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Frustrated, No Hung shaved his pubes They now live together in Ho; If on your mind is Jasmine Leaf's beaver; Ho Fuk's extra-marital bonk Now Conk (who's the favourite daughter) The restaurant, famous for glass- She wiggles her cute little bum In the dark slips Jasmine the tongue; Now Ho Fuk keeps his ear to the walls; But the menu lists, Yung Poon Tang; Yes I took Lotus Flower, alias Conk; Yes I tried Lotus Flower Lychee; Ho Fuk Yu Lychee wonders why; A Chinese chef, known as Cookie, One evening while eating Chinese, A gourmet in downtown Butte, no less, In a Chinatown eatery, Dutch If you're going to cook on a WOK, When husband cooks food in a WOK, While in China my folks were agog Keep your fence sturdy, throughout; French chefs'll submit in their blogs, At our county fair, Asian Chef Lauk "Hey garcon! Vous recommend horse?" This plate is a true Ratatouille; So sweat your courgettes till they're dewy, Red peppers and aubergines bluey Mais qu'est-ce ce c'est que ce bruit? A greety young fellow named Wrench N. Bonaparte's life yarns were spun At Cordon Bleu, Charlotte named Glaze, The Coq au Vin bistro's okay; A greedy young fellow called Wrench A young femme fatale named Diane, Lie down and relax right here, sweet. Think tossing a pancake's a jape? A handsome young cowboy named Dude A home-on-the-range chef, Pierre, There once was a German named Fritz, My Charlie's not only good-lookin', The French are not known for their pies, A young man from near Milton Keynes, "It is curious how the world's planners To the French our cuisine is a joke. Said the Master French Chef, Julia Child, Don't vichysoisse me with no France; And don't speak of food from the French. I've booked us a table for two But this time, please wait 'til I've eaten "My omelets are fluffy, not tough," Said a famous French chef, Jean Maloff, There was a French chef named Tony, Here Pierre the French chef rests his head, A French chef named Francois LaFaire Now we're older and don't care a toss The cave person would never bewail I was served escargot, but I couldn't; My god, this souffle is supreme! There was a young lady from Cork There was an old woman from Wales There was a young abbess, too boisterous, If you give, to a hungry Frank, poissons, Said a herring one day to a sole, The meal that you've fed me this eve? What language was this written in? Roberto's a fine young Italian, Lasagna's the best - can't beat it,
And took hormones to grow his own boobs
Then he sliced off his meat;
Transformation complete
Though, his business went right down the tubes.
--- Anon
Fuk Yu's scullery rolling out dough,
Which they make into noodles
And feed to the poodles,
To help make their testicles grow.
--- Anon
Then duck Ho Fuk and his cleaver;
Give your Willie the best,
Let it rise from it's rest,
And give her your own beaver cleaver.
--- Anon
With his cousin Yu Fuk Me-Ann Honk
Led inevitably
To another Lychee,
Name of Lotus Flower; alias Conk.
--- Anon
Would like her proboscis made shorter,
But fortunately
For Ho Fuk Yu Lychee
She can snorkel for hours under water.
--- Anon
Sided tanks full of lobster and bass,
Serves the freshest of fish;
If you fancy a dish,
Just ask Conk to dive in; it's a gas.
--- Anon
In the air and with finger and thumb
She grabs hold of a trout
Or a lobster; comes out
And cooks wonderfully tasty dim sum.
--- Anon
Make sure it's not sis, Wai Tu Yung;
Get it puffy and slick,
And ready for your plick,
With a rhythmic clitoral strum.
--- Anon
Just to catch you and lop-off your balls;
So you gotta be slick,
Get in and out quick,
And don't moan, it echoes down halls.
--- Anon
My favorite compliment for the Wang;
Slip it in, outta sight,
They serve it up, nice n' tight,
It's the appetizer served with a bang.
--- Anon
In the restroom for a quick bonk;
My wang got all slick,
She cried, "Yu Cum Quik",
"So, you bobo I not have to honk".
--- Anon
It was as tasty a dish as can be;
Her tits were all pouty,
True chinee takee outee,
Next time, I'll try Chik Goo Wee.
