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On just having sex, guess I tarried. I don't believe any of this; You have a fixation on duct, You think I attempted to dupe? I learned all those things from some books. A lonely old lady named Boyd, There was an old virgin of Preakness, A lady who lives in Siberia, A frustrated virgin named Lou A virgin emerged from her bath At nightfall Marie goes to bed To the doc, went a maid in dejection; There once was a PROSAIC prude, At Sotheby's, soon we've a sale Avoid all the scuffle and queuing; Forgive me, I don't mean to whine, A crossword compiler from Crewe A maid with a cherry was Richter, Sighed a sensual virgin named Griffin: Poor Alice who lived in Corvallis A virgin called Anna-Marie "You're tight," said the doctor, "Don't flinch; Now virginal Anna-Marie Young virgins who sigh for affinity There was an old woman from Tate A virgin of the female gender A randy young lass of Mount Barry An unemployed babe of Salt Lake A sexy young virgin said, "What A national hero named Milt Returning from rapine and pillage, A World War can't do much now, can it? A cynical fellow named Reese We once fought with clubs and with stones, The State did remark quite sincerely It's good, people worship their gods; A Trojan horse like that at Troy Regarding The Hundred Years War, So much destruction, I see Let us sing of the Masters of War "Make Love, Not War;" the sign read of Flo, A pious young girl named Laetitia There once was a scheming old plotter I have had it with all of this poop; Pardon my French
It seems I hold the trump card, Pardon my drench
In the east, the sky is lightening; Pardon my wrench
There will be no more of this crap, Pardon my wench
Where was I? Oh yes, new restrictions; Pardon my bench
So everyone schprecken zie Heil! Pardon my mensch
The scientists met and were crying; In our arrogance we have learned little; The best thing about humankind Armed conflict would be obsolete It's said that Cease Fire means release The pentagon is full of fools; The benefits really are swell! So we've heard from the liberal view, Warmongers are all nasty mothers, Let those in glass towers not shatter We're here on the net, all conversing A man had a great driving yen You may think it's a wise endeavor Our national aim I deplore -- It looks like we've won, at first glance, The U.N. is really a sham, A fickle world leader thought, Shall I The boy said that he wouldn't mind one --
I promised to wait till I married.
I am still a maid,
Though older and staid.
When he thrust, I shouldn't have parried!
--- Marlene
Do you mean you've not had sexual bliss?
You write like a doxy
With plenty of moxie.
You're not in that virginal abyss!
--- S C Saint
For someone whose never been fucked.
I shudder and cream
As I imagine this dream:
Does this also mean you've never sucked?
--- S C Saint
I was merely giving the scoop.
I'm sweet and I'm pure.
How can you infer
That I would tell lies to this group?
--- Marlene
(The kind people hide in small nooks.)
I bet my collection
Would spark your erection,
Most 'specially those with workbooks.
--- Marlene
Of charm and allure was devoid.
So her search was in vain
For a man to ease pain,
Who would help her to fill up the void.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1315
Who lived in a sad state of bleakness.
In her moral behavior,
She was a strong as the Savior,
But her strength was, of course, her great weakness.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1379
For a lover has stringent criteria.
Her standards are so high
That each night she will cry,
'Cause no one's yet plumbed her interior.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0303
Had a boyfriend who acted quite pseu-
dointellectual
Regarding thing sexual;
He was chronically impotent, too.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311
In a state of righteous wrath,
For she'd been deflowered
When she bent as she showered;
The handle was right in her path.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
And massages her tight maidenhead
And sighs, "If some guys
Knew the prize 'tween my thighs,
They'd make sure, in no time, it was spread.
--- Grand Prix Lim 340
He examined her twat with reflection.
"What you need is a screw
For that pussy brand new.
I'll prescribe you some love and erection."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1332
who thought that all sex was quite crude.
Which leads to the sad fact
With hymen intact,
She never enjoyed the life lewd.
--- Chris Papa
Of virgins both hearty and hale.
The auction comprises
All shapes and all sizes,
Of classical pieces of tail.
--- Travis Brasell
Come early tomorrow for viewing.
Of course you may touch
'Em and fondle and such,
But observe our rule 20: "No Screwing".
--- Travis Brasell
But since they'll be such a long line
Of virgin inspectors,
Could you auction directors
Relax your "No facials" Rule 9?
--- Travis Brasell
Had never had sex. This was true!
So she tried a young man
In the back of a van,
But sadly, he hadn't a clue.
--- Anon
Forlorn because no one had nicked her.
So she climbed up a tree
Where the cherries would be;
A mechanical picker then picked her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8212A
"I've longed all these years for a stii 'un.
Why even a short 'un
Would start me to snortin'--
Do I pray for a lay? You ain't whiffin'!"
--- G1561
Had heard of, but not seen, a phallus.
At her first sight of one,
She started to run,
And last was seen sprinting through Dallas.
--- G1537
Had a cunt most exceedingly wee,
That not even a bit
Of spaghetti would fit;
So she went to see Dr McFee.
--- Peter Wilkins
I can widen your cunt -- it's a cinch.
Now this pump I'll insert
And a pressure exert
Say, of 8000 pounds per square inch.
--- Peter Wilkins
Has a cunt that's no longer so wee.
No, indeed it is not.
It's a cavernous twat,
And it swallowed up Dr McFee.
--- Peter Wilkins
And yearn to be loved to infinity,
All their troubles would pass
If they'd struggle for ass,
Just as hard as they fight for virginity.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1524
Whose path was so narrow and straight,
That by age ninety-one
She had missed all the fun,
And by then it was almost too late.
--- Lims Unlimited
Died because the doc couldn't mend her.
