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It's amazing to see with aplomb, Where once old prairie schooners did sail, With the common folk, Jackson was thick; Taxation without...(the quotation Pony Express, mincing no words, required Putting all prejudice aside, There once was an old forty-niner, The Redcoats marched up Bunker Hill. Our forebears fought ignominy "My home," Adams said, "is my castle (comment of Sam Adams to Redcoat soldier)
The British are coming again! "May my country be right all the time,' Unconquered was the West until - The Congress in '76 Complaints about that new Stamp Act What they really wanted was glue As they wanted jollies at night, No taxes unless represented! There was an old person named Lee, All of this in the time capsule placed, The Brits tried 'rule shit' some years back, A clever young fellow named Taft, Revolution that gained independence, Don't dip your wick in a Wac, World wars with so many courageous, Why'd the hat-feather dandy Yank Doodle Paul Revere said, "It did baffle me, "One if by land" and Paul would veer For his ride through the dark without fear, That patriot, Paul Revere, Come listen, my children, and hear Two lights in her window he spied; The next night for Sweet Sue he yearned. Next night, while he tumbled Miss Dawn, He followed Paul out to Concord. Paul and the P.I. got quite tight With Kate, Sue and Dawn to lend clout In old Boston a hooker, we hear, We gay boys can make Christmas merry! I heard that today is unique, Here's to Jon, my favorite Iowan; To the two Franks and Arch raise your glass; Here's to Trav, my favorite cowboy; To Peter and Tiddy, the Brits; To all of us gals in AJL, For Christmas, Jay gave May a lay, Said St. Pat to his pal, Easter Bunny, This morning I saw something funny: Hooray, it's the first day of May! It was truly a great holiday, July the fourth means I'll have cole- I was nervous when I sallied forth However, I do have a gift Greet the New Tear with hot buttered rum; "Real Patriot" -- that's my friend Maury; A new year is ripe in the making Say a farewell to 2005, "Your sparkler's declined," said Adair. Happy Birthday to my girlfriend belated, Greetings also to those who wear bras, We gay boys can make Christmas merry! I said, "Let's vacation in Spain." "With mad bulls, you forced me to run. "Miss Boobies, who lives down the street "I'll lay on the couch in the den "You can go vacation in Spain,
How revisionists decry "The Bomb",
But I've noticed, forsooth,
Some reveal by their youth,
They can't fully recall Viet Nam.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9509
Filled with travelers weary and frail,
And the past is long gone,
Bravely folks carry on
With their skiing and condos at Vail.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9509
At New Orleans that war ended quick.
It needn't been fought.
That's what History's taught.
Making history was "Old Hickory's" shtick.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0204
Continues with)...representation
Is tyranny.
By Henry, P.
Is BLAH when in versification.
--- Irving Superior P8704
Skinny guys, not yet eighteen desired,
Daily death risk occurred.
Take note! Orphans preferred.
Twenty-five bucks per week for those hired.
--- Esther Koch P0010
And resisting attempts to divide,
I have now discerned
The tide has now turned;
Racism now equals Black Pride.
--- Al Willis T9710
Who chuckled that nothing was finer
That a lady called Red,
Who would climb into bed
When he promised to wine 'er and dine 'er.
--- Norm Storer P9509
If they had heard, "Don't fire until..."
Or been more wise
And closed their eyes,
They'd probably be marching still.
--- Irving Superior P8406
Dished out by Brits taxing tea.
Colonists got orders:
Breach no Appalach borders.
Victors don't bend a neck or a knee.
--- Esther Koch P0209
And I'll just not put up with this hassle.
Get stuffed, you dumb twit,
Since you don't have a writ,
Tell George I'm no longer his vassal."
--- p9409
As in days of George, Thomas, and Ben
Let's hide behind walls
And blow off their balls;
Been too quiet since then!
--- Anon
Declaimed Stephen Decatur sublime.
"But may it be strong,
Be it right, be it wrong,
For it's always on its side that I'm."
--- Laurence Perrine P9501
Too many Indians to kill -
Until that lucky man
Found shining in his pan
Some Yellow stuff at Sutter's Mill.
--- Irving Superior P9509
Knew King George was up to his tricks.
For too many years
Taxes up to their ears,
The last straw was his tax on tricks.
--- Anon
Were frequently based on the fact,
The stamps would unstick
When given a lick,
By suck-sessive tricks a whore sacked.
--- Anon
Guaran-damn-teed not to undo!
Glue, paste and gum tariffs,
Collected by sheriffs,
Made retail costs high for that too!
--- Anon
They must be prepared then to fight!
But fighting for quim
Would sound pretty dim,
Two years it took to get it right.
--- Anon
But all taxes are still resented.
Congressional follies;
Presidential jollies;
We pay for the tricks. They're contented.
--- Anon
Who came to the North to take tea;
But they offered him Mead(e),
And as that disagreed,
He concluded to try Tennessee.
--- P8202
Fifty years that will not be erased;
Hail the green that endures,
The young class that ensures,
That the spoors of our paths will be traced.
--- Joel Ash P0607
And got their ass kicked blue and black.
Don't start a new battle,
We're not colony cattle;
Up your as with the old Union Jack!
--- S C Saint
Caught his death in a Vietnamese draft.
His last words were, "Shit!
I've been shot!" Which shows wit.
I wonder why nobody laughed.
--- John Ciardi
Sons of liberty, valor transcendence;
1812 battles waged,
The stouthearted engaged,
With the red, white, and blue in ascendance.
--- Anon
Don't ride the breast of a Wave,
Just sit in the sand
And do it by hand,
And buy bonds with the money you save.
