Said a fiend on a prowl in Bel Air, A perfect switch-hitter is Rooter; On the soft, sunny sands near Washago, There was a young man from Madrid A biker who dressed all in pink, A sweet little old lady named Lou, A nympho, whom we shall call Bess, Scotty proclaimed me this oath, Said an angry young lady from Texas: A bi-sexual rock star named Bender, Laughed lecherous switch-hitting Mose, There was a young Russian named Pavel Said another young Russian, Ivan, Then in rushed a third Russian, Boris, It's a custom of Frothingham Frenn Here's a question that's likely to vex you all: A flexible person named Kate, A bi-sexed has only two wishes. An Irishman Seamus O'Shea A confused young man named Troy, You may think this verse is ungodly, A faggot at me made a pass, He had this bum fetish, you see, There once was a man named Bob; There once was a woman named Jess; There once was a fellow named Bob, (gob - sailor)
Your Athenian man was no prude. In college, I knew a girl, Kate -- An honest old sinner named Wood There was a teenager named Kurtz On reflexion, one thing's very clear; A three-letter man on Long Island, (Fag) There once was a man from LA,
This is file ghm
A hillbilly from West Virginia Young Emily, sometimes called Greedy Em, My roomie announced he was bi, There was a young lady named Candy, Here's a lesbian Lou from New Milton. Experiencing his phallic invasion Out shopping for eggs with his brother, There is a young man from mid-Wales, What's this? Does sweet Carol imply I am sorry the rumor is rife Could a man from the old town of Loway, While sipping a cool ginger beer, I know what I want for my present; Said a certain young fellow named Martin, In a discussion I had intellectual, "Since my sex is bi-sex," cried Casey, The 60's weren't all fields of clover; There once was a man named Ben A jaded old faggot named Roys, A lesbian bride known as Sherry, Sherry's husband was a selfish lout who She walks with a roll and a wiggle, Though lacking a masculine spout, The teeth of a pig can be vicious, A fortnight has passed since I've posted So therefore, I share with my journal, While dining at "Ralph and Kakoos," She was a Mulatto whose skin Since I'm such exploitable prey, Well, under the spell of her charm, That Cajun gal said, "My oh, me oh!" Through fog and around cypress knees, The swamp's perils we three survived, Like drunks with a barrel of scotch,
"One should never give way to despair.
If I can't flush a female
My victim can be male.
A switch-hitter just doesn't care!"
--- Sex to Sexty P8808
He's what I would call your pure neuter:
One night, it is boys,
The next, female joys,
The third he just strokes his own shooter.
--- Armand E Singer 536
Whither artists both virile and gay go,
One can see every day
Such erotic display,
I suspect, come the summer, I may go.
--- Keith MacMillan 68d
Who fathered a hundred young kids.
He said, "So they tell me,
But since I'm a fairy,
I'm not sure that I really did."
--- Robert Elliot
Went into a tavern to drink.
The straights called him queer;
The gays bought him beer.
Turned out fifty-fifty, I think!
--- Anon
Has got me all worried and blue.
She's one of those gals
That fucks all your pals,
Then makes all your girlfriends too!
--- G0118
Loved Lester, a transvestite mess.
Though she never got screwed,
She could still get quite lewd,
For she learned how to get bi with Les.
--- Bob Birch P0605
I'm bisexual's, what Scotty quoth.
If girls I can't find,
To a man I'll be kind,
And if lucky I might get them both!
--- Anon
"I wish there were only two sexes.
Today, it appears,
There are four--counting queers--
And they grab off the men just to vex us!"
--- G1067
When asked by the press corps to render
An account of his flings,
Said, "Sex grooves and/or swings,
But that depends mostly on gender."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9111
"I go for cute belles and tall beaus,
Concave or convex,
I lust after sex;
I'm really quite helpless, God knows.
--- Armand E Singer 540
Who said to his girl, "Let's not cavil.
I want you to pose there
Without any clothes there,
And I'll bang away with my gavel.
