MORE
But suddenly, what did he see "Oh shit!" said old Roger and squirted A certain old pervert named Casement His sibling, a far finer Casement, I once knew a girl named Petunia, I heard of that gal named Petunia, I once knew a bloke called Jack, A mate I thought straight, he then said, I met a young fellow the other day, "That is simply not for me", I said; There was one who gave me a chase, But beavers are always more fun; There's a blonde girl in room 24, They came to repair it, it's said, She told me the story thus far, So making love to the chimes of Big Ben, There was an old spinster called Maude "I've wanted," sobbed Claude, "all my life, I just met this Queen that you've seen, Can you give this poor guy some advice; I saw her from across the room; I asked her if she might, per chance, A deep, sultry, southernly voice, When the band had finished their song, I hoped like hell "he" would not follow. There was a young lass in Manila; As she sought a veggie delight, With a smile she went to his cart, Getting mad, she said "Are you so blind? But the guy said "Hey, girl, though you're cute, When a guy stares into a girl's eyes, In Frisco, make damn sure of this, In the Long Island Railroad, a queer Two queers were about to be lovers; Here's Jerry, whose monstrous great dick's And once shooting's done for the day, The truth is, he's really no use, A certified pansy namaed Bloom A lesbian in Shaker Heights While driving, two queers in Calais Said a fag to a queer named Salome, Lesbians Sally and Rose, "Who came to my tea?" wailed Dame Tupple. There once were a couple of queers, Now Paul and Barry were transies, (transvestites) It's tough in these days of P.C. Said Anne to her sweet lover, Ellen, The guests all looked on with a smile, Arrested in truckstop commodes, A fudge packer by the name of Ray Everyone has their tale's of woe. There are those who will tell you romance, Let me tell 'bout who I'd been seeing; Things going fine and then "BAM"! He's off for a month in Hawaii, Night is when that I find How can I get my work done? Now he is having a "rest", Saturday, I fly to Hollywood, I met a guy named Brian, There were two gay young people from Trowse There is a young fellow named Harold A usual loser named Pruitt Two gays finally made their debut One day old Jack Smith and Jack Means Well I am extremely offended!
Hanging down from the lodger's left knee?
A humungous great bone,
Twice as thick as his own,
And as thick as the trunk of a tree!
--- Peter Wilkins
Much jelly and cream which alerted
The lodger below,
Who said, "Jolly good show;
But I think you're a trifle perverted."
--- Peter Wilkins
Is guilty of heinous debasement;
The plain simple fact is
What guys like him practice,
Comes under the head of displacement.
--- Armand E Singer 936A
Was known for extreme self abasement;
Thus, dispite all his good work,
He was lost in the wood work,
Result, a near total effacement.
--- Armand E Singer 937
With a marvelous new way of screwin' ya.
She would mount from behind,
Then she'd bump and she'd grind,
Would please ya although it could ruin ya.
--- John Miller
Who could most certainly ruin ya.
Seems 'she' was a 'he'
And liked men, yesiree;
She'd mount from behind and spray spoo in ya!
--- Gearhart
Who was always in and out of the sack.
But Jack, he was gay,
For his farts, they would say,
"Poof", as they left through his crack.
--- Queensland Person
That Jack gave magnificent head.
Though I'd not heard it all,
It'll be 'Bums To The Wall!'
Till someone can prove I'm misled.
--- Queensland Person
Who openly confessed "I am gay".
"I experience delight
And pleasures outa sight
In an about face kind of a way".
--- Anon
"I would never give a man head!
Nor apply my renal
To your duodenal;
I would rather have beavers instead!"
--- Anon
A Minor League pitcher called Ace.
But he had lotsa nerve:
Aimed to throw me a curve
Then split ere I got to burst face.
--- Anon
As catchers, they're second to none.
They'll gobble your wood
And make you feel good,
'Fore saying, "I gotta roam, Hon".
--- Anon
This story I'm sure you'll abhor.
Her lock it was broken;
Her resistance a token;
But nobody knocked on her door.
--- Anon
While the girl lay asleep o her bed.
The carpenters dreams
Fell apart at the seams,
When he dropped the new lock on her head.
--- Anon
As she gave me a lift in her car.
But I am quite sure
That there will be more,
Room twenty four is not far.
--- Anon
At half past or quarter to ten,
Or in that vicinity,
She lost her virginity.
The lady in question is Glen.
--- Anon
At whom everyone laughed and guffawed;
Until handsome young Bert
Caused a tent in her skirt,
Which revealed she was really a Claude.
--- Peter Wilkins
Just to be somebody's dear wife.
Strong hormones I take
So my titties shake,
But I've not gone under the knife."
--- Anon
Said her name wasn't Claude but Claudine.
And this is no joke,
So I gave her a poke;
My poor little cock has turned green.
--- Anon
To get my own colour back would be nice.
I feel such a dope
When I open my coat,
My flashes have just got to be nice.
--- Anon
When our eyes met, I was doomed.
Was hoping she'd make up
For my recent break up,
And help chase away all the gloom.
--- Gearhart
Fancy a romantic dance.
The way she said "Yesss,"
I must confess,
Almost made me cream in my pants.
--- Gearhart
A body, so pleasantly choice,
That long flowing hair
And transfixing stare,
Made my palms sweaty amd moist.
--- Gearhart
I felt something terribly wrong.
Against me was pressed
From behind that dress,
A bulge that had to be a dong!
--- Gearhart
I was not in search for a fellow.
It at last dawned on me
As I reached my MG,
Why the name of the bar was "The Swallow."
--- Gearhart
It seems that no boyfriend could thrill her.
To the market she'd go,
Check the bins to and fro,
To find a nice gourd to fulfill her.
