Said Bush to Saddam, "Well you blew it,
Hid weapons and our CIA knew it."
Out of guilt Bill replied,
"Though a crotch I had spied,
I still claim that I didn't screw it!"
(both started New Years with a bang)
Bill and Saddam they think much alike. Bill Clinton said, "Welcome aboard!" Etymologists show us with glee We're a country so young, and so small, Like Bush, Tony Blair's in a pickle; The Pentagon no longer grieves, In Iraq's presidential election, I can put out the fires so quick; To Iraq's Kuwait invasion, His dad Iran-Contra did hate; Acronyms make words' meanings compound: There once was a man named Hussein What shall we do about Saddam? Our troops found that low bastard Saddam; Saddam in a letter, made plain After each attack Saddam Hussein Clever spies captured Saddam Hussein "What was Clinton expecting to gain? In his hidey-hole, next to the quad, Because of another air raid, And now that Saddam is in hand, Bill can't wait to roll and rock; There was a dictator called Saddam "U.N., won't you please stop harassin' Old Saddam is caught up at last; "In construction, ground breaking is first," Inspectors can't hope to compete There's a bully who lives down the block; When Saddam sent troops to Kuwait, The Iraq situation grows tense, Saddam said, "I keep on trying, Saddam Hussein, what a guy.
This is file fal
They've blitzkrieged Iraq into rubble Saddam Hussein had his own list I offer this well thought prospectus Said Saddam as he entered his cave, Gore's added some pounds to his flanks, Pioneering in chemical science, I think the truth is quite plain; War's expensive, however it ends; Call me Sad Sack Saddam; We don't tolerate son-of-a-bitches; Saddam won't reveal all the facts, I don't think it's terribly funny That camel'd squat down to be manned, "In Iraq major theft runs apace," April Glaspie, our gal in Iraq, There once was a man from Baghdad; I am sure, good Sir or Madam, Now our Middle East ways are insane, That lunatic Saddam Hussein -- Undaunted by ramifications, Said Saddam Hussein, "Praise to Allah! Using skyrockets he couldn't buy, Saddam is a son-of-a-bitch; There once was a man from Cape Horn Because he was feeling his oats, Hussein from Iraq, he has bluffed us; No lover of life ecological Others have said, "Saddam sucks," So Saddam is still messin' about. Saving face must in S. Hussein's case In his bunker he sits down and cowers, A meeting held of Saddam's doubles, It seems everyone picks on the Kurds.
--- Bob Birch P0302
After New Year's, they'll seek a first strike.
Even though both are spent,
Neither one will repent,
But Bill's head won't end up on a pike!
--- Tom Patton P0302
As he sneaked in a bangable broad.
While Saddam and his gang
Fear an ear-splitting bang,
And are thinking of sneaking abroad.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0302
How versatile banging can be;,
Despite Hillary's anger,
Bill's a popular banger;
In war Sadam will be the bangee.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0302
Yet we're eons ahead of YOU ALL.
When we're done with Iraq,
Could be you we attack;
Just like last time, again you will fall.
--- Anon
The polls say war fever's a trickle.
If Saddam calls his bluff,
Then all his talk tough
Means he's left himself no room to wiggle.
--- Dr Limerick 09-03-02
For news it this moment receives
From those on the ground;
Saddam's arms are found!
He's hidden the things up his sleeves.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Abdul made a silly selection.
To impress an old flame,
He erased Saddam's name.
Next Tuesday's his funeral procession.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0212
You'll miss my magician's trick.
It will come as no shock
That while you're watching Iraq,
You should keep an eye on my DICK. (Morris)
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We reacted with great indignation.
But when we do the same,
Instead of due blame,
We expect all the world's approbation.
--- Anon
But now, WMD-gate!
Are the weapons around
That soon will be found,
Or is Dubya a two-faced head of state?
--- Tiddy Ogg
"Air-raid Shelter for Saddam"--Profound!
But let history show
That the fool didn't know
His A.S.S. from a hole in the ground!
