Those bitches, they touched, licked and kissed;
Not one spec of body was missed.
Their titties they nuzzled;
Their pussies they guzzled;
Ignoring me, I was quite pissed.
--- Travis Brasell

That night I thought I'd be their hero;
Instead I got nothing but zero;
No, I take that back,
Before the dawn's crack,
I got the hell out in that pirogue.
--- Travis Brasell

Now folks if you ever should be
On Bourbon Street, and you should see
A sexy Mulatto,
Remember her twatto
Has never been ravaged by me.
--- Travis Brasell

It's you backwoods boys from the sticks,
Should be leery of Bourbon Street chicks.
Watch out for the cutie
That offers you bootie;
Attached you'll find balls and a prick!
--- Goin2later

Good reason to get out my Witch hat
And attempt to assuage a hot itch that
I've felt for a while,
Let me treat you in style -
I'll come round for some nasty clit chat.
--- Anon

Said the agile young dyke, "In a bind,
There's thousands of ways we can grind...
Why, lodged back to back,
I can still reach her crack --
Though her clit is a bit hard to find."
--- John Miller Q

There was a young belle from Bombay,
Who never had thought herself gay.
'Till a queen from Siam
Said, "My dear, you're not jam!"
And brought that one out right away.

(Out of the closet - to acknowledge homosexuality)
--- L0455

I'm seldom a PC offender (politically correct)
But a lesbian's not a contender
With a man who's possesive,
Since she's mannish depressive
And full of delusions of gender.
--- Hugh Clary

Overdue questions now have begun,
Somewhat late since the damage is done.
Let's review the condition
Of the great coalition,
In the main, a group of merely one.
--- Loren Fitzhugh

She worked at the Mullah's behest,
Conducting a bomb-making test.
The explosion was small,
Didn't hurt her at all,
But it burned all the hair off her chest.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

Gushed pervert and pederast Brad,
"The best kind of sex that I've had:
A long night's delight,
A hot catamite,
That succulent nude Persian lad."
--- Ward Marden

There once was a Dutchman named Mike
Who brought on a lesbian strike
Through no fault of his own;
By birth he was prone
To trying to finger a dyke.
--- Norm Storer

I knew this young lady named Anna,
She hung with a gal called Roxana...
While not 'xactly gay
They'd do girls halfway
Then watch as they sang "Oh Susannah"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A beautiful gal named Vandyke
Had actions quite unladylike.
No man dared to date her
Much less masturbate her;
She's always in dutch; she's a dyke.
--- Tom Patton P0609

Said a cute little lesbian Swede,
With a hole to be plugged, she'll concede,
"I know you are Dutch,
So it shouldn't take much.
I'm a dyke -- it's a finger I need."
--- Bob Birch

The Bistro was known as Cumquat Tree,
And elegant intimate dykerie...
For girls with pert tits
And perky young clits,
The management waived every fee.
--- Ogni Gioia

Please tell me, what is the address?
I want to watch lezzies caress.
And fondle and squeeze,
Poke, prod, and tease;
At what, I'll just let you guess.
--- Funny Bone

The address, as you see, is as follows:
Soixante-neuf Avenue des Apollos.
But they only let in
Those to Sappho akin,
Who have at their crotch, dusky hollows.
--- Ogni Gioia

The tile in my bathroom is striking,
The girl in the shower's a dykeling.
She's a sweet fine young thing,
And she makes my heart sing,
And performs very much to my liking.
--- Anon

Our muses have all cried "Manana",
And trundled off back to nirvana,
To nakedly run
In lesbian fun,
With help from electric bananas.
--- Anon

There was an old lady named Beryl
Who had a young sister named Cheryl.
Some people did say
That these women were gay,
'Cause Beryl and Cheryl were feral.
--- Aussie Owl

A Lesbian Dutch girl named Wyck
Was walking along down the pike,
When horrors, some lad,
Abysmally bad,
Plunged finger deep into the dyke.
--- Armand E Singer 21

