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I once knew a girl named Tjarda Tjarda said to the cop, "I won't quit! It really is too hot to sleep; All non-creeps continue to leer; That's not as clear as could be. When leaves turn to gold on the maples, But reading those mags can be tricky; Our Katy's brains all were a-scatter; Godiva-like, minus the horse, Once ladies New Caledonian "See here, we can't have a loose breast, The covering care, though discounted, When we saw that we might be replaced, When debating with management whether... It is really to hot to wear clothes, I wear pink pj's when it's hot; I admit I sleep in the nude, I have a young neighbor so rude; Now I do not mean to defame, My friends say that I shouldn't fret; They say, there's a ten foot wall We're all very sorry, Puff Adder, Now I am in the back yard, I've sunblocked my arms, legs and tum; I don't think I need lotion there! My neighbor's young daughter next door, But dammit, she's only fifteen; No sister, alas, have I got, Remember her sunbathing nude I would if I could but I can't. If limericks made any sense With Jayne you'd just love to screw, A promiscuous Blonde, oh so dumb, A hot-blooded woman named Eve Nymphomania's commonly known I'm creeping away with great stealth; You should stop your member from smoking. I know a hot chick from Albania There once were some twins from Reading, There was a fat broad named Charlotte, A passionate lady named Popper, There was a young widow named Sturges From out of the closet came Flo. Nell's nympho-maniacal ways Said the young would-be nympho, "I still My girl hasn't eyes that are dewery, Hand me that bottle of booze. A lady with hot pants in Oregon That nympho, the Duchess of Brent, I know for a fact, Trixie Freeman There once were a couple of rockers A nymphomaniacal WAC A Florida nympho named Prudence, A sizzling nympho named Whitely, Did she give all her boyfriends a screw? On a cruise ship in port at Stamboul, The fastidious lady, Mercedes, The males is the ones I love best Said this woman, a nympho named Hearst, Young Tracy was stopped at the border, Ensign Smith, she of pure innocence, There was a WAC nympho named Graff. Said both Gus and Ted, "We abstain There was a young woman named Karen There once was an old gal from Butte That vain nymphomaniac Dinah
Who liked to run nude in the tarda.
But along came a cop,
And said she'd have to stop,
'Cause every dick on the street was all harda.
--- Mike Hunter
Look around, can't you see I'm a hit?
I'll keep on with my preening
Till the boys are careening
And zippers on pants are all split.
--- Mike Hunter
So mis'rable I could just weep.
Took off all my clothes;
Am nude in repose;
Wipe that leer off your face, you old creep!
--- Marlene Lewis
So get your firm butts over here.
With no sleep in view,
Have a tumble or two,
And relax afterwards with a beer.
--- Marlene Lewis
I meant have a tumble with me.
Tumbling with others,
You'd be gay lovers,
And of no use to me, you see.
--- Marlene Lewis
I think of young Sophie from Naples;
Her poses were bold
In spreads centerfold;
She turned me on wearing just staples!
--- Anon
The spreads can be awfully licky.
Your glands they enrage;
You can't turn the page
And not leave it terribly sticky.
--- Anon
Around the streets, naked, she'd patter.
The fellows all stare,
She just doesn't care...
Of course, she's as mad as a hatter.
--- Anon
She never was taken by force.
She grabs any man,
As oft as she can...
She's had as a matter of course.
--- Anon
Liked dancing and riding a pony on
The white beach in the nude;
Missionaries screamed "lewd".
Muumuu's were their penance DRACONIAN.
--- J'Carlin
Like Lady Godiva's, at best.
So get off the horse
And dress in cloth coarse.
In our Christian ways, you'll be blessed!"
--- J'Carlin
Free-flowing sex thoughts unfounded,
With Muumuus just so
And no horse below,
The ladies were frequently mounted.
--- Chris Papa
We had no time to waste being chaste.
We all shed our blouses
By our bosses' warehouses
And picketed stripped to the waist.
--- Laurence Perrine P8610
We abandoned our clothes altogether.
To get our views viewed
We marched in the nude --
Excepting in inclement weather!
--- Laurence Perrine P8610
But for modesty's sake, I suppose
We have to wear something.
Can only wear nothing
If in life drawing class we do pose.
--- Marlene
I wear wooly ones when it's not.
Sometimes in springtime,
Sometimes if falltime,
I wear nothing without getting caught.
--- Marlene
Though to someone it might seem quite crude.
And I require
In case of a fire,
That people not look, 'cause it's rude!
--- Marlene
Her conduct is perfectly lewd.
It seems that she
Thinks it to be
All right to sunbathe in the nude.
--- Puff Adder
But life is not just a game.
I'm so perplexed
On what to do next;
The woman just has no shame.
--- Puff Adder
They don't understand my upset.
I won't hear that song;
I think they are wrong.
Community standards must be met.
--- Puff Adder
Separating our yards after all.
I feel she's to blame
For injuries I sustain;
Ten feet is a long way to fall.
--- Puff Adder
What you could not find a tall ladder.
When you gawk over a wall,
Then you're bound to fall.
If you're injured, we couldn't be sadder.
--- Marilyn
Getting a tan for my bard,
On all of those spots
Usually covered with lots
Of clothes, to prevent all regard.
--- Ericka
I'm tanning my lily-white bum.
Will you go through the motions
With my suntanning lotion?
You're blocking the sun, sugar-plum.
--- Ericka
Look out, you will break my lawn chair!
We're rolling and gasping --
I'm giggling, you're grasping --
Do I want you to stop? Don't you dare!
--- Ericka
Flaunts her body. I try to ignore
Her when naked she lies
On her lawn; but her thighs
And her nipples I long to explore.