--- Vassar Smith P9610
Who we knew was really insane.
With bombs on his back,
And germs in a sack,
We ought to just blow up Iraq!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who competes for the "worst" since old Adam.
Do you think it's bad sex
That makes him so vexed?
Does anyone know a good Madam?
--- Tutta Gioia
A truck'd slammed his ass on macadam,
But some French doc's OK
Sent their pal on his way.
We should'a slit his throat while we had 'em.
--- Armand Singer P0307
He's willing to play Dubya's game.
Inspect if you will
For weapons that kill;
You say but can't prove I'm insane.
--- Anon
Declares "I love the Tomahawk game.
I'm really excited,
Tourists are invited
To the hope of the Etermal Flame."
--- Tom Patton P9902
And his WMD's. They're methane. (weapons mass destruction)
He was caught in a cellar
Feeding beans to some feller,
Who can fart from a low-flying plane.
--- Don Moore P0309
My poor buildings," cried Saddam Hussein,
"Lie in absolute ruin.
And it's Slick Willy's doin'!
Now I hope he is feeling my pain."
--- William N Nesbit P9610
Poor Saddam Hussein asked his God
To be captured at present,
Since he feared an unpleasant
Abundance of fleas Navidad.
--- Hugh Clary
Saddam called for a Victory Parade.
"Each and every explosion
Prevents soil erosion;
It's U.S. incoming foreign aid."
--- Tom Patton P9902
They will capture that al Quaeda band
Of thugs bent on terror,
With hardly an error.
A frontal assault is what's planned.
--- Jeanie
He's ready to dump on Iraq.
He's eager to bomb
And to fuck Saddam,
Without even using his cock.
--- MrMalo
Who didn't like Kurds and he had 'em
Gassed like the Jews
In nineeteen forty two,
Like a proper U.S.-funded madman.
--- Lester Haines
All this chemical stuff I'm amassin'.
Their help is essential
To reach my potential
As Saddam, the gassin' assassin!"
--- Larry Hollister
His brutal regime is now past.
Found in a hole
Like a small little mole,
And like Cleo be given an Asp.
--- Mul
Said Saddam of HQ with lips pursed.
But each US cruise missle
Leaves land clean as a whistle,
So in Iraq, it is just reversed.
--- Tom Patton P9610
With a mad man who's bent on deceit.
They can look till they're blind,
Weapons they will not find.
Why play games with a man known to cheat.
--- Betty Ann Cansano
He'll invade you, and won't even knock.
This madman who's Persian,
Performs his own version
Of Paul Simon's "I am Iraq".
--- Larry Hollister
The havoc his men did create,
Caused the Saudis to cry foul,
And then throw in the towel.
"Call the US to set these things straight."
--- Tomer Shiran
While the world waits in breathless suspense.
Why has hostile Hussein
Been allowed off his chain?
A mad dog with a hole in the fence?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
My headquarters identifying.
But a hole in the ground
Is all I have found.
Why do they keep those missles flying?"
--- Tom Patton P9610
To get paid, just send kids out to die.
If you get shot before,
You can't kill any more.
Well, I guess claiments just have to lie.
--- Tomer Shiran
And stirred up a whole lot of trouble
To capture Hussein.
But who's sure that it's plain
That Saddam is himself, not a double.
--- Anon
Of guys he thought terrorist.
He'd not like them at all.
His orders: "Aim at the balls.
El Quaeda in Iraq I'll resist."
--- Anon
On the scourge of old Homo Erectus;
A beast so uncouth
Since days of his youth,
We're lucky Sadam finally left us.
--- The Sailor P0306
"This hiding is not very brave.
There is a bright side:
As long as I hide,
Oh Goody, I don't have to shave!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0401
While Saddams' pounds are all in Swiss banks.
It's Democratic lard
v. Republican Guard;
Bow your heads now and let us give thanks.
--- Arthur Deex P0410
Saddam flunks in treaty compliance.
