There was a young lady from Whence,
Whose morals gave some folks offence.
They were heard to exclaim,
"Oh, fie on you; shame!
We're incensed, so from Whence, get thee hence."
--- Michael Gartner P8605

Said a sweet young Tolousian floozie,
"With men I just ain't been too choosy;
When I dock with a cock,
Then I rock till I drop,
And I come out all woozy and juicy".
--- Anon

There's a waitress in Jackpot, Nevada,
Who once dated Eric Estrada.
She isn't a stripper,
But boy, if you tip her,
She'll give you the whole enchilada!
--- John E Mayhood P9805

A girl, Stephanie, known just as Steve,
Not yet seventeen but naive.
She'd go out with a boy,
She'd simper, and be coy;
She was wearing her heart on her sleeve.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

There was a young lady named Red,
Who was plain as could be, so they said.
But her boyfriends were plenty,
From age sixteen to twenty,
For she sure was a hot one in bed.
--- Al Chaplin P0303

And then there was the girl from Anton
Who all the guys would rant-on;
She spreads her legs
If a man begs;
Afterwards, she would put her pants-on.
--- Anon

Without much ado, in it went;
And soon all my bullets were spent.
She laid on her back
And took all the flak,
Then said it's in lieu of her rent.
--- Anon

Now when I saw your post on the board,
When it hit me I tripped on a cord.
If that is the way
To make the renters pay,
Then I think I'll become a landlord.
--- Anon

It's one of my favorite vices
Because of the gals it entices.
But now I'm hell-bent
On raising my rent
To offset high property prices.
--- SFA

Flo rented my barn's smallest stall
To live in, but paid not at all.
Except, uh, "in trade,"
But, jeeze, when she laid,
You'd thought she had leased Taj Mahal!
--- Travis Brasell

She was judged by a jury of peers --
Sent to debtor's prison for years.
It just isn't fair
That she should be sent there,
'Cause you were the one in arrears.
--- Ericka

Just one bounce paid all of her rent?
That surely can't be what you meant!
One screw's not enough
Unless she's hot stuff.
It's that or she's renting a tent.
--- Marlene Lewis

Look closer and you would have found
Her squatting had left me spellbound.
The judge didn't mind
Me sneaking behind,
To check that her assets were sound.
--- SFA

She noticed my bulging marquee
And quickly did move in on me.
For too many nights
She enjoyed squatters rights,
Forgetting to pay me my fee.
--- SFA

My Japanese lover in bed
Tried to teach me her culture. Instead
All I wanted to do
Was to have a good screw.
"Can we try origami", I said.
--- Peter Wilkins

She gave me a withering look;
"Are you stupid?" she shouted, and took
Out my stiffie to fold
It in double. I told
Her, "I take it you don't want a fook?"
--- Peter Wilkins

A proper young lady named Sally
Attended a big hippie rally.
She found out a lot
About liquor and pot,
And learned how to dilly and dally.
--- Limber Limericks

That Katie next door is a snob;
She thinks I'm a foul-minded slob.
"I'm not!" I protest,
As I leer at her chest,
And imagine her sucking by knob.
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young woman named Maud
Who found herself now and then floored --
Or bedded, or chaired,
Or top of the staired --
Oh well, it's the life of a bawd.
--- Isaac Asimov

A chocolate chippie named Rose
Has plenty of dese, also dose;
She shares her huge goodies
With Jakes, Bills, and Woodys,
And Peters and Jimmys and Joes.
--- Armand Singer

Remember, when you're feeling randy,
A bit of cash might come in handy.
Many others have learned
That cash isn't spurned;
It works better than flowers or candy!
--- Anon

A voluptuous maid of St. Jacques
Was betopped with a generous stack;
And her front clearly meant
That she sportingly spent
A good time of her life on her back.
--- Hugh Oliver 41a

An Olympian lass of Gaspe
Was acknowledged a sumptuous lay.
And with never a fee;
"Be divested," said she,
"Of my amateur status -- no way!"
--- Keith MacMillan 35b

A popular lady was Marge;
Her number of suitors was large.
One young caller polite
Said, "Are you free tonight?"
She said, "Darling, you know I don't charge."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0259

I once met a woman named Fricker,
Who wore not a thing 'neath her knicker.
And ne'er a brassiere
Was she ever near,
So 'twas easy and quicker to dick her!
--- Mike M TP9804

There once was a girl named Churl,
On my cock she would sometimes twirl.
I've spread open her oyster
And entered her cloister,
But I still haven't found me a pearl.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

And what about chicks that just lay
There, as you try to engage them in play
With you on the sofa.
They're just like a loaf-a
Bread, left on the shelf for a day.
--- Cubby

I'm proud to announce that this male
Would never eat bread that is stale.
The chicks I admire
Are those who perspire
When ridden real hard 'gainst the rail.
--- Cubby

I think of the night I was wed
And damn nearly wrecked a brass bed.
I gave it my all;
Pushed her through the wall...
Made damp by the sweat that we shed.
--- Cubby

A gal must be sweating in beads
For me to attend to her needs.
But lately, I've found
The harder I pound,
They no longer sweat but they bleeds.
--- Cubby

A girl from the best of society
Wasn't noted at all for sobriety.
Her sexual bent
She'd suspend part of Lent --
And that's the extent of her piety.
--- Isaac Asimov

Something else I think you might ponda',
I work with a girl I'm quite fonda'.
If she would only do
What her gyne says to,
I'd call her my slave and not Rhonda.
--- Oddo Von Schlong T9801

A lady realtor of Kent
Was bearing a house sign, "For Rent."
A handsome young joker
Attempted to poke her --
Quite pleasant, but not what she meant.
--- Hugh Oliver A120B