--- Anon
It's outrageous, you know what I mean;
But she fingers her twat
And it's making me hot,
As I hide in these bushes unseen.
--- Anon
But there's Katie; you'd like her a lot.
She's my neighbour's young daughter,
Who loves to disport 'er
Young body whenever it's hot.
--- Anon
In positions both sinful and lewd?
Well she's jail-bait no longer;
You're welcome to prong 'er;
She needs to be thoroughly screwed.
--- Anon
(I'll rephrase that; I could but I shan't.)
So she's yours for the taking
And hoeing and raking;
I'm currently screwing her aunt.
--- Anon
Then roots would not grow through the fence,
And there would be ponds
Of smart nympho blondes,
Who'd boff in the 'plu-perfect' tense.
--- Anon
But I say "Hey! Join the queue!
Just wait your turn;
When will you learn
There are others ahead of you."
--- Funny Bone
(Though on dates, incredibly fun),
On every weekend,
She picks up eight men,
She blows two and screws all but one.
--- Anon
This is file gsl
Knew lust like you wouldn't believe;
Thoughts nymphomaniacal,
Yea, paradisiacal,
Damned near made the poor wench conceive.
--- Armand E Singer 302
As the word for a woman who's prone
To have sex, on and on,
Like a female Don Juan;
She's a true andromaniac clone.
--- Sheila B
I'm flagging now after the twelfth
Mad sexual poking;
My member is smoking,
And nymphos are bad for your health.
--- Anon
This after-sex puffing and toking
Gives you a disease.
Then one day you sneeze --
Your member falls off. I'm not joking!
--- Anon
Who's got this disease: nymphomania;
She uses bananas,
If handy, Havanas,
Coke bottles - a whole miscellania.
--- Armand Singer
Who shared a strange fetish for bedding.
The stories we've heard
Are just so absurd,
That I dread to think where they are heading.
--- Sarah Lowe
(If truth must be told, just a harlot);
Her much-vaunted nudity
She flaunted with crudity,
And slept with young men by the car lot.
--- Armand E Singer 93
In heat goes completely improper.
She gets hotter and hotter
Till brawny men totter;
The job's not to start but to stop her.
--- G0619a
Who's given to sociable splurges.
Her warm hospitality
Is mainly carnality
(Read "nymphomaniacal urges").
--- Armand E Singer 205
"I'm a nympho, I want you to know.
No matter what caused it,
From out of the closet
And onto a mattress I go."
--- Irving Superior P9603
Ensures she will have many lays;
Dicks slip in and out
And wallow about;
Nell's mad 'cause none of them stays!
--- Travis Brasell
May attain the quite ultimate thrill.
I've come on to Barry,
And Tom, Dick, and Harry,
But anticipate coming at will."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9603
And yes, her teeth are a bit fewery.
But she's willing to screw
And suck and to chew --
And Daddy, he owns a big brewery!
--- Archie Q
Got the post-holiday blues.
And like it or not,
This glum feeling I've got
Will take at least three months to lose.
--- Florida Man
Was screwed by a fellow named Corrigan.
She had four on the floor,
But she wanted some more,
So he fucked her four more on the floor again.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0285
Caused scandal wherever she went;
Far and wide the town's gentry
Praised her angle of entry,
Though badly from pleasuring bent.
--- Armand E Singer 682
Consorted with fifty-three seamen.
She traversed the world,
And her mound was spitcurled,
And in bottles she kept all their semen.
--- Al Willis P9702
Who went out with a bird with big knockers.
She's fond of balling.
A groupie, by calling,
She used to be one of Joe Cocker's.
--- Anon
Had a certain amorous knack:
Her erotic resources
So pleased the Armed Forces,
That she fought the whole war on her back.
--- G2545
Spent the night in a frat house with students.
By the dawn's early light,
She slipped out of sight,
And she left not a single protuberance!
--- Larry Wilde
Demanded a workover nightly.
You'd fuck her for hours
With all of your powers,
Then creep home all limp and unsightly.
--- G0815
Does she count those whom she merely blew?
While performing her sins,
Did she tally foreskins,
To distinguish the Gentile from Jew?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The nympho enjoying Joe's tool
Said, "There can't be a sight
That can match my delight...
It's the best that I've had since high school!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 541
Is certain to end up in Hades
She loves going down,
And she's screwed half the town;
The other half being the ladies.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0407
You needn't put me to the test
I'm hot for you guys
On my back I tries
To never give them any rest.
To her lover, not properly versed:
"Try to be more assertive
And don't act so damned furtive,
Or my husband will suspect the worst."
--- Armand E Singer 534
Which was bad for her panic disorder.
When they had her strip down,
She lost her tense frown,
And screwed all the guards in close order.
--- Tutta Gioia
Was assigned to the frigate Hortense;
There were three hundred men--
Soon she knew most of them--
Knew them well, in the Biblical sense.
--- William N Nesbit P9603
She never did things by half.
She seduced the padre,
Laid up with the cadre,
And finished off the general staff.
--- Ed Wolfert P8406
From women considered mundane!"
"Except for Miss Gedd,"
Tom disgustedly said,
"Who's been boarded more times than a train!"
--- Anon
Whose mood was entirely unsparin'.
Though her lover, young Percy,
Kept pleading for mercy,
She'd insist on continuous pairin'.
--- Isaac Asimov
Who screwed any man with a root.
She said when they groaned
And mumbled and moaned,
"I just wish that they were born mute!"
--- Anon
Brags, "Men crave my bod -- nothing finer.
Their lust for my bust
Is perfectly just,
And everyone loves my vagina."
--- Armand E Singer 792
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