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Some high-ranking American said, Osama's the latest of kooks There once was a man named Osama There once was a downtown New York, Said Ossie, "The outlook is bleak, A rag-headed faggot from Saudi A shrink at Guantanamo Bay Old Osama's now laughing his ass There's Rumsfeld, for one I can mention, There's Hindu and Muslim and Jew, "Osama," said Sam, "Is a demon. Oh Joe, you're compounding your sins; Bin Laden has many children; There now lives a big millionaire There was a young Afghan, and Asian, "You Yanks really do make me smile; In the Army and Navy the toast is: In the Army and Navy the toast is "I like men of the sea," said Miss Violet. The Citadel's gender code glitches: There was a young lady named Leedy After WWII this caused some hoots; A spinster in Saudi Arabia It went off with a terrible roar, Regardless, if France is afraid The french sure know how to retreat, A tough army instructor from Butte Each time that a grunt gropes a dame, However, it's too much to hope Those same folks had called it a reach, To GYNARCHY'S rule I would warm, A bar girl wore 38-Ds, Pfc Lynnd England pretended While she jerked on some poor prisoner's leash, The tale may be told at this distance WAC Major Mary Jones, drunk on beer, An American lady marine, Rosie worked in a war factory, "I am just," moaned a girl from Racine, She was asked by the sarge in the mess tent Just how personal should we all get, Groused a wrinkled old spinster named Hearse, She's no longer a young Irish lass. Our love and our caring unite us. My husband is talking 'bout glue; The older-type girls I suggest, We may have a few little wrinkles, Of course, my dear friend, it is true; A scout helped a lady go through A gregarious lady antique To see something quite uncanny, After decades apart, I re-sought her. When women get older they say, Aunt Fay on her birthday was peeved From eighty feet your Darling nears. (walk forward and get laid, you dumb shit - McW)
An old fisherwoman called Meg She fueled her cook-fires with old dross "As the curtains get shabbier and shabbier, When 20, then ladies of 40 I doubt that at *that* age they're sporty It seems she has reached middle-age, An elderly woman named Ruth My neighbour next door is Miss Pringle There was a young lady named Cholmondely, My grandma bakes cookies all day; I have lost all of my sex appeal;
They'd almost got bin Laden's head
In a noose. Said that man,
"He's in Afghanistan,
Or some other country, or dead."
--- Tiddy Ogg
To tell everyone he has nukes;
It's good terror-fication
Because verification
Depends on our Keystone Kops spooks.
--- Dr Limerick 11-11-01
Who suffered a serious trauma,
When his father said, "Son,
I screw camels for fun,
And you really resemble your mama."
--- Roy Berkeley
With towers like teeth of a fork.
Bin Laden may pray,
But we will make him pay:
We will catch him and make him eat pork!
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P0111
So out of my cave I did sneak.
Took burkha from spouse,
Snuck out like a mouse,
Without so much as a squeak!
--- Observer
Arabia got a bit rowdy,
So we've banded together
To darken his weather,
And change it from Sunni to cloudy.
--- Hugh Clary
Did convert to the Taliban way;
Said; if you ask I will tell
That I'm feeling quite swell.
When Usama gets here I`ll be gay
--- Anon
Off, 'cause the Merkin top brass
With Dubya, all hunker
In an underground bunker,
And finish his work, they're so crass.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Now breaking Geneva's convention,
Our prisoners right.
Ossie's sure stirred the shite,
Far further than was his intention.
--- Tiddy Ogg
All trying each other to screw.
And what's Dubya's plan?
Bomb Iraq or Iran,
And maybe bomb North Korea too.
--- Tiddy Ogg
If I had him, I'd make him drink semen
And Old Yeller there
And me (we're a pair)
Would run his ass right up a tree, man!"
--- John Miller
Watch out for Osama's great Djinns.
They'll stake out your house
Like a cat with a mouse,
Then catch you and break both your shins!
--- Anon
Are they all in old Dubya's admin?
So many stalkers
And spyware and gawkers,
I do not know where to Be Gin.
--- RanDog
Who sponsors terror in the air.
My question is: why
Such an affluent guy
Would stop feasting long enough to care.
--- Phil T
One of the Moslem persuasion,
And he said, "How come
I am in Cuba's sun,
When you guys did the invasion?"
--- Tony Burrell
You say you'll put us on trial.
You made all the fuss.
It was you that bombed us,
And you missed bin Laden by a mile.
--- Tony Burrell
To the talented USO hostess,
Who was diddled by scores
Who could not afford whores --
Of hostesses she was the mostest!
--- G0780
To the talented USO hostess,
Who was diddled and screwed,
While she tried to conclude
Which service could please her the mostest.
--- William K Alsop Jr
"They have fine points, the way I compile it.
For example, the Mate
Is a fucker first rate,
And the Captain, he knows how to pile it."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-3020
Rewards male cadet if he snitches.
Demote the top lassie,
Who found his sauce sassy,
And wipe off her shoes on his britches.
--- Prof M-G
Who disliked the army, indeedy.
She sampled the major
But this man did enrage her,
And she said that his colonel was seedy.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2159
Now it's lost on all but us old coots.
The insult was clear
Only in yesteryear,
"I see your mother wears combat boots."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0301
Exhibited abnormal behavior;
To show her distain
For the prince and his reign,
Placed a dynamite stick 'tween her labia.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0606
As through Riyadh city it tore.
Said her nephews and nieces
As they picked up the pieces,
Auntie's private parts ain't private no more.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0606
To join in the Baghdad parade,
I hereby declare
That I will not dare
Cease fucking my buxom French maid!
--- Travis Brasell
As does Marie-Claudine tout suite.
