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In all wars the cost is too great, A youth's arm flew past at velocity There was an old man from Belgrade, For warmongers I don't give a fart. Disarm the U.S. you impart; I've marched against fighting before. Let's see; the scenario goes -- I read with a mixture of tears I wasn't quite sure that I would I was torn, should I run or just die? There's always some bad news or other There was an old general named Clyde Five Oh Seven did not really feel The 70's divided the masses, There was a young man of Seattle, Today, there are many foul groups The Bosnian killings appal, The United States has a navy, There once was a soldier named Moore On World War Two prolific be. When the Nazis made Poland their slave, There once was a warblogging Persian, When Francois left his sickly Viet whore, "Were the prison abuses a pity?" His stint in the military While the rules of engagement ring true, Uncle Sam sent my arse in harm's way; Those brave Poles who during the War saw With planes zooming down from the sky Peacekeepers were built by the score; Every Harry, Richard, and Tom, "In the infantry more than a million Said the general, "I just adore You may think this war is insanity; A week before Armistice Day (Wilfred Owen 1893-1918)
Our doctrine in case of a war Today, no limerick will be writ, Fresh images, still, as they stun There once was a turbaned Afghani, We are from the great USA; When Afghans find freedoms beguile 'em, The FBI panic mode starts, Whenever the al Qaida flee, According to General Powell A moody assassin is Hassin; Muslim pirates perfected the raid, The suicide bomber, Abdul, Hooligans loose in Belfast, A coke sniffing dork from Atlanta To eliminate terror Islamic, A bomb-sniffing dog, "Best in Class," When you anglicize, don't go too far; Those terrorist really are thick; it's Terrorist hopeful Bourgass In Britain, we treat our wogs well; There once was a sheik -- an Afghani, Our reality is getting too stark (during 1996 Summer Olympics)
Abusers of power's narcotic Actions taken that he must arrange, Don't worry, Osama's a knave We're engaged in a frightening race In the end all the Earth will rejoice, The foul deed they've done to our land, When Afghans find freedoms beguile 'em, When flying I don't have a fear, The airline is named "Naked Air"; What religion you are no one knows?
But mankind just can't seem to wait,
With full bombast blown
To kill off his own,
Then curse others for his sad fate.
--- Chris Papa
Propelled by Cemtex's ferocity.
IRA stands proud
For bombing the crowd.
Yet another cowardly atrocity.
--- Kim
Who did wonderful things with a spade.
He built his own hovel,
With only a shovel,
But got it destroyed by grenade.
--- Tim Ruddell
Those who bomb little kids have no heart.
Bring on the reduction
Of REAL mass destruction,
And disarm the U.S. for a start.
--- Edward Leer
The stench is a major brain fart.
It's too bad your beak
Is still able to speak.
I would think of your silence as art.
--- Goin2later
I hate to see waste blood and gore.
To you that adds fuel
But lets have a duel --
We'll both win the sexual war.
--- Archie
The gloves will come off with our clothes.
Some grope, slap, and tickle;
A hump bumping pickle.
Orgasms, exhaustion, we doze.
--- Goin2later
And relief that I missed your young fears
Of doodlebugs flying,
And my neighbors dying,
But I got 'Nam and Cold War years.
--- Karen
For I thought "they" might possibly could
Drop a big nuke
On some communist kook
Because they just thought that they should.
--- Karen
Did we have any choice but to fry?
And where could we go
To avoid fallout snow?
There seemed no real reason to try.
--- Karen
That so far we've managed to weather.
But this sex scandal stuff
Or some Sadam like tough,
Sends me right to the end of my tether.
--- Karen
Who fought in Vietnam with great pride.
He said t'won't be long
And there'll be no Viet Cong,
After millions of G.I.'s have died.
--- Albin Chaplin
That the hazards of warfare were real.
The lesson you learn
From the unit's wrong turn
Is: "Don't put a blonde at the wheel!"
--- The Sailor P0308
With Saturday Night Fever classes.