--- Anon
A handsome young stud she caught sight.
She had thoughts of romance,
For a bulge in his pants,
Meant he probably stayed up all night.
--- Anon
Intending to intercourse start.
But far from being nice,
He'd just point to the price
Of the produce he'd brought to the mart.
--- Anon
Don't I bring thoughts of lust to your mind?
If you handle things right
We could really be tight."
And to make her point, rubbed her behind.
--- Anon
Any hopes of our mingling is moot.
Just between you and me,
No vegetables, see;
I'm one of those merchants who's fruit."
--- Anon
And he takes a deep breath and then sighs,
It's a safe bet to take
That the next move he'll make
Is to reach with his hand 'tween her thighs.
--- Brasel
That the chick you meet's really a Miss;
After kisses and sighs,
With your hand 'tween her thighs,
You'll say "Huh! Omigod! What is this?"
--- Allen Wolverton
Said to his fairy shackmate, "My dear,
You leave first next station,
For I LOVE the sensation
When I come after you in the rear.
--- Grand Prix Lim 521
This is file gym
They had yet to dive under the covers.
When using the couch,
His back went out -- OUCH!
And he took a long time to recover.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The feature of many porn flicks.
I'm sure you have seen
It there with a teen
Tart, teaching the trollop some tricks.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Both Jerry and Ben are away,
A-burgling of turds,
Of fellas, not birds,
In bars near the beach on the bay.
--- Tiddy Ogg
At plundering a female caboose,
So gay boyfriend, Ben's
There, hid from the lens,
Ensuring his dick don't refuse.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Is wedding a fruit of the loom,
But it's hard to assign
In a manner condign, (worthy)
The roles of the bride and the groom.
--- Armand E Singer 311
Shocks neighbors...she leaves on the lights,
When her butch arrives there,
And the lush undraped pair
Indulge in their bulging delights.
--- Grand Prix Lim 392
Bumped into each other one day.
So they glared nose to nose
Then they both exchanged blows,
And they happily went on their way.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0797
"If you think you're so good, simply show me."
Said the queer, "Why you prick, you,
I'll deck you and click you,
Before you can throw me and blow me."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0875
Oft fight, and punch each other's nose.
But after each shakeup,
Then then kiss and make up
And so, once again, they come to blows.
--- Tiddy Ogg
"Just some cupcakes, fruit pies and a couple
Of ding-dongs and twinkies,
Who kept twirling their pinkies,
And unmentionable things far more supple.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who loved going on basketeers.
One preferred, you may guess,
The right, to left-dress,
But for hangs-in-the-middle--just jeers!
--- L1519
Converted from being chimpanzees;
Their asses were runny,
But neither was funny:
Just a couple of dumb fuckin' pansies.
--- Anon
To figure just who it may be,
Who's having the fun.
'Cause some folks tastes run
To same gender unions, I see.
--- Chris Papa
"I saw you looking at Helen.
I mean Helen Hunt.
If you want her cunt,
That's the last of mine you'll be smellin'!
--- Mike M TP9802
As Elton and David's lifestyle
Became blessed. Well leastways,
Till averting their gaze,
When he then took him straight down the aisle.
--- Doug Harris
The toolman quite loudly explodes;
"The police are unfair
When us drivers they snare,
We were merely exchanging our loads!"
--- Anon
Had a boyfriend who also was gay.
"His lips don't delight me,
Nor do they excite me,
But I believe that his fanny may."
--- Tom Patton P9708
Tonight, in self pity, I'll go.
Alone I do sit;
A blank screen is lit,
And I find myself short on the dough!
--- Anon
For each is a difficult dance.
But gay or straight,
Once you've put out the bait,
You'll have taken one hell of a chance!
--- Anon
He's a smooth, muscular human being.
"Eye Candy", it's true!
But I must tell you.
It's fine when his "giftee", I'm "gee-ing"! (Bobby Burns)
--- Anon
He said to "Get with the program!".
Now if I want to lay him,
He said I must pay him.
You: "Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn"!
--- Anon
With someone who will pay his fee.
He won't give, but take.
Dreams of money he'll make.
I thank God that I'm me and not he!
--- Anon
I can't get him off of my mind.
Gotta get back to work;
Stop being a jerk!
But I really do need my "knob" shined!
--- Anon
He's out trying Hawaii style fun.
Does he expect me to beat,
Every night on my meat,
While he's having beach sex in the sun?
--- Anon
Being some old rich guy's "guest".
A different guy,
Has now caught my eye!
If I must pay, I'll pay for the best!
--- Anon
To pay for a porn star that's good!
You ask why I'd pay;
I'm too shy, I must say.
This is just not a gay neighborhood!
--- Anon
And I thought that he was lyin',
When he said he liked guys
With wide-open flies,
Until I met his best friend -- Ryan!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who were trying to buy a new house.
But the mortgage man said,
(And they went very red),
"You will first have to make her your spouse!"
--- Mrs G Cartmell
Who oft with two Irishmen carolled.
He finds them theatric
For Fitzgerald Fitzpatrick
As well as Fitzpatrick Fitzgerald.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0924
At last finding love, somehow knew it.
He grabbed his best friend,
Laid bare his front end --
He had his big chance and he blew it.
--- Armand E Singer 382
And publicly swore to eschew
The opposite gender
For coupling more tender--
Hugh Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzhugh.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9111
Met up with two queers in their teens
Jack and Jack beat the pair
And then just left them there --
It's the first time two Jacks beat two queens.
--- Jon Gearhart
You shouldn't be left unattended,
Because those two queers,
Might just read your jeers,
And you'll end up being up-ended.
--- Carol
MORE