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Adelphia comes from the Greek. A little known dialogue of Plato's The haughty philosopher, Plato, A Greek chap called Aristophanes What Greeks did, I'm sure will astound; The mathematician, Pythagoras, Oh Diane, you were always an eye-tease, That naughty old Sappho of Greece, Said Sophocles, putting his X The whores by the pass of Thermopylae This attracted a host of young Persians, The trollops wore out, poor Three Hundred. "Get me back to my land, Asia Minor, The first academic was Thales. When Theocritus guarded his flock, An elegist name of Evenus, (elegist - one who writes eulogies)
Through the years have we been put upon A Greek from Elia, named Zeno Agamemnon, the top ranking Greek, There was a young man named Achilles The greatest of heroes was Achilles There once was a terror of Troy Some in life are dealt a raw deal; That old Trojan hero Aeneas Against Helen of Troy to use force, If we let the Greeks, in we're insane, That Helen of Troy was insane; Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships; Concupiscent Helen of Troy Hear the legend of Helen of Troy, (I don't get this one - McW)
Queen Dido of Troy said: "He has It's the ancient of which I'm a-telling Agamemnon, or perhaps Menelaus, Four hundred old boats sailed that day. So they carried on down through the Med, When they came to the straits of Gibraltar, So finally reaching the port, Then Achilles or one of that crowd, "Inside it we'll stuff our dear queen, So the Trojans all dived in her ditch, Menelaus, or perhaps Agamemnon, It stood there and did nothing, of course; Years ago, I walked uphill to school, When I was a boy, poor as dirt, So, hungry, I took to my bed, We could not afford, me and pap, What you did was run-of-the mill, When I think of my humble abode, There was an old fellow named Hayes The alphabet (Roman) is set, An amnesiac Roman named Bru Hadrian mourned with a sigh and a frown: The Romans, those engineer souls, The ancient and curious Gauls Caligula's steed, you know, Said Calpurnia, "Though I must render One day in the Roman arena, So though he was dressed in a rag, She flicked it with huge feather duster, He went where her young daughter lay, So life now was great for our hero. The Roman Emperor Claudius was devious (Claudius's predecessor was Caligula)
Cleopatra was so down and bitter, With Egypt in its final gasp, Cleopatra, the queen of the Nile, The Emperor Marcus Aurelius (contumelious - puffed-up, arrogant speech)
The emperor called Diocletian
It means "brotherhood"; that's why we seek
To name many a city
Philadelphia's pretty
Using Greek, to be chic when we speak.
--- Sheila B
Included some sexual credos,
Reproaching his lovers
Who, under the covers,
Would lie like a sack of potatoes.
--- Alex Heydon P0504
Would unbend to a sweet young tomato.
Though she might be naive,
Like you wouldn't believe,
He would patiently show her the way to.
--- Isaac Asimov
Went to a whore and said "If you please,
There's no way I can pay
But I'll write you a play
If you will go down on your knees"
--- Anon
An act of waste I find profound.
To appease the Gods,
They acted like clods;
Poured alcohol over the ground.
--- Chris Papa
Picked up girls who he met in the agoras.
Then back at his domus
Got into their stomas,
With the vigour of several Viagras
--- Alex Heydon P0504
And now this trick test on Thersites!
No nighties is fine
For the final punch line,
What with high teas, pyrites, Stylites!
--- Peter Green
Said: "What I prefer to a piece,
Is to have my pudenda
Rubbed hard by the enda
The little pink nose of my niece."
--- Norman Douglas L0402
To the contract for Oedipus Rex,
"I predict it will run
Until the Year One,
If the shooting script plays up the sex."
--- John Ciardi
Conspired to create a monopoly.
The girls, who were Spartan
Were lustily fartin',
Exuding the scent of burnt broccoli.
--- Ward Hardman
All desiring coital perversions.
But the girls then on hand
Could not meet the demand
Of the Asians, who came on excursions.
--- Ward Hardman
The Persions moved on and Greece plundered.
