For fifty per hour she's hired.
As soon as her new boss desired,
"Will you please undress?"
For fifty per, "Yes."
In twenty more minutes, she's fired.
--- Irving Superior P9408

The unionized whores of Miss Clift
Would fuck all day long without rift,
But the girl fucking Hugh
Disengaged halfway through,
And gave up at the end of her shift.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8608

A homely young harlot named Gert,
Used to streetwalk until her corns hurt.
But now she just stands
Upside down on her hands,
With her face covered up by her skirt.
--- G1795

By harlots, the novice is vexed,
And often he stands there, perplexed.
She goes through the motion
Of utter devotion,
Then discharges him, shouting "Who's next?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1688

Over beer in a dimly lit bar,
I was puffing a ten-cent cigar,
When a girl of a sort
Said, "You look like a sport."
And my wife in the shadows said "Har!"
--- John Ciardi

Jane Smith is a pain in the arse, she
Thinks "Served with fine herbs" denotes parsley.
And even while whoring,
Her action is boring.
She puts in some wiggles -- but sparsely.
--- John Miller

A cagy old madam named Bryce
Was ready for all, in a trice.
She never ran short
Of girls for the sport;
She kept a few hot ones on ice.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1458

I'm Gertie, the friendly house madam;
Name each kind of guy and we've had 'em.
The rich and the poor
All came through our door;
Our first was that guy they called Adam.
--- Don Tidwell

An affectionate madam of Wheeling
Has no trouble her passion revealing,
And can rise quite above
The effusion of love
With, at bottom, a warm mellow feeling.
--- Keith MacMillan A123B

Though the Wall Street reaction was laughter,
In Nevada they show what they're after.
The prospectus declares
The intent to sell shares
For whorehouses in and near Shafter.
--- A N Wilkins P8812

A way to spur business occurred
To thoughtful old madam McNurd.
She attracted new trade
And the boys had it made,
When she offered two sterns for each bird.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1620

A madam, a hooker of late,
Went to answer a ring at the gate.
But when she got there,
A chap drew her stare,
Wrapped in bandages up to his pate.
--- Lilsil2

The bandages hid every inch,
Which caused the madam to flinch.
"What brings you, Sir Knight
To this place of the night?"
"I'm here with my pecker, to wench!"
--- Lilsil2

"Please don't take what I tell you, ill,
I'm sure you our coffers would fill,
But in your sad state,
How the hell can you mate?
Though I congratulate you on your will.
--- Lilsil2

"Don't worry," he quickly did tell,
"I'm up to it, really quite well.
In fact," he then hinted,
"Though I am wrapped and splinted,
What'd you think that it was rang the bell?"
--- Lilsil2

There once was a little old lady
Engaged in a profession shady.
The girls called her Madam
She called the men "Adam";
She was a bawdy saleslady.
--- Anon

There was a young madam named White,
Who claimed that she gave prime delight.
She said her agitation
Was the best in the nation,
And the men who survived said she's right!
--- Albin Chaplin a

The madam who runs the old Crown
Just likes to put "tin badges" down.
She said, "I don't care if
You call him the sherrif,
I've got the best posse in town."
--- David Miller

Sweet Winnifred strove to excel
In the brothel till sickness befell.
For the madam was sure
That she'd lost her allure
Since an ill Winn blows nobody well.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9205a

Said perturbed Madam Mae, up Shit Creek:
"We ain't sold a fuck for a week.
We have cunt, we have bingo,
With a bottle of stingo--
If that won't lure men, it's a freak."

(stingo - sharp or strong liquor)
--- G1866

The madam for whom the belles toil
Said, "We don't lay according to Hoyle...
To sevice their tools,
We invent our own rules,
And they sure bring the boys to a boil!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 979

Said a madame by name Mrs. Reaper,
"You accuse, making me a weeper.
Will you please listen why
I can not tell a lie?
I am not my brothel's keeper."
--- Tom Patton P0305

There was an old madam called Rainey,
Adept at her business, and brainy.
She charged ten buck or more,
For a seasoned old whore,
But a dollar would get you a trainee.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1858

The madam who came to Racine
Found that business was not very keen,
Since a robot designer
Had made one to fuck finer.
So she busted his fucking machine.
--- Albin Chaplin

A carnival Madam said we are
Busy in spring 'cause we see our
Customer gents
Do their thing in our tents,
And avoid engaging in PR.

The Madam replied to Bill Sloan,
"Sexual parts are NOT things you can loan.
Although I regret it,
You must come and get it,
For our tail's not for sale via phone."
--- Grand Prix Lim 520

A madam, Aunt Mame in Saint Jo
Told the cop, "No one's here known as Moe.
Clients calling, I've found
Never do stick around...
For our customers just come and go.
--- Grand Prix Lim 165

There was a young madam, a peach,
Who would lure groups of men from the beach.
When she got them indoors,
She'd phone various whores
And collect a commission from each.
--- John Ciardi

Sin fighters with banners of Jesus,
Showed films on veneral diseases.
But a madam named Stoker
Stole a march with a smoker,
Where she offered free pinches and squeezes.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1554

Said a wicked old madam named Belle,
Whom the preacher was threatening with Hell,
"I have no regrets,
No doubts--and no debts.
If I haven't done good, I've done well."
--- John Ciardi

A madam named Fay of Black Pubes
Said, "We lay city fellows, not rubes.
The hicks from the sticks
Have sheep shit on their pricks,
And they plug our Fallopian tubes."
--- G1202

The madam on Ball Street, East Mott,
Said: "Our stock in trade here is twat.
We are famous as wreckers
Of pulsing red peckers,
So drop in next time you are hot!"
--- G1780

A crusading newspaper editor,
A studsman, beast, sex fiend, and predator,
Got a madam dismayed
Saying, "Look for a raid,
If you don't promptly become my best creditor."
--- G2688