This is file fsl

On the road when I'm harried and frayed,
I've found one motel makes the grade.
Their Jacuzzi's nice,
But better with spice,
So they throw in a nude chamber maid.
--- TuttaGioia

You may think I'm really quite crass
But I'm saving my piece of ass
For a gray haired old fart
With millions for a start;
Till I find him, I'm raisin' my glass.
--- Anon

Lord Peter of Buckingham here;
I have hundreds of millions, my dear;
And my parts are still workin'
Enough for a firkin',
So give me your cute little rear.
--- Anon

Get on your knees, if you please
And I'll come up behind you and squeeze.
My dick in your muff;
Today I'll play rough,
'Cause I'm horny, so please do not tease.
--- Anon

I need you to take my whole rod
Deep up inside of your bod.
So that my big choad
Can explode his load
And I can scream out, "Oh, my god!"
--- Anon

Then take that tongue of yours and lick
Every inch of my throbbing dick,
And feel how the veins
In his long neck strain
As he comes in large bursts, so quick.
--- Anon

Oh, baby, give me what I need
And I promise your hungers to feed.
I'm ready to play
Your sweet organ today,
And my tongue is dripping with greed.
--- Anon

It lusts for your honey suckle;
Grab your belt, unhitch the buckle.
Unbutton your pants
And get ready to dance,
As I give you a nice long tongue fuckle.
--- Anon

Trust a female to be so contrary,
Dominatrix to the Virgin Mary!
On a chaste mission,
So our 1st position
I think ought to be missionary.
--- Anon

We'll ride devoid of perverse horror,
Away from Sodom and Gomorrah.
But expect no slushy
Sweet drippingly mushy
Lame jokeless lims from me, Begorrah!
--- Anon

Now I know how you'd come to your kinks;
It's those Rome-Irish-Catholic links:
The more rigid the rules,
The more eager one drools,
And the better the worse that stuff stinks.
--- Anon

But a saint I'd detest! If you start
Oozing out stuff for, say, alt-dot-art,
I'll be gone in a jiffy;
I do like a good stiffie;
And a chew and a thumb in some part.
--- Anon

Oh please don't vibrato alone;
Let me watch as you whimper and moan.
Better still, let me do you
And thoroughly screw you,
And fill you with muscle and bone.
--- Anon

A pretty gymnast from The Lakes,
Did contortions that gave men the shakes.
She had a great yen
To do it again,
But only with physical rakes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The servant was serving his tea,
The butler was spreading the brie,
And the sexy French maid
Was in the bed, getting laid,
By their master, who shouted, "Oui, Oui!"
--- Cap'n Bean P9912

An innocent maiden named Dove
With young Mr. Push fell in love.
But encountered much trouble
With a sore bursted bubble,
When said Mr. Push, came to shove.
--- Armand E Singer 23Aa

To his unwilling girl friend, Miss Dove,
Came the rich Mr. Push, bringing love;
Said her shrewd mother, "Honey,
Simply think of the money;
Just give in when Push comes to shove!"
--- Armand E Singer 23

Said a sweet young coed from Purdue,
"I shouldn't have sex, sir, with you.
You are in a warm niche
That's reserved for the rich,
So please put it back when you're through."
--- Isaac Asimov

There was a young girl of renown,
Who'd been had by most men in the town.
Her morals were loose,
As the bowels of a goose,
And her eyes were a sad rectum-brown.
--- G0171

There's a maid in a hotel in Wheeling,
Whose service can be quite appealing.
If you give her good tips,
She'll sit on your hips,
And simultaneously dust off the ceiling.
--- Ed Bick

I've heard all you gals talking sexy,
From studs to Oedipus Rexy.
Do you really perform,
Or just follow the norm
Of just teasing us to apoplexy.
--- S C Saint

A chambermaid works very hard
In the chambers when madam's on guard,
But works a lot faster
At serving her master,
When madam is out in the yard.
--- Limber Limericks

With men she is quite the go-getter;
The less I know, sometimes the better.
But often she shares
Details of affairs;
I stiffen while she gets much wetter.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I once knew a girl from Redding,
Who had to use rubber for bedding.
She get so much action,
(Minor legal infraction)
She needs something that will not be shredding.
--- MrMalo

There once was a woman from France,
Could be had for a song and a dance.
Those with no beat
And two left feet,
Parlez-voused her out of her pants.
--- Prsnut

There once was a lad from New York
Who decided he wanted to pork
The pretty young maid
Whose thighs, they were splayed,
And was always out tempting the stork.
--- Mimi

There once was a cute chambermaid;
We met at a penny arcade.
Ten men undertook
A crack at her nook.
I would say she was quite overlaid.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A young man from a lofty sierra
Found sex both a puzzle and terror.
But he met with a lass
In a similar pass;
They both learned -- by trial and by error.
--- Isaac Asimov

An oversexed bunny named Blanding
For payoff is most undemanding.
She says, "I well know
Sex is used to make dough,
But I'd lose all my amateur standing."
--- Grand Prix Lim 261

The two daughters of Lord Herbert Harrison
Show the odiousness of comparison;
While the older sips port
With a Yank from the fort,
Her young sister is friends with the garrison.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

"I would love," said the lady of Oregon,
"To revert to professional whoregon,
Were it not that my spouse
Would disown me, the louse;
A conclusion I take to be foregone."
--- Keith MacMillan A099A

Said a sweet young Toulousian floozie,
"With men, I ain't choosy. Do you see?
When I dock with a cock,
Then I rock till I drop,
And come out all woozie and juicy."
--- Dohpaz

Floozie flooded the streets of Toulouse
With the juice of her snatch and caboose.
A river of cream
Smelling strongly of bream,
Slimed the gendarmes with lecherous mousse!
--- Randog