His men showing raw sores,
From those Spartan-girl whores,
King Xerxes concluded he'd blundered.
--- Ward Hardman
Where my catamites smell so much finer;
Where they won't give a chap
A bad dose of the clap;
And I'm sorry I sound like a whiner!"
--- Ward Hardman
Though his life isn't known in detail, he's
Believed to have sought
Many hours for thought
To help make his craving for tail ease.
--- Alex Heydon P0504
He piped in the shade of a rock.
It is said that his Muse
Was one of the ewes,
With a bum like a pink hollyhock.
--- L0600
Avoided themes sacred to Venus.
"While the hoi palloi
Cry 'I want a boy!'
My verse tickles the brain, not the penis."
--- Anon
By tale tellers, or will the truth dawn?
Do you think or suppose
That someone will expose
Where six of the "World's Wonders" have gone?
--- Loren Fitzhugh
Was the only philosopher we know
To reach the conclusion,
"All motion's illusion."
So in bed, he was no Valentino.
--- Alex Heydon P0504
To Achilles in anger did speak.
They argued a lot;
Agamemnon grew hot
And Achilles stamped off in a pique.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose wrongs always gave him the willies,
So he sulked in his tent
Like a half-witted gent;
Say, wasn't them heroes the sillies.
--- Edwin Meade Robinson
Who gave all the bad guys the willies.
But pity the ladies,
He preferred his maties,
Which, if you ask me, was just plain sillys.
--- Lynn Mostafa
Who liked a Patricular boy.
Achilles and Pat
Were much closer than that,
For Pat was his fun little toy.
--- Shannon Paul
They suffer too much, I do feel.
It gives me the willies
To think that Achilles
Looked like a God, acted like a heel.
--- Anon
To Carthage sailed, so as to be as
Close up to that whore,
Queen Dido's tub door,
To peep through in order to see ass.
Would be wrong, so Jeff's recourse,
With a lust uncontrolled,
Was to croak through his cold,
"I'm equipped with a Trojan", hoarse!"
--- Robert Pirtle
Was Helen's consistent refrain.
"I fear men will flay us,
I fear men will slay us,
But mostly I fear the lance pain." (Menalaus)
--- Tom Patton P0306
Concussion had addled her brain,
Through bashing her brows
Against those ships' bows,
But look how it saved on champagne.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Wasn't known for her merry quips.
When her sailor boys
Shouted their ahoys,
"Just look at the size of those hips!"
--- Tony Burrell
Said "Sex is a thing to enjoy..."
The erogenous regions
Lure Trojans by legions...
If not to a girl, to a boy!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 122
Who could piss further than any boy.
One evening a guy
Got it right in the eye;
A princess is never a toy.
--- Chairman Steve
A pecker that's too big for me. As
He's sailed on his courses,
Has he been screwing horses?
Alas, he's a painin', Aeneas!"
--- Tiddy Ogg
Of that smart bit of crumpet, Queen Helen.
To Paris she went,
And a fine time was spent;
When she came back her belly was swellin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Said: "We'll get this bloke Troy, make him pay us.
We'll sail up the Seine,
And beat out his brain,
And we'll get all those frogs to obey us."
--- Tiddy Ogg
This is file ftm
(A thousand ships? Never. no way.)
To Lesbos they sailed;
At seduction they failed;
'Twas the first time they'd met ladies gay.
--- Tiddy Ogg
With never a woman to wed,
Except Helen the queen,
And they knew where she'd been,
So they made do with barrels instead.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Their orders they checked, and did falter.
Destination was Troy,
Not Paris! With annoy-
ance their course they were forced thus to alter..
--- Tiddy Ogg
The one they at first should have sought,
They scrambled ashore,
To the city they tore,
And many a battle was fought.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Of down-at-heel no-goods, cried loud:
"We can stop this damned war,
If we build us a whore,
Out of wood, and just leave as if cowed.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She's as raddled as that queer old dean,
They'll take in the box,
And they'll all get the pox,
'Cos she'll roger them all she's so keen."
