Adelphia comes from the Greek.
It means "brotherhood"; that's why we seek
To name many a city
Philadelphia's pretty
Using Greek, to be chic when we speak.
--- Sheila B

A little known dialogue of Plato's
Included some sexual credos,
Reproaching his lovers
Who, under the covers,
Would lie like a sack of potatoes.
--- Alex Heydon P0504

The haughty philosopher, Plato,
Would unbend to a sweet young tomato.
Though she might be naive,
Like you wouldn't believe,
He would patiently show her the way to.
--- Isaac Asimov

A Greek chap called Aristophanes
Went to a whore and said "If you please,
There's no way I can pay
But I'll write you a play
If you will go down on your knees"
--- Anon

What Greeks did, I'm sure will astound;
An act of waste I find profound.
To appease the Gods,
They acted like clods;
Poured alcohol over the ground.
--- Chris Papa

The mathematician, Pythagoras,
Picked up girls who he met in the agoras.
Then back at his domus
Got into their stomas,
With the vigour of several Viagras
--- Alex Heydon P0504

Oh Diane, you were always an eye-tease,
And now this trick test on Thersites!
No nighties is fine
For the final punch line,
What with high teas, pyrites, Stylites!
--- Peter Green

That naughty old Sappho of Greece,
Said: "What I prefer to a piece,
Is to have my pudenda
Rubbed hard by the enda
The little pink nose of my niece."
--- Norman Douglas L0402

Said Sophocles, putting his X
To the contract for Oedipus Rex,
"I predict it will run
Until the Year One,
If the shooting script plays up the sex."
--- John Ciardi

The whores by the pass of Thermopylae
Conspired to create a monopoly.
The girls, who were Spartan
Were lustily fartin',
Exuding the scent of burnt broccoli.
--- Ward Hardman

This attracted a host of young Persians,
All desiring coital perversions.
But the girls then on hand
Could not meet the demand
Of the Asians, who came on excursions.
--- Ward Hardman

The trollops wore out, poor Three Hundred.
The Persions moved on and Greece plundered.
His men showing raw sores,
From those Spartan-girl whores,
King Xerxes concluded he'd blundered.
--- Ward Hardman

"Get me back to my land, Asia Minor,
Where my catamites smell so much finer;
Where they won't give a chap
A bad dose of the clap;
And I'm sorry I sound like a whiner!"
--- Ward Hardman

The first academic was Thales.
Though his life isn't known in detail, he's
Believed to have sought
Many hours for thought
To help make his craving for tail ease.
--- Alex Heydon P0504

When Theocritus guarded his flock,
He piped in the shade of a rock.
It is said that his Muse
Was one of the ewes,
With a bum like a pink hollyhock.
--- L0600

An elegist name of Evenus,
Avoided themes sacred to Venus.
"While the hoi palloi
Cry 'I want a boy!'
My verse tickles the brain, not the penis."

(elegist - one who writes eulogies)
--- Anon

Through the years have we been put upon
By tale tellers, or will the truth dawn?
Do you think or suppose
That someone will expose
Where six of the "World's Wonders" have gone?
--- Loren Fitzhugh

A Greek from Elia, named Zeno
Was the only philosopher we know
To reach the conclusion,
"All motion's illusion."
So in bed, he was no Valentino.
--- Alex Heydon P0504

Agamemnon, the top ranking Greek,
To Achilles in anger did speak.
They argued a lot;
Agamemnon grew hot
And Achilles stamped off in a pique.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young man named Achilles
Whose wrongs always gave him the willies,
So he sulked in his tent
Like a half-witted gent;
Say, wasn't them heroes the sillies.
--- Edwin Meade Robinson

The greatest of heroes was Achilles
Who gave all the bad guys the willies.
But pity the ladies,
He preferred his maties,
Which, if you ask me, was just plain sillys.
--- Lynn Mostafa

There once was a terror of Troy
Who liked a Patricular boy.
Achilles and Pat
Were much closer than that,
For Pat was his fun little toy.
--- Shannon Paul

Some in life are dealt a raw deal;
They suffer too much, I do feel.
It gives me the willies
To think that Achilles
Looked like a God, acted like a heel.
--- Anon

That old Trojan hero Aeneas
To Carthage sailed, so as to be as
Close up to that whore,
Queen Dido's tub door,
To peep through in order to see ass.

