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A cold-natured fellow named Chad There was a young lady named Oola, The lady could not sing a song. There was a young lady named Erin, There was a young lady of Spain, An Eskimo miss from Alaska, A proper Bostonian Vance, While testing her latest invention, The naked girls' choir down in Nachez A bashful young man named Ignatius Said a nasty old man of Freehold: "See-through fashions are fun," said old Clark. "Damn! Why are you naked?" he cursed. There was a young tourist in Eskine, A girl from sunny St. Thomas To a fancy-dress ball at Nathalia, A snobbish young damsel from Crete A young Moslem beauty named Tafik, A sailor, at Sidi ben Said, A Kentucky girl in Gravel Switch One would have to be rather a prude There once was a girl from Bermuda, I have this cute name for my Gwen. There was a young woman of Luton, A lass of curvaceous physique, There once was a nun who prayed nude, There was an old geezer named Blair, There was a young woman from Exeter, The cradle has truly been rocked; A young lady living in Brighton While shopping for jewelry at Tiffany's, There was a young lady from Ipswich, A socialite considered it rude The lovely and sexy Miss Givery It's summer again and I'm hot, Enjoying the urge that behove 'em, We solicit your frank attitude There were two young ladies of Nice Said a diffident lady named Drood, Geofrey Le Bec La Claire There was a young lady of Soake A careless young lovely named Dunning There was an actress named Rose, Said a bashful old maid named Zenobia, A down-under lassie named Judah. In Whitehorse the story is told A girl who was from Brooklyn Heights, A group tripper by name Mrs. White At a masquerade near Athabaska Open-eyed to observers naked-thewed Some bangers and mash with some peas, There once was an old Casanova, She screamed as he opened the door, At a party she thought was quite fun, it Lady Katherine Kimberly-Kitt There was a young woman named Dawes, To his model said artist Ken Ketch, New Mexico, college of prudes, There was a young girl from Watsessing I saw a Las Vegas revue; Young Lucy, a lady of Honiton, The boys thought sweet Primrose a prude One day my friend Sandra was chose, There was a young artist named Merritt A comely young model named Rose A remarkable girl from Montrose,
Would sleep with a big heating pad.
Lightning blew the transformer
So for substitute warmer,
He switched to a woman unclad.
--- Armand E Singer 225
Who waggled her hips in the Hula.
As she dropped her grass skirt,
She cried, "I'm no flirt,
I've stripped to the buff to be coola.
--- Anon
In dancing, each foot fell all wrong.
But the crowds were all cheers
As they ordered more beers,
For you see, she had nothing on.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who asked, "Why are all the men starin'?"
Her mother said, "Honey,
It's 'cause you look funny;
The distinct lack of clothes that you're wearin'!"
--- Anon
Who took down her pants on a train.
A very young porter,
Saw more than he orter,
And asked her to do it again.
--- L0100
Was a hit at the U of Nebraska.
She would gladly expose
Everything but her nose,
To anyone there who would aska.
--- Pierce Evans
Took his wife, Mrs. Vance, to a dance.
But when they got there
How the ballroom did glare,
For the pair had forgotten their pants!
--- Webster Bull P0607
A girl from another dimension
Frolicked nude on Times Square,
Fifty feet in the air,
But didn't attract much attention.
--- Nancy Ashbaugh P0105
Sings out, proudly showing their thatches.
And old deaf Billy Rose,
Sneaks up very close,
To manage to catch a few snatches.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Was in love with a maiden curvaceous,
And whenever he saw
This maid in the raw,
He stood there exclaiming, "Good gracious!"
--- Alsops Foibles
"The young of today, I am told,
Are so used to the nude
That it doesn't seem lewd --
O Gee! But it's great to be old!"
--- Stain P8309
"They fill me with vigor and spark.
It makes life with wife Claribel
A little more bearable,
For I always get fucked in the dark."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0087
"For my birthday - it's my sixty first -
I thought I'd look cute
In a real birthday suit."
