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Our Bessie is clearly less messy Though a cow at a nightclub is droll, Poor Peter can never be proud A gas-mask may well do the trick Attractive young Jennifer claimed There's nothing new under the Sun; At the Last Chance Saloon, good old Mabel There's a repulsive lady named Mable You've taken my breath, dear Aunt Mabel, There was a young lady named Mable A much-diddled dolly named Mabel A computer programmer named Mable A tipsy young vampire named Mabel There was a young lady called Mabel There once was a hooker named Mable; There was a fat lady named Mabel Sighed her sixtyish husband, "Please, Mabel, When Chuck asked a lady named Mabel A thin tattooed lady named Mabel A network programmer named Mable The curious case of Aunt Mable There was a strip-teaser named Mabel And lastly, equestrian Mabel, There once was a lady named Mable, Though ninety and well past her prime, To humor our poor Aunty Mabel, There is the sailor's friend, Mabel, And then there was high-class pro Mabel; A middle-aged woman named Mabel, Uncle Frank was fucking Aunt Mabel Across from my house is young Mabel And then there was sex guru Mabel: There once was a jolly girl, Mable, The mathematics teacher told Mabel, A dieting lady named Mabel There was a young lady named Mable, And so to the tale of our Mabel When asked if coition was do-able, That old vampire Mabel's now dead; There was once a good girl named Mable, There was a young lady named Mabel, Said a busy young whore known as Mabel, Young Mary was so wide and so fat My sweet Mary Martin has left; I know her; they call her Marie. There was a young girl named Marie, Marie, at the Eastern States Sprints, That Mary that works in the dairy, My assistant is young Mary Zelling, You're thinking I might be named Mary? Young Mary was so tall and thin, I took our young Mary to dinner "You've tried to get in me all night," I know of a girl named Tereva, Teresa is a girl with an ileus. Canadians say "America sucks!" Most schools guys find a sexual match, The Princeton Music Dept was all men; Teresa was filled with euphoria; Teresa loves a good Canuck, "Indoor flying is dangerous, you see," Teresa is the Band's southern belle. Dear Dick, I'm out getting a tan Ann
A daring young maid from Dubuque, A student holed up in her carrel There once was a lady named Cbl. (Carol) All those of lascivious taste
And once I heard Peter confess he
Could give it a whirl,
Except that a girl
At a nightclub is clearly more dressy.
--- John Miller
So's Jen in a barn, bless my soul!
(No bull is so sick
That he'd stick his dick
Into Jennifer's smelly old hole!)
--- John Miller
Of gals what he done upped and ploughed.
But unlike our Bess,
Who'd dress to impress,
That Jen will just never be cowed.
--- SFA
If screwing this Jennifer chick,
As long as her quim
Weren't so gruesomely grim,
As to cause one a pustular prick.
--- Peter Wilkins
That she had been cruelly framed.
Though she'd never slash
The price of her gash,
The smell was still free, she proclaimed.
--- Archie
Now sweet Jennifer's become a nun.
But her smell of dead fish
Made her sisters all wish
"Pleeza God! We no more wanna be one!"
--- David Miller
Used to put all her cards on the table,
And herself on request.
If she wasn't the best,
She was open, aboveboard, and able.
--- John Ciardi M
Who makes love on the dining room table.
She masturbates
On all of the plates
Until she is no longer able.
--- Tom Patton P9603M
I'll reach you with all that I'm able
To get to stand up.
So here's a hand up...
Position yourself on this table.
--- Frank Fazed M
Who liked to sprawl out on the table,
Then cry to her man,
"Stuff in all that you can.
Get your ballocks in, too, if you're able."
--- L0317M
Always gets hers bent over a table.
"Fucking's fun," the gal said,
"But it's more fun in bed,
And best in the hay in a stable."
--- G0649aM
Had her keyboard fall off of her table.
She couldn't DELETE,
So she kicked with her feet,
And busted an interface cable.
--- Anon M
Has a menstrual cycle so stable,
That one week in four,
She gets down on the floor,
And drinks herself under the table.
--- Count Drac M
Who liked it best on the table.
What a cunt of a whore!
She'd take hundreds or more,
And invite any back who were able.
--- G0649M
In bed she had proved herself able.
She fucked like a bunny;
Called all her men, sonny,
While bent over the dining room table.
--- Dave Jennings M
Who was humping a man on a table.
As she cried out for "More!"
They both crashed to the floor.
Seems the table was not very stable.
--- Thomas G Keller P9404 M
I no longer am physically able;
I've got dire palpitations
From you mouth-ministrations --
Get your head out from under the table!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8509 M
Why she wanted to fuck on the table,
She replied to him, "Chuck,
I can't cook worth a fuck,
So I fuck any place that I'm able."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0250M
Had a chest just as flat as a table.
Serpents, peacocks, and hearts
Covered various parts;
On her back "other side up" was the label.
--- Irish M
When wooed in the Cafe de Table,
Said, "Well," with a shrug,
If you like you can plug
My back port with your interface cable."
--- Paul Isaacs M
Has all of the features of fable.
You can bank in your shot
From her thigh to her twat,
As she spread-eagles on a pool table.
--- Jim Weaver Collection M
Who began her career in a stable.
She was young and in doubt--
The hired hands tried her out--
Now she's ready and willing and able.
--- G1821M
Who looked like the great Betty Grable.
She'd ride on a range
Of mounts very strange,
But kept her relationships stable.
--- Anon
So ready, so willing, so able,
And so full of spice,
She could name her own price.
Now Mable's all wrapped up in sable.
--- G1822M
Aunt Mabel composed her first rhyme.
"I'd like to beat
My gums on your meat",
So we wondered, could you spare the time?
--- Kim and Sam
Be gentle for she is unstable.