--- Anon
Hu (his brother), had sex with Di;
They co-habitate in reeds,
The welcome mat reads:
Welcome! Ho Fuk, Hu and Di.
--- Anon
Teach new Chinese chef, rookie Cookie.
Bickie, or biscuit, all same fortune cookie,
Eat fortune cookie, promise big nookie,
Cookie lookee for lucky rookie cookie. Fuckee!!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I spilled Sweet and Sour on my knees.
My trousers exploded;
My socks were corroded;
I went home in a pair of lychees.
--- Bill Wall
Vowed that now his meals would be tofu-less.
"The smell is not savory,
The taste is not flavory,
And the sight is positively scrofulous.
--- Bruce Thompson
Told the waiter, "This dinner is such
That the salad's like shrubbery,
And the chicken is rubbery."
And the waiter said, "Thanks berry much!"
--- Hugh Clary
Learn to keep your eye on the clock.
Food gets done in a flash;
Overcooked it is hash;
Take it from me, an old WOK jock.
--- Norm Brust
His efforts I don't want to knock,
But the recipe book,
He gives not a look.
So I go outside for a walk.
--- Elois
When they first heard this strange dialog:
"Did you go to the store?"
"No, I'll go about four.
And after, I must wok the dog."
--- Al Willis a
Keep your dog so he cannot get out.
For a pup that runs free
May turn out to be
The "Special" at Chinese take-out!
--- Pikelmeister TP9806
The best ways for you to cook frogs;
But now Ebay sells
Chinese cook book that tells
"Ninety-Nine Ways To Wok Your Dogs."
--- David Miller
At a challenge just never did balk.
Bean sprouts and Bok Choy
He'd stir in sauce, Soy.
And each year won first prize in a Wok.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9807
"Naturellement; ze chef's tour de force.
Whole or half? l'orange?"
"Je suis faim; I will mange
A complete one." "Hors d'oeuvres?" "Of course."
--- Anon
And who says French cooking is hooey?
It still has the edge
On Angleterre's veg;
Ha ha! et a bas le chou bouilli!
--- Gina Berkeley
(For l'eau is the foe of celui),
While, golden in huile,
As tomatoes you peel,
Your chopped onions fry free of ennui!
--- Gina Berkeley
You stew in fragrantio sui,
And add a last sigh
Of estragon and ail,
As you lie on the floor with the Pouilly...
--- Gina Berkeley
Le rest du repas n'est pas cu-it --
But the guests on the mat
At the door of the flat
Go ratatatatatatouille!
--- Gina Berkeley
Owned a cat, two small dogs, and a tench.
One day, in a trice,
He cooked them with rice,
And called the dish something in French.
--- Michael Palin
As to food he considered most "fun".
It is said he'd fandango
With Poulet Marengo,
But would not waltz with Boeuf Wellington.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh
Makes hors d'oevres which truly amaze.
The men in her classes,
Not only make passes,
She gives the all straight bordelaise.
--- Anon
The food is delicious, I say.
It's served by a wench
Who's half Spanish and French,
But I'll stick with a cafe - Ole'.
--- Peter Wilkins
Owned a cat, two small dogs, and a tench.
One day, in a trice,
He cooked them with rice
And called the dish something in French.
--- Michael Palin
This is file fdm
Said, out on the road with her man,
"Though eating your pud
In a car's pretty good,
There's nothing quite like coq au vin."
--- Anon
Shed your shoes and I'll rub your feet.
If you doze perchance,
Then dream of France,
And the coq et palourde we will eat...
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Take heed from poor Timothy's scrape...
He tossed one and now
He's in prison I vow,
For Suzette has accused him of crepe.
--- Peter Wilkins
Just cannot abide some French food;
Too prissy, offensive,
And so darned expensive;
Like his women, his grub should be crude!
--- Mark Levy P0211
While making his famous eclair,
The insides perverted;
A hot dog inserted
And now, France's first billionaire.
--- Irving Superior P9901
Who holidayed out in Biarritz,
He came up from the scene
And the fine French cuisine,
And came down with a case of the shits.
--- Graham Lester
She's mastered the art of French cookin'.
