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Three girly-men, all dressed in leather, A student of business at Yale Said an unhappy female named Sears: There was a young fairy named Nate, In a gay troupe, an actor named Freed, If your asshole is longing for cock, A young fairy who'd eaten raw meat A lady became very dizzy I know it may sound quite obscene. He's head-over-heels for the girl; She's his diamond, his ruby, his pearl; A gay guy said at the zoo, If cocksucking is what you like best, A counterfeit master named Phil "No, never," said the bitchy old queen. There once was a fag named Tim Young, A naive young fellow named Harry "I'll do it for Art, I'm no prude!" Said the doc to his patient, fag Fred, The friends of a sweet-faced young man, Beneath the big chestnut tree leafy, There's a reason Barton is queer, A sensitive fellow named Harry There once was a man with no spunk, To the shrine which was Pallas Athena's "Alliance, I think, would be silly," An effeminate fellow named Ron, There was a Scots boy scout from Airdrie A Phi Delt known as Carruthers The homos who swish down on Greene A wornout saucy old fruit, A fairy named Archibald Brown There is a young faggot named Mose, Seems things for Gary do not glitter. A mincing old faggot named Kelly There once was a queen from Akron There was an old lady of Bingly, "Though I'm pretty broadminded," lisped Roy, There was an Old man with a poker, Said the Dean to my Dad, with aplomb, A postal inspector named Dale, There's a gay prison chaplain named Locke, A pervy young fellow named Claude There was a cute chap from Bombay, Some of the frat-rats at Purdue, An unliberated young gay There was a young fellow named Oakum, There once was a man named Amanda A much-abused fairy named Miles There once was a young man named Jay, A Kokomo cop named O'Toole There was a young man named Tweet, There was an Old Man on a hill, There once was a guy with an odd gait, There was a old man from Kieth, Results can be quite unforeseen Said Jane to her mother, "I fear A gay lost his boots in a game... A raucous young fairy named Fred I happened across Wilbur Lawson There once was a man from L.A. A randy young sailor named Mace At a strange chick's place, getting fellation; At the bar I'd thrown back a few beers, A fellow from North Caroliner, My spouse says I should be discrete,
Played a game with two whips and a feather.
Before all their sessions,
They asked the same questions:
They asked "When" and "Where" but not "Whether."
--- Phred
Lacked cash and he thought he would fail,
But he had no concern
When he made the right turn
And he found that his ass was for sale.
--- Al Chaplin P9409
"The world is just full of those queers!
Every party I go to
There's no one to say no to;
The men swish about waggling their rears."
--- G0180
Who was shy and reserved on a date.
He broke down and wept
When a cock he'd accept.
He's afraid he'd become what he ate.
--- Donald Dimock
Was consumed by a cocksucking need.
When they found him in bed,
With the star, the chap said,
"It's a game where I'm blowing the lead!"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
I've nine inches as hard as a rock.
It's also quite thick
This marvelous prick
And ready to fuck round the clock!
--- Anon
Maintained sex relations discreet.
He received Eskimos
In the holes in his nose,
And buggered a horse with his feet.
--- G0695
And got herself in quite a tizzy.
She moaned "It's so mean
But I've GOT to be Queen;
So I'll just call myself Busy Lizzie!"
--- Anon
But the Queen is a deaf man (and mean).
When folks call him Liz,
He's all in their biz,
Screaming "I'm not a lez... I'm a Queen!"
--- Anon
Both his heart and his mind are a whirl.
Of his eye, she's the apple;
Such feelings to grapple!
As centerfolds go, she's a pearl!
--- Anon
Such a huggable, kissable girl.
Of his eye she's the apple;
He aches for the chapel.
Too bad she's a trucker named Burl.
--- Anon
When asked if a parrot he blew,
"I've never consorted
With fowl that sordid,
But I have sucked a mean cockatoo."
--- Irish
You have come to the end of your quest.
You can wiggle and squirm
And swallow my sperm,
As I fuck down your throat with great zest.
--- Anon
Was caught with a queer in Brazil.
Behind his new press
They found a pink dress,
And the plates for a three-dollar bill.
--- Anon
"I'm afraid your habits aren't clean.
There'll be a long month of Sundays
Ere I lend you my undies.
Go shit in your own crepe de Chine."
--- Anon
Who liked big sweaty dicks in his bung.
He blew rednecks and hicks,
From midnight to six,
And licked all their jizz with his tongue.
--- J Strackokiovic
Met dozens of loose girls in Gary.
But he kept on ducking
His chances of fucking,
Unaware he was a latent young fairy.
--- G0087
He said, as he posed in the nude.
But, on viewing his ass,
The whole fairy class,
Decided it ought to be screwed.
--- L0507
"You've got herpes from anus to zed;
Who left you this way?"
"Good God, I can't say;
Who has eyes in the back of his head?"
--- Armand E Singer 30a
Made fun of his name, which was Jan.
But don't blame his mother,
He was named by another,
His father, whose name was Diane.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
The blacksmith stands, thick-set and beefy;
With triceps the size
Of his biceps and thighs;
He's well known in the village as Fifi.
--- Anon
When you meet him, the reason is clear.
A godess named Venus
Gave him a penis,
But Ma Nature filled up his brassiere.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Thought sex too revolting to marry.
So he went out in curls,
And frowned on the girls,
And he got to be known as a fairy.
--- L1433
Whose cock was incredibly shrunk.
His friends called him tiny,
And fudge-packed his heiny,
And came in the mouth of this punk.
--- Bluesman
Young Bito, who'd learned about penis,
Brought her needles and thread
And scissors and said,
"You can stick them, I'm changing to Venus!"
--- L0808
Said a hustler of sex, name of Billy.