Some came back from 'Nam
Where they faced the small bomb,
Shit-covered sticks, and nerve gasses.
--- Anon
Who brothers were killed in a battle;
He feelingly said,
"It's a pity they're dead,
But I shall inherit their cattle."
--- Lytell Book NonsenseP0109
Who won't stop with the carnage of troops,
But murder all leaders
And thinkers and readers,
So the rest can be made to jump hoops.
--- John Miller
Yet NATO does nothing at all.
It just sits on its ass,
While it polishes brass,
Not to fight, but to shine at the ball.
--- Warrick Elrod
Which sails an ocean that's wavy,
Manned by sailors in blue,
Who fight battles for you,
While you're home, swimming in gravy.
--- Thomas A Ratliff Jr P0401
Who was traumatized badly, by war;
In a battle now done,
Where they say that we won,
Although no one was keeping the score.
--- Cap'n Bean P0302
From dawn to dawn prodigiously
Let's limerick War Two
Aware when we're through,
No limericks after World War Three.
--- Irving Superior P8901
The declared antifascists were brave.
While they formed a resistance,
The rest kept their distance,
Stayed silent, and tried to behave.
--- Anon
Spent days and nights casting aspersions.
He wrote them all down;
He meant to astound!
What he wrote were just right-wing perversions.
--- Anon
Uncle Sam rushed right in for a score.
When Abe got the syph
From a Lebanese quiff,
Uncle Sam dropped his pants for some more.
--- Albin Chaplin
"Yes, I guess that they'weren't very pretty.
How is torture defined?
Well, sirs, if you don't mind,
It's a lot like a Senate Committee."
--- Limerick Savant
Was shockingly sanguinary.
Children saw their last light
When he came in the night;
The garlanded Senator Kerrey.
--- DC Dave
They will limit just what you may do.
So pay little heed
In view of your need,
To shoot him before he shoots you.
--- The Sailor P0309
He conscripted it -- I had no say.
But my arse survives
And it mourns for the guys
Whose brave arses got blown clean away.
--- William N Nesbit P9703
The ghetto uprising in Warsaw
And died in the fray
Are Polacks today!
Sic Gloria Transit and War's awe.
--- Irving Superior P8909
And machine guns the next ones to try,
And there's always the stink
As we crouch there and think
How the days of our youth hurry by.
--- Irving Superior P9607
Waging peace was more frightful than war.
Double talk, double think,
And atomic war brink.
We've arrived; it is 1984!
--- Albin Chaplin
Believed we could win there, in 'Nam.
But that bloody damn war
Kept sucking in more,
As fodder for bullet and bomb.
--- Gifford Wherry
Are fighting," declared Private Killian,
"Who don't want to be brave,
What all of us crave
Is the chance to become a civilian."
--- A N Wilkins P8406
The pathos engendered by war.
The shrieks of the dying;
The body parts flying;
It begs for a speedy encore.
--- John Miller
This is file fxl
That bombing for peace is profanity.
But as I live and breathe,
You have got to believe,
We are waging this war for humanity!
--- Anon
A poet who war did portray
With gut-wrenching pity,
In verse racked and gritty,
Was killed, on a field, faraway...
--- TuttaGioia
Is to nuke 'em with MX's galore.
Then a short intermission
For an act of contrition
Before we have World War Four.
--- Arthur Deex P8406
For evil has robbed the mind of wit.
When a thousand fold die,
In the blink of an eye,
There are no words that aptly fit.
--- Lims For Year - 01
Us with thoughts of the lives left undone;
Hard, still, to remember
That splintered September:
9/11/2001.
--- Anon
Who dressed much the same as my Granny.
He bragged of his power.
He'd threaten and glower,
And tell us they'd beat us. My fanny!
--- Irish
We are going bombing today.
It's annihilation
With justification.
Look out! Missles are on the way!
