A young man we know as Dewitt, There was a young lad from San 'Frisco, There once was a man from Oahu, (mahu - queer)
French towel boys, horny and hung, There once was a man named Chuck We gay boys can make Christmas merry! There was a turd-burglar from France There once was a homo named Nick, Four fairies once met in the street, (I assume this is 2 x 69 = 138 - McW)
There was an old fellow named Boze, A fellow from Texas, called Tex, Do you like encounters luxurious? And Chris did pucker his lips, An old German fairy named Heinz Jack used to take Ken to the shore, There once was a Malibu peasant, In a gay bar outside Liverpool Said the gay guy, "You mean what you say? The results of a poll will now ring A homophobe living in Lutz, Said a chap with a humorous grin, My vibrator's battery's dying! There was an old fellow named Walt There once was a girl named Laura, Asset Forfeiture has a warped facet, A tired old tart, named of Corrigan, At an old house of ill repute, There once was a guy from Great Britain, There was an old whore from Vancouver, I once knew a harlot named Lou A dwarf on vacation in Crete "I have found," said a hooker named Hickel, Said Lil in a love shop in Ayers,
This is file gwm
A hooker who had steady beaux, A whore who had not used discretion, A repulsive old floozie of Gander There was once a blonde, a clam lapper; The woman lay dead on the floor. A man would not pay his new whore. A thoughtful old fellow named Keaton There once was a whore from The Hague, An addicted old harlot was Lizzie; Said the sophomore attending Purdue, The picketing of whores cause some tension. This husband and father, praise God, Said the whore whom they called Geraldine, There was a young lady of Rheims Whenever the weather is chilly, When a hardened old rake felt the twinge, A used up old whore named Whippler, While screwing a harlot named Bunny, A harlot who worked at Bernice's There once was a nasty old ho, There was an old harlot namaed Heather Irascible Vicar McGits A novice young fellow named Gorceau, There once was a geezer named Jay, A woman who was quaintly called fallen, An old Lebanese harlot devout, This one-eyed old harlot named Kim, Asked a raunchy old Baghdad tart A yellow-haired prostitute, Cassie, An old politician with guile There's an unhappy whore from Tobago, Down at the 'Saddle and Stirrup' Young Melanie, a sexy cute lass,
Had a job inspecting used shit.
Saying "I know a way,
To tell if shit's gay;
By the dent on the back end of it!"
--- Oddo Von Schlong T9711a
Who picked up a man in a disco.
When home in bed,
In wonder, he said,
"You want to do WHAT with that Crisco?"
--- Van
Whom everyone knew was a mahu.
He tried to pass gas
With a dick up his ass,
And blew the guy's nuts to Waipahu.
--- VOL 5
Have reason for praise to be sung.
While Gerard's strong fingers
Work your humdinger,
Phillipe goes behind with his tongue!
--- Anon
Whose cock had never been fucked.
His friends called him tiny,
And fudge-packed his heiny,
And came in his mouth when he sucked!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We'll suck your banana and berries.
We'll share our cheese log,
And creamy egg nog,
And might even give you our cherries.
--- Steve T9712
Who listed his every romance.
A jealous beau snooped,
Then bit till he pooped,
And now there's a list in his stance.
--- Anon
Who usually thought about dick;
Stuck a thumb up his ass,
While smoking some grass.
Isn't it true that he's sick?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And arranged an exceptional treat:
Soixante-neuf was impractical,
So the only thing tactical
Was something like cent-trente-huit.
--- G0911
Who fucked a young kid in the nose.
Sex needs, he admits,
As choice of two slits:
Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose!
--- G0534
Delighted in explaining sex.
Said he, "If you join
An ass and a groin,
You get an estatic reflex."
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Do men leave you heartbroke and furious?
I'll bring the chablis
For just you and me;
You need not be bi, gay, just curious.
--- KJ
And thrust his hands on his hips.
But to his dismay,
Everyone ran away,
Saying he needed some tips.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Sought lovers from Hamburg to Mainz;
Being well off materially
And wanting them serially,
He grab them zwei, drei, never eins.
--- Armand E Singer 567
And treat his cute butt like a whore.
When screwing he'd shout,
If his dick would fall out,
"Toto, I'm not in Ken's ass anymore."
--- John Chastaine T9710A
Who thought gerbil-stuffing was pleasant.
When stuffed up his rectum,
They were bound to infect him,
And his buttocks became incandescent.
--- Ken Kaufman
A waiter with great ridicule,
Asked a guest that he greeted
And just being seated,
To allow him to push in his stool.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9211
If I lose weight you might let me stay?
That bears out, and I'm glad,
What I heard as a lad,
'If you're thin, you could just blow away.'"
--- Theo Heller P9504
Loud alarm bells for all the left wing:
Of the guys who are gay,
Ninety-eight percent say
They would love to be under a king.
--- David A Brooks Q
Thought all fags were certified nuts.
In the queer catechism,
They drink all their gism,
Or pound up their butts with their putz.
--- Anon
"I don't care if it's reckoned a sin.
When I see men together
Who are birds of a feather,
I do feel an urge to butt in."
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9305
If I said "So what?"...I'd be lying.
Although I am gay
And can't use it that way,
You can't blame a poor boy for trying.
--- Poet Lariat T9707
Who used to take Eno's Fruit Salt.
With a fellow named James,
He played Oscar Wilde games,
And often would win by default.
--- G1077
Who was a big fucking whore-a.
She loved chicks and guys,
And hard dicks 'twixt her thighs,
But for me, she went down on all four-a.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Which can, down at the precinct, quite crass get.
When the fuzz pinched a whore,
They gang-banged her and swore,
"We are legally seizing your ASSet."