--- Isaac Asimov
"Pray put all your clothing back on.
You have nothing, my dear,
That amuses me here,
But recline, Pavel, on the divan."
--- Isaac Asimov
Who said, "May I join this glad chorus?
I am always perplexed
By those unisexed;
For my part let each sex adore us."
--- Isaac Asimov
To suggest sex to women and men...
He smirks, "You run chances
Making two-way advances,
But Man, the payoff now and then!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 710
How do you know you're ambisexual?
Do you try it each way?
Or just wait for the day
When some blatant authority checks you all?
--- David Morin
When asked to describe her dream date,
Said boyishly young,
And very well hung,
with a nice pair of breasts would be great.
--- Chris Young
His hetero remains un-suspicious.
Then when yen has died,
And he's Mr. Hyde,
He quick-finds a Jekyl who swishes.
--- Irving Superior P9103
Tried to screw a young virgin from May-
o. He said, "Though it's slim,
It's too big for your quim,
But I know it Fitzpatrick OK."
--- Peter Wilkins a
Not sure if a girl or a boy,
Sucked off a lass
Who he fucked in the ass.
Then mused, am I Jew or a Goy?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And henceforth will look at me oddly.
Too long I'm supressing,
But now I'm confessing...
I'm lesbian, in a man's body.
--- Anon
He was after my lovely fat ass.
I told him "Look here mate!
I'm not gay; I'm straight!"
He said "I don't care: guy or lass!"
--- Funny Bone
And the size of mine filled him with glee.
But what sex didn't matter,
As long as 'twas fatter,
And would fit his thin seven inch tree.
--- Funny Bone
He liked a good slob on his knob.
Be it he or a she
No matter you see,
Bob was a bisex with his cob.
--- Anon
Bisexual , she would confess.
She loved a good dick,
But pussy she'd lick
And leave both a wet gooey mess.
--- Anon
Who in sexual ways was a snob.
One day he was swimmin'
With twelve naked women,
And deserted them all for a gob.
--- Anon
He savored female pulchritude,
But was also turned on
By the muscle and brawn
Of male athletes who performed nude.
--- A N Wilkins P9210
Who became bisexual of late.
She said, "He or she,
Doesn't matter to me --
It doubles my chance for a date!"
--- Kaylin
Confessed, "I am really no good;
Concave or convex,
I can't resist sex;
It's not than I'm misunderstood."
--- Armand E Singer 589
Who had sex with a bunch of young squirts,
Till a selfless coed
Took the bastard to bed.
Since then he has sex just with skirts.
--- A N Wilkins P8701
My ex-wife was bisexual, I fear.
I say this because
The simple fact was
She only liked sex twice a year!
--- Observer
Did a four-letter word on Fire Island (Fuck)
With disastrous effects--
Now he's practicing sex
With a five-letter gal out in Thailand. (Whore)
--- Grand Prix Lim 753 G0999
Who was neither quite straight nor quite gay.
Chris was his name;
With both genders the same,
Both sides of the field he would play.
--- Gerald LaCorte
Said, "I don't have nothing agin ya',
But I'm not a queer,
So keep it quiet, dear.
We'll pretend you a girl while I'm in ya'.
--- Mike M T9801
Simply scorned what was average and medium.
Though she had seven men,
She would want, now and then,
Some dames for relieving the tedium.
--- Isaac Asimov
I exclaimed, well so am I!
Now we "shop" together,
And I wonder whether
We'll fight o'er the same gal or guy.
--- Anon
Who made do, when no boys were handy,
With a girlfriend or two--
Sometimes Betty Lou,
But more often Belinda and Mandy.
--- John Ciardi
Her sexual career has been built on
Refilling the glasses
Of innocent lasses,
But one day she met Jock with his kilt on.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Has prvoed an awakening occasion;
No more does she cruise
Filling young girls with booze;
She's now of the hetero persuasion.