She was bombed in the war...
When she worked as a whore...
Which explains why she's under the table.
--- Kim and Sam M
Made famous in shantymen's fable.
At dock bars, like Davey's,
She'd entertain navies,
To find out which seamen were able.
--- Anon
She sit in the Ritz wearing sable,
Then shed inhibitions
With fine sexibhitions,
Before rolling drunk 'neath the table.
--- Anon
Had boobs going down to her navel.
Then her ass moved lower,
Her husband got slower;
When he tries to screw, he ain't able!
--- Marsha Magee M
In the kitchen on top of the table.
The table legs broke
Right there in mid stroke;
The hospital reports them "both stable!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection M
Whose curtains stay open. I'm able
To watch her caressing
Herself while undressing
(As long as I stand on this table).
--- Peter Wilkins M
Her treatment was sure to enable,
With ointment and unction
All limp dicks to function;
She'd turn a limp string to a cable.
--- Anon
Who'd always drink whiskey, Black Label.
She'd take Johnny Walker
And all who could talk her
To bed, instead on the table
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P8606M
This is file gxl
"You simply must learn every table.
You'll then be so quick
At arithmetic,
That to take every prize you'll be able.
--- Funfax Limericks M
Bought food with a low-calorie label.
She consumed with great zeal
A nutritionless meal,
And was too weak to rise from the table.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2679M
Who would fuck on a bed or a table.
Though a two-dollar screw
Was the best she could do,
Her ass bore a ten-dollar label.
--- L1030M
Who flirted with blokes who were able
To buy her a drink.
She'd give them a wink,
'Fore drinking them under the table.
--- R Warwick
Sweet Mabel replied "I'm unscrewable.
For me, it's not kinky
To drink from your winky,
And nooky you'll find nonpursuable."
--- Randog
She took some blood-sucker to bed.
I'm sorry to say,
She soon passed away --
Caught tetanus giving him head.
--- Anon
Who was always so young and so able.
What you could see,
Would raise a dead bee,
When she bent down over the table.
--- Anon M
Who said, "I don't think that I'm able.
But I'm willing to try,
So where shall I lie,
On the bed or the floor or the table?"
--- G1579M
Who at fucking was willing and able.
"It's a pity to waste,
All that juicy white paste,
So she served it in bowls at the table.
--- L0783M
That in Spring she would visit a frat
Where she'd tuck in a brother,
A pledge and his mother,
And all of them have a nice chat.
--- John Miller
I'm here all alone and bereft.
I long for her eyes,
Her signs, even lies...
But mostly I long for her cleft.
--- John Miller
I met her once down in Paris.
She charged me ten francs
For a couple of wanks,
But sat on my face all for free.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who fancied the men of the sea,
So she dressed as a sailor
And boarded a whaler,
And now gets harpooned for free.
--- Charley Mac P9601
Gave the boat crews very broad hints,
About the diversity
Of her perversity,
And which motel she frequents.
--- Phred
May look sweet, but she's really quite scary.
Since she zapped my rod
With that big cattle prod,
Of her I am really quite wary.
--- Tiddy Ogg
As I write she will maintain my swelling;
For she taps out the metre
With the end of my peter,
But her main job is cheking my speling!
--- Bob Birch P9809
You're thoughts are getting too scary.
I'm no virgin for sure;
I'm completely impure,
And of asses I'm terrible wary.
--- Karen
Mere mortals just couldn't get in.
But a shaky old SAAB
Had just the right throb,
So she used the antenna for sin.
--- John Miller
Where her wit and her style proved a winner.
Plus her beauty was vaunted;
But all that I wanted
In truth, was to simply get in her.
--- John Miller
Said Mary, adjusting the light.
"You've failed from the rear,
The front, even HERE!
Now try moving in from the right."
--- John Miller
Who was sick 'cause she had cabin feeva'.
She doesn't like meat,
Or pickled-pigs-feet,
But she sure likes the taste of the beava'!
--- Anon
When it hit, she felt awfully bilious.
She got very sick
But it went away quick.
Good, because if she died it would kill-i-us.
--- Jessie
Amidst their forests, beavers, and ducks.
But from the south came
Teresa, by name,
With a place in her heart for Canucks.
--- Anon
But Princetons find girls hard to catch.
To their hands they must go,
'Til a young gal did show
They all could have Teresa's snatch.
--- Anon
But Teresa was strong to get in.
They said, "You don't have the voice,
So here is your choice,
Skin flute, hanging sax, or organ!"
--- Anon
Playboy had told her a story a-
Bout making her a star.
"You're a beauty by far!
But in May we want to see moria!"
--- Gloria Larson
But in Tennessee she is stuck.
Won't it be grand
When she comes back to band,
And then she'll have someone to fuck.
--- Adam
Saint Theresa said, quite painfully.
"My old head is still reeling
From that bounce off the ceiling--
From now on, it's alfresco for me."
--- William N Nesbit P9609
As our mom she would always excell.
A friend without peer;
We wish she were here.
We love her and all wish her well.
--- Jessie
All over, this year if I can.
From my toes to my hair-do
I'm taking great care to.
I wish you could see me now.
--- Lance Payne P8405
Risked a rather decided rebuke,
By receiving a prude
In the absolute nude,
But he gasped, "If you only could cook!"
--- L1575
Had worn out her wearing apparel.
Though she thought it not lewd
To be there in the nude,
She went back and forth in a barrel.
--- Laurence Perrine P8312
Who went to change clothes in a bbl. (barrel)
When a couple of knaves
Made off with the staves,
She was hooping it up sans appl. (apparel)
--- Bill Edwards P9106
Who wait with thoughts lewd and unchaste,
Will be introduced
Not to beauty unloosed,
But only to beauty unlaced.
--- Laurence Perrine P8312
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