No matter how hard I may try, The bitter-sweet taste, aigre-doux, Tonight with a lover Divine, Amazing how sweet is ambrosia; The food of the Gods is ambrosia; Three times over three is ambrosia; It seems you enjoy this ambrosia, I wandered through fields of ambrosia; (Ambrosia is canned rice pudding in UK)
In America, ambrosia's food too, There was an old woman named Jenny A banana frozen and dipped What sends the girls ass over tits A soda jerk told me his dream Said prim and correct Aunty Nelly: The contents of a standard black pud Black pudding is food for a king; Of food that is sexy, I think Blancmange is a creamy white pudding, A lively young fellow named Kelly, "This jelly's to sloppy", said Shelley, A girl from Madrid cried, "Ole!" It's uncivil, it's rude, it is bold, Our Dorothy's got all of them, Mum, You spoiled-rotten whiney small brat! We bought cream cakes and a bun We bought cream cakes and a bun We bought cream cakes and a bun We bought cream cakes and a bun We bought cream cakes and a bun We bought cream cakes and a bun We bought cream cakes and a bun The baker said, "In some fresh crumpet, Crepes -- they are such fun to eat;
This is file fbm
Not much of a cook is Ms. Brand; When Caroline's mother made custard, O poor ice cream vendor Joe Brand, Here's marshmallow Fluffy (it's white) A pox on those soggy old cakes, From her infection, she takes all the yeast There once was a silly young maid, On New Year's Day in Alabam', "And how many lumps do you take?", To the Brit from the Isles of the Sunny, They've put in a new ice cream store They've vanilla with warm chocolate goo I tell you, if I'm gonna sin, I've had some strange dreams in my time, But You should know Key Lime Pie The lime that is grown on a Key The filling you make from Key Lime Though I make my own filling from scratch, When making banana cake, Joel There once was a fellow named Pete From the time we were threatened by Scuds, Every thought in his head was "Gourmet;" There was a young fellow from Nome A plum brought to mind food that's good. You needn't go sound the alert. There is a young teacher called Valerie, There is one thing that men get all sweaty for, First sprinkle with grated iced ghee, A fine chef was Pierre the poodle; You won't guess what I keep in my wellies: Ding Dongs, Crispy Cremes, and eclairs; Rhubarb is much better in pies; We would just wipe it off and chew, There once was a housewife of Chard
I cannot conceive of a pie
Full of blackbirds who sing,
When they're baked in the thing,
Or of filling a pocket with rye.
--- Lims Unlimited
Is passable in a French roux,
But it is a mistake
To eat aigre-doux cake,
So don't you be too eager to.
--- Anon
I sat and ate cherries and wine.
So fast was the pace,
I was almost disgraced,
But like ice cream, it all came out fine.
--- Mischief
Its glorious taste simply throws ya.
It smacks both your lips,
Demands more than sips,
And pounds as it paddles and rows ya.
--- Matthew Montchalin
It quickens your beat and then blows ya.
From Heaven descended,
By angels its blended;
It shows what it does when it knows ya.
--- Matthew Montchalin
It gives what it takes to engross ya;
Three mystical sips,
A slip and two skips,
And then with a hug it just holds ya.
--- Matthew Montchalin
'Cause she quickens your beat and then blows ya;
You should offer her nectar
From Hector Erector,
To store in a southern exposure.
--- Hugh Clary
The gooey stuff squelched 'twixt my toes. Ya
May join me if rice
Is your fetish or vice;
Lay down so the substance enfolds ya.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But tastier than your rice goo.
'Tis a mixture of fruit
And coconut to boot,
And it sure makes me visit the loo!
--- Liam na Baeg
Who sold custard pies for a penny.
She lost ha'pence a pie,
And it puzzled her why,
When evey day she sold so many.
--- Warrick Elrod
In chocolate topping, she nipped
From out of the case
As if in a race,
Then topped if with sweet cream, well whipped.
