On just having sex, guess I tarried.
I promised to wait till I married.
I am still a maid,
Though older and staid.
When he thrust, I shouldn't have parried!
--- Marlene

I don't believe any of this;
Do you mean you've not had sexual bliss?
You write like a doxy
With plenty of moxie.
You're not in that virginal abyss!
--- S C Saint

You have a fixation on duct,
For someone whose never been fucked.
I shudder and cream
As I imagine this dream:
Does this also mean you've never sucked?
--- S C Saint

You think I attempted to dupe?
I was merely giving the scoop.
I'm sweet and I'm pure.
How can you infer
That I would tell lies to this group?
--- Marlene

I learned all those things from some books.
(The kind people hide in small nooks.)
I bet my collection
Would spark your erection,
Most 'specially those with workbooks.
--- Marlene

A lonely old lady named Boyd,
Of charm and allure was devoid.
So her search was in vain
For a man to ease pain,
Who would help her to fill up the void.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1315

There was an old virgin of Preakness,
Who lived in a sad state of bleakness.
In her moral behavior,
She was a strong as the Savior,
But her strength was, of course, her great weakness.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1379

A lady who lives in Siberia,
For a lover has stringent criteria.
Her standards are so high
That each night she will cry,
'Cause no one's yet plumbed her interior.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0303

A frustrated virgin named Lou
Had a boyfriend who acted quite pseu-
Regarding thing sexual;
He was chronically impotent, too.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311

A virgin emerged from her bath
In a state of righteous wrath,
For she'd been deflowered
When she bent as she showered;
The handle was right in her path.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a

At nightfall Marie goes to bed
And massages her tight maidenhead
And sighs, "If some guys
Knew the prize 'tween my thighs,
They'd make sure, in no time, it was spread.
--- Grand Prix Lim 340

To the doc, went a maid in dejection;
He examined her twat with reflection.
"What you need is a screw
For that pussy brand new.
I'll prescribe you some love and erection."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1332

There once was a PROSAIC prude,
who thought that all sex was quite crude.
Which leads to the sad fact
With hymen intact,
She never enjoyed the life lewd.
--- Chris Papa

At Sotheby's, soon we've a sale
Of virgins both hearty and hale.
The auction comprises
All shapes and all sizes,
Of classical pieces of tail.
--- Travis Brasell

Avoid all the scuffle and queuing;
Come early tomorrow for viewing.
Of course you may touch
'Em and fondle and such,
But observe our rule 20: "No Screwing".
--- Travis Brasell

Forgive me, I don't mean to whine,
But since they'll be such a long line
Of virgin inspectors,
Could you auction directors
Relax your "No facials" Rule 9?
--- Travis Brasell

A crossword compiler from Crewe
Had never had sex. This was true!
So she tried a young man
In the back of a van,
But sadly, he hadn't a clue.
--- Anon

A maid with a cherry was Richter,
Forlorn because no one had nicked her.
So she climbed up a tree
Where the cherries would be;
A mechanical picker then picked her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8212A

Sighed a sensual virgin named Griffin:
"I've longed all these years for a stii 'un.
Why even a short 'un
Would start me to snortin'--
Do I pray for a lay? You ain't whiffin'!"
--- G1561

Poor Alice who lived in Corvallis
Had heard of, but not seen, a phallus.
At her first sight of one,
She started to run,
And last was seen sprinting through Dallas.
--- G1537

A virgin called Anna-Marie
Had a cunt most exceedingly wee,
That not even a bit
Of spaghetti would fit;
So she went to see Dr McFee.
--- Peter Wilkins

"You're tight," said the doctor, "Don't flinch;
I can widen your cunt -- it's a cinch.
Now this pump I'll insert
And a pressure exert
Say, of 8000 pounds per square inch.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now virginal Anna-Marie
Has a cunt that's no longer so wee.
No, indeed it is not.
It's a cavernous twat,
And it swallowed up Dr McFee.
--- Peter Wilkins

Young virgins who sigh for affinity
And yearn to be loved to infinity,
All their troubles would pass
If they'd struggle for ass,
Just as hard as they fight for virginity.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1524

There was an old woman from Tate
Whose path was so narrow and straight,
That by age ninety-one
She had missed all the fun,
And by then it was almost too late.
--- Lims Unlimited

A virgin of the female gender
Died because the doc couldn't mend her.
Her epitaph
Engendered a laugh;
"Returned unopened to sender."
--- Tom Patton P9704a

A randy young lass of Mount Barry
Used a candle to rupture her cherry.
And she smirked, "Who will know?
Inside me won't show,
And outside that spot is all hairy!"
--- G1587

An unemployed babe of Salt Lake
Said, "For years I have been on the make,
But right to this day
I'm still lacking a lay...
What kind of broad hint does it take?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 409

A sexy young virgin said, "What
Shall I do with my elegant twat?
It's so wet and so hot,
And it's itching a lot--
Oh God, shall I wipe it or not.
--- G2550

A national hero named Milt
Did never have feelings of guilt.
He assembled police
And went looking for peace,
With troops armed to the teeth and the hilt.
--- Albin Chaplin

Returning from rapine and pillage,
Barbarians need food from the village.
They will eat all the cows
And several sows,
And destroy most all of the tillage!
--- Anon

A World War can't do much now, can it?
Blow up the whole fucking planet!
Its better I says,
Get rid of all gays,
And boyracers and sluts and Pete Blanet.
--- Anon

A cynical fellow named Reese
Had hoped all war action would cease.
He did wholly deplore
The great glories of war;
He favored the horrors of peace.
--- Albin Chaplin

This is file fhl

We once fought with clubs and with stones,
We hand-fought with grunts and with groans.
Now with high-tech's assistance
We fight at long distance --
More civilized, everyone owns.
--- Laurence Perrine P8406