Her epitaph
Engendered a laugh;
"Returned unopened to sender."
--- Tom Patton P9704a
Used a candle to rupture her cherry.
And she smirked, "Who will know?
Inside me won't show,
And outside that spot is all hairy!"
--- G1587
Said, "For years I have been on the make,
But right to this day
I'm still lacking a lay...
What kind of broad hint does it take?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 409
Shall I do with my elegant twat?
It's so wet and so hot,
And it's itching a lot--
Oh God, shall I wipe it or not.
--- G2550
Did never have feelings of guilt.
He assembled police
And went looking for peace,
With troops armed to the teeth and the hilt.
--- Albin Chaplin
Barbarians need food from the village.
They will eat all the cows
And several sows,
And destroy most all of the tillage!
--- Anon
Blow up the whole fucking planet!
Its better I says,
Get rid of all gays,
And boyracers and sluts and Pete Blanet.
--- Anon
Had hoped all war action would cease.
He did wholly deplore
The great glories of war;
He favored the horrors of peace.
--- Albin Chaplin
This is file fhl
We hand-fought with grunts and with groans.
Now with high-tech's assistance
We fight at long distance --
More civilized, everyone owns.
--- Laurence Perrine P8406
That thousands of soldiers died yearly.
But after consultation,
We must take consolation
In the fact that the foe has paid dearly.
--- Albin Chaplin
So uplifting for generals and clods.
When they pray as they oughter,
'Fore joining the slaughter
Of others with whom they're at odds.
--- John Miller 0358
May keep them at bay while we toy
With plans for salvation
All over the nation.
This god is one thing is a ploy.
--- H Welchel
And reason it lasted years more;
Was the Brit's expected
The Frogs'd get infected,
With clap, from Mike's Mum, a French whore.
--- David MIller Q
Has been done, thanks to God and country.
With every new war
On some foreign shore,
Makes me cry, "Please let things be!"
--- Arden
And the blood thirst that they all live for.
It doesn't take skill
To go for the kill,
But God! how they love all the gore.
--- Neal Wilgus P8406
So I said to her, "Honey, lets go
To bed and let's screw."
And damn, the bitch threw
The sign at me, striking a blow!
--- Travis Brasell
Joined up with the right wing militia.
They believe God is Love
Who made heaven above,
But now dabbles in armed demolitia.
--- Nick D Kim
Who loved to see wars that were hotter.
He hastened the demise
Of a great nation wise,
And sent millions of men to the slaughter.
--- Albin Chaplin
So I'm taking over this group.
My plot has congealed;
All the exits are sealed;
Of d'etats this is know as a coup.
--- MrMalo
And don't bother calling the guard.
I've slipped them Viagra;
It's a gushing Niagara,
From the barracks out into the yard.
--- MrMalo
The speed of my takeover, frightening.
I've seized total power
In less than an hour.
Hold on! My meter needs tightening.
--- MrMalo
Of posting how Malo's a sap.
Furthermore, it's decreed
For the sake of my need...
Hold on! There's a girl on my lap!
--- MrMalo
There will be no more maledictions,
Anti-male elocution
Brings a quick execution.
There's no way to appeal my convictions.
--- MrMalo
Das Fuhrer commands you to smile!
Go ahead, make rhyme und
Remember, you schveinhund,
Ve haff all your names on file!
--- MrMalo
"This world is so terribly trying!
We invented a spore
That eliminates war,
But sadly, no nations are buying!"
--- Anon
So some day I'll bet that the shit'll
Once again hit the fan --
No, it won't be Japan;
Some one ELSE whom we like to belittle.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is how they can reason with mind.
At times they go far
And rise above war,
But usually they're brutally blind.
--- Anon
If leaders would end their deceit.
They should offer, so merry,
Not the hatchet to bury,
But should offer to bury the meat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2214
Of tension, and hostile acts cease.
But it's not, we deplore,
A cessation of war,
So it must mean cessation of peace.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2765
Cross dressing and orgies in pools.
And we work and we slave,
And sometimes misbehave,
But mostly we just make lots of rules.
--- Sissy
We can give all the average folks hell.
Mr. Liddy's on call,
And for the thrill of it all,
He'll kill you and your family as well.
--- Sissy
Thinking laws will make peace come true.
They seem to forget,
Or haven't learned yet,
Only those who obey will be screwed!
--- Anon
Be they left wing or right wing or others.
You have to be blind
To believe that mankind
Is improved by the slaughter of brothers.
--- Anon
The things that for others do matter.
Please let us have peace
And natural grief
And forget all the warfaring chatter.
--- Narni
In language globally coursing
Like blood through our veins.
How strangely insane
When the war situation is worsening
--- Narni
To fight from Saigon to Darien.
There was no one who doubted
That the enemy was routed,
And we lost only ten million men.
--- Albin Chaplin
To end war, but it's not so clever.
'Cause without all the war
That's gone on before,
There'd be more goddamn assholes than ever!
--- MrMalo
A future most bleak is in store,
Since more funds we release
For maintaining the peace,
Than we ever spent fighting the war.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2960
But think before starting to dance:
Unless I am wrong,
It took ten times as long
As Hitler to overrun France.
--- Anon
For men's rights, it's not worth a damn.
It wanted to see a
Big war in Korea,
And could not stop the war in Vietnam.
--- Albin Chaplin
Attack my dependable ally?
I think that I will.
Go get 'em, boys! Kill!
A most unreliable pal, I.
--- Rory Ewins Q
A ground war. He wishes he'd find one
That's fairly close by,
For what he'd like to try,
Is to learn how they manage to grind one.
--- A N Wilkins P9103a
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