--- Tony Burrell
They hope that some hijackers pile 'em
Aboard a jet vessel
Whose pilot won't wrestle,
But fly to the West for Asylum!
--- Prof M-G
Because of a model dog's farts.
But strangest -- most bit:
They thought it would shit,
And swabs took from its hinder parts.
--- Tiddy Ogg
The last member out's sure to be
Assigned to make sure
That the decoys and lures
Are left out for the U.S. to see.
--- Dr Limerick 12-15-01
Since al Qaida has thrown in the towel,
No terrorists can
Be in Afghanistan:
Be watching for his disavowal.
--- Dr Limerick 12-15-01
For more that two months Hassin hasn't.
At the Can Can Cafe,
In a brutal display,
He kicked every ass in, assassin. (has Hassin)
--- Irving Superior P8407
Holding captives till ransom was paid.
Ayatollah's grim crews
In the Lebanese stews,
Today carry on the grim trade.
--- A N Wilkins P8804
Is in heaven, as taught in his school.
He has virgins beaucoup,
But not one does he screw,
'Cause his dick's in a ditch in Kabul.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0412
With pipe bombs that cause such a blast.
Aimed at the police,
One lad, slow to release,
Found the bomb that he held was his last.
--- Tony Burrell
Was grabbing a ride with old Santa,
Had a bomb in his shoe,
And I swear that it's true,
That the fire was put out with Fanta.
--- Anon
We'll send them two presents atomic,
With Medina the first
Where the mushroom will burst,
Then Mecca, for loss astronomic.
--- Anon
Once sniffed, at the airport, a lass;
The bomb squad and S.W.A.T
Team probed the girls twat,
And exploded all night in her ass.
--- Travis Brasell
Keep appearences just as they are.
Never flag your delight
With a red cross on white,
Or an anglophobe may bomb your car.
--- David Morin
Quite clear if you've dynamite stick, it's
A sure certain fact,
You ain't coming back;
So why'd they all buy return tickets?
--- Tiddy Ogg
Used methods that some may call crass.
He ground down some beans
For nefarious schemes,
But now he's just grinding his ass.
--- Jarmo
We give them PC which is swell.
Now this motely band
Bites the nurturing hand,
But they'll burn in a Christian Hell!
--- David Miller
Whose likeness to sheep was uncanny.
He caught all the eyes
Of the Taliban guys,
As they waited in line for his fanny.
--- Irish
And Western Civ's crawling towards dark.
You can only say, "Cripes!"
When bombs made of pipes
Blow up in Centennial Park!
--- CB
Will blast other guys who're despotic,
Itimidate jurists,
Incarcerate tourists,
And claim that they're just patriotic.
--- Anon
Giant ripples that some see as strange;
Motivation is good,
And the needs understood,
Everyone paying heed to the change.
--- Joel D Ash P01
Who's damned to die deep in a cave,
With all of his cronies,
While picking the bonies
Of that old dead whore friend of Dave's.
--- Travis Brasell
To get busy and colonize space,
E'er one or more arabs
Using viral scarabs
May wipe all the life from Earth's face.
--- Dr Limerick
Millions singing with one mighty voice;
Torch of victory lit,
Justice served as befit,
Gentle giant had no other choice.
--- Joel D Ash P01
Will bring to their sad nomad band,
More sorrow, I feel,
And hope we can steel
Ourselves, to deal with fisted hand.
--- Chris Papa
They hope that some hijackers pile 'em
Aboard a jet vessel
Whose pilot won't wrestle,
And flee to the West for asylum!
--- Prof M-G
Since we're flying "naked" this year.
No bombs in your shoe,
Or plastic knives too,
And nowhere to put any gear.
--- Barbara Cunningham P0203
We are friendly and fly everywhere.
From the States to Bombay,
All I wore was a tray,
And not a thing to declare.
--- Barbara Cunningham P0203
It's hard to detect without clothes.
No crosses or stars,
Or cross your heart bra's,
Now let's just see how it goes?
--- Barbara Cunningham P0203
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