This is file ham

A madam I'm not, but I've had 'em!
Did you know -- when boffing a madam,
No matter which way
She turns she will stay
The same? She's consistently madam!
--- Anon

A civil rights madam named Grace
Was open for white or black race.
Only one, though, could have her,
A young buck named Traver,
For the rest could not maintain the pace.
--- Albin Chaplin

A religious old madam named Grunday,
For one day each week she had "Nun Day."
And her business did peak
At the end of the week
When she made it a "Father and Son Day."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1540

An artful old madam named Bunce
In business was nobody's dunce.
She invited all jokers
To her excellent smokers,
Where she showed them some fine cunning stunts.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1460

Madamoiselle from Armentieres
Has been a Madam, sixty years.
However if you
Should sing 'Parley Vous'
You might arouse a pair of tears.
--- Irving Superior P9205

There was an old madam named Douglas --
The floors in her house were all rugless.
And what passed off as beds
Were but tatters and shreds,
But she claimed that her harlots were bugless.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1494

There was a young fellow named Adam,
Who said to the whorehouse's madam,
"Just bring on your crew,
For I'm ready to screw."
Then, including the madam, he had 'em.
--- Isaac Asimov

The neighborhood house of ill-fame
Will never again be the same,
Since virile young Booker
Wore out every hooker,
And then buggered the madam, Old Mame!
--- Grand Prix Lim 168 G1808

Heidi Fleiss says she plans to turn fink;
If she squeals then many will sink.
There is one in D.C.,
That she will fricassee;
But it's not Bill, as you logically think.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

After downing a few beers one day,
He went to the whore-house for a lay.
"Madam", he said, "I'm Saddam,
And well versed in Sodom."
Said the Madam, "We hire men in May!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A practical prostitute, Pru,
Got rich when her client-list grew.
Then she had enough bread
To send in her stead,
A substitute wench for each screw.
--- Norm Storer P0012

There was a young madam named Kline
Who always kept prices in line.
She did not deal with tramps,
She had S & H Stamps
And she charged just a buck ninety-nine.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1568

A friend of mine from Nantucket,
Put all of his cash in a bucket;
Paid it all to madam
To buy some fresh clam,
And was only allowed just to suck it.
--- Conch

The madam bewailed in Fort Howells,
"My overhead's douches and towels.
Men clamor for vices,
But kick at the prices...
What they need is a kick in the bowels!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 348

There was an old madam named Tuckers,
Who simplified matters for truckers.
She equipped all her dives
With a room for the wives,
And young lads with their dads received suckers.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1682

A scrubby old whore of Racine
Invited a lad of sixteen
Every week to have three,
And she charged him no fee,
For she said a new broom will sweep clean.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1644

A hustling old madam named Park
Provided young girls who had spark.
She gave drinks, up to three,
Turkey sandwiches free,
And a choice between light meat or dark.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1624

A degenerate madam of Tulsa
Was so fast that no man dared repulsa,
Save a person who could
And who frequently would
In libidinous orgy, convulsa.
--- Keith MacMillan A097A

Annie Chambers's plans rarely miscarried.
Though the length of the stay with her varied;
A girl seldom withdrew
From the elegant stew,
Till Annie had seen her well-married.

(stew - brothel)
--- A N Wilkins P9205

In a cat house just out of Cochise,
Madam asked, "Have you got a good piece?
If not, put her back,
And wait here, Big Jack,
And I'll send you a niece."
--- Grand Prix Lim 781

Said the Madam to Bumplepup Brown,
"My gals have the best tricks in town.
If you want a real honey,
Flash a frogskin, dough, money...
Or your pants have no chance to drop down."
--- Grand Prix Lim 767

The madam who hailed from Moselle
Had found that her girls did not sell.
He hired a boy scout
To give all a workout;
He advised that they quit raising hell.
--- Albin Chaplin

A salesman who went to Red Deer
Found the brothel was booked for the year.
When he pestered Madam,
She said, "Wait, young man.
I've an opening for you right here!"
--- Alex Heydon P0402

The sex sale next door ends today,
And I've no dough to pay for a lay.
The Madam has said it:
She'll give me no credit,
For I still owe for lays from last May!
--- G1877

A madam from Madison Heights
Said men of all races had rights.
So to be fair and square,
She shared her derriere,
And a part of her clients were whites.
--- Albin Chaplin

Miss Jane ran a whorehouse in Kent;
She asked no advance, not a cent.
In most business we know,
It is pay as you go,
But with Jane it was pay as you went.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1559

The irate old Madam McCall
Got a grip on a deadbeat's left ball.
And she cried, "Either pay
For two blows and a lay,
Or you'll leave her with no balls at all!"
--- G1823

Good income for skilled routines
By young women out of their teens.
Must have a good mind,
Be genteel and refined.
Apply Polly Adler in Queens.
--- A N Wilkins P8703

"Our price, you will find, rather varies:
From Angie, who often miscarries--
She's a buck for a lay--
To ten bucks for Big Mae,
And a hundred for virgins with cherries."
--- G1882

Old Hitler in fits of caprice
The mad dogs of war did release.
But madam McAdams
Collected her madams
And leased out the pussies of piece.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1466

A bashful young lawyer from Stowe,
One night to a brothel did go.
Whe he asked about price,
Said the madam, with ice,
"It's a case, sir, of 'quid quo pro'.
--- Macsam

There was an old harlot named Ford
Who was by all actors adored.
Though she was notorious,
Her actions were glorious.
She received an Acadamy Award.
--- Albin Chaplin

A fifth Avenue Madam named Schmeer
Told a comely young wench living here,
"The hole sale trade, Honey,
Pays off in real money,
And you sit on a fortune, My Dear!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 524