"I'll screw any girl that I like,"
Said an amorous Dutchman named Mike.
But sad though it seems,
The girl of his dreams
Had her finger stuck in a dyke.
--- Sam Pittman TP9806A

My friend's mom, boy, she's a whore,
But one day she pissed on the floor!
For when the door bell rang
She opened the thang;
There was her gay love from the store!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a fellow named Roddy,
Who was trapped in a woman's body.
Her therapist said,
It was all in her head,
But it was his head in her body.
--- Anon

A shameless Dutch lesbo named Wyke
Fell hard for a pert sapphic tyke;
She strapped on her dildo,
Though lacking much spildo,
And plugged up the hole in the dyke.
--- Armand Singer

The lesbian hooker felt snide,
To her eager johns having their ride.
Though she yelled out for more,
She thought "I could snore!
But I feed all my friends on Northside."
--- Bruce Thompson

A closeted dyke had a song in her,
For her rich hubby saw nothing wrong in her.
She was a plucky young wench,
And tried not to flinch,
As he thrust his huge purple-veined dong in her.
--- Bruce Thompson

There once was a dyke name of Sue,
Who loved to take girls out to screw.
I'd never defame her --
Can't say that I blame her --
You see, I'm a lesbian, too!
--- Laurence U

An aristocrat, Lady Nanette,
Was helped at her daily toilette
By a tease of a maid,
Just made to be laid,
So my Lady obliged that coquette.
--- Tutta Gioia

There's no need to look at me oddly,
Or tell me that I am ungodly,
'Cause I fancy Karen,
And Sharon, not Darren...
I'm a lesbian in a man's body.
--- Anon

My lesbian friend said "I'm horny,
But fisting's beginning to bore me.
With five fingers up it,
I feel like a Muppet.
I'm sick of my bitch speaking for me."

I replied, "The solution is clear.
It's a penis you're needin' my dear.
They're built for the job,
Plus they'll fit in your gob,
And I happen to have one right here!"

This is file ggm

"What luck!" said the lass, "I might screw you.
I've never been that fond of hoo-hoo;
A big pair of tits,
They're my favourite bits,
And most men ain't got 'em but you do!

I was slightly offended, but fark it --
It's not every day I can park it.
Most girls aren't impressed
With my man-booby chest,
But it's big in the lesbian market.

Miss Lewinsky, one fine autumn day
A sleazy new tale did convey.
She said, "On a whim
I licked Hillary's quim
Now I go the DeGeneres way."
--- Anon

We men should not put up a fuss
When a woman for women has lust.
For it should be clear,
It's not at all queer;
She just likes the same thing as us.
--- Brasell

So well stacked was the coed named Brenda,
All the studs wished to part her pudenda.
But to their dismay,
They found her first lay
Was not Tom, Dick, or Harry, but Glenda.
--- Smitdog Duarte

While sitting in a dim-lighted bar,
I noticed her there from afar.
But instead of a mister,
She went home with my sister,
So I walk with a limp to my car.
--- Anon

Joan's note to her hubby said: "Bye,
But please know it's no other guy;
It's just that I've got
To have in my twat
The tongue of your sister -- that's why!"
--- Anon

There was a young tart from the South End,
Tried lesbian sex with a girl friend.
With a moan and a grunt,
She licked her mates cunt,
And loved the experience no end.
--- Anon

There was a young girl from Decatur,
Who fought her parents plans to mate her.
They sent her boys,
Both Jews and goys,
But she loved the woman who ate her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A Lesbian on a divan
Ate sushi right out of the can.
The smell of the fish
And the rice made her wish
That her lover'd come back from Japan!
--- Thunderwing

Said Helen to Sappho, "Away us!
And quick, before Sparta's in chaos.
Young Paris ain't scary;
I think he's a fairy;
But stay, and I fear Menelaus."
--- Anon

