As we're gathered here Thanksgiving Day,
We humbly bow our heads to pray,
Thank the Lord for this food,
And what's happened that's good.
We are more grateful than we can say.
--- William K Alsop Jr

Special time spent with family and friends,
Size of turkey depends who attends;
Hail our Thanksgiving Day,
The American way,
So much eating and food never ends.
--- Joel D Ash P0411

The bird is just part of the feast;
Every dish from a victuals artiste;
Such luscious hors d'oeuvres,
And despite what one serves,
Appetites not decreased in the least.
--- Joel D Ash P0411

From the kitchen nice smells emanate.
Where's the turkey? The guests cannot wait;
When the platter arrives,
Unrestrained forks and knives,
Every side dish looks good and tastes great.
--- Joel D Ash P0411

What's a turkey without stuffing too?
Browned and moist for a perfect debut;
Peas and carrots still steaming,
Mouth watering dreaming,
Sweet yams making everyone "oooh."
--- Joel D Ash P0411

When you all have had seconds to eat,
The desserts still a real ending treat;
Choice of multiple pies,
Chocolate cake that draws sighs,
Nuts and candies and tidbits replete.
--- Joel D Ash P0411

At last, when the guests had their fill,
There is one thing again to do still;
It's a most crucial part,
Giving thanks from the heart,
For the joys of your life and goodwill.
--- Joel D Ash P0411

'Tis almost Thanksgiving again,
But the event is becoming a pain.
People expect an invite,
Or you're not too polite;
But for me there's nothing to gain.
--- Anon

We spent a small fortune on food,
And I don't want to sound like I'm rude,
But they party all night,
And there's often a fight,
Which for me, really spoils the mood.
--- Anon

Oh, eating is my favorite thing
I think of the joy it does bring
A dish with a slice
Of pi would be nice
What's your number? I'll give you a ring!
--- Anon

My number dear I thought you knew,
Since last year I gave it to you.
But if it got lost,
Please let me emboss,
It on your cock like a tattoo.
--- Anon

The grandmother said with a jeer,
"Thanksgiving is lovely my dears.
As I look and I see
All of you around me,
I am thankful, it's just once a year."
--- Keith Gilman P0111

A gentleman and his pet puffin
Ate a turkey with all of the stuffin'.
They went for a walk.
And enjoyed their talk,
And finished their meal with a muffin.
--- Vincent Torre P0207

I came to this land of the free,
From terror and famine did flee.
Now this feeling of dread;
I might soon be dead --
It's Thanksgiving - please don't pick me!
--- Anon

Thanksgiving's a bountiful treat,
With our diners so full and complete;
Devour the fare,
But remember a prayer,
For those who have nothing to eat.
--- Cap'n Bean P0311

May the turkeys be all stuffed with dressing;
May the jerks become jerky, a blessing.
May the duds be the milk ones; (Milk Duds - US candy)
And those cross become hot buns.
For one/two-a-penny, that's refreshing.
--- Hilde na Beag

Thanksgiving, the U.S. has thanked
In time honored ways SACROSANCT;
For family and friends,
A time for amends,
With love of all most highly ranked.
--- Chris Papa

November, November, November,
A time to give thanks and remember,
Unless you're the tom
That the meat's taken from,
Then, too early, you've reached your December!
--- Prof M-G

Amid all the joy, something lurky;
As sad little thought very murky.
Though we've all done well,
Today has been hell,
For many a fine-feathered turkey.
--- Chris Papa

When there's no thought of gift giving,
Just fellowship and good living,
Family and friend
To gathering lend
Good will, good eats for Thanksgiving.
--- Daniel Ford

This thanksgiving we're wishing you two
A bountiful feast with a crew
Of your friends and your kin
And plenty of gin.
It's a day meant for turkeys like you.
--- A N Wilkins P8612

The jaunty plump bird chanced a look
To see if he'd outfoxed the cook.
But alas and alack,
He's now on his back;
'Twas the door to the kitchen he took.
--- Frank Fazed

Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims' first feast,
In the frigid and nasty Northeast;
They were warmly dressed,
Though I would have guessed,
The Indians were wearing their least.
--- Chris Papa A

On maize and zucchini they dined,
Table manners were not too refined;
they ate turkey with fingers,
And pumpkin pie bringers
Were left in a terrible bind.
--- Chris Papa

This was Thanksgiving weekend
When Americans go 'round the bend,
Stuffing our faces
And looking for traces
Of leftovers, on that depend.
--- Arden

We sit and watch each football game,
(No matter if each one's the same)
As well as parades,
With floats filled with maids,
And nap on the couch -- oh the shame!
--- Arden

I don't think it's fair that the Yanks
Have Christmas and Giving of Thanks.
They have turkey twice,
'Cause food is their vice;
Their waistlines are bursting their banks!
--- Jayne

We Brits do it but twice a year,
We pig out to have Christmas cheer;
So fat we can't reach
To switch off the Queen's speech,
Then at New Years, we guzzle down beer.
--- Jayne

At Thanksgiving time every fall,
We feast upon the Butterball. (brand of turkey)
A thought which makes me shiver,
If Pilgrims had eaten liver?
I'd rather have no meat at all!
--- William K Alsop Jr

If offered my heart to Celeste,
Who rejected my offer to nest.
She then asked me why
I had started to cry.
I said, "I can't get it back in my chest."
--- James

There once was a nice Valentine,
Who just couldn't seem to rhyme.
She pulled out her hair;
Her nostrils did flare.
She said, "What the heck, just be mine!"
--- Michelle Dunlap

Red for the rose and blue for the violet,
Who'll you be aiming your valentine smile at?
I know to my puny form
You'd rather the uniform
Of a policeman, a fireman or pilot!
--- Doug Harris P0503

I searched out the cards that I got
Last Valentine's Day and guess what?
I went to the mall
And reposted them all
For the twenty-first time on the trot.
--- Peter Wilkins

This is file fkm

Some Valentine cards I shall buy,
And wistfully sign with a sigh:
To Sonia, Sandy,
Alicia, Mandy,
And probably others, from I.
--- Peter Wilkins

A friend that I know in Hoboken,
Had his Valentines heart fairly broken.
He thought: "Sure enough,
I'll sell all her stuff!"
Her nude pictures quickly were token.
--- Joeri

Of Valentines day, rants Michelle,
A corporate-induced brand of hell,
A card and a flower
Get only a glower.
An act of real love rings her bell.
--- John

Said Jane, "Oh, it's Valentine's Day.
Here's a card for me. What does it say?
'My heart, dear, you stole
With your teeth, black as coal,
And your hair that's all stringy like hay.'"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

To my crush on Valentine's day,
Here's a poem to express what I say.
"I see you at school;
Your looks make me drool;
Could you please send a smile my way?"
--- Patty P

So search if you will, for the man
Who'll hold off as long as he can,
And romance extend
To sweet mutual end.
There's nothing much better than.
--- Chris Papa

A newlywed husband named Bart
Said, "You are the queen of my heart.
You'll always be mine,
My sweet Valentine;
I'll love you till debt do us part!"
--- Observer

On Valentine's Day, here's a note:
"My dear, I would like a fur coat,
Or maybe a ring.
Oh, heck -- will you bring
Me more of those lim'ricks you wrote?"
--- Anon

A problem long under the sun
Is when it comes to having fun:
Though ladies maight linger,
The guy's trigger finger
Frequently shortens the fun.
--- Chris Papa

As Valentine's day approaches,
My mind serenely encroaches.
Romance is so nice
And gives life some spice,
Who needs a lover that poaches.
--- Maggie

Venus, not Eros, you see,
Is the preference for women like me.
Libido with haste
Is merely a waste!
Linger with passion! Ecstasy!
--- Maggie

This Valentine thing makes me sick;
A candy-and-card merchant's trick.
This stuff about cupid,
Is insipid and stupid;
All a man wants is pleasing his prick.
--- John Miller

