I had an old Chevrolet Shove-it (Chevette)
Whose noise you could not hear above it.
When driving at fifty,
It got pretty iffy;
There was not a way I could love it.
--- Karen

A sprightly young fellow named Jay
Screwed a girl in his car every day.
His aims weren't base,
He just wanted to place
The 'lay' in his old Chevrolet.
--- Isaac Asimov

"At your age," declared Mr. Clay,
"I'd have driven my dad's Chevrolet
And been glad of the chance
Without this song and dance
On what bumper stickers might say."
--- A N Wilkins P8502

A tight-fisted satyr named Ray
Asked a lady if she'd play for pay.
When she named a fair price,
He responded "No dice."
So she peed in his new Chevrolet.
--- Theo Heller P9203

An amorous lady named White
Went out in a Chevy one night.
She was fucked by young Brinkage,
But she fouled up his linkage,
And it gave him a pull to the right.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0380

My brother and I had some fun
In Dad's Chevy, which led to this pun:
"Dad, let me explain,
The SUN made that stain..."
And Dad said, "I know. But which son?"
--- Anon

"Though his Chevy's a little bit rusted,
I think Bill is a guy to be trusted."
When a friend asked her why,
"It's his seatbelts," said Vi.
"They don't have to be readjusted."
--- A N Wilkins P8502

I, yesterday, saw Mr. Levy;
He'd replaced all the springs in his Chevy.
The reason, you see,
'Least it's what he told me:
His dates have been all very heavy.
--- Cap'n Bean P9809

I test drove a Corvette today,
And listened to the salesman say:
"Oh yes, it is true,
This car's really you."
And I began thinking that way.
--- Ericka

There once was a fellow named Brett,
Loved a girl in a shiny Corvette.
We know it's absurd
But the last that we heard
They hadn't untangled them yet.
--- Anon A

The beauties I had were a bevy;
Some breasts were small, most were heavy.
I picked their sweet cherries,
Those virginal berries;
Ah, memories of my old chevy.
--- Travis Brasell

There was a young lady named May,
Who was taking a ride in her sleigh.
She ran out of snow;
Her sleigh wouldn't go.
Now her horse pulls an old Chevrolet.
--- Smiley Scrooge

I went on another hiatus you see;
'Twas shopping for a sleek S.U.V.
It's a Chevy Suburban,
With a blue velvet curtain;
Now all I need's some warm company.
--- Anon

I tried out the stereo, it rocks;
But I'd rather be trying the shocks;
With a pretty young lass,
With one hand on her ass,
And the other entwined in her locks.
--- Anon

While driving toward Amarillo,
Sleep-driving was his peccadillo.
The trip was so boring,
He found himself snoring
Without benefit of a pillow.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An impatient young driver named Ray
Would get stuck in the traffic each day.
So to make matters nice,
He installed a device
Which yelled, "Get the Fuck out of my way!"
--- Albin Chaplin P0105

For years I've been puzzled and striving
To know why car-stickers are thriving.
I just passed a Ford
That said, "Baby on board",
And I found that the baby was driving.
--- Archie

The traffic's increasingly thick;
The road is amazingly slick.
If only they'd go,
I'd speed up and show
How my car is amazingly quick.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Moonstruck drivers will never take care.
On the road they will give you a scare.
They are never alone
As they talk on the phone,
At the same time they're combing their hair.
--- Tom Patton P0007

Sometimes I pretend I'm U.K.
And drive down the road the wrong way.
I get gestures quite graphic
From oncoming traffic --
It's clear they don't know how to play.
--- Ericka

I've read limericks from people who
Drive on the right just like you.
If you come over here,
Have nothing to fear.
Drive straight down the middle, like I do.
--- Bob Hunt

This summer to England I'll flit
And I don't like their driving one bit;
So, I'll take the bus
And avoid all the fuss
Of learning to drive like a Brit!
--- ROE

Scared of driving in England? Don't fear.
They will drive on the right by next year.
After planning for ages,
They will do it in stages --
Starting with trucks first, I hear.
--- Mike Dale

Whenever I drive in the town
I never can put my foot down.
They drive nose to tail
At the pace of a snail;
I always come home with a frown.
--- Frank

Ahead of me the road leads on;
Black night, bright stars and a song.
The freedom to go;
No one to say whoa.
I think I will drive until dawn.
--- Azul

Crank up the radio, girl!
Make that old highway uncurl.
Faster than light,
Driving all night,
Give your new car a good whirl.
--- Karen

The Feds want to crack down on anger;
Road kill from a slight fender banger.
Those whackos that beep
When I'm driving asleep,
Get pissed if I give them the fanger!
--- Anon

There is a young speed-freak named Sharon,
Who drives like an earth-bound Red Baron.
On her way to the shops,
She emergency stops,
Ever dreaming of joining McLaren.

(Formula One racing team - McW)
--- Chris Young

A formula driver named Reid,
Left the grid at very high speed.
In his most recent race,
I'm afraid he lost face;
He hit gravel because of his greed.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

He took the car for an test run;
At the wheel it felt like lots of fun.
At one hundred plus
With no tremor or fuss,
He travelled like a shot from a gun!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

When you're driving fast in the Grand Prix,
You don't know what the outcome will be.
If you're into a spin,
Then some trouble you're in;
You could wind up in eternity,
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Perhaps, if you'd exit your hovel,
With mitts, boots, and a shovel.
Be a man, look alive,
And shovel your drive.
Your waistline won't grow, but her love'll.
--- Bent Pedals

"I hate those French drivers," said Lance;
"Three times they near killed me in France."
But his wife replied,
"Just put it aside,
And give those nice folks one more chance."
--- Observer