The State did remark quite sincerely
That thousands of soldiers died yearly.
But after consultation,
We must take consolation
In the fact that the foe has paid dearly.
--- Albin Chaplin

It's good, people worship their gods;
So uplifting for generals and clods.
When they pray as they oughter,
'Fore joining the slaughter
Of others with whom they're at odds.
--- John Miller 0358

A Trojan horse like that at Troy
May keep them at bay while we toy
With plans for salvation
All over the nation.
This god is one thing is a ploy.
--- H Welchel

Regarding The Hundred Years War,
And reason it lasted years more;
Was the Brit's expected
The Frogs'd get infected,
With clap, from Mike's Mum, a French whore.
--- David MIller Q

So much destruction, I see
Has been done, thanks to God and country.
With every new war
On some foreign shore,
Makes me cry, "Please let things be!"
--- Arden

Let us sing of the Masters of War
And the blood thirst that they all live for.
It doesn't take skill
To go for the kill,
But God! how they love all the gore.
--- Neal Wilgus P8406

"Make Love, Not War;" the sign read of Flo,
So I said to her, "Honey, lets go
To bed and let's screw."
And damn, the bitch threw
The sign at me, striking a blow!
--- Travis Brasell

A pious young girl named Laetitia
Joined up with the right wing militia.
They believe God is Love
Who made heaven above,
But now dabbles in armed demolitia.
--- Nick D Kim

There once was a scheming old plotter
Who loved to see wars that were hotter.
He hastened the demise
Of a great nation wise,
And sent millions of men to the slaughter.
--- Albin Chaplin

I have had it with all of this poop;
So I'm taking over this group.
My plot has congealed;
All the exits are sealed;
Of d'etats this is know as a coup.

Pardon my French
--- MrMalo

It seems I hold the trump card,
And don't bother calling the guard.
I've slipped them Viagra;
It's a gushing Niagara,
From the barracks out into the yard.

Pardon my drench
--- MrMalo

In the east, the sky is lightening;
The speed of my takeover, frightening.
I've seized total power
In less than an hour.
Hold on! My meter needs tightening.

Pardon my wrench
--- MrMalo

There will be no more of this crap,
Of posting how Malo's a sap.
Furthermore, it's decreed
For the sake of my need...
Hold on! There's a girl on my lap!

Pardon my wench
--- MrMalo

Where was I? Oh yes, new restrictions;
There will be no more maledictions,
Anti-male elocution
Brings a quick execution.
There's no way to appeal my convictions.

Pardon my bench
--- MrMalo

So everyone schprecken zie Heil!
Das Fuhrer commands you to smile!
Go ahead, make rhyme und
Remember, you schveinhund,
Ve haff all your names on file!

Pardon my mensch
--- MrMalo

The scientists met and were crying;
"This world is so terribly trying!
We invented a spore
That eliminates war,
But sadly, no nations are buying!"
--- Anon

In our arrogance we have learned little;
So some day I'll bet that the shit'll
Once again hit the fan --
No, it won't be Japan;
Some one ELSE whom we like to belittle.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The best thing about humankind
Is how they can reason with mind.
At times they go far
And rise above war,
But usually they're brutally blind.
--- Anon

Armed conflict would be obsolete
If leaders would end their deceit.
They should offer, so merry,
Not the hatchet to bury,
But should offer to bury the meat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2214

It's said that Cease Fire means release
Of tension, and hostile acts cease.
But it's not, we deplore,
A cessation of war,
So it must mean cessation of peace.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2765

The pentagon is full of fools;
Cross dressing and orgies in pools.
And we work and we slave,
And sometimes misbehave,
But mostly we just make lots of rules.
--- Sissy

The benefits really are swell!
We can give all the average folks hell.
Mr. Liddy's on call,
And for the thrill of it all,
He'll kill you and your family as well.
--- Sissy

So we've heard from the liberal view,
Thinking laws will make peace come true.
They seem to forget,
Or haven't learned yet,
Only those who obey will be screwed!
--- Anon

Warmongers are all nasty mothers,
Be they left wing or right wing or others.
You have to be blind
To believe that mankind
Is improved by the slaughter of brothers.
--- Anon

Let those in glass towers not shatter
The things that for others do matter.
Please let us have peace
And natural grief
And forget all the warfaring chatter.
--- Narni

We're here on the net, all conversing
In language globally coursing
Like blood through our veins.
How strangely insane
When the war situation is worsening
--- Narni

A man had a great driving yen
To fight from Saigon to Darien.
There was no one who doubted
That the enemy was routed,
And we lost only ten million men.
--- Albin Chaplin

You may think it's a wise endeavor
To end war, but it's not so clever.
'Cause without all the war
That's gone on before,
There'd be more goddamn assholes than ever!
--- MrMalo

Our national aim I deplore --
A future most bleak is in store,
Since more funds we release
For maintaining the peace,
Than we ever spent fighting the war.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2960

It looks like we've won, at first glance,
But think before starting to dance:
Unless I am wrong,
It took ten times as long
As Hitler to overrun France.
--- Anon

The U.N. is really a sham,
For men's rights, it's not worth a damn.
It wanted to see a
Big war in Korea,
And could not stop the war in Vietnam.
--- Albin Chaplin

A fickle world leader thought, Shall I
Attack my dependable ally?
I think that I will.
Go get 'em, boys! Kill!
A most unreliable pal, I.
--- Rory Ewins Q

The boy said that he wouldn't mind one --
A ground war. He wishes he'd find one
That's fairly close by,
For what he'd like to try,
Is to learn how they manage to grind one.
--- A N Wilkins P9103a