--- Tiddy Ogg
And their cocks soon developed an itch,
Of the pox they all died,
And the greeks marched inside,
On account of that randy old bitch.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Soon found a new partner to lie on.
As implied at the start,
Not a nice looking tart,
But Paris's ten year old grandson.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A harmless and still wooden horse.
But the minimal action
Was just a distraction.
The plan involved no use of force.
--- David Morin
Ten miles through the snow like a fool,
With no shoes on my feet
In pants with no seat,
And gladly ate their dirt-based gruel.
--- Anon
My gut was so empty it hurt.
And when I would spasm
Each night from orgasm,
I couldn't afford the damn squirt!
--- Travis Brasell
Put my feet up over my head.
I made such a racket,
When my pud I did jack it,
At orgasm, I was well fed.
--- CM
A shithouse wherein we could crap.
You may think it shocking;
While Granny was rocking,
We'd go dump the lot in her lap.
--- Tiddy Ogg
For poor folks like us on the hill;
In fact, it's the way
We do dumps today,
Except Granny's sitting dead still.
--- Travis Brasell
You both were with fortune bestowed.
And I envy your jaunties,
Since our house was like Monty's
Poor Scotsman, a box on the road.
--- Hugh Clary
Who lived through some very tough days.
To school he would go
Several miles in the snow --
And the journey was uphill both ways!
--- Keith Gilman P0202
And has been for ages; and yet
It could be much better
With one extra letter
But twenty-six is all that you get.
--- Rory Ewins Q
Moaned softly, "I haven't a clue
Who on Earth I can be --
I have no ID --
Cogito sum ergo, but who?"
--- Island Singer
"Antinous! Ah, why did he drown!
For this world, was too fair,
Has rejoined gods of air!"
(It hurt him too much to sit down.)
--- Vassar W Smith P9308
Wanted water to wash down their rolls,
So they built those antiques.
And when they sprang leaks,
The just aqueduct-taped the holes.
--- Anon
Had huge hexahedronical balls.
Regarded as omens
Of doom by the Romans,
Who quaked at the size of their smalls.
--- Peter Wilkins
Held public office, although
We never have been
That lucky again,
To have an entire horse so.
--- History Pun Chimera P0108
Unto Caesar, the brunt of my gender,
A few side effects
Are permitted my sex,
When we're feeling illegally tender."
--- John Ciardi
The proconsul's wife, Cartagena,
Cried out "Stop the slaughter!
I want for my daughter,
That slave. Issue now a sub-poena."
--- Tiddy Ogg
They grabbed hold the lad for to drag
Him off to the palace,
To have there his phallus
Examined by the warty old hag. ('Gena?)
--- Tiddy Ogg
And shortly she had to adjust her
Gaze, as his thing, now once so thin,
Grew, aimed at his chin.
She muttered, "I think he'll pass muster."
--- Tiddy Ogg
And many's the game they would play.
She loved forms of sex,
Like LXIX,
But best loved the Appian Way.
--- Tiddy Ogg
His chances of death now near zero,
As long as his churn
Makes Lydia burn.
He fiddled much better than Nero.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And would stammer and dribble most grevious.
But these things, though uncouth,
Were like Goodness and Truth,
When compared to the Emperor previous.
--- Anon
After Mark Antony quit her,
That with her last gasp,
She said, "Kiss my asp,"
And died from a bite by this critter.
--- Ron Ecker
And Rome no longer in her grasp,
One resource left--
Her bosom cleft--
As slowly Cleo loosed the hasp.
--- Irving Superior P9401
Fooled Caesar with overmuch guile.
Her titties were stunning,
Her pussy was cunning,
Which diverted his interests awhile.
--- G0141
Said that when we feel, it's not really us.
Yet I suppose
That a smack on the nose,
We'd have thought was a bit contumelious.
--- Yorick
Favored girls like those painted by Titian.
In war foes would fear
His attack from the rear;
He also made love like a Grecian.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0212
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