He'll surround his pavilions
With helpless civilians,
Then bravely proclaim his defiance!
--- Larry Hollister
They say we will punish Hussein.
But in fact, we'll just test
The newest and best
Ways to kill and inflict the most pain.
--- John Miller
You're in deep, dude! You might get the "bends"!
So, Saddam, Shit fire!
Relax, man; Retire
To Tinseltown, where you've got friends!
--- Anon
I started my own Viet Nam.
Only six years ago
I said "Ayatolla ya so"?
No that was Iraq; me, I ran!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The Saddams and the Milosevic's.
They're petty dictators;
We should air-mail some craters,
And bomb them clean out of their britches.
--- Anon
As smoke plumes from the palace smoke stacks.
If you expect to see
Babyfood recipe,
Stay upwind or die of anthrax.
--- Tom Patton P9801
That Muslims, both Shiite and Sunni,
Seem quite unconcerned
That their kids may get burned
By anthrax, while Saddam gets money.
--- John E Mayhood P9801
By Sadam who'd grip with his hands.
He'd pump till he's weary;
Now his balls are not hairy,
'Cause of the abrasiveness of the sand.
--- Anon
Said Saddam with regret on his face.
"Headquarters is gone
(It must be Iran)
And they left a big hole in its place."
--- Tom Patton P9610
Said to Saddam Hussein in the sack,
"Can't you wait to get in?"
He heard, "Kuwait you'll win,"
So he ordered his troops to attack.
--- Don Moore P9407
Saddam was his name - and he had
A manic obsession;
He wanted oppression
And everyone thought he was bad!
--- Anon
Our attacks will not bother Saddam.
He will dote on the slaughter
Of wife, son, and daughter,
And generally not give a damn.
--- John Miller
Between Arabs and Jews and no brain.
It's got to be whacky
Killing scads of Iraqi
Just to punish one Saddam Hussein!
--- Anon
You can tell from his name he's insane;
He's a Shiite, or turd;
Hates the Sunnis and Kurds;
In the ass, he is naught but a pain.
--- Anon
Of threats by the United Nations,
Saddam Hussein
Is still a pain,
And a danger to all the Kuwaitians
--- Jim Weaver Collection
My Air Defense place cost top dollah.
Where it used to be found
Is a hole in the ground.
That Clinton, him one crazy fellah."
--- Arthur Deex P9610
Sent by Oliver North on the sly,
S. Hussein of Iraq,
Risking U.N. attack,
Celebrated the Fourth of July.
--- Cyber Geezer
They should find him face down in a ditch,
With a stick up his ass
Made of TNT mass,
And his body all covered in pitch.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose penis was tattered and torn.
He gave it a twist,
And not coming, he pissed;
And that's how Saddam Hussein was born.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Iraq's dictator was losing the votes.
They say he's insane
Since they found his stain
On the coats of the town billy goats.
--- Tom Patton P9811
Got the whole world raising a ruckus.
'Cept Clinton the loner,
Who stands with his boner,
Praying for no more Saddam Interruptus!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Could stomach a war biological.
Sending anthrax in clouds
Will put babies in shrouds,
But not Saddam, that mind pathological.
--- John E Mayhood P9801
But with the inspections in flux,
He'll have the last laugh,
Because Willy's staff,
Made evidence filling few trucks.
--- Chris Papa
He's an evil dictator devout.
We'll enter Iraq,
And get rid of this quack.
It's time someone took Saddam out.
--- Jayne
As a motive has very high place.
It elicits the query
Since it's ugly and hairy,
Is it really worth saving that face.
--- A N Wilkins P9104
Well aware of superior powers.
Saddam's only demand,
Is not far out of hand;
Just a quickie with Gennifer Flowers.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was held on one of Baghdad's rubbles.
In an air-raid, stay calm;
Saddam lost his right arm;
I'm afraid this will add to your troubles!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Saddam and his bunch are big nerds.
Until this thing wanes,
We should not send out planes.
But at least send him four letter words.
--- Al Willis P9610