A group of blind Lesbians were lunchin'
Together to have a big luncheon.
But no one could tell,
Except by the smell,
Exactly whose cunt each was munchin'.
--- Alan Oz

There was a young man they called Mike;
A person you just had to like.
He chatted up Pat,
Who turned him down flat.
He reckoned that she was a dyke.
--- Gaz Perch

There once was a dyke from B.C.
Who went off on a hetero spree.
She said, "With some luck
I might get a fuck
From a like-minded lesbo like me."
--- Sherm Brucker

Well, the straight folk can think what they like
But gay unions are going on strike.
They'd respected the law
Up until the last straw,
When the Judge said to take in a dyke.
--- Neal Wilgus P8608

Last night, your girlfriend I stole;
I decided to fill up her hole.
But I ran away
When she said she was gay;
Her hole was no longer a goal.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A lady who lived in Corfu
Heard quaffing semen's good for you.
But her tunnel was sapphic
And closed to male traffic,
So its health food she had to eschew.
--- Robert Elliot

A naive college student named Mike,
Who majored in Abnormal Psych,
When he tried to take May
For a roll in the hay,
Said, "I wasn't informed she's a dyke!"
--- Frank Ward P9310

There once was a woman named Gwen,
Who was rated by most as a "ten",
Which was hard on the guys
Who had lust in their eyes,
Because Gwen wasn't partial to men.
--- Cap'n Bean P0508

I'll tell you the tale of Fred Moss;
At salesmanship he was a dead loss.
He couldn't sell ewes
For Aussie blokes screws,
Or dildoes to ladies Lesbos.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Well, you can imagine the gloom
That descended on ancient Khartoum
When the judge's decision
Made lesbianism
An improper use of the womb.
--- Neal Wilgus P8507

There was a wierd chick called May,
Who contemplated being gay.
She found a sexy, big-titted chick,
Without the complications of a dick,
And now all she says is "YAY!!!"
--- Anon

I knew her when he was Jose,
And sang in a Spanish cafe.
Looking for romance,
He found Ogg in France,
And became a woman that day.
--- Anon

Mused a lesbian schemer named Wild,
Simply mad about spawning a child,
"Milking sperm from the brothers
Of significant others,
Will insure no two fam'lies defiled."
--- Armand Singer

A lesbian raped in Van Nuys
By a passel of passionate guys
Said, "I thought hetero-sexing
Would be very vexing,
But this session's sure opened my thighs!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 533

Religious beliefs of May Quick,
The dyke, make her worried and sick.
You're reincarnated
As what you most hated,
She's going to come back as a prick.
--- Tiddy Ogg

If by Sappho you're tempted, my dear,
From her you have nothing to fear.
Try her a while,
Return that sweet smile,
And see how you feel in a year.
--- TuttaGioia

I once wrote a song with those words,
But lesbian friends thought them turds.
They said "Hi, you're hairy,
And sometimes quite scary.
And No, you can't check us for curds!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

For lesbians, there is not a cure.
I have tried, of this I am sure.
But I've often been told,
"It's much nicer to hold,
Than all the dick I must endure."
--- Funny Bone

There was a young lady named Sherry
Seduced by the lesbian Mary.
She found love that day,
And with dykes she'll stay,
But she still hasn't lost her cherry.
--- Anon

So well stacked was a freshman named Brenda,
That the studs yearned to part her pudenda.
So they all were irate
When her first campus date,
Wasn't Tom, Dick, or Harry -- but Glenda!
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

I saw when she reached her MG,
The breeze pressed her skirt to her vee.
I caught her sweet scent
As I sensed discontent,
I thought, if she'd just hear my plea.
--- Ogni Gioia

I approached and I said, "Will you hear
What I feel in my heart, without fear?"
She gazed in my eyes
And showed no surprise.
Then I whispered so soft in her ear...
--- Ogni Gioia