--- Anon
About Angelo's banana splits,
Is not that they're long,
And shaped like his dong,
It's the taste of his cream on their lips.
--- Michael Horgan
Of smearing his cock with whipped cream.
He adds two nuts hairy,
Then tops with a cherry,
And calls it banana supreme.
--- David Miller
"I've eaten to much of that jelly.
I can hardly conceal
How embarrassed I feel,
When I say I've a pain in my stomach.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Are oftentimes misunderstood.
It doesn't have crud
Like menstrual blood;
Some people think just that it should.
--- Donald McGill
These delectable sausages wring
All the best from the pig.
Though there's always some prig
Who objects to the whole bloody thing.
--- Rory Ewins
That blancmange is my favorite kink;
And the last one I boffed
Was amazingly soft,
And so wondrously squelchy and pink.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Into which your thing, don't be putting.
Instead let it swell;
Get a pastry shell
To fill with your own cream -- that's gooding!
--- Arden
Got an awful sad ache in his belly.
His wife in her haste,
Had served him up paste,
Instead of blancmange and jelly.
--- 500 Irish Jokes & Lims
"It's too thin to go in my belly.
There's two things I like firm,
You obsequious worm,
And one of them, mate, is my jelly."
--- David Miller
As creme he shot forth in a spray...
"Senor," she then said,
"I prefer warmer head..
Next time, could we have it brulee?"
--- Anon
For a microbe to mate when it's cold;
But the ones Lister found
Will fuck even ice-bound,
So be cautious where soft-serve is sold.
--- Jilber
And won't share them out, even some.
The cookies are mine;
I'm starting to whine --
So give me a cookie, Dot, come!
--- Archie
These cookies are mine and that's that!
Keep your hands to yourself,
You perverted old elf
Or I'm telling Mom 'bout the cat!
--- Dorothy
For a picnic out in the sun.
She drank cups of tea,
From twelve until three
And never offered me one.
--- Arthur Deex P0510Q
For a picnic out in the sun.
She downed sorbet quite fast,
From twelve till half past
And never offered me one.
--- Arthur Deex P0510Q
For a picnic out in the sun.
She swilled foamy brew,
From one until two
And never offered me one.
--- Arthur Deex P0510Q
For a picnic out in the sun.
She partook albacore,
From three until four
And never offered me one.
--- Arthur Deex P0510Q
For a picnic out in the sun.
She had truffle with chive,
From four until five
And never offered me one.
--- Arthur Deex P0510Q
For a picnic out in the sun.
She nibbled fish sticks,
From five until six
And never offered me one.
--- Arthur Deex P0510Q
For a picnic out in the sun.
She chewed bread without leaven,
From six until seven
And never offered me one.
--- Arthur Deex P0510Q
I'll place my whipped cream covered strumpet!
Then eat a small part
Of the Portuguese Tart,
And Mom's Apple Pie 'fore I hump it.
--- David Miller
Filled with soft cream, can't be beat.
Topped with strawberry.
Sweet? Oh yes, very;
Juicy and ripe for your meat.
--- Arden
Her recipes get out of hand;
Her pumpkin pies stink;
The fillings all sink;
It's what she calls Custard's Last Stand.
--- Armand E Singer 873
She started to get a bit flustered.
Her daughter said "What
You got's not what you thought.
Put your specs on, the label says 'mustard'."
--- Funfax Limericks
His softserve's not frozen as planned;
August's God-awful heat
Can fry eggs in the street;
He calls it his custard's last stand.
--- Armand Singer P0310
And Pet milk for coffee delight.
So don't be a bumpkin
Who only eats pumpkin,
There's way too much here for one bite.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With candied delights and tooth-aches.
Though some of them come
Well-bathed in dark rum,
And squeezing them some talent takes.
--- Chris Papa
Which she uses to make a good feast
Of gingerbread men,
Which you may eat when
You pick out your choice from the priest.
Who ate only grape marmalade.
