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My sister's new boyfriend was Beauchamp, There was a young fellow named Claud, She went off with her friend for the night; Though randiness just wouldn't quit, "It is time," said the hooker, Miss Loring, A frustrated young miss from Montpelier There's one at the St Moritz And then that dear Mrs. Deville There was a young woman called Bella, When Lady Hortensia Thrupp I arrived much to early it seems; It's there I go slumming late night Said an oversexed actress named Lou, "My brain," said this girl from Athlone, She wasn't too bold, not too willing, FOR WIDOWER - Wanted, housekeeper Mazithera Morgan is lazy, Demons? I've none I can think I agree that, on closer inspection, I know a young lady from Beavor A young girl living in Scarboro Me., (Maine) A bed-weary babe, Honey Dunny, There once was a young girl in Perth, W/F/D, 39 A wealthy young woman named Mitzy, When the doctor examined Miss Donder, There was a young tomboy named Amy In the city of Paris are wives The stylist restored my coiffure. There once was a woman from Singapore, She's eaten all the hors d'oeuvres. At the mixer, a shy girl named Jack- A frustrated lady named Fritz A lady depressed name of Twitting The team's receptionist, Cassie, Rub a dub dub, my wife's in the tub; There was a young lady named Cruller, The students are dressing like sluts, A woman's a bundle of restiveness, The legate went seldom to court. A WAAF said "It does upset me (PT - physical training exercise)
Old hippies find it a haven, The girl with an innocence glance, Tyrone is his long yellow Cadillac, She is built like the Great Oakland Raiders, A waitress with generous thighs I would love to begin the beguine There was a young lass at the lake The teats, legs, and ass on Miss Weir The men on the beaches of Nice, A lass who calls home Tallahassee, There once was a pretty young lass; Her blue eyes were large and dilated, Why put up with the same stringy sluts, There's a girl from around Tallahassee This is reason to live here in Dixie But now she's up north; It's the pits There was once a young maiden of Muncie, A long-practiced rounder named Pete We're getting quite peeved about Norma's The Katie next door is too bad; The Katie who's two doors away I hope you're not feeling too randy; A tupperware party, eh Tid? That Kate #2 is as flirty Then there's Kate's mother who's forty Kate 1, Kate 2, or the Mother?
When she wanted him, she couldn't reach 'em.
If they had a date,
He arrived very late;
She decided a lesson to teach em.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
With his girlfriend was easily bored.
To get a second date,
He decided their fate.
A third date brought a watch as reward.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
The thought gave her mother a fright.
Her girl with a bloke?
This thought made her choke.
She hoped she knew her wrong from right.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
She gave up on sex in a snit.
For the dick she did seek
Might hang on a geek,
And not in the crotch of a wit.
--- Anon
"New avenues I go exploring.
This street corner jazz
Is a pain in the ass,
And the men you meet whoring are boring."
--- VOL 11
In response to her paramour's feelier,
Shouted, "I'll change my role;
I bequeath you my hole;
And you give me your thing -- I'll impelier!"
--- Hugh Oliver A117B
With a passion for flashin' her tits;
And old Mrs Bronson
At the Howard Johnson,
Who squats in the lobby and shits.
--- Anon
Blew in to the Hotel Seville.
She liked the bellhops
To butter her chops,
For a nice little pre-luncheon thrill.
--- Anon
Who loved life just like a cave dweller.
She traveled around
By the underground,
And owned her own flat in a cellar.
--- Anon
Invited a dustman to sup,
Her butler observed
Not: "Dinner is served,"
But with manner disdainful, "Grub's up!"
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
An hour wait, I thought I would scream.
But I was soothed with popcorn
So I did not scorn
The time to see man of her dreams.
--- Anon
What I read could give me a fright!
Completely tasteless
And all in a mess
And they're all so easy, not tight!
--- Anon
Who admitted to age forty-two,
"I just love this sweet, precious
Menopause that refreshes.
Now I don't give a damn what I do!"
--- Larry Wilde
"Is my major erogenous zone."
Quite a clever idea
But the reason, I fear,
Why she spends so much time on her own.
--- Michael Horgan
And did stare a lot at the ceiling.
But once with this rogue,
She put down her "Vogue"
And said, "That was moderately thrilling."
--- Anon a
Not too refined, a light sleeper.
When employer's inclined,
Must be game for a grind,
Pay generous, mind, but can't keeper.
--- Anon G0114
While Cubby on top, humps like crazy.
She is calm and cool,
Enjoying his tool;
Her nickname is Never-sweat-Mazie!
--- Marlene Lewis
Of, except fatty food and a pink
Lurex thong that I wear.
But no others, I swear!
(Not counting the drugs and the drink).
--- Doug Harris
You achieve a prodigious erection.
Yet I have to protest
That to see you undressed,
Still fills me with no great affection.
--- Michael Horgan
And not for the world would I grieve her;
But it runs in my head
That she scares herself dead
For no one's allowed to relieve her.
--- Rudyard Kipling P8903
Left the town on an early freight train.
She went to the big city;
Dolled up and looked pretty;
Her new life was spent in the fast lane.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Said "Sex all the time isn't funny,
But the guys I know balk
At card-playing or talk
So there's nothing much else left for Honey!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 637
Last night partied for all she was worth.
Today, she's so tired,
If at work, she'd be fired.
How lucky it's Sunday on Earth.
--- Kathryn
Wants W/S/M Valentine:
40+ is OK,
No TV or gay;
Bucks & brains pls, your photo for mine.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8703
Lived in a mansion quite ritzy.
But her quirky decor
Was a sight to abhor,
For her taste was outrageously ditsy.
--- Cap'n Bean P0010
He discovered her time she did squander,
To sew clothes and cook,
So he gave her a book,
On the Habits of Rabbits to ponder.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2550
Who, when things went wrong said, "Don't blame me!
I learned from my brother,
So go blame another;
If you want a real girl, then please tame me."
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Who, when not scratching their hives,
Are waiting for tourists
Who might act as purists
And give them the ride of their lives.
--- Anon
I've had a divine pedicure.
I've buried my nose
In my bouquet of rose -
It's a start at redemption, for sure.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who thought that her life had become a bore.
So she flew off to Spain,
In a jumbo jet plane,
To become the first lady toreador.
--- Anon
Some times she gets on my n'oeuvres.
When she gets on the scale
Her heart may well fail,
I suppose that that's what she des'oeuvres!
--- John K Roberts P9302
ie had of prospects, a definite lack.
Till a helpful chap, Hy,
Fixed thing up with an "I
FUCK LIKE A BUNNY" sign taped to her back.
--- Michael Weinstein P9210
Alone in her rocking chair knits.
She know not what is missing --
But it's used just for pissing,
While there on a gold mine she sits.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2075
This is file fpl
Despairingly works at her knitting.
The excitement is missing
For it's used just for pissing --
She knows not on a gold mine she's sitting.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2350
Is often a well-prepared lassie.
But if she says a word,
Others doubt what they heard,
And really don't think she's so sassy.
--- Anon
She soaks day and night in the bubbles.
She's not really half fish,
She just worries, kapiche?
She's just soaking away all her troubles.
--- K R Swift
Whose sex life got duller and duller,
Till she sampled the nectar
Of Hector's erector,
In stereo, three-D, and color!
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0554
Showing off all of their buts.
They go to their classes
Letting boys grab their asses
And sucking on all of their nuts.
--- Bad Girl
With a passion for tinsel and festiveness;
She's ebullient and gay
When things go her way,
And that's when she's full of suggestiveness.
--- Limber Limericks
When queried, he gave this report:
"The girls there are fair,
Their virtue is rare,
They are uncommon girls of their sort."
--- Laurence Perrine P8503
That we have to drink so much coffee.
They serve it at dawning,
And all through the morning,
And then expect us to PT!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Huggin' trees and environment savin';
Spotted owls and salmon
And old lady jammin'
Their faces, not once seen a shavin'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
May not need to repulse an advance.
But if her expanse is
Curvaceous, then chance is
She's advancing men's pulses and pants.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9604
Spied a chick who was built cute and black.
He said, "Girl, tell you true,
But the fact is that you
Are definitely my 'Afro-disiac'!"
--- A W Edwards P9012
With two big and lusty persuaders.
She stands very tall
And I guess I have all
That meat and I have no potaters.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Had a rear of remarkable size.
As she swayed to and fro,
She pleased all, high and low,
And wreaked havoc in quite a few flies.
--- Isaac Asimov
With that ravishing girl from Racine,
Of the smoldering eyes
And voluptuous thighs,
And that delicate fuzz in between.
--- Keith MacMillan A124C
With a tummy as thin as a snake.
'Twas the junction between
A bosom supreme
And a tush that would just take the cake.
--- Dublew Ardee
Cause the cults of all three parts to cheer.
She's a sensual delight
To lacivious sight,
Down to and including the queer.
--- G0482
Are often quite short and obese.
But the graceful young girls
Who are there with their churls,
One supposes are merely on lease.
--- Harald S Green P8510
Has attributes men think are classy:
While some say her manners
Rate prizes and banners,
Most of them mention her chassis.
--- Norm Storer P9112
All the guys thought she had lots of class.
She gave them all fits
When they looked at her tits,
And they all wished they could grope her ass.
--- The DMs
Her bosom was over inflated,
Her ass made me feel,
Was she really for real?
I could not find a guarantee stated.
--- Lance Payne P8705
Who are known for bruising your nuts.
Wait for real gourmets treat
With a sweet tender meat,
And is rated, prime choice of all cuts.
--- Anon
Who is quite an outstanding young lassie,
Which description pertains
Not to talent or brains,
But the shape of than neat, classy, chassis.
--- Keith MacMillan A036B
Where a guy named Tyrone is not Trixie;
And the women are real
And the thighs that we feel
Will belong to some cute FEMALE pixie.
--- Anon
Down south here, deprived of her tits.
I dream of her visage,
Then mull o'er my spizzage.
Now why is my spoo full of grits?
--- Anon
Of mentality simple and duncie,
But with boobies and ass
So unique in their class,
She was eager to let everyone see.
--- Keith MacMillan A046D
Observed, "Well-stacked broads are a treat;
More than what meets the eye,
Go for broke when you try;
My point: keep your eye on the meat."
--- Armand Singer
Obsession with handsome sixth-formers.
She thrills them to bits
Doing cartwheels and splits,
Wearing nothing but purple leg warmers.
--- Michael Horgan
She walks 'round her garden half-clad.
She gives me a wink
As she flashes her pink,
And her teasing is driving me mad.
--- Peter Wilkins
Has sent me an invite today...
A party! What fun!
When she's twenty and one,
On the third of November, wahey!
--- Peter Wilkins
The hostess ain't Katie, but Mandy.
Her Tupperware fetish
Will mean she pets pettish,
If you've not your cheque book real handy.
--- Tiddy Ogg
I'll pay that young Mandy a quid
To whip off her tupperware,
Her lower and upperware,
And get her to do as I bid.
--- Peter Wilkins
As Kate #1, who is thirty.
I cannot decide
Who'd be best for a ride
So to both, I'll sugest something dirty.
--- Peter Wilkins
And looks like her daughter -- real sporty.
Bet she would be up
For a tickle and tup
Or some action exceedingly naughty.
--- Peter Wilkins
Have you forgotten the brother?
He'll charge you a buck,
If his family you fuck.
It's a business just like any other.
--- Squat
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