Against Helen of Troy to use force,
Would be wrong, so Jeff's recourse,
With a lust uncontrolled,
Was to croak through his cold,
"I'm equipped with a Trojan", hoarse!"
--- Robert Pirtle

If we let the Greeks, in we're insane,
Was Helen's consistent refrain.
"I fear men will flay us,
I fear men will slay us,
But mostly I fear the lance pain." (Menalaus)
--- Tom Patton P0306

That Helen of Troy was insane;
Concussion had addled her brain,
Through bashing her brows
Against those ships' bows,
But look how it saved on champagne.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships;
Wasn't known for her merry quips.
When her sailor boys
Shouted their ahoys,
"Just look at the size of those hips!"
--- Tony Burrell

Concupiscent Helen of Troy
Said "Sex is a thing to enjoy..."
The erogenous regions
Lure Trojans by legions...
If not to a girl, to a boy!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 122

Hear the legend of Helen of Troy,
Who could piss further than any boy.
One evening a guy
Got it right in the eye;
A princess is never a toy.

(I don't get this one - McW)
--- Chairman Steve

Queen Dido of Troy said: "He has
A pecker that's too big for me. As
He's sailed on his courses,
Has he been screwing horses?
Alas, he's a painin', Aeneas!"
--- Tiddy Ogg

It's the ancient of which I'm a-telling
Of that smart bit of crumpet, Queen Helen.
To Paris she went,
And a fine time was spent;
When she came back her belly was swellin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Agamemnon, or perhaps Menelaus,
Said: "We'll get this bloke Troy, make him pay us.
We'll sail up the Seine,
And beat out his brain,
And we'll get all those frogs to obey us."
--- Tiddy Ogg

This is file ftm

Four hundred old boats sailed that day.
(A thousand ships? Never. no way.)
To Lesbos they sailed;
At seduction they failed;
'Twas the first time they'd met ladies gay.
--- Tiddy Ogg

So they carried on down through the Med,
With never a woman to wed,
Except Helen the queen,
And they knew where she'd been,
So they made do with barrels instead.
--- Tiddy Ogg

When they came to the straits of Gibraltar,
Their orders they checked, and did falter.
Destination was Troy,
Not Paris! With annoy-
ance their course they were forced thus to alter..
--- Tiddy Ogg

So finally reaching the port,
The one they at first should have sought,
They scrambled ashore,
To the city they tore,
And many a battle was fought.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Then Achilles or one of that crowd,
Of down-at-heel no-goods, cried loud:
"We can stop this damned war,
If we build us a whore,
Out of wood, and just leave as if cowed.
--- Tiddy Ogg

"Inside it we'll stuff our dear queen,
She's as raddled as that queer old dean,
They'll take in the box,
And they'll all get the pox,
'Cos she'll roger them all she's so keen."
--- Tiddy Ogg

So the Trojans all dived in her ditch,
And their cocks soon developed an itch,
Of the pox they all died,
And the greeks marched inside,
On account of that randy old bitch.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Menelaus, or perhaps Agamemnon,
Soon found a new partner to lie on.
As implied at the start,
Not a nice looking tart,
But Paris's ten year old grandson.
--- Tiddy Ogg

It stood there and did nothing, of course;
A harmless and still wooden horse.
But the minimal action
Was just a distraction.
The plan involved no use of force.
--- David Morin

Years ago, I walked uphill to school,
Ten miles through the snow like a fool,
With no shoes on my feet
In pants with no seat,
And gladly ate their dirt-based gruel.
--- Anon

When I was a boy, poor as dirt,
My gut was so empty it hurt.
And when I would spasm
Each night from orgasm,
I couldn't afford the damn squirt!
--- Travis Brasell

So, hungry, I took to my bed,
Put my feet up over my head.
I made such a racket,
When my pud I did jack it,
At orgasm, I was well fed.
--- CM