This is file eyl

A car on a side street I spy,
Fast pulls in front of me. Why?
I've been going 60,
But now I'm at 50.
Rude folks can't let fast folks pass by!
--- Phil T

Some thoughts on the problem of traffic
In other locales geographic:
Right-driving touring
Amid left-driving chauffeuring,
May result in an end that's too graphic.
--- Anon

From conformist history ample,
Of trend-setters suffering a trample,
The Argentines
In the Isles Malvines,
May serve as a perfect example.
--- Res Ipsa

In the Falklands, without a rehearsal,
The Argentines ordered reversal
Of the driving direction,
Without allowing objection
From the resident left-driving denizal.
--- Anon

The Argentines drive on the right,
As any new-worlder just might.
But the British residents
Suffered car accidents,
Under Argentine tanks in the night.
--- Anon

Although Argentina lost in that war,
The motorists crushed, lost far more.
The left-driving Brits,
'Mid right-driving twits,
Were flattened and ground into gore.
--- Anon

Though at home, Brit soldiers ride horses,
'Round Windsor and Piccadilly courses.
While there, please go on the left,
Lest we be bereft
Of a rhymer underfoot of the forces.
--- Anon

'Twas on the M3, 'round near Book,
A glance at my speedo I took.
One hundred and nine
Eats the miles up fine;
But then in the mirror I look.
--- Tiddy Ogg

You've guessed what appeared in my sight,
A white car with flashing blue light.
Pulled to the curb,
Preparing to burb-
Le excuses pathetic and trite.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The speed cop walked over to shoot
His spiel: 'Guess you think it was cute.
Your licence?" and rash-
Ly I said, "In the dash,
With the gun, and you'll find in the boot..."
--- Tiddy Ogg

"...The body of my wife, Eileen"
The Officer turns yellow, then green.
He yells in his bleeper:
"Help, Constable Dnieper!"
In no time there's scores on the scene.
--- Tiddy Ogg

They search; all is clear. "It's all bleeding
Empty!" yells Dnieper, conceeding.
He stands, face afire.
Says I, "He's a liar.
The next thing he'll say, I've been speeding!"
--- Tiddy Ogg

The car salesman was heard to say,
"Joe, test drive this new car today!"
So that day in June,
Joe left around noon,
And test-drove that car until May.
--- Travis Brasell

There was a young driver from Calais,
While during the Rome-Turin rally,
Felt his head reel
And lost grip of the wheel.
Chamber Music? - I'm in the Po Valley!
--- J M Hudson

There was a motorist called Sally,
Who was not known to much dilly-dally.
She entered for fun,
And finally won
The Winter Monte Carlo Rally.
--- Anon

Once a chap with a headache called Lee
Took his car for a drive by the sea,
And returned without pain.
Said his wife, "Please explain"...
"I had Mot'rin and water," said he!
--- Peter Wilkins

Now I'm not too pure, it is true;
I've said many a word shaded blue.
But you won't get very far,
Cutting me off in my car,
I'll tell you, "Get Fucked" for it, too.
--- Anon

There was a young man named Irving
Whose driving consisted of swerving.
While scratching an itch,
He drove down a ditch.
Now all find his driving unnerving.
--- Anon

A reckless young man from Winona
Took part in a race at Daytona.
An ill-starred first round
Made him leave the ground
As Daytona's prime organ doner.
--- Rudolf Ammann

There once was a young man named Otto
Who had more time to loaf than he'd otto.
He went for a spiel
In his ottomobile,
As you'd think Otto ot in his otto.
--- Princeton Tiger P0007

They all drive like they are berserk.
There was one particular jerk
Who passed on the right,
Then sped out of sight.
I'll see him tomorrow at work.
--- Marlene

I'm staring at my new abode,
Which from miles away, I have towed.
Because I'm a sailor,
This large boxy trailer
Does not inspire much of an ode.
--- Anon

Miss Goodwrench said, "Shove it in...park!
Oh yes!...That's it!...Ohhh!...What a spark!
Your shaft is now seated,
Though quite overheated...
The head is well into it's mark!
--- Travis Brasell

I'm driving about in the snow,
As the winds of the winter doth blow,
On a slippery night,
When I steer to the right,
But left is the way that I go.
--- Cap'n Bean P0504

A friend of a friend that I know,
While out driving, quite angry did grow.
"Those drivers all suck,
Drive like old people fuck,
Extremely sloppy and slooooow!"
--- Jeanie

There once was a corner whereat
You'd approach while you grasped at you hat.
For there was vegetaion
Or earth from one station
To the other, and yes, that was that.
--- Liam na Beag

Then the City decided to post
All-way Stops. So with warnings to boast,
Traffic stopped as it should
And then went when it could.
All hail to the City! A toast!
--- Liam na Beag

We loved the new stoppage. But wait!
We had yet to hear from the State.
For they own the street,
And they thought it not meet
To have posted the signs there, of late.
--- Liam na Beag

Now they're gone, All-way stops and my mind.
The State took them all, and I find
No reason at hand
To say why, in this land,
One would jeopardize life in that kind.
--- Liam na Beag

A confused driving student, one night,
Made a left by mistake at the light.
Then she turned left twice more
With intent to be sure;
For she knew that three wrongs make a right.
--- Rory Ewins

There was an old man from Spokane,
Who always hogged the fast lane.
His problem though,
Was he went too slow,
And drove other drivers insane.
--- William K Alsop Jr

There was a young girl called Tamar,
Whose daddy gave her a new car.
No fun she'd derive;
She'd no license to drive,
'Til she learns, she'll not get very far.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

There was a young lawyer named Kane,
Whose driving stayed in the fast lane.
After a day in court,
With tension he's fraught;
His speeding relaxes his brain!
--- Arthur Pattaffy