MORE
There once was a girl from Decatur, There was a male tourist from Norway, When Hubert (the younger) Douglas Said a well-worn old hooker named Black, So you say there is a lady, tut tut!, After class, a hooker while dressin', A hard-core old whore from Peru, Maltilda, the sportinghouse queen, On a cruise-ship that caters to gentry, There was a streetwalker named Jones Said a streetwalker bold to Big Dan: Now as you may know, I keep tabs Well I'd recommend Tania Tucker, The confetti should not be unfurled After lots of wild fun and much boozing, To old codgers who live on their pensions, There was a whore down at the docks "My trade," said a hooker named Cole, To his girl, said a Cornish marine, A lady named Rose had a daughter There was a young fellow named Dania, There was a young madam McNitt, Of my clients, I like best the go-getter, My new secretary, Miss Pymme, A hooker who worked many towns, She took the DOUCEUR from the chap, "Is it too much to ask," said Lord Rayne, Said the student at UCLA A flag-waving harlot with nerve, A whore who survived Occupation A worn-out old harlot was Roocher; A lad caused a harlot distraction; A harlot was charged by old Barger; There once was a girl named Lenore, In a ward lay a harlot half dead, There was an old whore of North Junction She was having a fanciful bout The girls of old madam LeClaire The harlots of madam McNair Said the doctor, while checking Miss Sommer, An overworked harlot named Baird, There was a young whore named Delores, Young Boris, her pimp, was a stud Said the priest, on our knees we must pray A drowning old harlot named Clive A harlot from Saskatchewan "Goddammit!" cried a harlot named Strong, A Hebrew explorer named Frost There was once a disgusting old trollop; A hooker's hose-clencher is loose The broken-down harlot named Tweek I once knew a chancrous old slut Disillusioned and baffled was Phil An eager young beaver named Brickley While screwing a harlot, old Gimp I'm afraid you're too late pal, "I'm afraid you're too late pal," "They call her syphillis Suzie, You get what you pay for, I say. A pustule in one old whore's crack A hardy old harlot named Blanding An old business man had compassion When a gentleman wants to be laid, Old Nader was cut to the quick; An overworked hooker once said, There was an old harlot name Measick, There was an old harlot named Blick
Who'd screw anybody who paid her.
One guy, short of bread,
Offered SPAM loaf instead.
She promptly replied, "See you later!"
--- Bob Roberds P9608
Who had sex with a whore in a doorway.
Once back in the crowd,
He wondered aloud,
"What ever happened to foreplay?"
--- Anon
Was making his move on a lass,
He stopped in his tracks,
When she told him the facts:
"I'll not go to bed without brass!"
--- Cubby
"It is not just a matter of jack;
I'm a lady of leisure
Who gets lots of pleasure
Entertaining men friends on my back."
--- Armand E Singer 309
And you think that she is not a slut?
I beg to differ,
She'll 'win one for the giffer'.
Ah, what a young lady oh, what?
--- Anon
Said, "Improving tricks I find distressin'.
To maintain my credential
As professional wench I'll
Need only one more fucking lesson."
--- Thomas G Keller P9409
Who wouldn't give credit, 'tis true,
Said, "Pay as you enter,
You're only a renter
Of space for an hour or two."
--- Armand E Singer 364
Does most of her work in Moline;
A form of employment
Which gives no enjoyment
To Archbishop Fulton J Sheen.
--- G1857
The hookers find it elementary
That every young date
Will navigate straight,
To the site of her main port of entry.
--- Norm Storer P0510Q
Who felt a deep chill in her bones.
She performed for humanity,
Interspersed with profanity,
And the whole night was pierced with her groans.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1811
"I'll take you on anywhere, man!
If you're in a big rush,
There's the park underbrush,
Or how 'bout a quick blow in the can?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 539 G1766
On gals, and I recommend Babs.
Who haunts the White Hart,
But mind, she's a tart.
You'd better watch out for the crabs.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But here too, I'll warn you, don't fuck her.
Instead, spend some money
On this soft wet-lipped honey;
She's known as the best peckersucker.
--- Dirruk
And 'Bon Voyage's should not be hurled.
When a hooker's out cruising
And flirting and boozing,
She always has gone 'round the world'.
--- Martin Wellborn
He got in his car and went cruising.
Then a woman named Charlotte,
The town's only harlot,
Screwed his brains out and now he is snoozing.
--- Bob Birch
To barkeeps and drunks at conventions,
To studs on the street,
Mable sold her arse meat
In a way one reluctantly mentions.
--- G1850
Who kept all her cash in her socks.
When the navy sailed in,
She could not help but grin
At the thought of those sock filling cocks.
--- Paul South African
"Lets me play a respectable role
In our culture today.
I pay my own way
And manage to stay off the dole."
--- A N Wilkins P8609
"You've the knobbiest coastline I've seen.
'Twould be a wonderful sport
To put into port,
If the rest of the fleet hadn't been."
--- John Ciardi G0402
Who did things no lady had ought'er.
The good folks confessed
She was none of the best,
But I noticed they, all of them, bought her.
--- Stanton Vaughn G1767
Who had a young girl from Rumania.
He said, "Let's see you work us
A whole three ring circus.
That's exactly the reason I'm payin' ya."
--- Albin Chaplin
Who gave all the men a good fit.
With no trouble at all,
She took large men or small,
And young lads who had father's permit.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who is rich and disdains a French letter.
Some men think a lot of me,
Who profess to like bottomy,
But for me, frontal twatomy's better."
--- G1798
Seems frightfully proper and prim,
And only I know
How she lets herself go,
If you stuff twenty quid up her quim.