"Well next time, please iron it first!"
--- John Miller 0135 A
Whose looks, admiration did win.
When I said to her: "Grace,
You'd look nice in lace,"
Said, "In fact, I look best in my skin."
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Mislaid by mistake her pajamas.
Results that showed
The sort of a mode
That weans young men from their mommas.
--- The Glimmerick Book P9003
Went a girl in the guise of a dahlia.
Her petals fell off,
Causing women to scoff;
But the men didn't think her a failure.
--- Robust Ribald Rude P9703
Always dreamed she undressed in the street.
The best part of the joke
Was that when she awoke,
She found there was mud on her feet.
--- Lee H Murren P8312
In films that were quite pornographic,
Acted nude in the street
Save for shoes on her feet --
Which tied up the rush-hour traffic.
--- Armand E Singer 306
Said "Now I shall sleep, for I'm tired."
That's not what he said,
When he saw on his bed,
A nubile and naked you naiad.
--- Cyril Bibby P9710
While in bed wears nary a stitch.
She said: "I suppose
That too many clothes
At night might make my skin itch."
--- William K Alsop Jr
To object to repose in the nude.
For if you're by your own,
You're by no-one-else known.
If you're not, well you're there to get rude!
--- Mike Dale a
Who undressed till she couldn't be nuder.
When one young man inquired,
Why she wasn't attired,
She said, "Can't you be a bit cruder?"
--- John Ciardi
I use the word "chicken", and then
She offers her lips
And then she unzips,
But once I forgot and said, "Hen."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose favorite bed was a futon.
She wanted nothing more,
Than to sleep on the floor,
With only her birthday suit on.
--- P Copeman
Liked dresses that made her look chic.
But all could agree
That topless to knee,
Did little to help her mystique.
--- Douglas Catley
But it all was a rumor quite crude.
She had said (and folks blab it)
"I pray out of habit,"
But she always at least wore her snood.
--- Don Moore P0507
Who used to get girls to strip bare
By slipping red ants
In their bras and their pants.
It works, but it lacks 'savoir-faire'.
--- John Ciardi
And all the young men threw their sex at her.
Just to be rude,
She lay in the nude,
While her parrot, a pervert, took pecks at her.
--- Anon
And the babies behavior has shocked.
There is so much to see;
Oh my god it can't be!
That's me daughter, you sod, get her frocked!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Created a marvellous sight on
The night she forgot
Her curtains to shut,
While preparing for bed with her light on.
--- Dick Hedger
She had one of her frequent epiphanies.
She just took off her dress
With skill and finesse,
And recited "The Frogs", Aristophanes.
--- Boy Pilot
Who grew famous for making her hips twitch,
While shedding her clothes,
Which as one might suppose,
Were held on by no more that a slip stitch.
--- John Ciardi
To promenade in the nude.
"It is so common, my dear,"
She said with a sneer,
"And extraordinarily crude."
--- Clif Gauss P8401
This is file gwl
Once called for a pizza delivery;
She answered the door
With her robe to the floor,
And she made the delivery boy quivery.
--- Cap'n Bean P9807
So sleeping in jammies I'm not.
I sleep in the nude,
But let's not be crude --
I sleep in the best skin I've got.
--- Marlene Lewis
Unceasingly goaded and drove 'em,
The lewd quickly queued
And viewed a fair nude --
Like sperm in pursuit of an ovum.
--- Philo Logue P8312A
On "How should a female be viewed?"
To expedite reference,
Please check your preference:
Stark naked [ ] or Totally Nude [ ].
--- Laurence Perrine P8312
Wo drank seven cocktails apiece,
Then tried to undress
In the Paris express,
But were stopped by the local police.
--- Rudyard Kipling P8903
The first time she saw a man nude,
"I'm glad I'm the sex
That's concave, not convex,
For I don't fancy things that protrude.
--- Grand Prix Lim 143 G0314A
Spied a demoiselle exceedingly fair.
"Until death I will try,"
He said with a sigh,
"To strip her completely bare."
--- Clif Gauss P8401
Whom the locals considered a kook.
She loudly protested
At being arrested,
For sunning herself in a toque.
--- John E Mayhood P0900
Always strips herself bare when she's sunning.
Boys passing her way
All try for a lay...
But so far she' made 'em come, running...
--- Grand Prix Lim 694
Who struck a theatrical pose.
Then, when she opened her eyes,
She found to her surprise,
That she was completely sans clothes.
--- William K Alsop Jr
"When you're dead the embalmers disrobe ya,
Which is truly 'de trop'.
So I simply won't go;
Plus I suffer from thanatophobia."
--- Armand E Singer 251
Had fully undressed in her boudoir.
The curtains did fall,
And so did the wall.
With nowhere to hide, she felt nuda.
--- TuttaGioia
Of a prude running nude through the cold.
Saying life in the Yukon
Was something to pukon,
And wishing to be a gatefold.
--- Hugh Oliver 112c
Looked quite mediocre in tights.
There was much more approval
When, upon their removal,
She revealed more spectacular sights.
--- Isaac Asimov
Gave the party a thrill and a fright;
"Don't think I am rude
If I turn out quite nude,
That's my way of travelling light."
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8312
I hadn't the nerve to unmaska.
But now, I suppose,
I've removed all her clothes --
Now it might be all right, so alaska.
--- Hugh Oliver 92d
A goddess is rash if not rued.
But stare if you dare
At beauty laid bare,
If you've viewed pulchritude in the nude.
--- Laurence Perrine P8312
With tea and three sugars to please,
All served at my table
By waitressing Mabel,
Wearing boots and then bare from the knees.
--- Anon
Far south in the county of Dover.
On seeing a nude
He came all unglued,
Insisted on pawing her over.
--- Philo Logue P8312
Just as her pink robe hit the floor.
"You cannot come in!
My slip is too thin.
I can't let you see any more!"
--- Marty TP9807
Happened she drank too much rum; it
Caused her to snore,
When she woke on the floor
Quite undressed - And she knew not whodunnit.
--- Anon
On the stage had been quite a hit.
When her fans yelled, "Encore",
She would take off some more,
And until she was nude, wouldn't quit.
--- Warrick Elrod
Whose costume was all made of gauze.
When they turned on the light,
Behind her one night,
The fellows broke into applause.
--- Isaac Asimov
"For nature and nudes, I'm a lech.
As one who's no saint, you
Know how I must paint you --
So spread your bare thighs on the vetch."
--- Armand E Singer 331
Has forever banned artists' nudes.
No more buttocks and tits,
To delight the nitwits:
The female form turns off the rubes.
--- G2462
Who stood on a corner undressing.
She said, "I don't mind
If they see my behind,
But I do charge a fee for caressing."
--- Edward Leer
Now nothing they showed me was new:
Bare tits and bare asses
Of half-naked lasses,
But why can't I sample some too?
--- Armand E Singer 838
Oft walked down the street with no bonnet on.
No dress, panties, nor bra,
And poets near and far
Of Lucy wrote many a sonnet on.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Till they learned she posed totally nude.
Then they tried to draw lots
For the right to take shots,
But their ardor was all misconstrued.
--- Don Mulford
To star in some nude revue shows.
She found it a pain
And was heard to complain:
"They give no allowance for clothes."
--- Anon
Who painted a nude in his garret.
He said, "I must stop working,
For you now have me perking,
And I fear I can no longer bear it."
--- Albin Chaplin
Had a wart on the end of her nose;
But it didn't deter
Any pictures of her,
It was not Rose's nose they'd expose.
--- Don Mulford
Was photographed out of her clothes.
She stood on her head
At the foot of a bed,
An incredibly difficult pose!
--- Photogs Book Smiles P0507
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