyspeptic:
Cunning, punning, mental gyration.
--- Daniel Ford

When Joe Zeugma was courting Ms Phipps,
He promised her holiday trips
Like cruisin', in hopin'
When he called, she'd open
The door, and her heart, and her lips.
--- Hugh Clary

Zeugma ran a few laps, at a lope;
Feeling great, sparred some rounds; jumped some rope.
But his good mood turned sour
When, in the men's shower,
He dropped both his guard and the soap.
--- Anon

Joe Zeugma thinks quick on his feet,
So, feeling the heat of the meat
At his sphincter, petite,
He decided to beat
The guy off and a hasty retreat.
--- Hugh Clary

Now Betty was chaste, a pure maid
Until "Farewell Mother," she bade,
And met up with Joe
Went to his condo --
Was fedded and bedded and laid
--- Anon

I went to the penny arcade,
Inserted a quarter and played:
An old porno flick,
With my stiff dick,
And Helga, the toothless mop maid.
--- Travis Brasell

My darling, I'll get you a rose,
And find you wherever you goes.
My head is stuffed thick,
With snot, so I'll pick
Fresh flowers and you up and my nose.
--- Anon

Against willfulness there's no defense.
Take the geek who defies common sense.
He hates to be bossed;
Won't accept a "get lost";
Gets the gate, evens score, takes offense (a fence).
--- Esther Koch P0112

The abbot buys marmalade kegs,
Since the Prioress frequently begs
Him to visit her bed,
And it's frolic to spread
The Gospel, the jam and her legs.
--- Randog

Joe Zeugma, when landing with clatter,
Confessed he was wiser but sadder:
In attempting coition
The position of Titian,
Fell from grace and from Grace and the ladder.
--- Anon

Chris snapped dull incisors, I fled,
'Cause the tearing of man-flesh I dread.
Her word-play is wild,
So, hence, I have filed
A grievance, her teeth, and this thread.
--- Randog

Baseball Joe's nuts sure were sore
As he popped one down third past Lenore.
Tipping his silver flask,
Passing home he did ask,
Tied her up, and one on, and the score.
--- John Miller

Old Hugh is quite prone to these rants.
And premature? Ain't got a chance;
Takes the Lord's name in vain.
No surprise there's a stain
On his honor, his soul, and his pants.
--- Anon

I met a balloonist named Barney,
Half-drunk in a pub in Killarney.
He spoke lots of bull;
I knew he was full
Of hot air and Guinness and blarney.
--- Tiddy Ogg

When I tried a "Zeugma", a cloud
Hung over my head, then a shroud
Engulfed me completely;
But Hugh does 'em neatly
And, dammit, he's made us all proud!
--- Anon

Though a cold had Joe Zeugma's new Miss,
She unselfishly offered him bliss.
On her way to Peru,
She stopped and she blew
His dick and her nose and a kiss.
--- Hugh Clary

As on with word play I blunder,
I'm puzzled what influence Hugh's under.
He charms words like snakes
And somehow he makes
Me laugh, and them rhyme, and me wonder.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Well, now you have said it so well,
Hugh Clary is under some spell!
His Joe Zeugma thread
Has started to spread
Some lies, and some thighs, and a smell.
--- Travis Brasell

Joe Zeugma, she simply adored,
Though he seemed to be rather bored.
She suddenly farted;
He quickly departed
In a hurry, a huff and a Ford.
--- Observer

She removed her blouse and her brassiere.
He poured him a cold frothy beer.
Then, in a ZEUGMA neat,
He accomplished the feat
Of taking her from her husband and the rear.
--- Norm Brust

At the caucus, this winter, her blubber
Made Piper think Zeugma might snub her.
"But I wouldn't," he quipped,
As he rapidly slipped
On some ice, and the polls, and a rubber.
--- Hugh Clary

Joe's mule couldn't move off the grass
'Til Sister Christina did pass
With her water-filled pail.
Joe, then, without fail,
Kicked the habit, the bucket and ass.
--- Ericka

The taking of nuns took its toll
On their virtue of which we extol.
Taken by his great charm,
Their concerns he'd disarm,
Taking knickers, then cherry, then soul.
--- Randog

He went to his girlfriend's to sup,
And thought he heard sounds of a schtup,
Like a bed being rocked.
So abruptly he knocked
On the door, and him out, and her up.
--- Hugh Clary

The Abbot said, "Good things don't last,
But Prioress I had a blast,
Which sadly, has quit!"
And having said, lit
The lamp, a cigar and out fast.
--- Anon


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