--- Don Moore P0800
Told the madam: "I'd sure like to whore again.
If you'll give me a bed,
I'll whore 'till I'm dead,
But not on the bare, wet, cold floor again!"
--- G1763
John put on his old birthday suit.
But it was not admired
By the lady he hired;
It was shriveled like some old dried fruit.
--- Donald McGill
Whose pecker had got fucking bitten,
Because the one day
He refused to pay,
And the hooker bit what she was lickin'.
--- Ryan
Whose vagina could pass for a Hoover.
The old sixty-niner
Could give you a shiner
With cling-ons hanging from her pooper!
--- Canadian Joe
And a versatile girl she was too.
After ten years of whoredom
She perished of boredom
When she married a jackass like you!
--- Hugh De Witt
Said, "I am terribly anxious to meet
A young lady of leisure,
Who'd allow me to pleasure
The hairs on her twat with my feet."
--- Anon
"That Chinese johns are kinky and fickle.
They screw me...then beat me...
And hungily eat me.
And the worst is those chopsticks sure tickle.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
"I gotta lay off for repairs.
Hell no, it ain't sex
That makes us babes wrecks...
It's climbing that long flight of stairs!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 930
Told of a transient she knows.
She said as she frowned,
"He won't hang around.
That bastard just comes and goes."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0208
To the doctor explained her depression.
Her complaints, she did mention,
Were arising from tension,
But to him, it looked more like compression.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2020
Had boasted that no man could brand her.
She was ravaged by Blanding,
An old cowboy at branding;
She convulsed, but he managed to stand her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2879
Professional by night, a real slapper.
She'd developed cunt blisters,
From tonguing "the sisters".
Now she takes cock up the crapper.
--- Anon
Who cares? She was merely a whore.
That's tough, I'm afraid;
To ply the rough trade
Brings risks, which she chose to ignore.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She's mad, and decided, what's more,
That defenestration
Is as good as castration,
Especially from the tenth floor!
--- Anon
Observed that his whore was moth-eaten.
But this man was sagacious
And he found it more gracious
To depart from the path that was beaten.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0929
(The record is really quite vague).
In 1283
She contracted VD;
The next year she died of the plague.
--- George Maschke
Day and night at her work she was busy.
So much time on her back
Was spent vending her crack,
That whenever she stood she felt dizzy.
--- Albin Chaplin
To the hooker he started to screw,
"This is a quirk:
Since I do all the work,
Why the Hell do I have to pay you?"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0303
I am sure it was not their intention
To spoil all the fun,
Or harm anyone
At the the 'Do It Yourself' Men's Convention.
--- Al Willis
Will continue this nice promenade.
But if later, perhaps,
He returns to relapse
With this harlot, who'll blame the old sod?
--- Gents Alphabet Book P9504
"When I think of the pricks that I've seen,
And all of the nuts
And the assholes and butts,
And the bastards like you in between."
--- L1017
Who tried twenty freshmen in teams.
She held up in the wash
For just nine teams of frosh,
But she then fell apart at the seams.
--- Albin Chaplin
It's fun to do things that are silly;
Like lay by the fire
With whores that I hire,
And watch them fight over my willy.
--- Anon
He'd go barreling off on a binge.
His bawdy-house feats,
Involving girls' seats,
Made the hardiest filles-de-joie cringe.
--- Isaac Asimov
A notorious cheap liquor tippler,
While astride an old stump
Taking a dump,
Gave birth to the poet Mind Crippler!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A lad told bad jokes he thought funny.
But the whore had some pride
For she threw him outside,
And she cursed him and gave back his money.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1461
Collected her things in valises.
Said old madam Bernice,
"Won't you stay for a piece?"
She said, "No, I am going to pieces."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1443
Who opened up a bakery sto,
You might not find it funny,
But she saved lots of money,
'Cause she had her own yeast for the dough.
--- Anon
Whose pussy was tougher than leather.
She would peddle her meat
On the neighborhood street,
And was handy in all kinds of weather.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1547
Was known for the terrible fits,
He threw in his study
Over carpet left muddy,
By whores who had sold him their clits.
--- Anon
Got up from his whore and he swore so,
For his screw he did botch,
When he blew on her crotch,
As he fondled the prostitute's torso.
--- Al Chaplin P0304
Who was sick of not getting a lay.
He went to a whore,
Pushed her down on the floor,
Then he found out he had to pay!
--- Rollergirl
On a Russian big-shot went a-callin'.
She took all his root,
But the brute wouldn't shoot--
Was she mad when she found he was stallin'! (Stalin?)
--- G1782
In her Tel Aviv house had some doubt.
She would turn away daily
All clients Israeli,
For the bastards would never pull out.
--- Albin Chaplin
The philosopher screwed with such vim,
That he said, "I'll be back
When I get some more jack."
So she kept an eye out just for him.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0714
While allowing her black sheet to part,
"Would you like to pretend
It's a camel's rear end?
In Iraq, it's the state of the art."
--- Martin Wellborn P9106
Was known far and wide for her chassis,
But when she got rich,
Some called her a bitch --
A term better suited to Lassie.
--- Norm Storer P9911
Disarmed whores with his cocksucking smile.
Though he lowered their fee
With his artful esprit,
Yet they would not agree to his style.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who is cursed with real painful lumbago;
Even flat on her back,
Just to open her crack,
Makes her scream like a cornered virago.
--- Armand E Singer 874
There's a bawd with a voice like sweet syrup.
She's ugly and crude
But still she gets screwed --
She's the one girl who's made Wyatt earp.
--- Arthur Deex P8412
Has a truly magnificent ass.
It is just as you think,
One part brown, two parts pink;
Which when used like a pussy, earns brass.
--- Confused