Your girlfriend is balking, and still you
Pursue her, although it may kill you.
Valentines might just whet her
And maybe you'll get her
To answer a "YES" to your "WILL YOU?"
--- Ystap T9801

Whenever I see Valentines
I'm reminded that "hearts" are like wines,
The redder the better,
So don't you forget her,
And send her those sugar-sweet lines.
--- Ystap T9801

My girl has turned into a Miss.
My love has not turned into bliss.
I wrote out some lines
On sweet Valentines,
And now I can just reminisce.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

On Valentine's day, give her flowers,
With perfume that quite overpowers.
But she takes just one smell,
And gets hay fever. Hell!
Now she'll be sneezing for hours.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A Val's Day spent solo, I'll tell ya,
Is no way the nadir or hell. Yeah,
Alone is okay.
What makes a bad day,
Is when you're stuck with the wrong fella.

Happy Valentine's Day to the one,
Whom without there'd just be no fun,
At playing a game,
Though still kinda lame,
You know who you are, don't ya hon?
--- Anon

Things in Bethlehem got in a whirl,
With frankincense and so much myrrl.
Both shepherds and flock
Were in for a shock
When the Wise Men announced, "A black girl!"
--- Bill Edwards P9202a

To the Christmas Tree Fairy, Doc Titus,
Said, "The diagnosis is not hepatitis.
I've ruled out phlebitis
And osteoarthritis.
You appear to have acute tinselitis.
--- FCA T9712

On Christmas Day, all that I heard
Was, "Come to the table, old turd!"
My cook said, "Here's eggs,
And cold turkey legs;
Your kin ate the rest of the bird!"
--- Anon

These heavy verses need luggers,
To keep them away from the muggers,
And away from kids;
Put Scrooge on the skids,
Get rid of the Bah Humbuggers.
--- Daniel Ford

Christmas bells clang in my ear.
I am a curmudgeon I fear.
But I'll see it through,
I'll brighten my view
With a few bottles of old Christmas cheer.
--- John K Roberts P9211

They're decking the bulkheads and hulls.
They're painting the dinghies and sculls.
On the beach and the bay
Anybody would say
That it's Christmas for bouys and for gulls.
--- A N Wilkins P8801

The night before Christmas, it was.
And we were in bed, well, because.
The kids are asleep.
They don't know how cheap
I am, as I pray for St Claus.
--- Rich Grise

On the last night before Christmas Day,
The turkey decided to pray.
And as down came the axe,
The farm got a fax
Saying "Christmas is cancelled 'til May."
--- Anon

I've got sparkles up to my knees;
I drown in twinkles when I sneeze.
I might just as well
Be buried in tinsel.
My wife has got Christmas Disease.
--- Tony Burrell

Aunt Mildred, I thank you, my dear,
For the socks that you sent me this year;
And the handkerchiefs too.
I'll be thinking of you
When I'm blowing my nose, never fear.
--- Peter Wilkins

Aunt Gertrude, the hankies you sent
And the socks; well, I thank you. You spent
Far too much, you old bat,
Oh, I'm sorry 'bout that;
'Twas a slip of the pen never meant.
--- Peter Wilkins

Grandma, your present was better
Than last year's. I love this new sweater,
But cannot believe
The great length of one sleeve,
Which has smudged all the ink on this letter.
--- Peter Wilkins

Uncle Fred? You are terribly wise,
And I'd thank you; but really -- those ties
That you sent were so stained
And with dirt so ingrained,
That they once were your own, I surmise.
--- Peter Wilkins

I thought you were well in your box,
Dear Great Grandma, I fear that the shock's
Been a little too great;
Please forgive me. I'm late
Writing thank you, my dear, for the socks.
--- Peter Wilkins

I replaced the last Christmas tree ball,
'Cause one shattered last night in its fall.
The tree now is well done,
Though my ex's missing one.
All the best of the Season to y'all.
--- Pilar