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His chest and his buttocks are hairy; There was an old lech from St Assive There once was a homo called Danny, I once met a retarded young soul A miserable wretch, Percy Bagget, What distinguishes man from the herds, Living the life of a sybarite, A fag by the name of Bob Burns A whorehouse at 9 rue de Rennes, The prick of a homo named Bobek The bugger does not make amends; Fitzpatrick, Fitzgerald, and me A flatulent fairy from Carson If you don't know the difference, class, His cheeks were spread open real wide, There once was a fellow, Oh My! My brother's a boy scout, you know, There once was a faggot named Ray I know a young man named Brian, Lisped that moldy old turd, Jim Smith, The Boy Scouts would like to stay Straight, A sherrif from old Gila Bend Jim Smith has flown off to Frisco, Said the gay guy they call Tommy Tucker, A fairy from Wichita, Ks, Pissed off is a faggot named Geer; A rather gay actor called Fox It would seem it is almost too crass The nudist camp gave the heave-ho Since right at the dawn of creation, There was a young homo, McShane, An anal erotic named Dwight You are just a rotten gay runt; There once was a cute little Bunny, It takes at least four or five beers Don't knock it, dear John, till you've tried I think, my dear Tiddy, you'll find, What! Me with a stallion? That's scary! Young gold miner Jim is a gay flirt, Said Lady B to her butler, "My dear, I knew a young man from Aberystwyth, When perusing magazines, top rack, Across the Atlantic was steaming Said a gay Classics buff named McPeake: The treatment by old Mr. Mears A kindly old fellow was Clapper; Lisped a limp-wristed cowboy named Fay: Said a hairless young homo from Butte: A big bugger-&-egg man named Field A famous gay cocksman named Grimm, Said a sodomous sissy from Siddon: There was a young man from Ostend, There's a waiter who works close to here A craftsman who weaves in Khartoum, There once was a man from South Bend-- The friend of a homo named Dutch A Salopian student of Greek, (pertaining to Shropshire) (A. E. Housman)
There was a young fellow named Grimm At White's after tea at the Palace, Here lies an old man from West Glen When asked, a young faggot named Sears No robber, no baron was smugger There once was a lady from Sodom, It seems the Rajah of Kashmir Then spoke the headmaster of Rugger, A fellow whose surname was Heidi, A real flaming faggot was Floyd;
That thing at his crotch seems quite scary.
Don't like it at all,
My back's to the wall,
My godfather, John, is a fairy.
--- Anon
Who liked his men meaty and massive.
But if they like to screw,
He'll say "Bugger you!
Just lie on your front and be passive."
--- Chris Young
Who just wasn't getting much fanny.
He was boring and dull,
With always a lull,
So he had to make do with his granny.
--- Anon
Who had accepted his life, on the whole.
He was kind of sad
So I felt kind of bad
When I put both my balls in his hole.
--- Anon
Who knows what he is, a damned faggot,
Does favor the joys
Of buggering boys;
He's worse than a rapist, that maggot.
--- Armand Singer
Is his masterly use of his words.
But take care and think!
Say the wrong thing and blink
And somebody's packing your turds.
--- Anon
Troll Jim Smith thinks he is dynamite.
Though a pain in the ass,
His new job is high class;
Jim earns his keep now as a catamite.
--- Ward Hardman
Shows taste of the kind that discerns:
On visits by friends
He has them change ends,
Because it's more fun taking turns.
--- Armand E Singer 955
Had troubles at luring in men,
'Till they got some fairies
With pretty dillberries,
And their clientele came back again.
--- L1049
Complained, "Hey, I'm real claustrophobic;
I feel badly confined
In my boyfriend's behind;
Please cut me some slack that's aerobic."
--- Armand Singer
His action he staunchly defends.
His approach, though posterior,
Without doubt is superior
For enlarging the circle of friends.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0898
Are terribly gay company.
FitzP fits FitzG
And FitzG fits FitzP,
And each of those Fitzes fits me!