She's beyond compare,
The men stop and stare;
Too bad guys, she's already tooken!
--- Observer
Their airplanes, their athletes, their spies;
And don't they succeed
In the one thing we need:
Those hot salty jumbo French fries!
--- Mark Levy P0211
Was into some strange kinky scenes.
He'd stand on his head,
Take a loaf of French bread...
I think we all know what that means.
--- Bill Wall
Arranged things," observed Mr. Hanners.
"The French grossly rude
Have marvelous food,
While the English have fine table manners."
--- A N Wilkins P8605
They dismiss us as primitive folk.
And forget we're unique in
(Gastronomically speakin')
Kentucky Fried Chicken and Coke.
--- Hugh Oliver A136A
"By pate de foie gras I'm beguiled
And that Cordon Bleu
Is tres bien too,
But a burger and fries drive me wild!"
--- Loren Fitzhugh P9205
All them Froggys in swishy-ass pants.
Their manhood degraded,
Being often invaded
By Germans. Those great bon vivants.
--- Anon
I do not think I could stand the stench.
Before I'd eat a frog,
I'd eat worms or a dog.
I just throw the French bread in a trench.
--- Anon
At the "Coq au Vin" bistro we knew,
When we last went to France
And I whipped off your pants,
'Cause you said that you needed a screw.
--- Anon
My oysters 'fore raisin' the heatin';
And please don't be coarse
While we wait for our horse-
Steak by shouting, "Hey Dude! Get yer meat in!"
--- Anon
Said Henri, the chef at Le Boeuf.
"I blend them with cheese;
They're light as a breeze,
And only one egg is an oeuf."
--- Barbara
"Though my omelets are tiny and tough,
Let the customers beg,
For more than one egg;
For a Frenchman, one egg is un oeuf."
--- Anon
Whose gourmet credentials were phony.
When the menu would boast
Of his pate on toast,
It was realy just cheese and baloney.
--- Portia Little P0212
Whose 'potage a la tortue' has fed
Connoisseurs and gourmets,
All loud in his praise.
"The Great Pan," they lament now, "is dead."
--- A N Wilkins P8702
Used to promenade down by La Mer,
Where he'd drag an old quiche
On the end of a leash,
Or sometimes some fried pomme de terre.
--- Norm Storer
For new culture; "It's nothing but dross"
It strikes me that French
Cuisine; it would wrench
The poor cave man, who'd be at a loss.
--- Doug Harris P0511Q
The French menu, nor would he assail
Their lack of hygiene
Or their manners obscene,
Rooting truffles and sucking a snail.
--- Arthur Deex P0511Q
The pate de foie gras, I just wouldn't.
But the pretty young wench
Who was, in fact, French,
Just loved to eat things that she shouldn't.
--- Jerry Nordal P0211
It makes me aroused for a ream!
I'll poke it right here...
Now don't that feel queer...
You've cooked in a filling of cream!
--- Anon
Who tackled her soup with a fork.
When her parents looked pained,
She proudly exclaimed,
"That's the way they eat soup in New York."
--- Ogden Nash
Who liked eating red dragon tails.
Then she went to Maxim's
And today she just dreams
Of dining on truffles and snails.
--- Warrick Elrod
Who was sent off posthaste from the cloisters.
She poured vichyssoise
On the salade nicoise,
And Bavarian cream on the oysters.
--- Anon
There'll be hunger on the morrow's horizons.
But if you teach that elf
To poisson himself,
His future's wine, sushi, and croissants.
--- Arthur Deex P0211
"Life's very unfair, 'pon my shoal!
While I'm stark on a slab,
You will be with crab,
Billed in French at the Ritz-Metropole."
--- Stanley Sharpless
Best I've ever had, I believe.
You, wearing bikini,
While serving linguini
Has really perked up your reprieve.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is it a low-class Italian?
It makes no sense to me,
Maybe to Chef Boy-Ar-Dee;
Was it anything to do with foreskin?
--- Anon
He's truly hung like a stallion.
He eats pasta all day,
But at night we will play
With his wonderful, glistening medallion.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But just remember to eat it.
'Cause he who hasta
Forget the pasta,
Will be condemned to reheat it.
--- Anon
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