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A young airline stewardess, May,
Has achieved liberation today.
She screwed without quittin',
From New York to Britain;
It's clear she has come a long way.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

There was a young woman named Meg
Who liked all her boyfriends to beg.
She found it in keeping
To have them start weeping,
When she stopped them halfway up her leg.
--- Isaac Asimov

There was a young woman named Melanie
Who was asked by a man, "Do you sell any?"
She replied, "No siree,
I give it for free.
To sell it, dear sir, is a felony."
--- Isaac Asimov a

So where is the lovely Michelle?
That Gal with the heavenly smell.
My trousers grow tight
With muscular might;
Now she's got me under her spell.
--- Anon

A girl named Miss Fortune sighed, "Oh,
My name's a misfortune, I know.
Miss Takes's just as bad;
Mis Fits is quite mad.
And that Miss B. Haviour should go!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

There was a young woman named Myra
Who said to an ardent admirer,
"If you've really planned
To meed my demand,
You'll become an exhausted perspirer."
--- Isaac Asimov

I've always felt sorry for Myrtle,
With a face that resembled a turtle;
I just can't abide it,
And Myrtle can't hide it,
But someday we all know that dirt'll.
--- Alsops Foibles

I'll tell you the story of Myrtle,
Who laid on her back like a turtle,
As I primed my rod,
Awaiting the nod...
Then into her crotch I would hurtle.
--- SFA

I know a lass named Myrtle, too,
Though she's more like a large kangaroo.
Puts you on your back
And goes on attack,
Up and down and almost right through.
--- Anon

A turtle that lies on its back
Is vulnerable to attack.
For rhyme did you do it,
But you should eschew it,
And find for yourself a new crack.
--- Cyber Wizard

That's right, son, you've nothing to fear
And need give no thought to your rear.
It's true that we're odd
But don't want your bod.
We all make our own cracks in here.
--- Anon

"A supine chelonian's unwise
And prone to attack!" Cybe R. cries.
But I think SFA
And Myrtle would say
That's the point of the whole exercise
--- SFA

That Myrtle you know is my aunt,
A woman both sallow and gaunt.
Although she's a hag,
She enjoys a good shag;
So, thank you, Sir! You're most gallant.
--- Jeanie

Her sister, so lacking in poise,
Was more the lop-sided Tortoise.
And though I did well
To blast through her shell,
Her quim made a terrible noise.
--- SFA

An impetuous she is Nadine
Who doth bring men to heights near obscene.
She can ride till you groan...
And beg, "Leave me alone!"
Oh, you'll ache as you clutch your ball, peen.
--- Mara

There was a young woman named Nancy,
Delightful and sweet and romancy.
Yet your try will be vain,
If you want your sex plain,
For her style of performance is fancy.
--- Isaac Asimov

Pat is a jolly good screw;
She really does know what to do;
Has a sensuous mouth,
And there's plenty down south.
But I didn't say that, did you?
--- Anon

A woman there was named Pauline,
Who's always been terribly keen
On kissing and wooing,
Indiscriminate screwing,
And anything else that's obscene.
--- Isaac Asimov

A young college nympho named Prudence
Spent the night in a frat with the students.
By the dawn's early light,
She slipped out of sight,
And she left not a single protrudence!
--- Sex to Sexty P8808

A delightful young woman named Rita
Knew the ropes when a fellow would meet her.
Discreet were her ways
If nothing took place,
And if something did, still discreeter.
--- Isaac Asimov

Said Joe to his lady friend Rose,
"I'm sure you can hardly suppose
It is pleasant for me
That invariably,
When we screw, you fall into a doze."
--- Isaac Asimov

There once was a girl named Rose,
Who'd suck a golf ball through a hose.
She'd open her legs wider
Than a funnel-webbed spider
Whilst performing lewd acts with her toes.
--- Sandman