--- Michael Horgan
Was forever impaling his arse on
Some handy old pole,
And once, save his soul,
He found he had sat on the parson.
--- Hugh Oliver A077B
'Twixt homo's and hoboes that pass:
The hoboes are bums
Without any chums,
But homo's have friends up the ass.
--- Anon
So Leroy could just slip inside.
Jimmy yelled out in pain,
"Hey, this isn't a game,
And I think that the gerbil just died."
--- Anon
Who would stealthily feel up your thigh.
With his pecker he'd plumb
The depth of your bum,
And sigh "What a good boy am I!"
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
But he never has badges to show.
He says he earns merit
For taking it where it
Won't hurt if it's greased-up and slow...
--- Karen
Who butt-fucked old Ernie one day.
His voice, not the sternest,
He said, half in Ernest,
"To think that some folks call me gay!"
--- David Miller
Who could not get a screw even lyin'.
So with a different hand,
He went for a man,
But by the end of the screw he was cryin'.
--- Anon
Whose poetry skill is a myth,
At the local gay bars,
While extolling his arse,
"Oh pretty boys, give it a kith!"
--- Ward Hardman
But New Joisey says, "Boys, it's too late;
Be prepared, go and buy
Yourself some KY:
First shafting, a gift of this State!"
--- Anon
Would cornhole his buddy's best friend.
He said, "In this county
I'm just like a Mountie --
I always get my man in the end."
--- David Miller
To pick up a mate in a disco.
He'll soon play a porn role,
Featuring his corn hole,
And a huge supply of canned Crisco.
--- Ward Hardman
"You call me a wimpy cock sucker.
Well, those tales about me
Are as wrong as can be,
'Cause I'm really a macho ass-fucker!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408
Wrote several limerick Sts,
Disparaging twat
As merely a slot,
That was never a tight as a Ms.
--- Ward Hardman
He let his best friend plumb his rear;
But now he just scowls;
It rowelled his bowels,
And everyone says he looks queer.
--- Armand Singer
Was often found down at the docks
In his favorite role,
Which was filling his hole
With big burly stevedores' cocks.
--- Michael Horgan
To yearn for hot sex with a lass.
There's nothing that's finer
Than a lady's vagina,
And gay sex is a pain in the ass!
--- Buzzard
To a big husky lifeguard named Joe.
For at poolside one day
With old sissified Ray,
Playing leap-frog and jumping too low.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9111
Men have all shot their libation
Into the tails
Of other stud males,
Who find it a pleasing sensation.
--- Anon
Who said, "Sex in the ass is a pain.
But the pain is, I fear,
Far outweighed for a queer,
By the pleasure! Let's do it again!"
--- Alexander Baron
On Halloween's known to invite
A few friends for the eve
In hopes he'll receive
Some things that go rump in the night.
--- Paul Dukas
We know it's boys backsides you shunt;
But if some cocksucker
Asked you to fucker,
You'd first have to shit in her cunt.
--- David Miller
This is file gdm
Who everyone thought was quite funny.
He went in the wrong bar,
And things went too far,
And today his shit is still runny.
--- Anon
To deal with my plausible fears;
This land split in two,
Not Red States and Blue,
But Straight States and States full of queers.
--- David Miller
A hot throbbing todger inside
Your ass; you may find
You enjoy such a grind,
And soon you'll be joining "Gay Pride".
--- Tiddy Ogg
John's already tried it from behind;
Being boffed with great force
By a well-hung Clydesdale horse,
So for seconds he's now disinclined.
--- David Miller
I'll tell you one thing, I'm no fairy.
When I'm after tail,
It must be female.
(Though sometimes the species can vary.)
--- John Miller
Up whose ass, most prospectors may squirt;
But now he is chargin'
A fine profit margin;
They say that the fellow struck pay dirt.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Aren't you just the tiniest bit queer?"
He answered in surprise,
"Ma'am, I thought you'd realize
Servants always come in through the rear."