We could not afford, me and pap,
A shithouse wherein we could crap.
You may think it shocking;
While Granny was rocking,
We'd go dump the lot in her lap.
--- Tiddy Ogg

What you did was run-of-the mill,
For poor folks like us on the hill;
In fact, it's the way
We do dumps today,
Except Granny's sitting dead still.
--- Travis Brasell

When I think of my humble abode,
You both were with fortune bestowed.
And I envy your jaunties,
Since our house was like Monty's
Poor Scotsman, a box on the road.
--- Hugh Clary

There was an old fellow named Hayes
Who lived through some very tough days.
To school he would go
Several miles in the snow --
And the journey was uphill both ways!
--- Keith Gilman P0202

The alphabet (Roman) is set,
And has been for ages; and yet
It could be much better
With one extra letter
But twenty-six is all that you get.
--- Rory Ewins Q

An amnesiac Roman named Bru
Moaned softly, "I haven't a clue
Who on Earth I can be --
I have no ID --
Cogito sum ergo, but who?"
--- Island Singer

Hadrian mourned with a sigh and a frown:
"Antinous! Ah, why did he drown!
For this world, was too fair,
Has rejoined gods of air!"
(It hurt him too much to sit down.)
--- Vassar W Smith P9308

The Romans, those engineer souls,
Wanted water to wash down their rolls,
So they built those antiques.
And when they sprang leaks,
The just aqueduct-taped the holes.
--- Anon

The ancient and curious Gauls
Had huge hexahedronical balls.
Regarded as omens
Of doom by the Romans,
Who quaked at the size of their smalls.
--- Peter Wilkins

Caligula's steed, you know,
Held public office, although
We never have been
That lucky again,
To have an entire horse so.
--- History Pun Chimera P0108

Said Calpurnia, "Though I must render
Unto Caesar, the brunt of my gender,
A few side effects
Are permitted my sex,
When we're feeling illegally tender."
--- John Ciardi

One day in the Roman arena,
The proconsul's wife, Cartagena,
Cried out "Stop the slaughter!
I want for my daughter,
That slave. Issue now a sub-poena."
--- Tiddy Ogg

So though he was dressed in a rag,
They grabbed hold the lad for to drag
Him off to the palace,
To have there his phallus
Examined by the warty old hag. ('Gena?)
--- Tiddy Ogg

She flicked it with huge feather duster,
And shortly she had to adjust her
Gaze, as his thing, now once so thin,
Grew, aimed at his chin.
She muttered, "I think he'll pass muster."
--- Tiddy Ogg

He went where her young daughter lay,
And many's the game they would play.
She loved forms of sex,
Like LXIX,
But best loved the Appian Way.
--- Tiddy Ogg

So life now was great for our hero.
His chances of death now near zero,
As long as his churn
Makes Lydia burn.
He fiddled much better than Nero.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The Roman Emperor Claudius was devious
And would stammer and dribble most grevious.
But these things, though uncouth,
Were like Goodness and Truth,
When compared to the Emperor previous.

(Claudius's predecessor was Caligula)
--- Anon

Cleopatra was so down and bitter,
After Mark Antony quit her,
That with her last gasp,
She said, "Kiss my asp,"
And died from a bite by this critter.
--- Ron Ecker

With Egypt in its final gasp,
And Rome no longer in her grasp,
One resource left--
Her bosom cleft--
As slowly Cleo loosed the hasp.
--- Irving Superior P9401

Cleopatra, the queen of the Nile,
Fooled Caesar with overmuch guile.
Her titties were stunning,
Her pussy was cunning,
Which diverted his interests awhile.
--- G0141

The Emperor Marcus Aurelius
Said that when we feel, it's not really us.
Yet I suppose
That a smack on the nose,
We'd have thought was a bit contumelious.

(contumelious - puffed-up, arrogant speech)
--- Yorick

The emperor called Diocletian
Favored girls like those painted by Titian.
In war foes would fear
His attack from the rear;
He also made love like a Grecian.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0212