MORE
I Love my Impala, a Chevy, I went out with a girl who was tall; My secondhand Jag has panache; "No, no. That's just going too far, dear," A middle-aged chaser named Parr I once reached a wonderful bliss Get off of that gear-shift, my dear; I went out, intending to score. A hillbilly way down in Texas Young cab-driver Joe loved vehicular He did not go very far A couple named Mary and Gus, Voulez vous couchez avec moi c'est soir? You'll never know how good you are A taxicab whore out at Iver, A baron, Sir Reginald Doles, The newlywed man of Hoboken I once knew a driving instructor; Miss Goodwrench may have some high fees, My knuckles went on the wheel; An impatient French buck from the Loire, Her buttocks had started to chafe In his car, a young lad of Purdue Said a voice from the back of the car Seat belts are great in a wreck, Her new boyfriend came after dark, A limousine driver named Hays For ages young men had to face A petite little number named Tina, A mechanic by his own admission The driver was a free spirited medium, There was a young fellow named Gord There once was a boy from St Pete "I don't have the fare," said Miss Waller, Truth to tell, as a stud, I'm a star; I know of one amorous putz I've had many beautiful chicks An amorous tourist from Fargo There was a young girl from Trebarwith, While driving, a lady named Brinker A slick auto salesman named Slade A romantic motorist from Ballon, There once was a friendly neurotic, This guy who loved cars, much the best, A mistake, but far from my worst; So everyone rides in a car; On the car seat my son left a stain, Male Chauvinist Pig? Yes, I am; As a father of girls I did fear Not only that, if you please, At the drive-in, our blues we will cure; We'll pretend to watch part of the flick; With her feet on the dash, she says: "Would As we rock, the car springs squeak like hell; A result of the Passion-Pit play: The difference 'tween woman and man, If I understand, what you mean is: Had a date in the folk's Chevrolet; Your busted, there's no use concealing; I admit that her heels marked the ceiling. The back seat a wonderful place, A Hummer might get you some heavy, My dear, we must be discreet Our passions must be held in check, If need be, I'll act like a saint A peck you said? On the M1?
For picking up girls, a pert bevy.
We get fuckin' ripped,
Before we get stripped,
Then I screw 'em all down by the levee.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
On the hood of my car we would ball.
I'd bend her right over
And enter the clover
And I would feel nothing at all.
--- Dudeshead
It has not been involved in a crash;
It could only improve
If I could remove
The footprints that mess up the dash.
--- Ann Gasser P9311
Screeched nasty, vituperative Nadia.
"A shag on the bonnet,
When you've flung me on it?
I do my best work in the car, dear!"
--- Anon
Propositioned a wench in a bar.
When she mentioned "Hotel,"
He replied, "What the Hell?
You can take all I've got in my car."
--- Grand Prix Lim 98
In the back of my car with my Miss.
What truly did thrill
And completely fulfill,
Came a half hour after the kiss.
--- CM
There's a dangerous bend around here.
I need to change down
Into third around town.
How the hell do you want me to steer?
--- Peter Wilkins
I was young and I had something more.
It was big, it was white,
Could drive women all night;
A nice new hardtop 4X4.
--- Anon
Was last seen out driving a Lexus.
She said, "Got it last night
From a cowboy who likes
The way my hard body flexes!"
--- Possum
Activities extra-curricular.
Because of the throb
Of the engine, his knob
Stood one-eighty degrees perpendicular.
--- Peter Wilkins
Last night with her in the car.
He stopped to unzip
And helped her to strip,
And then he went further by far!
--- Fstringe T9707
Making love in the back of the bus;
The driver shouts, then repeats
"You are using three seats!
Do it standing, I won't make a fuss!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408
Or would you prefer to visit a bar?
I cannot refrain;
Don't drive me insane;
Let's share passion in the back of your car.
--- Jayne
Till you try to make love in a car.
Many a man meets defeat
On a darkened back seat;
It's only the experts break par.
--- Grand Prix Lim 805 G0008
Would do a round trip for a fiver;
Quite reqasonable, too,
For a sightsee, a screw,
And a ten-shilling tip for the driver.
--- Victor Gray
Did a woman inside of his Rolls,
Where he probed and he poked,
And he licked and he stroked,
And he humped in her various holes.
--- Cap'n Bean P0412
At first thought his darling was jokin'.
She withdrew, not to bed,
But the auto instead,
For the poor dear had not been housebroken.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0196
His pupil, a sweet train conductor.
She make a mistake,
As she stood on the brake,
And as a penalty, then he fucked her.
--- Anon
But her skill with my motor does please;
Increased bore and stroke,
Lubed throttle and choke,
And my piston pumps smooth with her grease.
--- Anon
I gripped it like clamps of steel.
As I drove down the road,
I sprayed my payload
Right into the mouth of Lucille.
--- Anon
Screwed his girl driving through the boise.
The violation was moving;
With no one approving,
He could have easily smashed up his car.
--- Armand E Singer 358
In back of the car with young Shafe.
It did bruise and abrade her,
And when this got to Nader
He declared all those models unsafe.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0079
A romance with his girl did pursue.
He said, "Jump in the back."
She replied, "No sir, Jack,
I would rather stay up front with you."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0303
"Young man, I don't know who you are,
But allow me to state,
Though it may come too late,
I had not meant to go quite this far."
--- Linda Marsh Coll
But they sure make it harder to neck.
Buzzered then belted,
No gal's ever melted.
The best that you get is a peck.
--- VOL 7
And found him a garage to park,
Or that's what he thought;
'Twas none of the sort.
That space ain't to park but to fark.