--- L1360
Long struggles against acts outrageous;
Common folk rally round,
Patriots will abound,
In those times when a foe may misgauge us.
--- Anon
Wore over his kit and kaboodle,
For riding a pony,
Get called macaroni?
It lured young coquettes to canoodle.
--- Prof M-G
When from old North Church tower you see,
I'd been told, 'One by land,
Two, if by sea' was planned,
But the fool with the lanterns showed three."
--- Loren Fitzhugh
Into a tavern for one beer.
"Two if by sea"
And then would he
Into a tavern, Paul re-veer.
--- Irving Superior P8403
Crying out that the British were near,
And also, of course,
For his intrepid horse,
We all must revere Paul Revere.
--- Laurence Perrine P9501
Proclaimed, for all to hear,
"The British are coming
And it's due to my humming
Their flutes, for you see, I am queer."
--- Thomas G Keller P9501
Of midnight rides of Paul Revere:
He left his small spouse
Asleep at the house
And rode out to roger Kate Leer.
--- Anon
Was quiet as he slipped inside.
The two candles meant
That he must prevent
Her husband from hearing them ride.
--- Anon
One candle in her window burned.
They played in the tub --
Did much more than scrub.
At last to her bed they adjourned.
--- Anon
This is file fqm
His little wife noticed him gone.
She hired a P.I.
To poke, prod, and pry
Into Paul's nocturnal hard-on.
--- Anon
For Mrs. R., he drew his sword.
Paul was quite impressed,
To which he confessed.
The P.I. and Paul reached accord.
--- Anon
And practiced maneuvers at night.
The ladies, neglected,
Were feeling rejected;
Their march on Concord was a sight!
--- Anon
Paul's missus went after the lout.
Paul's spy sent the word
That everyone heard:
"The Bitches Are Coming! Look OUT!"
--- Anon
Charged ten in front, twenty in rear.
But for patriots she
Gave it all and for free.
She's immortal as the tail of Paul Revere.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
By dressing up like a wee fairy,
And using a boy
As our sexual toy,
More fun than a hymen or cherry!!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Attention is now what you seek,
But given your age
Get down off that stage
And no, I don't think you should streak!
--- Bob Birch P0508
May Christmas come to you a flowin',
With holiday cheer,
Right into next year.
May the size of your tongue keep a growin'.
--- Carol
May they always be blessed with class.
Though older than dirt,
They'll chase any skirt,
That comes along, wigglin' an ass.
--- Carol
May you get a least one great toy,
That's not full of air,
Or covered with hair,
And only two legs to enjoy.
--- Carol
May both of you keep all your wits
For many a year,
'Cause us gals hold dear
All of your divine English bits.
--- Carol
May someone ring our Christmas bell.
May we wake each day
To no hairs of grey,
And not is a sleazy motel.
--- Carol
But he gives her a lay every day...
She sighed, "Holidays
Makes my rear tired always,
Can't we celebrate other ways, Jay?
--- Grand Prix Lim 304
My job is the best for the money.
All I do is drink beer;
You shit eggs out your rear,
Which I find exceedingly funny!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
In my backyard, there was a white bunny.
She hopped merrily around
And guess what I found;
Painted eggs that plopped out of her cunny.
--- Dirruk
I know I almost missed the day!
But I'll fill up the nook,
By hook or by crook;
Outdoor fucking, it starteth today.
--- Tony Davie
So we went for roll in the hay.
Uncle Sam, though, was rude
When he caught us both nude,
Which led to a fireworks display.
--- John Miller
Slaw, barbecued ribs and a bowl
Of beans, and I'll raise
The flag and then gaze,
As she undulates on my pole.
--- Travis Brasell
To visit some girlfriends up north.
I was properly stirred
Just to get through the third,
But glad when I came on the Fourth!
--- John Miller
For trouble brought on by my thrift.
"I've no condom...Okay?"
Well, it's my fertile day..."
I rejoiced that I'd brought up a fifth.
--- John Miller
Lewd lims we will toast 'til we're numb;
Pagan gods will not curse
All our prurient verse;
Dominis (now) vobis (you all) cum!
--- Anon
It's something I know a priori.
He bakes apple pies
And Fourth of July's,
He scores and then runs up Old Glory.
--- Armand E Singer 504
And so soon resolutions I'm breaking -
My poor body's abused
With food, drugs and booze,
And for sex, my poor balls ain't stopped aching!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Two-ought-six is about to arrive.
May you all get well laid
By some bright pretty maid,
Who will spread 'em without any jive.
--- Joe Long Q
You fuse is too short, I declare.
Fireworks, you see,
Do nothing for me,
If your rocket goes off in midair."
--- John Miller
Who's afraid that her beauty has faded.
Rest assured dear,
If you show us your rear,
We'll be standing in line to me mated.
--- MrMalo
Whom we'll gladly convert to Mamas.
Well, you know how we feel,
And we love how you squeal.
You ask why? Well, because...Just because!
--- NealWilgus P0508
I'm Archibald, he's Bert and there's Jerry.
We all love dessert,
Though I'm not sure of Bert;
Says he prefers his trifle in Sherry!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
My Charlie yelled, "No! Not again!
It just is not fair;
Last time we were there.
I spent my vacation in pain."
--- Anon
On the beach, I fried in the sun.
The food made me ill!
Well, I've had my fill --
This year I'll stay home and have fun."
--- Anon
Will be glad to massage my feet.
That Miss Wiggley-Butt
Might act like a slut,
But she'll fix me something to eat."
--- Anon
And watch football re-runs with Gwen.
Her backfield in motion
Might give me the notion
To play games if I get the yen."
--- Anon
But I think I have more to gain
If I stay right here
With girlies and beer --
The king of my own home domain."
--- Anon
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