"And in my opinion,
To join the queens union,
Would sort of be guilding my lily."
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Had been teased 'til his patience was gone.
A fight, he declared,
With no holds to be spared;
They dueled with handbags at dawn!
--- G Watson
Whose bottom was always kept bared. He
Explained, "The scout master
Can enter me faster,
And a boy scout must aye be prepared. See?"
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Will never make little girls mothers.
Around the old brown,
He is covered with down
To wipe off the dongs of his brothers.
--- L0460
Have rented a ladies' latrine...
One said, "It's so arty
We're giving a party,
And I have been picked as the Queen."
--- Grand Prix Lim 996
Reamed out in the rear of his route,
Said with a shy grin,
"I can take your foot in,
As long as you take off your boot!"
--- Straydog
Has an exquisite penthouse in town,
But the ride up the lift
Always leaves him quite miffed,
For he'd really much rather go down.
--- Norm Storer
Who insists that you fuck his long nose.
And you'll double the joy
Of this lecherous boy
If you'll tickle his balls with your toes.
--- L0324
This is file gam
By now he's had one up the shitter,
While singing, "Come On.
I'm one sad anon,
'Cause I've lost my best baby-sitter."
--- Anon
Reads sissified verses by Shelley.
This homo, this wimp,
Whose penis is limp,
His backbone's confected ofjelly.
--- Armand Singer
Who was asked if he screwed in the john.
"Oh Mary!" he said,
"I'd rather be dead."
And swish, the gay fairy was gone.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Who wailed, "I do hate to sleep singly.
I thought I had got
A bloke for my twat,
But he seems rather queenly than kingly."
--- G0015
As he sat at the bar and looked coy.
"Though the women who think
They can thway me with dwink,
Thoon thee I'm not that thort of boy!"
--- Barrie Collins
Who painted his face with red ochre.
When they said, "You're a Gay!"
He replied, "I'm that way.
You see I'm the Queen, not the Joker."
--- Edwardian Leer 005 P9306
"We have need to discuss your son, Tom.
You have cause for distress
Since he oft wears a dress,
And he's been chosen Queen of the Prom!"
--- Observer
Who's limp-wristed, mincing and frail,
Will attempt an inspection
To detect an erection
As he cruises to pick up the male.
--- Jim O'Conner P9111
With a weakness for hard convict cock.
For his assholy ways
In his Alcatraz days,
He was nicknamed "The Piece Of The Rock".
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Often fell down and crawled
On hands and knees,
In order to please
The kind of head that's always bald.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And people thought he was gay.
By the way that he walked
And the way that he talked,
But his colleagues prefered him that way.
--- Anon
Have the habit of saying "Fuck You".
But one man did say
In his own queer way,
"Well I don't mind if you do!"
--- Anon
Tried his best to be "Queen for a Day."
But the place where he strove
Was called "Cherry Grove,"
So he wasn't quite built the right way.
--- Pierce Evans
Whose brags about fucking were hokum.
For he really preferred
To suck cocks and stir turd.
He was Queen of the Flits in Hoboken.
--- L0498
Who, as a queer, was in high demand-a.
On the streets of Madrass,
He would peddle his ass,
'Till the police read him "Miranda."
--- Anon
Did buy him a set of round files
He could run up his ass,
Before friends made a pass,
To smooth off a bad case of piles.
--- Armand E Singer 572a
We came to find out, he was gay.
He'd get fucked up the butt
Till his old brown-eye shut.
And then he'd shit semen all day.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Kept his gat in his shorts as a rule.
One day this young clod
Whipped out the wrong rod,
And a gay crook cried, "Shoot me, you fool!"
--- Michael Weinstein P8807a
Who minced as he walked down the street.
He wore shoes of bright red,
And playfully said,
"I may not be strong, but I'm sweet."
--- L1547
Who seldom if ever stood still;
He ran up and down
In his Grandmother's gown,
And gave all the Pansies a thrill.
--- Edwardian Leer 056
Thought it strange that most fellows did walk straight.
His hips he wiggled,
And to fellows who giggled,
He said, "Queer you took the bait, mate."
--- Jim
Who never could get any peath,
By asking young men
If they hadn't the yen
To get sucked off by one without teeth.
--- L0407
When scientists mess with our genes;
A well-endowed fruit
They tried to transmute,
Creating a peach of a queen!
--- Mark Levy P9403
My husband's turned into a queer.
On Sundays and Mondays
He irons my undies,
And he secretly wears my brassiere."
--- Anon
And his shirt, and his pants, but no shame --
Was it poker? No way!
That's no game for a gay.
He played "poke 'em." To lose was his aim!
--- Shakes Younger Bro TP9802
Would never consent to give head.
He always would pass,
Liking it up the ass,
And eating the results instead.
--- Anon
With cheeks spread and letting his boss in!
"As you see I'm a fairy,"
He started his query,
"Is there anything you'd like to toss in?"
--- Jeff Iverson
Who was so incredibly gay,
He took off his clothes
And struck a queer pose,
And went off to use the bidet.
--- Woodward
Got a fright that he couldn't erase.
As he lifted the skirt
Of his highly paid flirt,
And found balls staring back in his face
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Saw a picture which gave consternation;
I said: "Who is that dope?
Not your hubbie, I hope?"
"That's me, love, before my operation!"
--- Anon
When in walked a bevy of dears.
I exchanged a few winks
And bought them some drinks,
Then learned that the bastards were queers.
--- John Miller
Was caught in the act with a minor.
But it wasn't so bad.
It wasn't a lad,
But a friendly gold-diggin' forty-niner.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
And not wear my clothes in the street.
If Smith could just see,
My spouse is a he --
My bedsheets would stay much more neat.
--- Anon
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