There was a young gypsy girl Rose
With obsessions for gentlemens' hose;
Up her pussy, her rear,
In her mouth and each ear,
And her cute little freckle-tipped nose.
--- Peter Wilkins

A big-busted beauty named Russell
Delighted to dunk a love-muscle.
"Man, I'm lucky," she said,
"For guys come to my bed,
While other girls go out and hustle!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 115

There once was a gossip named Sadie
Who lived her whole life rather shady.
"Talk is cheap", said the broad,
And my friend, with a nod,
Said, "It is, but then so is the lady."
--- Slade Grout

Although the telegrapher hid it,
And was too mortified to admit it,
His daughter, sweet Sandy,
Was ever so randy,
And did it, and did it, and did it.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9407a

Our gorgeous receptionist, Sandy,
Is yours for a small shot of brandy.
And if in the day
You get trouser affray,
You'll find Sandy obligingly handy.
--- Peter Wilkins

I thank you all for your nice sharin'
You tips regarding this Sharyn.
For now I can see
Through limericks I'll be
A happy man carin' 'bout Sharyn.
--- Captain Chaos

There once was a lass named Sharyn;
For her, my heart had much carin'.
But some other bloke
Got her by a poke
And now a frown I am wearin'.
--- Jeff

There once was a woman named Sharyn;
For this lass, my heart had much carin'.
But she got a pokin'
From a bloke in Hoboken,
And now it's a frown I am wearin'.
--- Anon

I once dated a lass, name of Sharon.
She wore plungin' necklines so darin'.
But by a lucky stroke
I found she was a bloke.
So now I'm just limited to starin'.
--- Tom Allen

There once was a young girl called Sharyn,
Who thought that carin' was sharin'.
She thought of herself
And got left on the shelf,
For carin' and sharin' is pairin'.
--- Michelle

Next time chose a girl named Bug
And no doubt she will give you a hug.
A hug is designed
With two people in mind.
A hug may just come with a FUG!
--- Michelle

This is file gal

There was a young woman named Shirley,
With eyes blue, cheeks pink, and teeth pearly.
Her figure curved nicely
Where it ought to precisely,
And when she said "No", men grew surly.
--- Isaac Asimov

In 1960 there was born
A young lass by the name of Siobahn.
To her family's displeasure
She took as her leisure
Learning how to play the English horn.
--- Big Mick

There once was a surfer named Stella,
Who searched on the net for a fella.
She'd lurk in the forums
And chat auditoriums,
With no luck, so she played 'a capella'.
--- ROE

An equal rights leader called Sue
Goes to church every Sunday, it's true.
When the priest say, "Amen",
He get furious when
Sue shouts loudly, "AND AH WOMAN, TOO!"
--- Sandy Lunde P8407

A pickle-packer named Sue
When asked if she'd like to screw,
Said, "I'm not partic'lar
'Bout who is my pickler;
Fact--sometimes I make a dildoo!"
--- JLMB

Look at our lovable Lou;
She's sure to be looking at you!
Her innocent eyes
Are big with surprise,
And she looks, and then looks, till she's through!
--- Florence E Scott P0900

A young flight attendant named Susan,
To whom all thing's were confusin',
What she lacked in her head
She made up in bed,
For the rest of her was good for usin'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

At Dante's each night there's a prize;
A raffle, much loved by the guys.
The winner each night
Will have the delight
To get his head twixt Suzie's thighs.
--- Tiddy Ogg

"Oh Father, I have a confession,
But I won't tell with whom I've been messin'."
He replied, "Is it Sandy?
Or Julia? Or Mandy?"
And I got three good leads from one session.
--- KJR

There was a young lady called Twat,
A name she disliked quite a lot.
So she changed it to Gash,
A word with panache,
And a much better moniker, wot?
--- Hugh Clary

Juanita who lived in Espana,
Came to Israel to live in Netanya.
Her name was too shrewish;
It didn't sound Jewish.
She looked through the list and chose Vanya,
--- Arthur Pattaffy