She's happy to find
Me standing behind,
To give her a taste of my meat.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Was informing a new girl recruit:
"At short-arm inspection,
No blushing complexion --
If it jumps up before you, salute!"
--- Armand E Singer 373
His chain of command get the blame,
With claims that it shows
There're just not gung-hos
In teaching respect towards a dame.
--- Anon
When generals by generals are groped,
That those who just blame
Those high in the chain,
Will focus on Slick Willie's gropes.
--- Anon
When Congressmen said, "Let's impeach!"
Apparently they
Must think it's okay,
When gals are impaled by the Chief.
--- Anon
Since A-bombs would no longer swarm.
But in instance rare,
If war's to declare,
'Twould take a new hairpulling form.
--- Chris Papa
Rather much for a Vietnamese.
So they searched her with pleasure,
And discovered her treasure:
One grenade, one plastique, two punjis.
--- Ken Melvin P0506
She, as prison guard, captives defended.
With a face like a hog,
She got humped like a dog,
Which made Muslim guys doubly offended.
--- Ward Hardman
This is file ful
Ms England cried, "I've found my niche!
Our best torture: those meals,
Which bring horrified squeals,
With my pubic hair topping their quiche.
--- Ward Hardman
(Long suppressed, at her parents' insistence)
Of a girl in the Maquis
And a soldier in khaki --
Who called her his "piece de resistance".
--- John E Mayhood
Awoke next day and shed a tear.
Despite her boy friend's urgin',
She was technically a virgin
But she broke the army rule, "protect your rear"
--- Parker Waterman P0203
As a patriot is very keen.
She has pretty blue eyes,
And lovely white thighs,
And a curly red bush in between.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0303
Making planes to be sent over sea.
Her work was a factor;
Nothing could distract her.
"It's very riveting, don't you see."
--- Tom Patton P0506
"A perpetual motion machine.
I can't help it. I must.
For I service the lust
Of a sex-starved young U.S. Marine."
--- Isaac Asimov
Just what the tattoo on her ass meant.
"You'll see it," she smiled
And it made him go wild,
"When I sue you for sexual harassment!"
--- Michael Rohaly
In our asking this female war vet.
Tell us where she was shot,
We've not heard of that spot,
If the bullet is still lodged in her, yet.
--- Bob Birch P9811
"My whole life is so daily - or worse;
Though I knew it not then
When I bitched about men,
I was much better off with The Curse." (menstruation)
--- Armand Singer
In fact, she has had a bypass.
Her hair, it is true,
Is really quite blue,
But she hasn't quite run out of gas.
--- Al Willis P9605
And foreplay and sex still excite us.
She's my one Valentine
And we get along fine,
And we have, since she got laryngitis.
--- Al Willis P9603a
A terrible fact, but it's true;
One day I'm a filly,
So young and so silly.
Next day my twat hairs have turned blue!
--- Mark Levy P9605
Like Debbie, are surely the best.
(Though should they strip off
In daytime for a boff,
They'd look better if ironed and pressed.)
--- Peter Wilkins
And hair with a few graying sprinkles;
A few aches and pains,
Some cramps in our brains,
But still get our fair share of winkles.
--- Carol
Experience more than the view
Is really what counts,
In a clinch and a bounce;
You've no need to be told what to do.
--- Peter Wilkins
A busy street crossing in Kew.
She said, "Thank you, my dear.
I was shaking with fear."
Said the Scout, "I was more scared than you."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2815
Entertained an old man for a week.
But he talked more and more,
So she said, "You're a bore,"
So the man was both chastened and meek.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
You should take a look at granny.
Sure she's eighty-four
But on the dance floor,
Still knows how to shake her fanny.
--- Anon
'Twas late, at her home, when I caught her
Outside of L.A..
She wanted to play,
But my interest soon switched to her daughter.
--- John Miller
They are much more easy to lay.
They put up less fight
In the dead of the night,
'Cause most times, they sleep the whole way.
--- MrMalo a
By the number of us who believed
She was just ninety one --
"You're unbearably dumb,"
She exclaimed, "and so easily deceived!"
--- Paul Hoffman
At every step, more old appears.
(More old, you too)
So what do you do?
Walk backward and erase the years.
--- Irving Superior P8405
Had only one eye and one leg.
The big ones she'd catch
In batch after batch,
By hanging trot-lines from her peg.
--- H Welchel
And smoked all her catch with green moss.
She never would baste --
She'd say quite straight-faced --
A trolling crone slathers no sauce.
--- H Welchel
His Lordship gets crabbier and crabbier.
I must really admit
I'm the reason for it,
For my figure gets flabbier and flabbier!"
--- G0182
Are certainly raunchy and naughty;
But if you're plus 50
And not quite so nifty,
Are girls of 100 more sporty?
--- Anon
Enough for a spot of the naughty;
Though possibly gumming
Can set one a-humming,
I'll stick with the ladies of 40.
--- Anon
Past the time when free love was the rage.
Young studs one pays
Are talented lays;
"You get what you pay for." -- The Sage
--- Annie Jay
Said, "I'm going to tell you the truth.
As a kisser and petter,
I get steadily better,
While advancing into my late youth.
--- Isaac Asimov
An ugly old spinster and single.
When horses catch sight
Of her face, they take fright,
Although, darn it, she gives me a tingle.
--- Peter Wilkins
Not only buxom, but comely.
But as she got older,
Her figure grew bolder,
A fact she remarked upon glumly.
--- Gerald Bosacker
She does it without any pay,
While grandpa (the codger)
Is screwing the lodger,
Whose snatch is all bushy and gray.
--- Anon
I must look the way that I feel:
A grumpy old crone
They all leave alone.
Like being with me's an ordeal!
--- Marlene
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