--- Alan Britain
Who just wasn't safe to bet pissed with.
When he'd had too much beer,
He'd go down to the pier,
Looking form sailors to fist with.
--- Colin from London
You should always keep watch on your back.
Some of those mags
Are designed for the fags,
And you could end up with meat in your crack.
--- Mike Desso
A ship, on-board gay Abel Leeman.
While prodding his poker
Inside of the stoker,
Did make him a Full Abel's semen.
--- Anon
"What I yearn for and hornily seek
Is a tryst that's obscene
With a handsome Hellene,
Which I'd spend boning up in my Greek."
--- Jim O'Conner P9210
Of small chubby boys and their rears,
Appears to his God
As unnatural and odd:
Can it be he is one of those queers?
--- G1012
He'd plenty of tricks, young and dapper.
He would trap them, it seems,
With intricate schemes.
He's now known as "Clapper, the trapper."
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
"It's a hell of a place to be gay!
I must, on these prairies,
For the shortage of fairies,
With the deer and the antelope play."
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
"I detest being such a weird fruit."
He was frequently stomped,
So male hormones he chomped,
And now he's an effete, hairy brute.
--- G0940
Reaped the pleasures young boy-asses yield.
Now he's known as a queer
Since early last year,
When his favorite ass-istant squealed.
--- Grand Prix Lim 245 G0970
Was known for his buggering vim.
When a fairy named Bill
Asked the source of his skill,
Grimm replied, "I keep fit in a Jim."
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
"I prefer my perversion well-hidden.
Though a young man may suit
The desire of my root,
I'm aware that such fruit is forbidden."
--- G0940a
Who went for a drink with a friend.
They had a few jars
With two boys in some bars,
And so each had a friend in the end.
--- E O Parrot
And he does it much, 'cause he's queer.
But if that makes you nervous,
He gives extra service:
"May I service, you, Sir, from the rear?"
--- Anon
Lures innocent boys to his room.
Consumed by that fever,
This Sudanese weaver
Has been nicknamed the 'Fruit of the Loom'.
--- Tom Patton Playboy P9602
Talked sodomy down, to a friend.
Then up spoke a dude,
"Sir, you say it is rude,
But you'll find it is fun in the end."
--- Donald Dimont
Is neck deep in trouble, too much;
He was caught one month past,
With his pants at half mast,
Not in Dutch but worse, into Dutch.
--- Armand E Singer 1000
Had a love of Hellenic physique.
And many a lad
In Ludlow he had,
But the dint of his classic technique.
--- Martin Fagg
Who oft changed his name on a whim.
When cruising, he'd go
By the name of Big Joe.
He thought it a good homonym.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
The colonel remembered a phallus,
And a bit of a lark
In Regent's Park
With a waiter who called himself Alice.
--- Gents Alphabet Book P9602
Who, laughingly, kissed only men.
He kissed the wrong one
Now this life is done.
In his next life he'll do it again.
--- Anon
Rejected professional careers.
"I'll not work to the bone,
I'll just get me a loan,
And I'll spend my whole life in arrears."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2786
Than that German, the happy whore hugger.
His own major domo
(A sodomite homo)
Swore he'd bugger that old mugger Fugger.
--- Anon
For women she cared not a goddamn.
But a virgin she died,
For each male she espied,
Was pursuing some other guy's bottom.
--- Lee Dotson G0180A P8207
Is more than a little bit queer.
Nowadays his sex joys
Come from fat-bottomed boys,
And he ain't topped his wife for a year.
--- G0990
A most accomplished old bugger:
"I spend half each night
With a smooth catamite.
My wife? I don't even hug her."
--- G1051
Once worked at a mill in North Bridey.
And when he could do so,
Like Robinson Crusoe,
He always would get off on Friday.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
He preyed on the genus negroid;
Plus handsome male Asians
And well-hung Caucasians,
Whatever is called anthropoid.
--- Armand Singer
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