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For fifty per hour she's hired. The unionized whores of Miss Clift A homely young harlot named Gert, By harlots, the novice is vexed, Over beer in a dimly lit bar, Jane Smith is a pain in the arse, she A cagy old madam named Bryce I'm Gertie, the friendly house madam; An affectionate madam of Wheeling Though the Wall Street reaction was laughter, A way to spur business occurred A madam, a hooker of late, The bandages hid every inch, "Please don't take what I tell you, ill, "Don't worry," he quickly did tell, There once was a little old lady There was a young madam named White, The madam who runs the old Crown Sweet Winnifred strove to excel Said perturbed Madam Mae, up Shit Creek: (stingo - sharp or strong liquor)
The madam for whom the belles toil Said a madame by name Mrs. Reaper, There was an old madam called Rainey, The madam who came to Racine A carnival Madam said we are The Madam replied to Bill Sloan, A madam, Aunt Mame in Saint Jo There was a young madam, a peach, Sin fighters with banners of Jesus, Said a wicked old madam named Belle, A madam named Fay of Black Pubes The madam on Ball Street, East Mott, A crusading newspaper editor, A madam I'm not, but I've had 'em! A civil rights madam named Grace A religious old madam named Grunday, An artful old madam named Bunce Madamoiselle from Armentieres There was an old madam named Douglas -- There was a young fellow named Adam, The neighborhood house of ill-fame Heidi Fleiss says she plans to turn fink; After downing a few beers one day, A practical prostitute, Pru, There was a young madam named Kline A friend of mine from Nantucket, The madam bewailed in Fort Howells, There was an old madam named Tuckers, A scrubby old whore of Racine A hustling old madam named Park A degenerate madam of Tulsa Annie Chambers's plans rarely miscarried. (stew - brothel)
In a cat house just out of Cochise, Said the Madam to Bumplepup Brown, The madam who hailed from Moselle A salesman who went to Red Deer The sex sale next door ends today, A madam from Madison Heights Miss Jane ran a whorehouse in Kent; The irate old Madam McCall Good income for skilled routines "Our price, you will find, rather varies: Old Hitler in fits of caprice A bashful young lawyer from Stowe, There was an old harlot named Ford A fifth Avenue Madam named Schmeer
As soon as her new boss desired,
"Will you please undress?"
For fifty per, "Yes."
In twenty more minutes, she's fired.
--- Irving Superior P9408
Would fuck all day long without rift,
But the girl fucking Hugh
Disengaged halfway through,
And gave up at the end of her shift.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8608
Used to streetwalk until her corns hurt.
But now she just stands
Upside down on her hands,
With her face covered up by her skirt.
--- G1795
And often he stands there, perplexed.
She goes through the motion
Of utter devotion,
Then discharges him, shouting "Who's next?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1688
I was puffing a ten-cent cigar,
When a girl of a sort
Said, "You look like a sport."
And my wife in the shadows said "Har!"
--- John Ciardi
Thinks "Served with fine herbs" denotes parsley.
And even while whoring,
Her action is boring.
She puts in some wiggles -- but sparsely.
--- John Miller
Was ready for all, in a trice.
She never ran short
Of girls for the sport;
She kept a few hot ones on ice.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1458
Name each kind of guy and we've had 'em.
The rich and the poor
All came through our door;
Our first was that guy they called Adam.
--- Don Tidwell
Has no trouble her passion revealing,
And can rise quite above
The effusion of love
With, at bottom, a warm mellow feeling.
--- Keith MacMillan A123B
In Nevada they show what they're after.
The prospectus declares
The intent to sell shares
For whorehouses in and near Shafter.
--- A N Wilkins P8812
To thoughtful old madam McNurd.
She attracted new trade
And the boys had it made,
When she offered two sterns for each bird.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1620
Went to answer a ring at the gate.
But when she got there,
A chap drew her stare,
Wrapped in bandages up to his pate.
--- Lilsil2
Which caused the madam to flinch.
"What brings you, Sir Knight
To this place of the night?"
"I'm here with my pecker, to wench!"
--- Lilsil2
I'm sure you our coffers would fill,
But in your sad state,
How the hell can you mate?
Though I congratulate you on your will.
--- Lilsil2
"I'm up to it, really quite well.
In fact," he then hinted,
"Though I am wrapped and splinted,
What'd you think that it was rang the bell?"
--- Lilsil2
Engaged in a profession shady.
The girls called her Madam
She called the men "Adam";
She was a bawdy saleslady.
--- Anon
Who claimed that she gave prime delight.
She said her agitation
Was the best in the nation,
And the men who survived said she's right!
--- Albin Chaplin a
Just likes to put "tin badges" down.
She said, "I don't care if
You call him the sherrif,
I've got the best posse in town."
--- David Miller
In the brothel till sickness befell.
For the madam was sure
That she'd lost her allure
Since an ill Winn blows nobody well.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9205a
"We ain't sold a fuck for a week.
We have cunt, we have bingo,
With a bottle of stingo--
If that won't lure men, it's a freak."
--- G1866
Said, "We don't lay according to Hoyle...
To sevice their tools,
We invent our own rules,
And they sure bring the boys to a boil!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 979
"You accuse, making me a weeper.
Will you please listen why
I can not tell a lie?
I am not my brothel's keeper."
--- Tom Patton P0305
Adept at her business, and brainy.
She charged ten buck or more,
For a seasoned old whore,
But a dollar would get you a trainee.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1858
Found that business was not very keen,
Since a robot designer
Had made one to fuck finer.
So she busted his fucking machine.
--- Albin Chaplin
Busy in spring 'cause we see our
Customer gents
Do their thing in our tents,
And avoid engaging in PR.