--- Michael Horgan
Was kidded one day by some clowns.
They wanted to know
How her business did go;
She said it had its ups and downs.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1680
A lagniappe for tapping his sap.
Then she smoothed out the sheet,
And returned to her beat,
A real loving Venus "Fly Trap".
--- Chris Papa
To a baggage with whom he had lain,
"That you wait below stairs
And tend your affairs,
In case I require you again?"
--- John Ciardi
To the hooker he wanted to lay:
"I feel like a jerk;
I do all the work,
So why is it I have to pay?"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0305
Her country in two wars did serve.
In the trenches up front,
With her cunt, took the brunt,
And she wiggled her asshole with verve.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1617
Was freed by U.S. Liberation.
But she wore out her ass
With the army top brass
So she sued for and got reparation.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8405
Her cunt was in need of a suture.
But she knew fucking well,
That her asshole would sell,
So she had no concern for the future.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1453
His passion put her out of action.
She requestted he pay
Five more dollars that day
For she felt there had been an infraction.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1491
She claimed that his charge did enlarge her.
Barger griped at the charge
Charge by old harlot Marge,
For she claimed that his charge was much larger.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1436
This is file gpm
Whose occupation was that of a whore.
Till Hung Hugo stretched her,
From here to Manchester,
Now Lenore ain't a whore any more.
--- Anon
Confined by a blow to the head.
In a week she felt well
To get up, but said, "Hell,
I make more when I lie here in bed."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1485
Who fucked without any compunction,
And her fucking went fine
Till a quarter of nine
When she had a most serious malfunction.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1042
While she screwed with a preacher devout.
But his horny old knob
Was as rough as a cob,
And he twisted her twat inside out.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1043
Were sadly in need of repair.
A great many had snatches
That were covered in patches,
And some were devoid of all hair.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1581
Disturbed an old man debonair.
He remarked, with great poise,
He could stand all the noise,
But some twats were in need of repair.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1604
"Your urine may tell why you're glummer."
So she stooped to the floor
And she pissed like a whore.
"What you need," said the doc, "is a plumber."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2311
Remarked to the next man who stared,
"You are shit out of luck
For right after this fuck,
I must go get my pussy repaired."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1434
Who boasted of a numb clitoris.
She cared not a bit
If you sucked on her tit,
And gave money to her pimp, Boris.
--- Dave Jersey
And buried his pole in her mud.
Delores would scream
When he shot off his cream
And filled up her butt with his flood.
--- Dave Jersey
For the cunts of old whores that decay.
At one time it was free,
Then they charged a large fee,
And they now cannot give it away.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1637
Was pulled from the lake half alive.
On reviving she spoke,
She could not swim a stroke,
But she swore that she knew every dive.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1472
Was struck by a truck which sped on.
Though her asshole was tore,
She continued to whore,
For she said that the show must go on.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1653
"I regret now I ever went wrong.
It ain't the staight tail,
It's the slashing toenail
That knocks a girl out before long!"
--- G1871
Was screwing a harlot at cost.
But he found her so roomy
That he soon became gloomy
And he cried, "I am hopelessly lost!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0455
From her nose hung a pendulous polyp;
She had warts on her tits
And a crotch full of zits,
Round her waist, and incarnadine collop. (roll of fat)
--- Ed Potts P8801a
From sausages stewed in her juice.
In such a great number,
A mile of hard lumber
Has entered and widened her sluice.
--- Randog
Was thirty years over her peak.
She was fast nearing death
But she had a faint breath,
So was kept on the job one more week.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1683
Whose left labe was large as a nut.
The flies in the loo
Would spurn a fresh poo
To siphon the boils on her butt.
--- H Welchel
When he found that his harlot was ill.
He had paid her the cost
But all was not lost,
For she farted and poked with great skill.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1629
Engaged an old whore that was sickly.
But she started to puke,
So he said, "What a fluke!"
And he finished by jerking off quickly.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1838
Discovered the bitch falling limp.
She got sick halfway through
And began to turn blue,
So he finished the piece with the pimp.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0922
For I've just been humping your gal.
Had you come home quickly,
Her dress'd be less stickly,
But wipe up I certainly shall.
--- Bob Mornington
Said a cunning young runt named Hal.
"Seems the girl of your dreams
Serves up death when she creams --
She's a running young cunt of a gal"
--- Gearhart
And she is a real loosy doozy.
Does any that move
And some that don't, too.
She is surely one cheap little floozy."
--- Gearhart
So, if with ol' Winnie, you play
You'll catch something gross --
(Like clap -- have a dose.)
One way or another -- you'll pay!
--- Anon
('Twas sebum and cancer-jam packed)
Was pinched by a turd,
And spewed out a curd,
That blistered her kinky john's sac!
--- H Welchel
Had found that her work was demanding,
Due to obstacles hidden.
Though she once was bedridden,
Her position of late's in good standing.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1450
While screwing a whore that was ashen.
He said, "If you've ambition,
I've a better position."
But she said she preferred it dog-fashion.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1474
Let reason his actions pervade.
From amongst the profession
He must choose with discretion,
Lest he's stuck with a whore that's decayed.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1779
His whore, with a full house, was sick.
So he campaigned the jails
For the scrofulous quails
And he tested them all with his prick.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1738
"I must change the sheets on my bed...
I've developed a rash,
On the lips of my gash,
And the inside's all puffy and red!"
--- Paul
Who thought she never would be sick.
But one time she got wrapped in
A long bout with a captain,
And she ended up terrobly seasick.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1605
Who thought she would never get sick.
But one time she got wrapped in
A long bout with the captain,
And she ended up terribly seasick.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
MORE