At one hundred and ten,
She said with a grin,
"How nicely preserved I have stayed!"
--- Anon
Had black-eyed peas, turnips, and ham;
But then for dessert
I pulled off her skirt,
And ate her hole pie..."Thank ya, ma'am!"
--- Anon
Asked Jill, serving Joe tea and cake.
Those two, 'neath your sweater,"
Said Joe, "Would be better."
Jill, shocked, hit him twice with her rake.
--- Travis Brasell
Where live ladies lascivious and funny;
If you do not make haste,
You will find that our taste
Goes well with condiments and honey.
--- Maeve
By my shop -- in fact, right next door.
It's really not fair
To put it right there,
For now I'll gain pounds by the score.
--- ROE
And Heath Bar and Cookie dough too.
Sundae and floats,
And Banana Split boats
That stick to my hips like soft glue.
--- ROE
I'd rather with sex or with gin.
The price is too high;
When I look at my thigh,
And see those three scoops once again.
--- ROE
Like some people licking green slime.
I too, had a taste.
One never should waste
That yummy pie known as Key Lime.
--- H Welchel
Although pleasing to tongue and to eye,
Should never be green,
Unless you are keen
On pollution with icky green dye.
--- John Miller
Is paler than what you will see
If you pull down my pants
'Fore I get a chance
At a beach that is bathing-suit free.
--- John Miller
Is too firm to be likened to slime,
And too tart for a tart
But will do for a start
In your search for a flavor sublime.
--- John Miller
Now it's rarely applied to young snatch.
But if some girl is willing,
My filling's less filling.
Come here and I'll whip up a batch.
--- John Miller
Put fruit and two eggs in the hole
'Tween two legs and proceeded
To cream nicely as needed,
And he finished by licking the bowl.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1268
Who enjoyed everything that was sweet;
From butterscotch to berries,
Chocolate to cherries,
And ladies when they were in heat.
--- Portia Little P0304
The baker's lost the taste of his bud.
When he tries to make
A pudding or cake,
He said his cooking tasted like mud.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
He would cook all night and all day.
The sight of a kitchen
Would start his ass twitchin'
And he'd come in the brandy souffle.
--- Tom Patton P0510Q
Who told his bride, "Mrs Jerome,
This tastes like the cake
Which my mom used to make,
Just before father left home."
--- Attic Salt P0408
Chocolate cookie-like things that I should
Not be eating. Now what
Is that there? I forgot...
Time for coffee and sleep. Yes, I could.
--- Hilde na Beag
My actions are hardly covert.
You need no alarm.
I mean you no harm.
I only came here for dessert.
--- Naomi J Kahn
Who cannot get by on her salary.
On weekends she makes
Pavlovas and cakes,
For which she gets paid by the calorie.
--- Chris Young
A treat like a fine chocolate petit four;
To imply it's to eat
Is not just conceit--
In fact, it's not even a metaphor.
--- Norm Storer P9204
Then give it a tossing gently.
Don't squeeze it too much --
Just finger-tip touch.
This foreplay all good piecrusts kneed.
--- H Welchel
Delicious was his apple strudel.
He made crepe suzette
For his darling Yvette,
'Cause she hated to eat tuna noodle.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9306
Three tarts and a couple of jellies,
A Cadbury's Flake
And a portion of hake,
And an old spotted dick of George Melly's.
--- Kevin Hale Q
A junk foodish state of affairs!
I'll chow down with pleasure
And for extra measure,
Go feast where one finds pubic hairs.
--- Randog
Sweet, sour, and attracting flies.
It's good as goosebery
And tasty as cherry;
Please, have a slice -- don't be shy!
--- Marlene Lewis
Then watch each other's mouth go askew.
So sour yet so good
That in my boyhood,
Things were tastier in 1942.
--- Saint
Who made very rich cakes using lard.
Said her husband, "I question
If my poor digestion
Can cope with rock cakes so rock hard."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada