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There was a young woman named Claire A local young lady called Claire A horny young farm wife named Claire, (cuke - cucumber)
A thoughtless young woman named Clare There was a young recluse of Clare A buxom young farm girl named Claire, That pretty young model called Clare A desperate spinster named Claire A Salvation Lassie named called Claire, There once was a woman named Claire, There once was a woman named Claire I knew a hairdresser called Claire, As aspiring young bimbo named Clare A modern Eau Claire girl named Claire There was a young woman named Claire, There was a young woman named Claire; The naughtiest nurse is young Claire, The Coq-au-vin bistro is where The mother of buxom Miss Claire There once was a hooker named Claire, When Tom had a lady named Clair, The curly cunt-hair on cute Claire There was a young lady named Clare; While sunbathing naked, young Claire, His assistant, young Master BooBoo Said Janet, "You're starting to rankle. A well-traveled lady of Crete A passionate lady named Jan Said a beautiful babe name of Jana The bearer, nom-de-plume Lady Jane, Jane said to her manager Pete An irascible woman named Jane There was a young woman named Jane, Then there was Janie from Hamble, There is Jeanie and her double D's, Excuse me, but what's that I hear? I missed all you gents, don't you know? Jeanie, you were missed by all; So Jeanie, please take you time For that I can't take all the credit, There was a young girl named Jen I once had a girlfriend named Jen, Now Jenny, the multiple comer, In our dotage, I noodle sweet Janet; Janet had creatures with fur The bones of the kitties were rough, Said Janet, "I can't really tell She kept some fine pigs, one or two, "My cocoon," she said, "comes with a hook The fellows were Tom, Dick, and Harry, "We've visitors here all the time," Sometimes she will visit John Miller It's true that the thing where I pee "The rich frothy brew from your tap," Said Janet, "I search with great vigor, Espying a bulge in his lap, There is a loose woman called Jenny; There once was a typist called Jenny Attractive though Jennifer be, Oh, Jennifer! Jennifer! Jen! Though Jenny can never smell nice, Because of Jen's grimly bad fetors, Regarding this matter of fee: Methinks if the price were reduced, Regarding malodorous twat: While Jen does not smell like a rose,
Who went to a party all bare.
She said, looking harassed,
And very embarrassed,
"I thought only men would be there!"
--- Anon
Dropped her drawers so her pussy could air.
She sighed with delight
As a barber named Dwight
Got his comb and then parted her hair.
--- Tim Fisher
Used a cuke when her Luke wasn't there.
And by filling her quim
With brine to the brim,
Made pickles to sell at the fair.
--- Rowdy Jack
Sprayed all sorts of goo on her hair,
Then powdered her torso
And face, only more so,
And I said, "You're polluting the air!"
--- Alsops Foibles
Who was hotly pursued by a bare
And tumescent young buck,
Desirous to fuck
And shoot a great load in her hair.
--- Hugh Clary
At eighteen had golden blond hair.
She grows apples and peaches,
And you know when she reaches,
That she also has grown quite a pear.
--- Bob Birch P0310
Has a beautiful mane of blond hair,
But everyone knows,
When she takes off her clothes,
That she's really a brunette down there.
--- Michael Horgan
Once knelt in the moonlight all bare
And prayed to her God
For a romp on the sod;
A passerby answered her prayer.
--- Anon G1535
Was having her first love affair.
As she climbed into bed,
She reverently said,
"I wish to be opened with prayer."
--- Anon L0820A
Who'd walk around perfectly bare,
Saying, "All that I show
Are my publics, you know.
My privates are covered with hair!"
--- Isaac Asimov
Whose ass was uncommonly square,
But she hid it with scads
Of her custom made pads,
So that no one was ever aware.
--- Cap'n Bean P0204
She trimmed up my thick pubic hair.
She then asked if I,
Wished her special blow dry...
It's the best I've had yet, I declare.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Has a twat with a hole that is square.
When she chose to turn pro,
She found business was slow,
Because men with square pegs are so rare.
--- William N Nesbit P9608 a
Remarked as she sprawled in a chair:
"I can tell by your glance
I forgot to wear pants,
So stare at my crotch -- I don't care!"
--- G2325
Who couldn't pass up a good dare;
The weirder, the better,
It just made her wetter,
When people would stop by and stare.
--- Rod Harden
Trombonist Jim gave her a dare:
With dildo on slider,
He played right inside her;
High C gave them both quite a scare.
--- Rod Harden
Whose cleavage is worth a close stare.
As she passes by,
She will undo your fly,
And give you a quick squeeze down there.
--- Archie
I first met the waitress, young Claire,
And quite made her jump
By requesting some rump,
As I lunged for her sweet derriere.
--- Peter
Discovered her secret affair.
She admonished her child
For her antics so wild,
"This is something we both have to share."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0083
Who greeted her customers bare.
"Every other damned trade
Keeps its stock well displayed,
So now guys who care know what's there!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 602
He was the first one to get there.
She said, "Copulation
Can result in gestation,
But I swear, now you're there, I don't care."
--- Grand Prix Lim 174
Makes the men in the nudist camp stare.
And like tigers they fight
To see who spends the night
Splitting open Claire's pubical hair.
--- G0296
A wig-maker who used real hair.
The result was fantastic,
Not like those of plastic,
Her wigs must be handled with care.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Saw her yoga instructor. "But where
Are his vest and his pants?"
She thought, sneaking a glance;
'Twas the first time she'd seen Yogi Bare.
--- Peter Wilkins
On his rod had a dainty tattoo
Of Claire's pussy lips
And saucy, sweet nips;
So embareassed, she knew not what to do.
--- Anon
It isn't your foot to the ankle
That bothers me, Toots,
But the spurs on your boots.
What that doesn't tear up, your shank'll.
--- John Miller
Was sunning herself with young Pete.
He said, "Tell me, Irene,
Why your back is so green?"
She said, "Grass never grows 'neath my feet."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2526
Said, craving a sexy young man,
"Oh, why am I slighted;
My fire is ignited;
I'm waiting as fast as I can."
--- Irene Livingston
"It's lonely out here in Montana.
I'll fuck for real cheap,
But the men here like sheep,
And the store is sold out of bananas."
--- Gene Brady
Hadn't sense to come in from the rain.
So she got pneumonia
And would constantly phone you
Just so she could bitch and complain.
--- Jane D Hughes P9009
"That memo you wrote was so sweet
About how men harass
Today's working lass --
I hope they learn soon, I'm in heat!"
--- Anon
In the ass was rather a pain.
On weekdays she would rage
Like a beast in a cage,
But on weekends she'd only complain.
--- Warrick Elrod
With a character free from all stain.
Except, I confess,
For sexual excess;
A talent of which she was vain.
--- Isaac Asimov
This is file gyl
With a figure like Naomi Campbell.
She'd lay on her yacht,
Displaying her twat,
Then onto my beam she would scramble.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A beautiful girl...aimed to please.
But sadly departed,
To waters uncharted,
With pirates off the Florida Keys.
--- Carol
You've a dearth now of females? No fear,
Sweet Jeanie is back
And I might take a crack
At limming and playing in here.
--- Jeanie
I've fond memories of long ago.
It's time to stop lurking
And get down to working.
A year's long enough a furlough.
--- Jeanie
We're glad that you've answered the call.
But if Myrtle's your aunt,
I know that you can't
Get in a rush when you're on call.
--- Cyber Wizard
And write us some limericks, sublime.
We know you're up to it;
Just sit down and do it,
And by the way, make the things rhyme!
--- Cyber Wizard
And though I've a good brain, my head it
Don't always appease
With the words that will please,
And you know that I've been known to edit.
--- Jeanie
Whose body rated a "10".
But the guy she was dating
Had questioned the rating,
And he never was heard from again.
--- LambMan
I loved her and held her and then,
She bedded one brother,
And then yet another.
She'll not be my sweetheart again.
--- Anon
Jump-started that boy with a hummer.
At his tender age
His hormones did rage;
He serviced her all through the summer.
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
Every other third Thursday we'd plan it.
Though she'd rub it with lard,
I couldn't stay hard
When into that dry hole I ran it.
--- Temujin
And menfolk that all lived with her.
They each had a bone
To hone on his own,
And she made every one of them purr.
--- John Miller
But Janet, though silky, was tough.
Though some of those wedges
Were thorny as hedges,
She never could quite get enough.
--- John Miller
In the dark, by the touch or the smell,
Of the heft, or the pitch,
Which dogbone is which,
But I think almost all of them swell.
--- John Miller
Which did all the things that boars do.
She said, "You should know
That the way that they go,
Upholds the true meaning of 'screw'."
--- John Miller
That hangs in each cranny and crook.
Getting it off
Requires a brisk boff;
They don't always come by the book."
--- John Miller
Her brothers and old Uncle Larry.
"But small nephew Ned,"
Janet once said,
"Has the bone that's most likely to vary."
--- John Miller
Said Janet, "but still it's a crime;
Tiddy Ogg never came,
Randog's just a name,
And H still refuses to rhyme."
--- John Miller
To give her hot box a light filler.
"I find less than granite
Can please me," said Janet.
"Each bang needn't be a real thriller."
--- Randog
Is soft more than hard, but you see,
As long as my wang
Responds with a "Twang!"
With Jan, it's a thriller for me.
--- John Miller
Quipped Janet, "I've downed. 'Twas a snap!
But after a blow,
I crave a quid pro quo.
Unleash that long tongue! Mind the gap!"
--- Randog
For sweets that are kind to your figure;
Jelly Babies are neat
But just girls will I eat.
The boys are that little bit bigger."
--- David Miller
Sweet Janet went down on the chap.
With plenty of pluck,
Her lips ran amuck,
Since, lacking twat, cock filled the gap.
--- Randog
I think she has slept with too many.
A tingling rush
Like cystitis or thrush
Occurs when she's spending a penny.
--- Chris Young
Who couldn't spell Abergiveny.
She tried and she tried
Till she broke down and cried:
"I know there are E's, but how many?"
--- Chris Young
She won't get a shagging from me;
She's not only got
A maloderous twat,
But she won't let me do it for free.
--- John Miller
No douching since heaven knows when.
There's Pete's and my wad
And the dog's; only God
Knows what's in the muck of than hen.
--- John Miller
I paid for her twat once or twice.
I'm under her spell;
So what if I smell?
It's better than wearing Old Spice.
--- SFA
Though free,no many would eat hers.
The stench from her culture,
Will knock off a vulture,
From shit-carts at four hundred meters.
--- David Miller
If she won't let you do it for free,
You fee should be large!
(When you overcharge,
That's all the more business for me!)
--- John Miller
Our Peter could well be seduced
By Jennifer's grim
Unsanitary quim,
No matter the smell it produced.
--- Ericka
Since that's all the pussy she's got,
You wouldn't be mean
Suggesting she clean
It with Lysol before it will rot.
--- John Miller
She often can wilt one of those.
I think you will find
That men who are blind
Could find her by using their nose.
--- SFA
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