I'm jolly, I'm nice, I'm Virginia,
And my thinking is pleasingly linear.
If you look a bit green, I'll
Just class you as senile,
Then so long, au revoir, I'll be seeing ya.
--- Linda Marsh Coll

A young girl who was named Yvette
Took on cricket teams for a bet.
After counting her winnings,
She declared second innings,
And the last man is still not out yet.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I've telephoned Bertha to say
I'd love her to visit today
For afternoon tea
At around about three,
And she's eagerly answered okay.
--- Peter Wilkins

I've started preparing for tea
And possible nookie at three.
With some trepidation
With justifation,
For Bertha's far bigger than me.
--- Peter Wilkins

Two-forty I fear was too late
To cancel my afternoon date.
I felt out of sorts,
Thinking horrible thoughts
Of a squidgy peculiar fate.
--- Peter Wilkins

That's why, when Big Bertha arrived,
A feeble excuse I contrived.
"Too bad," she announced
With smirk, as she pounced...
But I struggled like hell and survived.
--- Peter Wilkins

Resisting of course my intention
To rudely or otherwise mention
My kind invitation,
Is borne of frustration
And bothersome underwear tension.
--- Peter Wilkins

Dear Peter, there'd not be a struggle;
Just kisses and maybe a tuggle.
You're sure to survive,
I can be there by five,
If you'd invite me for a snuggle.
--- Carol

Your kisses I'm sure would be grand
And a tuggle or two'd cause a stand.
After which I'd be yours,
Dearest Carol, because
I'd be up for your every demand.
--- Peter Wilkins

I've found that Big Bertha simply can
Put under the table any young man
For just a small while;
You see vertical smile,
Wide enough to consume all Japan.
--- SFA

Most joes run as they scream Godzilla,
Cause that girls gash can be killa.
But me I dove in;
I'd had enough gin;
Inside I think I saw a flotilla!
--- SFA

It's easy for folks to lose track
Of what's hidden in Bertha's front crack.
They say someone's seen
A squad of marine-
S seeking WMDs from Iraq.
--- I R Canuck

With Bertha, there's never foreplay.
We're screwing by night and by day.
She don't have to coax;
Just shorten my strokes,
By rising to meat me halfway.
--- SFA

Big Bertha, when out for a drink,
Can sink 'em as fast as you blink.
And when she is pissed,
She cannot resist
My pinkie that tickles her pink.
--- SFA

Big Bertha, who's massively large,
Needs dildoes the size of a barge,
Mechanically shaking,
Vibrating and quaking,
And always on permanent charge.
--- Peter Wilkins

Big Bertha, whose bulk is her boast,
Will squat on a telegraph post
To fill her vagina
When earthquakes in China
Send, globally, shocks coast to coast.
--- Travis Brasell

Big Bertha, while lacking in grace
Is blessed with voluminous space,
So unwashed and ill-bred,
But I still lost my head
That night that she sat on my face.
--- SFA

Upon the cold days of last winter,
Ten lumberjacks trekked to the hinter-
Land where they found Bertha
Had hung 'round her girth a
Sign reading: "IT'S WARM INSIDE, ENTER!"
--- Travis Brasell

And then came the summer heat hissing,
And one lonely lumberjack kissing
The ground where he knelt
With 'thanks', but he felt
Much sorrow for 9 who'd gone missing.
--- Travis Brasell

But don't feed her curry, guys, please.
It causes intestinal breeze.
That when it's released,
Causes sheep to be fleeced,
And will knock down a wood full of trees.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Big Bertha's old granny, Ma Baines,
Expired and it took twenty trains
To haul her dead ass
Though Pluggersnatch Pass
And drop her remains on the plains.
--- Travis

They thought they might opt for cremation,
But greenies throughout the whole nation
Claimed smoke that would rise,
Would cover the skies,
And lead to the world's termination.
--- Tiddy Ogg


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