--- Tiddy Ogg
The bisexual said, "Keep this from mother,
But if you don't mind,
I'll have sex of one kind
And half a dozen of the other!"
--- Val Burns P0509
Whose romantic technique never fails.
All the girls he has dissed with,
Throughout Aberystwyth,
And more than a few of the males.
--- Richard Long
That I'm busy with some other gay guy?
I can not believe her;
She knows I love beaver
[But also some males that are bi.]
--- Anon
That I never have sex with my wife,
For I have it with her,
Mabel Mertz and Miss Burr,
Millie, Sally, Sue, Flo and Joe Fife!
--- Grand Prix Lim 90
Avoid gals for a year? Men bet no-way.
But our hero, undaunted,
Got the nookie he wanted.
All he did for twelve months was to go gay.
--- Robert Elliot
I thought: what's it like to be queer?
It must be a shame
Not to fancy a dame,
With her curves and her bumps here and here.
--- Anon
It's something quite smutty and pleasant.
My God, No! You fool!
It's not your big tool!
But a twat which is quite effervescent.
--- Cyberhog T9801
"It is never too late to be startin'.
I'll find me a girl
And give it a whirl."
Now he and his boyfriend are partin'.
--- Isaac Asimov
My friend said you know in effectual,
Your choice is times two
When you need a screw,
If the lifestyle you choose is bisexual.
--- Anon
"I've chosen a city that's racy.
With it's either-or zest,
I get letters addressed
To Washington D.C. or A.C."
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
At communes, when choosing a lover,
It became a prerequisite
To know just what sex is it,
Before asking it to turn over.
--- Evelyn L
Who loved both women and men.
Any time, any day,
He could go either way;
He just never knew where or when.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Tired of transvestites and boys,
Said he, with a sigh,
"I'm afraid I must try,
A woman for sexual joys."
--- Anon
Said her lust for her husband wasn't very.
"This normal coition
Is a big imposition.
To my innermost desires, it's contrary."
--- Bruce Thompson
Would interrupt her and shout, "Now! Let's screw!"
But Sherry got even
By saying, "Sure Steven,
Just don't wake me up when you're through."
--- Bruce Thompson
And seems always up for a giggle;
You feed her up good,
And she'll take your wood.
But then, folks, I guess any pig'll.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She's attractive to girlies, no doubt,
For the way that she grunts
While she's nudging their cunts,
With her splendidly flexible snout.
--- Peter Wilkins
And if the sow's feeling malicious,
Best keep your pudenda
Away from the end o'
The beast or your wick'll have fissures.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A limerick wherein I've boasted
Of peregrinations
And hot procreations,
With women whose pussies I've hosted.
--- Travis Brasell
This tale of two tails quite supernal;
Forsooth, tell I will
This decadent thrill,
Occurring not long hence, nocturnal.
--- Travis Brasell
A restaurant with rave reviews,
My favorite retreat
On old Bopurbon Street,
I met a young wench with tattoos.
--- Travis Brasell
Was olive in color, and in
Her eyes of deep blue,
A passionate hue,
I saw the seduction of sin.
--- Travis Brasell
She strolled in her hot, sultry way,
Straight up to my table
And asked, "Are you able
To go to my playground to play?"
--- Travis Brasell
In seconds, we left arm in arm.
Down by the canal,
She hailed her old pal,
A Cajun gal who owned a farm.
--- Travis Brasell
Make haste fast and gats in my pirogue;
We cross dat ol' swamp
To have us good romp
Before de sun rise on dis trio!"
--- Travis Brasell
Those girls paddled trying to squeeze
'Twixt gators and stumps,
While showing their rumps
And promising me some great sleaze.
--- Travis Brasell
And soon at the farm we arrived;
I urged them to hurry,
My mind was all blurry,
I knew that my time was short-lived.
--- Travis Brasell
Those two imbibed each other's crotch,
While I sat close by
(I thought I would die!)
With nothing to do except watch.
--- Travis Brasell