--- Anon
Was known for his tolerant ways;
With a party of five,
In the rear, he would drive
Until all had completed their lays.
--- Norm Storer P0012
The question of where to embrace
The girl in seclusion,
So there'd be no intrusion.
The auto provided the place.
--- A N Wilkins P9203
Near the dorms by the college arena,
Would screw every night,
To her utter delight,
In the back of her red Catalina.
--- Cap'n Bean P0408
Had revved up his sluggish ignition
For a moment quite fleet
In a patron's back seat,
And brought to fruition, coition.
--- Jane D Hughes P9006
And her rider a long winded comedian.
Foreseeing a stick
As long as his schtick,
She pulled over and screwed on the median.
--- Greg Schindler P8812
Who diddled his girl in his Ford.
Though he managed her neat
In the front and back seat,
She claims to this day she was bored.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0701
Who parked with his date on the street.
They both got a ticket
From Officer Picket --
They went sixty-nine on the seat
--- David Miller
This is file eul
To the cabbie, "I've only a dollar.
But to pay for the ride
Here, I'll spread my legs wide."
Said he, "Don't you have something smaller?"
--- Bob Giandomenico P9203
I've had sex in twelve countries, so far;
But the view was the same
Every time that I came
In the spacious back seat of Dad's car!
--- Mark Levy P9702
Who'd screw his best girl in his Stutz;
He employed the rear seat
To have room for his feet,
His head, plus her boobs and their butts.
--- Armand Singer
In my white Cavalier '86.
Near the end of a journey,
The broads got so horny,
They begged always for a quick fix.
--- Anon
Picked up a hitchhiker for cargo.
At twenty a lay,
The wretch had his way,
And screwed her clear down to Key Largo.
--- Armand E Singer 344
Whom a cad in a car went too far with,
Which disproves a report
That she wasn't the sort
For going too far in a car with.
--- R J P Hewison
Had turned on her left turning blinker,
But she waited so long
That a man from Hong Kong
Fucked her once and then called her a stinker.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0062
Gloated over a deal he'd just made.
"This new car for my wife,
Should improve my love life,
And it's not, I might add, a bad trade."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9203a
Called Socrates Oscar O'Fallon,
Is changing his gears,
More oft with the years,
And he's getting twelve girls to the gallon.
--- Archie
Whose tastes were a little exotic.
Though rather bizarre,
He made love to his car;
One might say he was auto-erotic.
--- Lims Naughty and Gay
Searched parking lots, streets and the rest.
He thought if he'd lay
A hot Chevrolet,
Then his life would truely be blessed.
--- Lims Naughty and Gay
It was Henry's unquenchable thirst
For more, better, faster,
That got the old bastard
To perfect the assembly line first.
--- Anon
Faster and ever so far.
And now the back seat
Is surely the treat,
Of the world's young lovers', har har!
--- Anon
Which I didn't ask him to explain.
But it makes me feel proud.
(Though it must be allowed
HER dad would've viewed it with pain).
--- John Miller 0324 a
Claiming anything else would be sham.
Girls should be chaste
For boys, that's a waste,
And frankly, I don't give a damn.
--- John Miller 0324a
The same thing that has happened here.
He just might have scored
With condom ignored.
You might be a granddad next year.
--- Frank Fazed
There's something that's called a disease.
If you don't take care
And leave your pecker bare,
Who knows what will happen, "Oh Jeeze!"
--- Arden
Me and Sweetie will do the Grand Tour;
For refreshment, know what?
Got a cooler here but,
Seven-up's kept at room tem-per-chur!
--- Anon
Things will get out of hand, pretty quick!
I'll go down; hear her squeal!
(What a taste, near a meal!)
I'll run out of new items to lick!
--- Anon
You push Big Boy right in where you should?"
Here I go; hear things squeak!
It's a tight fit, won't leak!
This here scene, folks, sure beats Hollywood!
--- Anon
This ol' Chevvy sure bounces real swell;
Now, together we lunge;
Here's the climactic plunge!
With the windshield steamed up for a spell!
--- Anon
Musk in seats and head-liner will stay;
Monday morn, the car pool's
Caught that scent, (they're no fools)
Of a bitch-in-heat's pungent bouquet!
--- Anon
When choosing a car, truck or van,
Men see as extention
Of his manhood's dimension!
For that, he'll do anything he can!
--- Anon
Man relates his car to his penis?
In that case I'd say
We would not want to play
If his car is of the compact genus.
--- Anon
They found footprints which faced the wrong way.
"Through the window in back,
I just looked, keeping track;
Hoping no one was coming our way!"
--- Allen Wolverton
Your night in the car was revealing.
High heels and a dog,
Golf shoes and a hog,
Their footprints were all on the ceiling.
--- CM
The seats got quite wet, I'm revealing!
'Twern't no hog on the scene;
Just Old Blue licked her clean!
Had her grunting and snorting and squealing!
--- Allen Wolverton
Where passionate couples embrace.
Then two become one
And hit a home run.
A hummer will get you third base.
--- Randog
Hot, passionate sex from a bevy
Of whores on a Friday.
But way back in my day,
The windows fogged up on my Chevy.
--- Travis Brasell
While we play in the taxi backseat.
The driver might see
Or run into a tree,
From watching and beating his meat.
--- Kaylin Brandon
Till we find a place better to neck.
If would be pathetic
If we got too athletic
And caused the cab driver to wreck!
--- Kaylin Brandon
And mouth little sayings quite quaint.
The driver'd not see
You fondling me
All the while as I tickle your "'taint".
--- Frank Fazed
Or perhaps Chesterfield on the run;
Or her hand down his pants
Through the whole of Northants,
Caused this pile-up right down to Luton.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
MORE