--- OBP LIS
"Sexual parts are NOT things you can loan.
Although I regret it,
You must come and get it,
For our tail's not for sale via phone."
--- Grand Prix Lim 520
Told the cop, "No one's here known as Moe.
Clients calling, I've found
Never do stick around...
For our customers just come and go.
--- Grand Prix Lim 165
Who would lure groups of men from the beach.
When she got them indoors,
She'd phone various whores
And collect a commission from each.
--- John Ciardi
Showed films on veneral diseases.
But a madam named Stoker
Stole a march with a smoker,
Where she offered free pinches and squeezes.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1554
Whom the preacher was threatening with Hell,
"I have no regrets,
No doubts--and no debts.
If I haven't done good, I've done well."
--- John Ciardi
Said, "We lay city fellows, not rubes.
The hicks from the sticks
Have sheep shit on their pricks,
And they plug our Fallopian tubes."
--- G1202
Said: "Our stock in trade here is twat.
We are famous as wreckers
Of pulsing red peckers,
So drop in next time you are hot!"
--- G1780
A studsman, beast, sex fiend, and predator,
Got a madam dismayed
Saying, "Look for a raid,
If you don't promptly become my best creditor."
--- G2688
This is file ham
Did you know -- when boffing a madam,
No matter which way
She turns she will stay
The same? She's consistently madam!
--- Anon
Was open for white or black race.
Only one, though, could have her,
A young buck named Traver,
For the rest could not maintain the pace.
--- Albin Chaplin
For one day each week she had "Nun Day."
And her business did peak
At the end of the week
When she made it a "Father and Son Day."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1540
In business was nobody's dunce.
She invited all jokers
To her excellent smokers,
Where she showed them some fine cunning stunts.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1460
Has been a Madam, sixty years.
However if you
Should sing 'Parley Vous'
You might arouse a pair of tears.
--- Irving Superior P9205
The floors in her house were all rugless.
And what passed off as beds
Were but tatters and shreds,
But she claimed that her harlots were bugless.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1494
Who said to the whorehouse's madam,
"Just bring on your crew,
For I'm ready to screw."
Then, including the madam, he had 'em.
--- Isaac Asimov
Will never again be the same,
Since virile young Booker
Wore out every hooker,
And then buggered the madam, Old Mame!
--- Grand Prix Lim 168 G1808
If she squeals then many will sink.
There is one in D.C.,
That she will fricassee;
But it's not Bill, as you logically think.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He went to the whore-house for a lay.
"Madam", he said, "I'm Saddam,
And well versed in Sodom."
Said the Madam, "We hire men in May!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Got rich when her client-list grew.
Then she had enough bread
To send in her stead,
A substitute wench for each screw.
--- Norm Storer P0012
Who always kept prices in line.
She did not deal with tramps,
She had S & H Stamps
And she charged just a buck ninety-nine.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1568
Put all of his cash in a bucket;
Paid it all to madam
To buy some fresh clam,
And was only allowed just to suck it.
--- Conch
"My overhead's douches and towels.
Men clamor for vices,
But kick at the prices...
What they need is a kick in the bowels!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 348
Who simplified matters for truckers.
She equipped all her dives
With a room for the wives,
And young lads with their dads received suckers.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1682
Invited a lad of sixteen
Every week to have three,
And she charged him no fee,
For she said a new broom will sweep clean.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1644
Provided young girls who had spark.
She gave drinks, up to three,
Turkey sandwiches free,
And a choice between light meat or dark.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1624
Was so fast that no man dared repulsa,
Save a person who could
And who frequently would
In libidinous orgy, convulsa.
--- Keith MacMillan A097A
Though the length of the stay with her varied;
A girl seldom withdrew
From the elegant stew,
Till Annie had seen her well-married.
--- A N Wilkins P9205
Madam asked, "Have you got a good piece?
If not, put her back,
And wait here, Big Jack,
And I'll send you a virgin...my niece."
--- Grand Prix Lim 781
"My gals have the best tricks in town.
If you want a real honey,
Flash a frogskin, dough, money...
Or your pants have no chance to drop down."
--- Grand Prix Lim 767
Had found that her girls did not sell.
He hired a boy scout
To give all a workout;
He advised that they quit raising hell.
--- Albin Chaplin
Found the brothel was booked for the year.
When he pestered Madam,
She said, "Wait, young man.
I've an opening for you right here!"
--- Alex Heydon P0402
And I've no dough to pay for a lay.
The Madam has said it:
She'll give me no credit,
For I still owe for lays from last May!
--- G1877
Said men of all races had rights.
So to be fair and square,
She shared her derriere,
And a part of her clients were whites.
--- Albin Chaplin
She asked no advance, not a cent.
In most business we know,
It is pay as you go,
But with Jane it was pay as you went.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1559
Got a grip on a deadbeat's left ball.
And she cried, "Either pay
For two blows and a lay,
Or you'll leave her with no balls at all!"
--- G1823
By young women out of their teens.
Must have a good mind,
Be genteel and refined.
Apply Polly Adler in Queens.
--- A N Wilkins P8703
From Angie, who often miscarries--
She's a buck for a lay--
To ten bucks for Big Mae,
And a hundred for virgins with cherries."
--- G1882
The mad dogs of war did release.
But madam McAdams
Collected her madams
And leased out the pussies of piece.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1466
One night to a brothel did go.
Whe he asked about price,
Said the madam, with ice,
"It's a case, sir, of 'quid quo pro'.
--- Macsam
Who was by all actors adored.
Though she was notorious,
Her actions were glorious.
She received an Acadamy Award.
--- Albin Chaplin
Told a comely young wench living here,
"The hole sale trade, Honey,
Pays off in real money,
And you sit on a fortune, My Dear!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 524
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